Are you a man or a wussy?
A nice guy who attracts women or a nice guy who is way too accommodating? Overly needy towards your date and so intent to do everything (in your power) to gain her approval…
The Inner Wuss: …a character trait of men developed through time that causes them to become submissive around women in order to get their approval…
Borrowed From Wikipedia
In my day “wussy” became the combination of two words, wimp and pussy. I believe it has transcended the meaning of some guy who lacks courage and acts like a girl but when you think about it, the way some of us nice guys interact with women the combination fits a little too good.
When we show courage around women and treat them as equals, we’re acting like a man (who just happens to attract women.)
When we prop her up, do things to gain her approval, respond out of fear that she won’t like us, or even assume her femininity makes her too weak to handle our masculinity, then we’re acting like a wussy.
Acting like a girl, for this case, would be acting like a woman who is feeling attraction beyond a choice. Since it is not reasonable to assume the term “girl” is a weakness we must look look at our actions and how they are feminine to determine if we’re doing it… following intense attraction.
As a nice guy we must also determine what kind of nice guy we are. We can do this by looking at our success with women and then how our actions might have had something to do with it.
For an intelligent and eloquent explanation of the two different types of nice guys read this from Scot McKay –> The Difference Between “Nice” and “Mr Nice Guy” (It’s posted here at DiaLteG TM for a reason. I love it!)
The term “wussy” was secondly introduced to me by my old mentor and teacher David DeAngelo.
David explains it (in longer more related terms in this post –> Why Being Too Nice To Women And Not Understanding Attraction Hurts (Which again is located at DiaLteG TM for its incredible content and the impact this one letter had on my life.)
It takes on a whole new level of meaning when it’s related to being “cocky and funny” and how to respond (attractively) to a woman’s tests.
When we fail her tests because we’re acting like wussies – women tend to feel anything but attracted to us.
This is where my “wussy” test has derived its answers from and I do hope it helps us all react and pass her tests in a way which increases and not destroys the attraction.
If we notice the difference between just being a dick and acting “cocky and funny” the effect on our relationships with women can and will change for the better.
1.) When you are on a date and she says, “Ewww!” as a response to what you are ordering, How do you respond?
- A. Give her a dirty look.
- B. Reply, “You don’t like that? Good. Then you won’t be picking at my plate.”
- C. Ask her why she doesn’t like it.
- D. Order something different so you don’t offend her.
If you chose A , technically, it’d that bad of a response BUT it also might show her you’re not in touch with her. A dirty look may be an indication you take things too seriously. Wussies tend to take ALL acts by a woman much too seriously.
If you chose C it’s not all that bad BUT it might lead to boring conversations about food depending on how you proceed. If you’re extremely good at conversations go for it BUT again it’s not really an attraction creating choice because in some circumstances might give her the idea that “wussy men” care way too much about such a trivial thing.
Choosing D is without a doubt the “weakest” response proving to her you’re a wussy. Worrying too much about what she thinks of you and your habits.
Now I understand not many men will do that exactly so consider what you do after counts too…
If you feel you have offended her or ruined the moment or even believe she’ll like you less because she “disapproves of something you like then this this lack of courage screams “wussy” and you’re more likely to act from that basis on other small things too.
In my opinion the most “attraction creating” answer would be B.
As David puts it, being “cocky” is bad and looks overly confident. Almost like you’re trying to hide your lack of confidence.
BUT if you add a little humor to this cockiness it implicitly states many things:
- You have a sense of humor.
- You’re smart enough to use it the right way.
- You’re ballsy enough to say it.
When you use it sparingly and at the right times it defines you, in her eyes, as a man and definitely not a wussy.
2.)You meet a woman and right away she starts asking you question like, “What do you do for a living?” – “Where do you live?” – “What is your name?” etc… How do you answer her?
- A. Nervously hoping she will like your answers.
- B. Honestly and then ask the same questions.
- C. Politely trying to make each answer seem more exciting than they are.
- D. Respond with humor accusing her of having come up with the questions while she was getting ready that night or even in the bathroom five minutes ago.
If you chose A, first, being a little nervous is okay. Not completely attractive but not a major disqualification depending on the woman and the situation. BUT hoping she will “approve” of your answers only proves to her you’re acting like a wussy thus eliminating a possible attractive creating moment.
Selecting B is not THAT bad but technically it’s boring. You might believe you’re just being a good guy by being honest and showing a genuine interest in her but you just met this woman and its best to create attraction first and then get or give the details later.
