Excuses! We all make them. If you believe you’re too short to attract the women you so desire, then it’s an excuse.
You’re limiting yourself, decreasing your options to date lots of great women, and making it harder on yourself to fully succeed in many areas not “limited” to dating and attraction.
Today’s lesson is for all you short guys like me.
I’m a tall five foot four and for years have consistently used my height as one of the biggest reason or excuse as to why I wasn’t get laid or managing to find a girlfriend.
But first… Let me tell you a quick story…
I was at a bar featuring some live bands. The venue was close to a college where the basketball team was their biggest payday so the players got their fair share of attention.
AND of course they were all very TALL.
There I was standing close to the make-shift stage when two top players came in and stood next to me. 7 foot guy on my left. 6 foot something big on my right.
Wouldn’t you know it along comes one of their biggest fans. Some older lady who never missed one of their games.
She started looking up at them, gazing in awe, telling them how great she thought the team was this year and how happy she was to meet them.
She stared up to the one on my right. Then across to the one on my left.
I noticed she was “eyeing me” because her head was bobbing up and down. First to the guy on my left, then back to the guy on the right, and then back again several times. It was actually kind of amusing.
Maybe she got tired or felt some due compassion because after doing this several time her eyes locked on me, gazed up at the basketball players and in a childlike voice (more like patronizing) gave me a HUGE SMILE and said,
“Oh Sweetie! You’re cute too!!!”
At which time she decided to pinch my cheeks as if I was some man-child who needed some encouragement.
The two guys looked at me at first as if I was “stealing their day of glory” but realized quickly who I was and we all started laughing. It was a lot of fun.
This was my first big test since I reinvented myself and got down the “attract women” part of my life under my control.
My height was not only put in the spotlight in a very public place, but had to deal with a woman who was obviously attracted to fame AND HEIGHT.
Something that would’ve sent me running before – embarrassed and pissed.
It was the first time I fully realized the limited belief I held on to for so long based on my size and height was finally behind me. No longer would my height be an issue, an excuse, or something blame when I failed to get a girl attracted to me.
End of story. Thanks for stopping by and have a wonderful day.
You can also overcome your limited belief of being short.
You CAN stop yourself from using it as an excuse of your past failures with women.
You too can finally learn to get past your height issues and ATTRACT lots of women, tall and short.
Sometimes it’s just a matter of changing how you think by reversing your beliefs and spinning them in a new, positive way.
It doesn’t take years of professional consultations or digging deep into our childhood.
It only requires a real objective look at yourself and the world you live to start seeing things from a more attractive alternative but totally realistic perspective.
Positive thinking works and re-framing your limited belief system will also work for you IF you get to doing it right away.
The last thing you need is to start using excuses to avoid re-framing your beliefs because you’ll create a very hard circle of negativity to overcome.
Here is how you can overcome your short issues and re-frame the belief of your shortness being a problem for you.
First start with the easy stuff…
#1: Learn all the advantages you have with women by being short or shorter guy.
Let’s be realistic there are not a ton of advantages being short or shorter BUT the list is just as long as if you were tall too. So don’t let that get you down.
You fit everywhere in comfort.
Car seats are spacious. Airplane seats offer just enough room.
An average bed leaves plenty of feet room for a relaxing night of sleep in any position you choose.
You don’t intimidate people especially women. When those around you are not scared of your height, then it makes connecting with them so much easier.
You can stand closer to others without creeping them out.
You can talk to women at a close comfortable distance while a tall guy needs to stand much farther away.
You make any woman “feel” like a supermodel when she’s with you.
When you’re with a girl, you and her are not accused of superficiality AND often people assume you MUST have real confidence.
You’re actually considered more ambitious because the “assumers” think you have a Napoleon Complex. Whether you do doesn’t make a difference.
When women think you must be ambitious and confident they’ll more likely to feel attracted to you.
The woman you’re with or dating are not so caught up in the height thing and tend to be a little less superficial then a woman who chooses men who are only of a certain height.
When you show a woman you can protect her, emotionally and physically, it once again shows how much confidence and real strength you do have and it’s less likely to be seen as obnoxious or fake.
