4 Reasons Why You Meet A Girl & She Quickly Mentions Her Boyfriend

Man Meeting Woman

Here's the situation. You're talking to a woman when all of a sudden she mentions she has a boyfriend.

What really sucks is that...

You didn't ask her if she was seeing someone.

You didn't ask her out on a date.

You didn't even ask for her phone number.

In fact, as far as you know, you didn't even show ANY interest in dating her at all.

But some reason she decided to throw out,

"Me and my boyfriend..."

"When my boyfriend does that..."

"Ohhh... My boyfriend loves that song..."

"My boyfriend has that same problem..."

Here's all the reasons why some women feel the need to mention their boyfriend more than just casually:

  1. She hasn't been in any or many previous relationships.
  2. She's testing you.
  3. She's rejecting you preemptively.
  4. She's playing a very bad game.

1. She hasn't been in any or many previous relationships.

The reality of her situation is that she was single for so long, when she finally hooks up with a guy - her life begins to revolve around him and the relationship too.

Who could blame her for NOW wanting to talk about him all the time?

Consider yourself one of the unfortunate "lucky" guys who now gets to hear it all, as if she's on an endless loop of boyfriend mouth vomit.

If this is happening to you often but you're not sure if this reason explains your unlucky streak, ask her some questions to reveal how relationship experienced she actually is.

The point is to either confirm the truth, or look at another reason below.

Since this one can not be easily fixed without going to the dark side and trying to get her to cheat on him, which I know you don't want or you wouldn't and don't belong here...

Smile, give it a minute or two, and politely excuse yourself.

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2. She's testing you.

This reason can go two ways:

One - She actually does have a boyfriend but is not invested too much in the relationship or is looking for a way out, and might be open to cheating on him. (Covered in detail below in reason four)

Two - She's giving you a very classic test to gauge your interest in her, and to see how confidently and skillfully attractive you handle her test.

ALL women test men.

Yes, I know - this style of testing sucks.  This type of testing is typically done by the "hotter" women because they get hit on a lot by guys whose methods are typically terrible.

This test is an efficient way of getting a guy to go away quickly.

It's also highly effective in getting you to reveal a brand of confidence you can not fake and to judge your ability to perform an attractive version of persistence.

"Persistence is NOT simply a matter of bugging the shit out of a woman. It is not – NOT taking no for an answer either.

Persistence can be a very attractive trait but how it’s related to creating attraction is often misunderstood. It’s definitely not trying to convince a woman to feel something for you and give up her contact information…

It’s the most attractive to women when it’s used as an approach to life.

It’s about being relentless in overcoming any challenges or setbacks.

IF you can prove that to a woman with charm and wit in a very indirect way – which is going to be tough  – you can certainly reverse the causal rejection as it relates to getting her number or getting her to go out on a date with you."

If A Girl Or Woman Rejects You, Is There Still A Chance?

Attractive persistence in this sense is simple a matter of humbly accepting her boyfriend test and continuing to speak with her long enough to show you don't get scared away so easily like some "other" might.

Keeping in mind - this is ONLY appropriate and works if it was a test she gave you.

Here are two relevant pages to read so you can be ready to pass ALL her tests:

Can a Girl Use Another Guy to Test You?

Understanding A Woman’s Test and How To Pass Them

3. She is letting you know, while trying to be nice about it, that there is NO chance you two are EVER getting together.

She may or may not have a boyfriend but she hates turning down guys. She wants to be nice and to feel good about herself. So yeah - it's mostly about her and not you.

She understands most men who hear about her boyfriend and have other plans in mind, getting her number or asking her out for date - they will back down almost immediately and give up.

But she also knows a guy who is worth the extra effort won't give in so easily. He'll either step up to her challenge or ignore it completely. This is what was covered in the last reason - she's testing you.

If you are being rejected often by this method:

Go to the links in the last reason  and learn how to pass her tests.

Study your approach to women and how you're starting conversations with them.

Work on the first impressions you are giving them because you could be rejecting yourself before you even open your mouth.

4. She is playing a VERY bad game.

Who knows - maybe she's interested in you and wants to find out several things about you:

  • Does her having a boyfriend actually matter to you?
  • Are you the type of guy who would willingly date a woman who is in a relationship?
  • Would you allow her to pass blame on to you and let her cheat on her boyfriend?

Would be willing to allow her to cheat on her boyfriend? And yes I mean...  Allow her!