Choosing B tends to lead to, “Yeah. It was nice. He was nice. But I’m just not feeling it with him.” Now you can blame her for asking those stupid questions but it’s a test man. How you answer is more important than the answers themselves if you want to pass the test.
If you chose C this is the worst response because not only are you trying to make yourself look better, you’re proving you actually believe your life is boring and needs some form of embellishment. It screams wussy in many different ways one being trying to gain her approval of you and your life.
If you chose D you’re on the right track towards being an attractive man.
Again it’s the cocky-funny response most women love. Even if she doesn’t like the answers and appears upset by them, she’s just raising the stakes because you passed her “man or wussy” test.
Women become easily attracted to guys whose personalities convey confidence and humor. The tests are designed to prove to her without a doubt that’s you. It also keeps her wondering a little more about you which keeps her wanting to know more.
A man shows wit, charm, confidence, and sometimes dry sarcastic humor.
A wussy tries to hide things with a slight of hand or word of mouth to gain her approval. The difference is, one creates attraction and passes her tests. The other destroys it.
3.) You’re out to dinner and your date starts to pout or whine because her food is not cooked to her liking. She then asks you to get the waiter for her and send it back because she feels or implies “that’s your job!” How do you handle it?
- A. Console her. Agree with her. Take care of it.
- B. Call the waiter over and explain the situation.
- C. Look at her with a raised eyebrow and say sarcastically, “Excuse me. Are you going to need me to cut your meat for you too?“
- D. Offer to trade meals with her or some solution to downplay the drama of the situation.
The answer to this question id tough because depending on who you are, where you live, and how you perceive the “dating” process should go can easily affect your response.
I believe there are a few right answers BUT they must come from a state of masculine maturity and not from need or a desperation to appease her or get her to like you.
Choosing A is a wussy move. Consoling a woman who has not suffered any real harm conveys the message you believe she’s weak and can not handle the smaller things in life. Now of course some women can’t so it’s best to know that upfront. But is that the woman you want to date.
This selection however does little to create attraction and you fail her “wussy” test by being over-accommodating which negates the “manly” act of “taking care of it.” It also shows her every time she pouts or whines about something, you’re ready to give in and make things right for her.
If you chose B maybe it is because this is the type of guy you are or the social upbringing you’re used to. Taking charge of the situation calmly also may convey to her you’re not going to get bent over something so trivial AND her mood doesn’t affect you personally.
BUT choosing B because she prefers to pout or whine over standing up for herself AND she expects you to jump when she says to… means you have just failed her “wussy” test.
Choice C seems to work perfect for many reasons. She’s acting childish and unless you call her out on it in a funny confident way she’s likely to see you as a wussy who will bend at her every command. And woman don’t feel much attraction for guys who act that way.
Showing a little sarcastic humor demands and then qualifies her to stand on her own two feet. Something women respect from a guy they might intend to share a bed with. If she ups the test and her mood suddenly shifts negatively then you have every reason to never call her again because it might not be the type of woman you want to date.
Choosing D is just a combination of A and B. It may seem like a logical and creative solution BUT again, giving in to a woman who is obviously acting immature to see your reaction means you’re failing her wussy test.
Creating attraction and passing these simple tests won’t always feel logical but remember you’re not dealing with logic, you’re interacting with a woman who may or may not be aware that how she acts emotionally affects the men around her AND can easily show her who IS the real man, and who IS the wussy.
4.) You’re out with some close friends and happen to meet an attractive woman with a dynamite personality AND you’re hitting it off with her. A few minutes later your friends try to pull you away… What do you do?
- A. Stay with her and blow off you friends.
- B. Tell her it’s been nice talking to her but you have to go.
- C. Get angry with your friends for “cock-blocking” you and motion to them to go away while trying to hide it from her that you’re upset.
- D. Tell her it’s been great and since you have plans tonight exchange numbers to continue at another time.
Yes. I know the answer appears obvious. Choosing D is the best way to go but is it the easiest one to choose?
Think about it… Who says you won’t get mad at your friend. What if you haven’t had sex in a while and you believe it could happen that night. What if your friends ALWAYS seem to cock-block you because they’re jealous or careless?
Remember this is an attractive woman and when you leave, or even while you’re talking to her, fifteen other horny guys (all not wussies) are looking to make their move on her.
Makes the choice that much more difficult, doesn’t it?
But before you decide – Choosing A is a “wussy” move because any woman with any real sense of reality and confidence and choices rarely ever feels something more for a guy who will blow off his close friends after just meeting her.