You can approach women with less fear because being a shorter guy – you’re actually less threatening.
The point is you DO have lots of great things happening by being short.
Don’t get caught up in trying to figure out all the advantages because then all you’re really doing is comparing yourself to others and trying to make yourself out better than them – whether it’s height, looks, or money doesn’t make a difference.
Just understand HEIGHT is not an issue unless you believe it is and use it as an excuse to avoid getting what you want out of life – and this includes dating any woman you desire.
There’s a ton more probably missed here and if you need them – go out and find them – leave them in a comment below.
“Being short can allow you to gain rapport much easier with girls than taller guys can.
Tall guys have a psychological communication barrier a lot of the time because they’re literally speaking to a lot of girls (who tend on average to be shorter than guys) from a different level.
So remember, it’s not your flaws that get in your way. It’s your limiting beliefs that do.”
Let’s move on to “bigger” and better things…
#2: Be realistic and objective on the issues (some) women have in dating a a guy that is shorter than them.
Get over it now. Face it.
Some women will never date a guy who is shorter than them.
But you know what – that’s their issues and shouldn’t concern you at all.
You too have standards and have a few types of women you would never date either.
It works both ways and who are you to judge another choice in life whether you believe they’re right or wrong.
You can handle this in two ways:
One – feel rejected and dejected and focus on the negative parts and continually feel pity on yourself. You will certainly find others who will join you BUT really, you have nothing to prove here.
Whining or bitching about something you have absolutely no control of is not only a waste of time – it makes you LESS ATTRACTIVE no matter how short you are.
Having a negative “poor poor me” attitude about life and your position in life will ALWAYS make you less attractive than any short dude who is positive and uplifting.
Two – Move on.
So what, you’re short. So what, “some” women won’t date you. So what, you have to look up every now and then. So what – there are certain things you can not reach and need to stand on something to get it down.
Really – it’s not a big deal at all UNLESS YOU MAKE IT A BIG DEAL.
“Next thing to do long term is to GIVE UP any approval-seeking.
Who cares what women think of you?
Go through life doing what you want and being who you are.”
As stated above but a little different…
A happy, productive, man of character, respected, confident, has “women” skills, a positive attitude and a clever way of dealing with life, and a fun way of looking at life and all its hardship will ALWAYS be more attractive than some miserable short guy who feels the world is against him.
The choice is really yours and nobody can take that away from you.
#3: Learn how to handle the insults or negativity when it’s appropriate.
This is not about starting fights and don’t make it like you always feel you have to defend yourself and your height.
Do it with a “matter of fact” voice. Consider it a debatable thing and not a heated argument.
Do it ONLY when respect is due and when it just feels like the right thing.
Do it ONLY when you can turn it around on her and get her thinking about what she just said.
Do it ONLY when you know and are confident enough to attract her despite her negative attitude about dating or sleeping with a shorter guy.
Do it ONLY when you can laugh it off.
Again you’re not out to PROVE ANYTHING or defend yourself.
Have a comeback for any common insult or observation that is upfront, honest, and sometimes demands respect:
You’ll run into women who will give you their “excuse” right away.
They’ll say things like,
“I don’t date shorter guys.”
Your response – “I don’t blame you. Everyone wants someone they can look up to.”
“I only like taller men.”
Your response – “Haha! You mean I finally found someone more shallow than me.”
“You’re too short for me.”
Your response – “…And you’re too narrow-minded for me.”
“Short men always seem like they have something to prove.”
Your response – “Tell me about it. I once knew this guy – even shorter than me – what an annoying pain in the ass. Always try to prove he was better than me at everything.”
“Tall men just get laid more.”
Your response – “I suppose you’re now going to prove it to me by not sleeping with me. How mature.”
“Wow… you’re much shorter than I expected.”
Your response – “It’s cool, I’m still growing. just waiting for my next growth spurt.”
The point is:
Have some really funny responses to lessen the affect of their negative attitude. Play it down. Smooth it over with humor and confidence.
They’ll either feel bad for what they said OR more attracted to you.
If you go out always trying to prove something or defend yourself, it will backfire.
AND once again – you WILL run into women who are totally against dating a shorter guy and TRYING to convince them otherwise is a waste of your time.