Some women never like to take the "cheating" blame so she'll expect you to take the blame so she can tell her boyfriend,

"I'm sorry. I don't know what happened. I didn't mean to do it."

Are you the type of guy who would willingly date a woman who is in a relationship?

You must admit, if you follow through by flirting with her and escalating it further, she's going to know quickly that you are EXACTLY the type of guy who doesn't care to be the other guy - as long as you're getting some.

Her end game may be simply to prove something to herself about guys, whether you'd make a good friend or even worth talking to, OR because she IS feeling something for you and is not ready to break off her current relationship.

Does her having a boyfriend actually matter to you?

This one can go several ways.

One - if her boyfriend doesn't seem to matter that much to you, then she could safely assume you're not interested in dating her - that you're just being a good guy who likes to chat and talk to people, not just women.

Two - as mentioned above, she's definitely into you and she wants to know quickly if you're willing to overlook her relationship status... just in case.


There are many situations where women will play number 4...  A very bad game, and certain types who will play this role.

FIRST SITUATION: She might be question her relationship status but is faithful.

She probably met you before she hooked up with him, but she had her eye on you or for some reason it never happened. She is faithful but is now questioning herself and her choice in him.

She is confused and will more than likely, no matter what you do, stay with her man. However you will always pop up in her mind, and if you stay close, as flirty friends, there is a chance you'll hook up later on...

If and only if her relationship fails AND you don't discuss that relationship with her.

SECOND SITUATION:  She definitely wants out of her current relationship.

She doesn't care how it happens just as long she does not feel responsible for it. You can easily become her excuse, if you're willing to take charge and are willing to make it happen.

Would I suggest this type of girl for you?

Probably not.

But you know what?

Just because a woman is playing a bad game doesn't make her a bad woman.

Don't get me wrong, most of the time it does mean she won't be much of a girlfriend, and more likely to cheat on you too, but I always try to keep in mind that women are just like every other human running around this planet...

Sometimes we do things, especially bad things, because it's all we know how to do that will get quick, sometimes easy results.

Mind you I didn't say drama-free results.

For some women this may be the only way she knows how to get out of a relationship and there's always a high probability that she hates being alone and goes from one relationship to another.

Let's say you DO like a girl who mentions her boyfriend... You are interested in her and you're looking for advice on how to get around it.

Personally I would start with,

"Oh you have boyfriend. Wow. What kind of man would put up with such a pain in the ass like you? Haha!"s

Or something along those line to get her "juices" flowing because that is what kind of "ass" I typically am.

It's called the cocky comedy approach and when done right and skillfully of course because it's too easy to come off as an arrogant prick.

You can learn more about that method on this page:

Cocky Comedy - The Difference  Being Confident & Acting Like a Jerk

Another choice is to completely ignore her words.

Assume she is telling the truth and take it from there.

Just remember though, if you play into her test and she begins to talk freely about her relationship you, will be entering the friends zone very quickly with little chance to ever be anything more in the future when or if her current relationship fails.

Since this is about what YOU want... If you don't want to settle for a friendship you must not allow that to happen, and if it does:

End it there and walk away and/or say,

"Listen. I know you like to talk about your man a lot. But I'm just not interested in going there with you. I'm fun to hang out with. We have a great time but I'm just not willing to be your counselor at this time. I'm sure you have plenty of friends you can confide in and if you want to continue what we have, go to them for it, not me."

Just be honest and upfront and be willing to walk away before a deeper friendship happens.

You have to keep the "in the future attitude" with her and leave it there because you never know what's going to happen later on.

Relationships end all the time.

Date around and keep her in your "que" so in case something goes wrong and if you're still single, you'll have the option to date her.

If you let it go and become close friends with her - there's little chance she will ever see you as more than a friend in the future.

The lesson in today's post comes down to:

Knowing the reasons why women immediately mention their boyfriend when you first meet.

Understanding that it could be a test and an easy one to pass.

Realizing that it could be a preemptive rejection if she's not interested in you at all.

Learning what to do IF you are interested in her and still want to stay close to  her, just in case her relationship doesn't work out.

Understanding why you should NOT remain close if you want something more with her IF  the relationship falls apart. You could just as easily end up in her friends zone unable to ever get out.

PLUS the added reason that if she is telling the truth - you must NOT become the reason she cheats on her boyfriend.