It screams, “I want to get in your pants so badly. I want to sleep with you tonight!” and since most men she comes in contact with seems to just want her for her body – you’ve just become just like them AND you fail her wussy test.
Selecting B is an option. It tells her you’re confident enough to walk away at the peak of the interaction. It also conveys to her you’re a man who respect his friends enough and doesn’t necessarily need her at that moment.
BUT B, in all its glory, just might tell her you’re not use to this kind of thing. You’re afraid of getting her number. You were not interested in her. You rejected her! So depending on her mood you either the wussy who didn’t have the balls or experience to get her number or you were not feeling attracted to her.
Selection C is obviously a bad choice and it tells her you lack self-esteem. You’re friends are a bunch of pricks. You can’t handle yourself in simple social situations.
You’re a wussy because you’ve proven to her you would give up anything and everything just to be with a woman you just met… Which most intelligent attractive women assume you’re just another guy who is only into her for her body and only want sex.
She didn’t initiate this wussy test but she notices the results anyways.
5.) You’re out with an attractive woman and every guy in the place starts hitting on her. How do you handle it?
- A. Become outwardly angry and jealous and demand to leave the place immediately.
- B. You’re exploring your bisexuality so you ask to her about a threesome.
- C. You don’t say a word trying to ignore the perceived problem. You hope it stops but inside you’re steaming and doing everything you can to hold your anger back.
- D. You give her space. Talk to others. Occasionally you catch her eye just to acknowledge you know what’s going on and how you actually find it amusing.
Again, like the last question, the answer to pass her wussy test and show her you’re a real man is D.
BUT… is it that easy to actually do?
You may not choose A but it might just come out. It says you have inner work to do on your self-esteem. It also will only get you woman who know how to make you angry and her own lack of self-esteem will bring out even more of tests just like this.
Honestly, choosing A will get a few women BUT won’t help you attract a more stable, confident woman who won’t use a test like this on you… ever.
Selecting B is interesting and since it requires you to man up for an experience you want it’s not all that bad. I’ll assume that most women you do meet will not take to this too kindly because they’re just not into being banged by two guys at once.
If you’re not really into other guys AND if you spin a little humor with it, it could work BUT if it’s not something which you’re comfortable doing and she sees that, you fail the wussy test by coming off like you’re trying to hard to hide your jealousy.
Choosing C is an unfortunate wussy move which tends to manifest itself in other “un-attractive” ways. It’s great that you’re in touch with yourself and you recognize it’s happening and you know it’s a bad thing but keep in mind, an experienced attractive woman will further her tests later on to bring out the real you.
You might be powerless at that point to resist and hold back your jealousy and anger and suddenly become TYPE A.
On the other side there are lots of great women who will respect your ability to control yourself. They will understand and they might never hold it against you.
BUT for most it gives her every reason to believe you’re inexperienced around attractive women and you’ve given her every reason to assume you’re more than just interested in her therfore, depending on the timing and how many dates you’ve been on, won’t challenge her at all to feel more attracted.
Choice D is by far the best response to assure you pass this wussy test.
- Giving her space conveys your confidence.
- Catching her eye and acknowledging you know what is happening hints you have experience in this area and are very socially aware.
- Becoming amused at it all shows how in control you are and how you can make light of a situation in where most of her other dates get mad. It separates you from the other wussy responses she might be use to.
Creating attraction seems to come down to how we respond to her tests and appear to have little to do with us being nice guys.
Whether we act like a wussy or a man can easily help us do the right thing without compromising our good and purely natural desires to attract women.
These and many more were brought to me by first reading this book –> Double Your Dating and then by experiencing it all though lots of trials and errors. It didn’t happen over night but it also didn’t take an enormous amount of inner work to change the nature of my relationships with women.
Hopefully by reading this today we can gain a better (healthier) perspective to attraction and how by just tweaking a few of our responses can begin to easily pass any wussy test a woman gives us.
We can make light of it all, handle it with humor, a confident and sometime cocky and funny attitude with the full understanding we only touched on the surface and with so much more to keep our eyes out for, leads us to explore ALL our options…
To excite us enough to want to learn more on how to use this stuff positively and never against a woman wishes in a negative way.
Wussy tests are real and all of us are at some time, depending on how we naturally respond, a man or a wussy. Nice guy or not.
Click through for Part 2 – 4 answers to my personality test, “Are you a man or a wussy?” Part Two