When a woman is bringing up your height early on, assume she is testing you.
She wants to know how strong you are and how you deal with your height.
She wants to know how you’re going to react.
By not getting angry and respectively stating your opinion about HER limited belief demands respect.
By disqualifying her quickly says you’re not going to put up with her rudeness.
Yes, sometimes you’ll piss her off but as long as it’s not over your anger she’ll either get over it, move on to a new subject, or move on to finding a taller guy to date.
Saving you time and energy and possibly from getting stuck dating someone with a bad attitude and worse problems over her height.
Remember it’s HER beliefs stopping her and NOT yours.
Having CONFIDENCE and MAKING A WOMAN LAUGH creates enormous amounts of attraction.
You’ll find lots of women will forget all about how tall or short you are when they begin to feel attracted to you.
Use this correctly and you’ll be amazed by how well it works.
You can learn about the “secret formula” in this post:
#4. Bring up the topic early and move on quickly.
If it’s a serious issue for you, feel free to bring up your height in a funny secure way and be done with it.
If it’s something which always seems to be on your mind (especially when you’re on a date or meeting a girl for the first time) then just go ahead and get it off your chest…
Move on to something else quickly.
The point is to indirectly (with a touch of sensibility) show her you ARE SECURE in your height and it’s not something which upsets you.
This is tough but it can be done.
Call a tall girl, “Shorty”.
Tell her you’re worried she may be a little too short for you.
Bust on yourself (lightly) after to show her you’re not just some rude asshole.
If this is a serious hang up for you then “tear off the band aid” quickly and just get it out of the way.
Be secure enough in your height.
NEVER try to prove yourself. NEVER try to make her feel like you’re just doing it because you’re worried she won’t like you for it.
Secure confident men ATTRACT women regardless of their stature.
Insecure, petty, weak-minded, low self-esteem, approval seeking guy do NOT ATTRACT women regardless of how tall or short they are.
And that’s been proven over and over again.
So believe it!
#5 Re-frame your limited beliefs centered around attracting women and being a short guy.
Take a good look around you – notice lots of guys are attracting women and some of those guys ARE shorter than you.
How are they doing it?
Maybe they’re muscle bound and all shredded out. Maybe their better-looking than you. Maybe they have lots of money. Maybe they’re more socially proofed.
What every “reason” you give or try to come up with to explain how it happened or is happening you must admit – they have something which is attracting women.
BUT you’re missing something much more important here and it has NOTHING to do with them having something you might not have.
YOUR FOCUS is on someone else and not YOU.
When you’re more concerned with them, when you are looking to explain it all away – you WILL find and believe any answer your brain will accept as the truth.
The more you do it, the more you believe it, the more you’ll see it, the more those beliefs become a part of you – and the more they will LIMIT yourself from achieving your goals with women or anything in life you want.
Now you must retrain your brain – rid yourself of those limited beliefs so you can begin to think and see more clearly and to finally get over any height issues you may be experiencing in dating.
Here’s the technique with the answers given based on my personal trials of re-framing my own limited beliefs of being a short guy.
How the world sees you or the External State of that belief.
(This is where you insert your belief. It must be something external or outside yourself.)
YOUR BELIEF: You’re too short so women are not attracted to you.
How it makes you feel or the Internal State.
(This is where you write how it makes you feel internally.)
YOUR BELIEF: You don’t feel attractive or good-looking because women only like taller men.
Those two beliefs are connected but they do represent are a false view. They don’t represent the whole picture and relating them to each other is considered a “limited belief”.
Now ask few simple questions about those two statements or beliefs.
Is it true that all women, everywhere, at any given time, are not attracted to a shorter man?
Of course not! There are some incredibly successful and sexy, attractive shorter men everywhere you look.
That statement above can not possibly be true or nature would have weeded out short men long ago. But shorter guys are still here and they do accomplish wonderful feats despite of what some would view as a shortcoming.
Here’s a cool picture from Dr. Nerdlove and the article: 5 Dating Tips For Short Men
And here’s a really cool list of successful short guys:
“Throughout history there have been several men who became famous for being short or whose fame was affected by their height. A classic example is Józef Boruwłaski who toured Europe in part because of his dwarfism. He is not listed here as measurement systems were different in his era leading to some confusion on the height of men of his era.”
