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Is It Easier For Women Than It Is For Men? Do Women Have More Choices?

in Learning, Nice Guy, Opinions Advice
Who will she be choosing today?

In the world of dating, relationships, AND sex, is it easier for a woman than it is for a man?

Do they really have more choices?

I will admit I rarely ever participate voting in any election. I feel if I’m not given an at least an adequate choice I choose none.  If I can not find a blend of quality, competence, character, and trust why should I bother even voting.

It’s a waste of my time. I would feel as if I was settling  and the end result would diminish my own character.

Any long term investment will have long lasting results. Good or bad, it’s unavoidable.

Therefore when I decide to put my trust in someone for at least a few years I’m actually putting trust in my future.

I talk to many men and women on a daily basis and the topic of a woman’s choices always seems to pop up.

  • Woman often feel like they have no choices and I get the same feelings from them as I feel about the voting process.
  • Men say woman have all the choices and are ultimately the selector.

I used to believe it myself until one day it occurred to me my thinking was logical, but wrong. Therefore I have strong personal feelings on the subject.

I won’ be sharing them all with you today but I will scratch out my instincts to some typical questions I hear from men about a woman’s choices.

“Why is it so much easier for a woman? It’s not fair. They can get laid anytime they want.”

“This stuff is tough. Why should I have to go through so much work to attract women?”

“Why can’t I Just be myself?”

“Why is that women have all the choices and yet they choose the worst one for them?”

“If they really wanted a nice guy than why aren’t they attracted to me unless I do all this to attract them?”

Well guys…take a look around.

Notice the men around you.

Better yet imagine all the men you have known in your life. Now pretend, for just one fraction of second, (this is going to hurt) that you’re a woman. Yes man. You are a woman. Haha! No groping yourself either.

Seriously though, if you were her and you could choose from all those men you knew in your life…

How would you NOW feel about all those choices she has?

How many consisted of the right blend of quality, competence, character, and trust?

Do Women Really Have More Choices?

Thinking back on who I was… I was not a real choice. I was a let down. I was not even close to being a “real man”!

Alright before I get accused of male bashing let me make this point clear.

I believe a large majority of men are good people just trying to do the best they know how to. Unfortunately there seems to be huge population of men that just don’t understand women.

They go about relationships and attraction blindly. They are only privy to their own thoughts, and some bad teaching about sex growing up.

Men are not taught or not care enough about the quality of their lives, (as it was in my case)  to learn to give women what they need rather than what they they want.

Here are those questions again and how I now feel about each one.

“Why is it so much easier for a woman? It’s not fair. They can get laid anytime they want.”

Life isn’t fair. I have always knew that but I also learned from David DeAngelo that if life were fair, we would not be able to get what we really wanted.

Thinking about the fairness in that statement is merely a distraction or a frustration in thinking we can not get what we really want.

It’s a deflection from the truth.

“This stuff is tough. Why should I have to go through so much work to attract women?”

Why should a man have to go through so much to get a girl?

Come on guys, if you believe that I can guarantee you already do too much for women and you know it. And not enough for yourself.

Reading a little. Practicing a little. Doing a little each day to become a highly attractive real man, comparably, is not much work at all.

Remember the four words I used above:

Quality. Competence. Character. Trust. I borrowed it from Scot McKay.

That’s what it takes to attract women. That’s what it takes to shed the belief she is the selector. She wants a man to choose her. She needs to feel special in your eyes. She wants a guy who likes her for her. Which means… I need to feel special.

You don’t even have to a be funny guy, you only have to think you’re funny.

She may even tease you about your lack of humor but show her the qualities above are within you so she can feel you are worth her long term investment.

I’ve been awoken 3am in the morning listening to crying girls. I’ve listened to hours of angry women only to have them back with the same guy they supposedly hated. I’ve written poems, songs, thought for hours of what to say, all to change her mind about me with romance.

And let me tell you,  that was work.  A lot more work with absolutely NO results at all.

“Why can’t I just be myself?”

I’ve always struggled with this one. You can be yourself.

No women in the world who is worth it will expect anything more.

But you’re still going to have to make her feel something for you. If you don’t know how…add it to your list of things to do today. It’s worth it.

Women respect men who go after what they want. They also are more likely to be attracted to them. They feel their passion and it makes them happy.

If you’re passionate about her, then use that passion to discover everything women are all about. Let that be your new passion for a while.

Instead of thinking “Oh I want her so bad”, think…”Oh I can’t wait to learn how to allow her to feel attracted to me!”

“Why is that women have all the choices and yet they choose the worst one for them?”

This is always a great question. It’s the old women only love jerks rephrased with a nice guy twist.

Yes, it’s true there are women who are attracted to guys that are bad for them but as a guy, have you ever made a mistake by letting certain moments control your actions?

I’m not talking about your gut instincts here. I’m talking about the perpetual loop of being stuck on one person so much, you forget everything around you.

Yes people can make bad decisions. It happens. Women are no different.

