I was considered a “loser” with women for many years of my life.
They made me unsure of myself.
They made me feel like I was not good enough for them.
They made me feel like no matter what I did to make them happy, I was not better than some “other” guy.
But not one of them ever said I was a “loser.” In fact they said and felt the opposite but that never inspired me to find out why I was failing and how to change it…
PART TWO: “Inspiring a Loser to Succeed with Women“
Maybe it’s because success is in our heads.
It’s a part of who we are based on our core beliefs.
Even at a specific level what I would call success for me differs from what another guy would consider successful.
In turn knowing how to inspire one person may not inspire another.
For example, give an inspiring speech to a hundred people on something you are highly passionate about and wait to see who you inspire.
It may surprise you the few people who were passionate about the same thing you were, were not inspired at all and the few who were inspired and motivated to follow their passion more strongly had little to do with what you were talking about.
We all know you can not force inspiration.
The best you can hope to achieve is to open up a new perspective and allow the light bulb inside their heads to shine brighter.
Encourage hope with a new belief system which just feels right.
A successful story inspires hope and can easily stimulate someones imagination.
When their imagination is kick started they can begin to actually “pre-live” or see themselves as being successful.
What about touch?
A physical connection to the very thing that represents our success.
This is something I’ve struggled with because when it comes to women the touching part is actually part of the success.
Even if it’s just a hug or a soft kiss without a physical connection
some guys will never ever feel successful.
Which would inspire you more?
- Listening to a speech until the end which moved you slightly but them walking away energized with everyone else. Only to lose the “feeling” the next day. Almost like you had to start over everyday and stay motivating.
- Listening to a speech which energizes you but after walking up to that very person to say thanks and to shake their hands? I imagine that hand shake would inspire you well beyond and the feeling would last longer. Because you felt the touch of the very person who inspired you. It made it easier to go back and relive that moment every time you needed a boost.
All this leads me to believe the key ingredients to inspire people are:
Living your life with passion inspires those around you to follow their passions.
They see how good it makes you feel.
They want to feel the same way.
The goal then becomes less about the tangible acquisition and more about fulfilling an emotional desire to be happy.
The human mind is incredible but to really succeed, be inspired, or inspire others stimulating the imagination to go above and beyond our everyday life is an invaluable skill.
And must never be overlooked.
Without the ability to convey your message clearly it’s difficult to inspire those around you.
This includes storytelling with a purpose and advice given in a non-judgmental way. Something I mention in my last post about getting a man to be more loving.
A Physical Connection
Being able to relive a physical moment which first energized them.
A definitive connection to an event which can easily stir emotions which make us feel good about who we are, where we’re going, and create of higher sense of hope.
I believe if you can satisfy those key elements you can inspire more people around you to succeed. Including most men and their relationships with women.
I’ve always been able to throw passion into everything I do.
My imagination has been unstoppable and I’m still amazed in how well my dreams, awake or sleeping, has rewarded me.
But as far as me being a loser with women, I lacked the right communication skills and the confidence of any physical connection.
When I met the first man to inspire me to be successful with women his communication skills were almost perfect, for me.
I truly connected with what he was teaching and it drove me to always push forward. Through him I was able to achieve that first physical connection I can still look back at.
It took me some time to realize what that exact moment was but it’s not what you’re thinking.
It wasn’t sexual at all.
It was a simple open-handed touch on the small of a woman’s back as I lead her in the direction I wanted her to go.
Now that may seem small to some or even pathetic to others but to me it represents a moment in time I can re-live over and over.
You see for the very first time I touched a woman I was not sexually involved with and I finally felt like a truly confident man.
I don’t have all the answers of what inspired me to write this post.
I know it started with a question I couldn’t help but to answer.
It may have even been my selfish needs to learn something someone else wants to know.
I’ll even admit I may have not satisfied all the key elements to inspire every guy who reads this to become successful with women. (Assuming that is how they find this post while asking the right question to get here.)
But I know if you’re a guy who feels like a loser with women…
If women make you feel like I did, or if it seems like they’re the ones making you unsure of who you are or what you’re supposed to do…
How about if you feel like you’re not good enough for them…
And what about if you’re a guy who loves to make women happy, it makes you happy when you’re able make them smile, and yet you feel it only hurts you in finding a girlfriend.
As if women would not rather be happy in their relationships…
Where will your inspiration come from?
I’ll attempt to help you out.
Live your life with passion and you’ll inspire women to enjoy it with you and perhaps ignite their sexual passion for you.
Use your imagination to not only open yourself up to new perspectives but to imagine seeing yourself (very specifically) as who you want to be.
Don’t just see yourself, actually step into that role and expect women will notice.
Your communication skills with women is crucial for success.
And luckily almost anyone can learn them and the exact ones which women find very attractive.
Even intoxicating and stimulating.
Create a positive physical connection to something which first proved to you – “Wow I can not believe how far I’ve come.”
No matter how small or stupid it seems. Connect your confidence to something tangible and something that makes you happy.
Always remember it’s not women who are making you feel that way, it’s not that women are not attracted to guys who love to make them happy, they jut don’t want your life to revolve around them…