A friend told me he saw this incredible woman at a pool the other day and he pissed because he didn’t start a conversation with her.
All he and his buddy talked about was how hot she was.
They’re “excuse” for failing to approach was typical, they did not know what to say!
Listen guys, a big problem in the approach is also a problem for women too. You’re not alone. Most of them go through the same thing.
Men… keeping the conversation lively and progressive or going somewhere.
Women… their ability to keep the guy interested and make it easy for him to be himself.
Like my friend, there are groups of men everywhere that feel they need a pickup line to start a conversation with an attractive woman. They feel she will not give him the time of the day if he doesn’t come up with something unique and exciting.
There are also lots and lots of women who just don’t know how to get a guy to really open up his true self to her. They make it difficult on him by not being fun and flirty. She will often engage him in questions that are boring and typical.
I feel like I should mention both men and women in this post because I am constantly hearing similar complaints:
“Why won’t she make it easy on me?”
“Why can’t he just be himself?”
Conversations happen ALL the time.
If you go out, work a for a living, play online, you have conversations and if you are at all socially adapted you know how to speak.
Why should this be any different when it comes to people you are attracted to?
Well if it’s not a lack of personality then it is a fear of failure. I hate to use the old, “putting others on a pedestal” but that is exactly what you do.
When men and women give away their status to another based upon looks or reputation, they are giving up their own attractive self and handing a big piece of it to who they are attracted towards.
Think of attraction as energy and when you hand over yours to others, you are giving up yours and you will be seen as less attractive.
So don’t do it!
Here are 4 great tips on talking to women and starting a conversation:
1. Get it out of your head that you have to wow a woman to start a conversation with her.
You can sit there and come up with the greatest opening line ever and still get shot down. I
t could be the way you are using it and who you are using it on. She suspects you have motives beyond starting a conversation.
Trust me guys, “Hi.” or “Hey” works more often than you would believe.
Follow these simple tips and stop trying to “wow” her:
- Be slightly unique. ( Just stay away from trying to be different. )
- Be creative.
- Be passionate.
- Lead the conversation but allow her to contribute.
2. A conversation is just a conversation.
I can not emphasize how important that is.
You have no idea who this woman is. Sure you might be attracted to her but she could let you down within three minutes.
Always keep in mind when you begin to talk to her your goal is to start a conversation. That’s it.
This will ease the pressure you might feel.
It will also make her feel more comfortable talking to you when she gets the impression you are not looking to see how quickly you can get in her pants.
3. Learn to love talking with women.
Most guys forget about this doing this.
If you don’t like to talk to women how are you going to enjoy a conversation with her?
And how will she enjoy talking to you?
I do this by leading the conversation into an area which I am passionate about. I don’t ask boring questions. I am sincere. I don’t fake it.
If our conversation keeps going in the direction of her just talking about nothing, I end it there.
If I am not interested in what she is saying…I’ll either change the subject quickly or move on even quicker.
4. Stay in the context of your surroundings.
If you are at a bar, don’t get into a deep conversation about her life.
If you are at a grocery store don’t walk up and ask her how her day is going.
The point of this tip is to be aware of your surroundings and use them to your advantage and not to your disadvantage.
Be careful though and don’t be too obvious.
Stay away from saying something every other guy might.
Be a little different.
Show some creativity.