Imagine this... You're stuck in a dark room with lots of strangers for an hour and a half or more!

You're with the hottest date of your life but you can't even get that close to her because there's some annoying chunk of metal very loosely called an arm rest (as if it's comfortable or convenient at all) "cock" blocking you.

Maybe you just learned from me how you can "trigger her attraction" with your body language and amazing conversational skills but the rule for the next hour and a half is,

"Sit down and be quiet!!!!"

As if that doesn't suck the big one.

The smell of popcorn is making you sick and you're little pissed off because you're on a date.... and the last thing you want is freaking "popcorn" breath. It kind of smells like rotten eggs and without some serious mouthwash THAT breath isn't going anywhere.

But hey, maybe she'll eat some first...wait... that could mean she doesn't intend to kiss you later... hmmm never though of that one.

Anyways.

You can see her out of the corner of your eye.

Wow!

In the dark she looks even more amazing.

You find yourself even attracted to the curve of her... nose?

For some strange reason it makes you think about her body.

More discreetly her sexy curves.

So you bite your lip, your stomach growls at you, and now even the freaking smell of her hair is reminding you how close you want to get to her.

Half way into the movie your mind has wandered off so many times you can't even remember what you were thinking about.

She looked at you and smiled a couple times so you acted like you were paying attention but really - you're struggling just to keep your eyes open.

You feel lucky enough just to catch your head from falling back and throwing your "sleep" drool against the side of her face. That was a close call. Disaster temporarily averted.

Suddenly as your eyes once again begin to close, something must have happened on the screen, you heard a lot of "awwws"  and your date reaches over to grab your hand and squeezes tight.

As she lets go as you hear a sigh from the strangers around you. You can literally feel the place getting more humid from all the drenched eyes.

You might even feel something yourself but you better NOT shed that tear.

You're a man and this is a date!

Every year around Mid-February "Valentine's Day" movies are drawn or copied from a manufactured "romantic" template.

High priced - hot actors - and a format designed to tug the emotions of even the strongest willed women.

They lure her in and you want to impress her, right?

You want to do something for her because hey, it's Valentine's Day.

Take her to a romantic dinner, a sappy movie, and just maybe you'll earn some "brownie" points.

Think about it what it must mean if she chooses YOU for this special day. She must really like you to go out with you on this "special day".

Okay... here's more of what I think.

I don't care much if anything for Valentines day and I certainly despise those movies even more.

Not because it's become a pre-fabbed holiday or the cause of so much relationship stress, or because the movie trailers are really annoying, or perhaps because the commercials are practically suggesting - you don't have a choice ( haha!!! ) we know - right guys...?

That twinkle in her eye on camera is telling her she has to have "it" but it's really saying to you - "Get it or she won't believe you love her as much as you say you do. Get it or you'll piss her off. Get it or you won't be getting any sex for at least a week up to a month!"

I don't care for Valentines and it's not even for being stuck on the sidelines for so many years while everyone else either dreaded having to be romantic or looked forward to the romance or an escape from their kids.

Hell it's not even because, and I shouldn't share this as my reputation might be at stake...

ME falling for the "just friends" Valentine's day dinner where I paid for it and then dropped her off at some dude's house... so she could  screw him!

(Yeah I've been there. Not one of my most proudest moments.)

Not even for the often dramatizing childhood memory of sitting at my desk waiting... hoping... desperately wanting one stinking card from a "slightly better than the average" girl in school.

Really - why we do we put our children through something like that - it's borderline abuse!

I'm calling it - cruel and unusual punishment!

I think I've moved on from all that. Okay I KNOW I have so all those reasons to hate the holiday are not enough...

NOPE!

I hate Valentine's Day because it only reinforces or advertises an old tired wrong concept of "date" and what a date is supposed to be or what is supposed to happen... which I believe are wrong. I'm not budging or negotiating on it either... wrong.

I'm not innocent - I fell for them too for a while; which is in part a big reason  why I suffered through so many lonely Valentines days over the years.

This is what I now believe:

A real date should never put two people in a position to NOT have fun.

