We all make them.
Some more or less than others but in reality, aren’t they just “Limited” Beliefs?
Something we use or do to “limit” ourselves and decrease our options in our world.
My biggest one is no secret… being short!
Let me tell you a quick story…
I was at a bar featuring live bands. The musician in me would bring me close enough to watch what they were doing. I would check out the equipment and sometimes meet the members.
The bar was also located close to a college where the basketball team was their biggest highlight so the players got their fair share of attention.
There I was standing close to the make-shift stage when two top players came in and stood next to me.
Since I take up some space the only way they could get close to the band was to surround me. One stood to the left, the other on my right.
Wouldn’t you know it here comes one of their “biggest” fans.
She’s looking up at them, gazing in awe, telling them how great she thought the team was this year and how happy she was to see them.
She stared at the right one, staring up and smiling. (After all the were just under seven feet tall.)
I noticed she was “eyeing me” because her head was bobbing up and down. First to the guy on my let, then back to the guy on the right, and then back again several times.
Maybe she got tired and felt a little compassion because after doing this several time her eyes locked on me, gazed up at two of the tallest guys you could ever meet and with a childlike voice and a huge smile said to me,
“Oh Sweetie! You’re cute too”
At which time she unluckily on my part decided to pinch my cheeks.
The two guys looked at me at first like I was going to steal their fame for the evening, but being cool, they eventually laughed with me.
It actually felt great because it was one of the biggest tests I ever had. My height was not only put in the spotlight in a very public place, but more importantly having to deal with a woman who was obviously attracted to their fame and their height would’ve years ago sent me running.
But I handled it with dignity, respect, and laughed about it. I think that was the first time when I realized the limited belief I held for years over my height was finally behind me.
How can we overcome a limited belief like this?
Sometimes it’s just a matter of changing how we think by reversing our beliefs and spinning them in a new, positive way.
It doesn’t take years of professional consultations or digging deep into our childhood. It only requires an objective look at ourselves and the world we live from a realistic but often alternative perspective.
I am by no means a psychiatrist, or even a practicing psychologist. I’m just some guy who managed to go from getting absolutely nowhere with women to a man with a fairly abundant amount of women to actually choose from.
Sure I still have excuses. Sure I still occasionally struggle with a limited belief or a self-esteem issue now and then. But they are few and far between. They are now manageable and my dating life is now under my control.
Based on my experiences, failures, and successes, positive thinking does work!
Re-framing our beliefs can affect our life in a positive way. It may take some time to develop but it is definitely worth it.
You see I struggled with my height for years…
I’m 5 foot 5 inches. Short by “average” man standards.
Here is some of what I heard in my short life which I felt I had to overcome. If you’re as tall as me I’m sure you’ve heard them all before:
- I don’t date short guys.
- I only like taller men.
- You’re too short for me.
- Short men always seem like they have something to prove.
- Tall men get further in life.
- Tall men make more money.
- Tall men get laid more.
- I wouldn’t want to be seen dating a shorter guy.
- I’m embarrassed kssing a guy shorter than me.
- I can not dance with a shorter guy.
- Big strong guys make me feel safe.
When some of them would land in my life I would get defensive. Upset. I firmly believed that my shortness had everything to do with not getting laid to finding a girlfriend to just having women attracted to me more than a taller man.
But that was all bullshit and I know it now.
The only way me being short had anything to do my failures was that I believed it and when I believe in something enough, I make it come true.
It’s only natural then to assume, when I believed the opposite, that would come true too. I could use my height as an advantage and some some disadvantage.
Here are a few ways to do that:
1. Have a comeback for any common insult or observation that is upfront and demands respect:
- I don’t date shorter guys. – “I don’t blame you. Everyone wants someone they can look up to. Too bad you’ll never be one of those for me.”
- I only like taller men. – “Haha! You mean I finally found someone more shallow than me.”
- You’re too short for me. – “And you’re too narrow-minded for me.”
- Short men always seem like they have something to prove. – “Proving you wrong on that statement is a waste of my time.”
- Tall men get laid more. – “I suppose you’re now going to prove it to me by not sleeping with me. How mature.”
Sure I know those comebacks are kind of rude and not always the best way to handle it but think of it this way.
When a very attractive woman is bringing up your height early on, assume she is testing you.
She wants to know how strong you are and how you deal with your height. She wants to know how you’re going to react.
By not getting angry and respectively stating your opinion about HER limited belief demands respect. By disqualifying her quickly says you’re not going to put up with rudeness just because she’s attractive.
Yes, sometimes you’ll piss her off but as long as it’s not over your anger she’ll either get over it, move on to a new subject, or move on to finding a taller guy to date. Saving you time and energy and possibly from getting stuck dating someone with a bad attitude and worse problems over her height.
2. Have a comeback for any common insult or observation that is cocky and funny:
Perhaps this one works a little better depending on the type of woman you’re dealing with and if you don’t get too wrapped up in it, you can change the subject quickly so you’re not stuck talking about our height issues once again.
Simply put, you take a cocky statement and make it funny. It works well in moderation.
3.) Bring up the topic early and make fun of it to show no insecurity about being short and proving you’re confident and at ease with who you are.
Make sure it is funny and I’ve found it works well with taller women who may have a limited belief of dating a shorter man or being tall themselves.
Often those women get confused when they find themselves attracted to a shorter man and don’t know how to deal with it.
This also works great with shorter women. We all have seen petite women with extremely tall guys.
There are many reasons for this. I always have had my own ideas of why this was and I still feel I’m correct…
But until I bought Secrets To Success With Women For Shorter Men I had only touched the surface.
Whether you want to date a woman your height, or a taller woman…
4. You can also learn to Re Frame your beliefs on being short.
Please visit my page on Limited Beliefs when you get a chance. I have used being short as a great example to get you started.
5. Read these posts for a better understanding of everything contained within this post. They should give you some great insight into overcoming your beliefs.
These two are kind of short but they do have a great message.
- Too Ugly? Too Short? Here’s How To Turn Your Flaws Into Strengths or
- How to Attract Girls Even if You’re Short
Here’s few articles written by Scot McKay. These kick ass. You should really enjoy them.
- Limiting Beliefs in Reverse – See Dating and Attraction From a Woman’s Perspective and Succeed
- Put Your Limiting Beliefs Aside – How to Become Her Superman
I do sincerely hope this post has helped you to overcome any fears or beliefs you have about your height.
Your height should never hold you back from getting the women you desire in your life.
And please, one more thing, refrain from using common cliches such as,
“I’m not short. I’m vertically challenged.”