If you were a taller man, how would that change your existence, or who would you be if you were born a tall man?
YOUR BELIEF: You would’ve been born more attractive and not suffered through so much not being able to date or attract women.
The truth or non-limited belief.
Flawed thinking again.
How could you ever know what your life would’ve been like if you were a taller guy?
Speculate all you want but knowing something like this is an impossibility.
Also – there are lots of tall guys who unfortunately suck attracting women. You could’ve just easily been one of them. And some of those guys are actually quite good-looking too.
Imagine you are born a tall handsome man and yet you still find yourself struggling to understand women and attracting them seems impossible.
So you see – height is not a guarantee at all.
How will your life be if you continue to think this way?
Thinking this way will certain compound the issues and deeply nest the connections in your brain like they already have, but only worse.
They will link up to other limited beliefs and the problem will get worse and worse until something is done about it.
Your brain knows it can not change it’s height so it finds ways to rationalize your belief system.
Intertwining the false thinking of not feeling attracted to being lonely, not having a girlfriend, not getting a job or promotion, and strangely enough having shorter offspring which in turn will doom their existence to suffer the way you are or did.
You see how all that works and how changing one limited belief in your life can affect so many areas of who you are and how you perceive the world around you.
Your mind will come up with excuses for many different ideas based on ONE belief alone.
It finds a way to explain itself so well that it created a terrible web of deception or blind spots.
Those blind spots were linked to feeling lonely, not being able to get a girlfriend, losing a job or missing a promotion, shorter offspring, and the list goes on and on and on.
This is (if any) a big reason to get control and change your limited belief system about being short.
Can you think of a time in which you did feel attractive despite your height?
Of course you can. I’m sure you’ve had plenty of women come on to you but you didn’t want them, did you?
BUT they were certainly attracted to your despite your height. They saw something in you that they wanted.
You also have NO way of determining just how many women DO find you ATTRACTIVE.
Some of the could even be extremely tall but their own height issues kept them from meeting YOU.
The point is, despite what it feels like, or what you claim to see – there are LOTS of women who WILL and CAN and probably ARE attracted to you right now.
Just because they’re not stripping down naked and banging on your door doesn’t mean they don’t exist.
Be real – you have absolutely no way to prove or disprove something like this making the idea or concept not worth exploring.
On to the next one…
This is where you get in her mind and PRETEND you’re a woman using your height as an excuse to not date you.
From a women’s perspective, “I could never be attracted to a short man because…”
Is she stating that she completely understands her attraction mechanism AND has complete CONTROL over it?
She knows without a doubt, that she will never be attracted to a man of your size because that is the way it has always been for her.
It’s amazing how re-framing quickly reveals another person’s limited belief system too about how they perceive the world around them.
From her perspective and putting yourself in her shoes you can begin to see how faulty her thinking is and no matter how she tries to rationalize it or explain it away – she can NEVER fully conclude that it’s the absolute truth.
Because it’s not.
Her mind would attempt to rationalize it and it would eventually come up with its own explanation for its beliefs.
Re-framing your beliefs on being a shorter guy who feels your height is stopping or blocking you from attracting a woman is a great tool to help you see things DIFFERENTLY.
Rid yourself of the beliefs which are stopping you from achieving success in this area because once again, it’s not your height that’s the real issue – it’s YOUR BELIEF that is holding you back.
You have been shown a ton of material today. Take in all slowly.
Please… for at least one moment today…
Entertain the idea that you CAN attract women despite what you might believe is a shortcoming.
You are NOT vertically challenged!
That statement is total bullshit.
One more GREAT article to help you overcome this “short” thing:
“I recently got asked a question by one of my students: “What if you’re short and she prefers tall guys?”
The way I see it, confidence is one of those things that women often don’t THINK ABOUT being attracted to. Ask a woman what she finds most desirable in a guy, and she might bring up things like height, humor, and a good career … but she’ll almost NEVER say anything about wanting a man with CONFIDENCE.”