The shallow end is nice and all, cools the feet down. Simple and relaxing.
Good place to be, right?
For some it can be comforting, an adventure. Free to move in just about any direction.
For others – a nightmare, one slip and they go under; unable to breathe, suffocating and dark.
My thoughts about diving into the deep end – Love it!
Head first I’ll take the plunge.
Little by little the struggles of life make us want to empty it. Bit bit by. Bucket by bucket.
The hard times we feel; others trying to push us down, splashing their bullshit into our private pool or fun watering hole.
The red tape of the world wrapping us up tight making it hard to tread there… swallowing the drops we take it in deep. Sometimes in our lungs it makes us choke a little and we cough it back out. Sometimes into our stomach as we belch from the dirty unfiltered sludge that feels like a rotten disease.
So we fight it. Swim against it. Kicking and pushing unable to scream for fear we’ll swallow too much of it. The now dirty water turning us into someone we don’t want to be. Angry, dark, eerie – like the sea at night a never-ending sight of wavy yet flat lines extending into nothingness.
We spend so much time and energy trying to empty it.
Removing it – drop by drop – glass by glass – however we can. With our hands cupped we fight it too but that doesn’t work so well as the falling water slips through our fingers.
But we try, don’t we.
We’re told, that’s life – get over it.
AND we think or imagine a better life…
The shallow end is nice. The warm sun on our bodies. Our feet cool and relaxed. Simple and sublime.
The deep end – just a few steps away and a hard splash smashes our frail all (tightened up) bodies. One crisp crack we go under and look around – sometimes it’s murky and brown BUT sometimes crystal clear with a bluish tint we see the fish run from us – we’re bigger than them and our feet are scary to them – we’re different. We’re scary. We’re not like them so they hide.
Can’t we have both?
Play in the shallows. Hang out for a bit.
Swim by OUR choice; when and where we want to a place we can’t last as long because we know (eventually) we have to come back ashore.
Back to our feet slightly buried in the sand as the tiny waves ripple and cower at our massive toes. Those little granules of sand fleeing and spreading from our wiggling.
Superficiality appears to be underrated and worshiped at the same time. Understood yet so perplexing. Complicated yet simple.
So much meaning wrapped up in two innocent words unaware of themselves, incapable of thought, unknowing to the struggle it seems to bring us.
Ineffable – perhaps.
Still… I choose to dive in head first. Eyes closed. Nose left unplugged.
Enjoying the deep end.
Don’t be shallow I utter to myself.
Until my teeth chatter and the birds surround me, laughing as they fly away once they’ve chomped on their lunch or dinner; let them go – for their gift is flight – mine is the many choices of thoughts which free me and bind me at the same time.
Left to contemplate or decide which is right – which is wrong. Knowing and admitting there’s no right or wrong.
We CAN play in both.
It is possible.
If we don’t expend or exhaust ourselves with futility spraying out the liquid that surrounds us.
Just treading it, living in it – is all that is needed to push it all away knowing full well it’s not going anywhere, merely circling us with the likeness of our bodies.
Enough left over to stand again – feel the warm sun and the tingling on our toes for a time.
Gather our senses and thoughts as we boldly look into the horizon and where we’ve been and plan to go again.
Because it’s okay.
It really is.
I’m certain of it.
We can burn while standing in the shallows.
We can drown ourselves in the deep.
Either way – just leave the waters open and don’t be afraid…
Because it’s okay – it really is.
We can PLAY in both.
We can stand in one, dive in the other, jump into one, leap from another, in and out as we choose; the tides pushing and pulling in one – the waves smashing into us on the other.
No matter how it’s looked at it – where we are – where we’re going – where we’ve been – WHO we are… today, tomorrow, yesterday:
Leave the waters open and don’t be afraid.