I’ve already mentioned that women really don’t have as many choices as us guys would believe, and as for them choosing the wrong one…I can guarantee that if  you represent the right decision for her, and she feels the same for you as she does for the jerk, quality women will choose on average what is best for them.

However since just being nice does not turn her on she will find herself constantly choosing the men who can make her feel attracted to her.

And if at that point she still opts for the hurtful relationship, than she is just not for you anyways.

“If they really wanted a nice guy then why aren’t they attracted to me unless I do all this or that to attract them?”

I’m going paraphrase from Carlos Xuma here. I don’t think anyone could have put it better and of course I’m sure he wasn’t the first person to say but,

“Show me a hot girl and I’ll show you a guy that is tired of sleeping with her.”

Granted when taken out of context may be considered rude but I think the point Carlos was trying to make was that, just because she’s hot or beautiful, doesn’t mean she’s any good.

Her attractiveness only reflects her looks. Who she is, who she chooses, how she lives her life, is not different from anyone else. Sure her problems may differ but they still exist.

If you meet an attractive woman who is constantly with someone who is bad for her, why would you even bother giving a shit.

If you seek a woman who wants a nice guy or a stable relationship then do what it takes to make her feel attracted to you.

Be that man to her and forget the rest.

If you’re into being treated badly by a woman who only knows how to play games or start drama, then it is your choice, and chances are you’ll be the one asking this question often:

Why it easier for women than it is for men?

I don’t think it’s easier for women or men.

When we step back and look at the bigger picture, it’s a tough game to win. There’s a lot of competition and tons of opportunities to make the wrong decision.

BUT if this question is deemed as a statement, it’s again, a deflection, a distraction to make our failures less our own fault.

Focus on the issues at hand and whether or not it’s easier for men or women won’t matter much at all, will it?

About the author: Creator of the nice guy approach, why do guys, why do chics, and DiaLteG TM. Transformed from a nice guy kiss ass who wanted women to like me for “who I was” to an attractive “good guy” who knows what it takes to create attraction and succeed with women, dating, and relationships.

Please visit all my pages: The Nice Guy Approach | The Approach | Why Do Guys…? | Why Do Chics…? OR Like my Facebook fan pages: Why Do Chics…? | DiaLteG TM OR JOIN the best group on women at Why Do Chics…?. Yes, I’m a very busy guy. 🙂 Oh… I almost forgot Twitter – Peter White.

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3 comments… add one
  • Trilby

    I’m afraid you haven’t actually pointed out where “women don’t have more choice than men”. You may have pointed out their higher standards, but I’m afraid that doesn’t mean jack shit about their choices – other than the fact that they are in a position to limit those choices themselves.
    Furthermore this line: “Oh I can’t wait to learn how to allow her to feel attracted to me!” is absolute bunkum, it’s not a case of “allowing” a woman to feel attracted to you. It’s a case of CAUSING a woman to feel attracted.
    Which you claim can be accomplished by making the woman feel desired, a claim I would very much contest. If I had a dollar for the number of times I heard women say “I wish guys would stop wanting me” – well I wouldn’t be a rich man but I’d certainly have enough for weekend bender!
    Anyways, I think you have some pretty valid points here, I just feel a need to point out where I disagree.

    • Good points, I agree BUT my nice guy approach IS about allowing her to feel attracted to you by not getting in your own way and letting her mind do all the work necessary to build that attraction. Either way, yes CREATING attraction is essential because without it, well we’re just making friends. Right?

      Causing a woman to feel attracted tends to lead guys into believing they have to DO something which obviously works but doesn’t really get them to the next level. I can do things to make her feel attracted to me but what comes next is more important. Otherwise we end up going nowhere with it or just have a ton of quick lays to brag about.

      Now about those women saying, “I wish guys would stop wanting me” I’ve heard it a thousand times myself AND it was always guys they didn’t feel anything for anyways. Whether something happens or not, they really only seem to complain about guys wanting or checking them out or staring at their ass or checking out their tits who they feel absolutely nothing for.

      Otherwise, in context, they’re actually “testing” a guy they want and hoping a response would prove to them whether they want them or not. Like when a woman is attracted to me and wants to figure out whether I’m interested, she might say that because she wants to read my response and test whether my answer is “good enough” to proceed with me or not.

      Anyways, thanks for sharing, wish more guys would speak their mind like this because honestly this kind of communication is how we learn… right?

      Thanks again,


  • Naveed

    Well incase a man is exactly the same as woman in department of looks the woman is going to have a lot more options than the man for casual partner. However sprinkle a little mk ey and stability on this man and he would suddenly become far more desirable to the opposite gender than the girl she is being compared to. Now put the same amount of money and stability on the woman and she is still nowhere as intersting to the men around her.
    The comparison of men and women is plain stupid. Its like comparing a dolphin with a monkey in tree climbing competition. Men have far more choices both casual and long term they just have to wait till they are old enough and have a steady job and stability.
    When i was in university there were rarely if any women interested in me. Now i make hardly 100k per year and i have no hard time finding women taking them to dates or rejecting them as and when i please i do t even need to do alot to impress them. They already are impressed when they hear abkut my work after that its them trying to impress me

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