Having to hide behind a table trying not to watch someone you're on a date with -  "masticate" because yeah, that's real sexy stuff there. No fun. Two nervous people trying not to be themselves TOO much.

The dinner date sucks! You know it. She knows it. If everyone knows it then WHY do we people keep going on them. I'm all for tradition but THAT tradition needs to be put to bed.

Then added to the "charm" is the movie part of the date I spoke of in the beginning of this fun positive post.

Stuck in a dark room where nothing really fun is EVER going to happen.

At least at dinner you can get up without bothering everyone else and you're actually sitting across your date - but that doesn't make it any better, does it?

The Movie end might be the lesser of the two evils but it still just the less shittier end of a (...) alright I'm not going to say it.  You know what I was going to say and as strange as it might sound coming from me, some places I just won't go.

What about this "ye-olde" Valentine's day tradition:

Giving her a, yes PRE-MADE card you didnt even write - some flowers - maybe if you're really smart, some chocolate covered strawberries - almost like rewarding her for saying yes like she's some Pavlovian "cliche".

All the while HOPING you'll be rewarded handsomely for your "good" deed when we know for a fact - most are just lucky enough to avoid pissing her off.

But I digress a little...

There's nothing wrong with Valentine's Day so to speak. 

It's what we make of them and I think we CAN do better than flowers, chocolates, some lame card, and dinner with the attached movie.

We're BETTER than that. We really are.

Dating on Valentine's Day also does NOT have to be just another attempt to show her you care. It can be a perfect night to build on what you've hopefully already established with your woman.

In reality - Taking her (or any date) at ANY time to dinner and a movie is just another way to show her - how much you don't understand women AND how you're all too willing to follow in some other guy's footprints and play it safe. Possibly just to get it over with making it really just an "intermission" between the good stuff that happens between men and women.

I'm not coming down on you. Just merely trying to point out the what I see as an obvious flaw in the system.

AND to push you in a better more productive dating direction...

A date should be an experience where learn you about each other in REAL situations.

Which always works better IF you're in a place where interacting AND having fun is built into it.

I personally think women want a story to tell and a date can be a perfect beginning of the story. Start it with a dinner and a movie and what's there to tell?

If you want to "play in the dark" with her why would you want that to happen in theater? I could think of much better places for that to happen so plan more exciting dates that are fun and interactive and it's highly more likely you'll be "in the dark" sooner.

Plan better "experiences" and you (and your date) will have and enjoy dating each other so much more.

You might be reading this too late to plan something real for Valentine's Day but it's okay because you know and I believe MORE dates are certainly in your future.

I'm going to help you plan more exciting dates and if you want to give back...

Tell me YOUR date ideas below, what you feel about Valentine's Day, and of course feel free to throw in your best and worst Valentine's Day stories too. 

Here's what you should do:

Start with my getting a girlfriend free online Ebook on step 9. It's appropriately titled:

Throw Out The Dating Rules Book – Focus On Excitement and Fun

You'll learn how and why you can start making your own dating rules and a lot more.

If you're feeling short on ideas this post I wrote can get the ideas flowing PLUS there are lots of real dating tips too based on the ideas discussed here today:

32 Great Date Places Where To Go and Meet Her Plus 7 Tips On Dating

I didn't write the next one but I was lucky enough to snatch it up from Slade Shaw and it fits perfectly with my ideas and concepts on dating.

Innovative Ideas For Dates She Will Never Forget

This next one was not written by my either but you'll find it explains the dinner/date idea and why you should avoid it from a slightly different perspective.

"DO SOMETHING THAT HAS INTERESTING CONVERSATION AND EXCITEMENT BUILT INTO IT.

Sitting at a dinner table alone with someone you don’t know does NOT fit the bill.

So take a moment to think of 10 things you could do with a woman that cost little or no money but that include possibilities of all kinds of interesting conversation, adventure, excitement."

Don’t Pay For Her Attention! Fun Date Ideas & Better Dating Techniques

Next up... the really easy parts:

Go out and start enjoying your dates.

Tell me YOUR date ideas below, what you feel about Valentine's Day, and of course feel free to throw in your best and worst Valentine's Day stories too.