Learning the different types of women who play games or might use you as an excuse to cheat on her boyfriend BUT that's it's rare.

Most women, under normal circumstances mention their boyfriend early on for the simple reason that they spend so much time together they find it impossible to talk about anything else.

Whether you take offense to that or don't like it - you have every option to walk away or just not talk to her anymore.

IF you think she's rejecting you with an excuse - there are ways around it but first you must look at your early interactions with women so you can stop it from happening again.

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Dave here (…) I never put it use in my social life probably because I was raised to believe only “sluts” want sex and who wants a slut, right? Right now she is looking pretty good. LOL (…)  making me feel better about many things I just wanted to say I am glad I accidentally ran across your site and to say Thank You and keep up the good work. 

Thank You again your awesome and your teachings are also, Dave Allen

About the author: Peter White – I know a few things about life, dating, attraction, & relationships. It feels great to share & also helps pay some bills. Get in touch, become a member, and hope you get something useful out of it all.

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The article is posted in these Categories: Conversation – Talking – The Skills of Attractive Vocal Communication, Women Will Forever Test You – Pass Them Easily & You Will Attract Her

Leave a Comment

11 comments… add one
  • Well Then..

    It’s funny. I had to look for this situation online because it really has started getting to me over the past few years. Believe it or not, the only way it ever comes off to me is, as something negative, for the simple fact that 9 out of 10 times, I’m not flirting with a woman and for the times that I do, it’s really just to learn her a bit.. sort of like an interaction test lol. Then if everything seems cool, I might ask her out, but that’s STILL just on a friendship type level. Believe me, to be considered as a woman I would take it to girlfriend level is serious. I’m not kissing or touching on a woman because she’s cute. Takes more than that.
    Next, I think that a lot of these women have literally worked themselves into some type of delusion. It’s almost as if they want to have the chance to reject you before you reject them, which makes 0 sense because in my case at least, I probably wasn’t hitting on them in the first place.
    In a similar instance women have dropped the “my son, my daughter, my kids” bomb on me casually. To me, that means only one thing. It means they are putting what makes most young guys run, on the table to see if I would still be interested. I actually think that’s a great way to handle it. No pressure, just truth leaving room for choice.
    As far as the topic of the post. Women need to start waking up and realizing they shouldn’t always do what their friends say as far as men. They shouldn’t read relationship books about playing games with men etc etc why? Because they are wrong and will leave you lonely and having to settle for a guy you really don’t even want to be with. IMO very few of these women, are just soo proud of their boyfriend that they need to tell the world. Not buying it.

  • AnonymousAndy

    I’m a straight white male, 33, 6’2″ 260Lbs, large frame and for lack of a better term, a jellyfish. Because I don’t fornicate or hit on any girl / woman. In simple exchanges at the store with a girl I will always hear MY BOYFRIEND in some way. It’s always segued into the conversation. Never from a come on. I merely speak when spoken to and then MY BOYFRIEND! Meh…

  • AnonymousAndy

    I for one am sick and god damn tired of a girl or woman who immediately mentions a “boyfriend”
    It’s as simple as going into a store and buying something and making simple NOTHING conversation IF she continues talking to me. I never just start telling a strange girl about my day or who I am. I simply reply to what is said to me and before I know it, I hear, yeah me and my boyfriend or yeah a my boyfriend really likes this too. Understand this. I’m Asexual. But they don’t know that. I could be gay for all she knows yet she always ALWAYS drops MY BOYFRIEND at some point during the brief exchange. Even worse is going to a store I frequent and here my boyfriend when I ask a price or of something is in stock… Girls, just stfu when at work or when in public. Don’t smile or feign interest. Not all guys are out to screw you.

    • I hear you man. It can be upsetting but why let it get to you? You do your thing, let her do her thing. If she’s in that world – what’s the big deal to you? Getting angry over something like this (obviously) points to other issues you’re having or else it would piss you off.

      Yes, not all guys are out to screw these women but since you are not privy to her world and what she’s been or gone through – don’t take it so personal man. Trust it will make a lot easier and less stressful too.

  • I found this article because I have the reverse problem–guys suddenly dropping their girlfriend or partner in the conversation.

    I like talking with people from a variety of backgrounds, so yes, sometimes guys do assume that I’m talking to them because I’m interested in dating them, when the reality is I like to make new friends, or sometimes I’m just being polite. I think that both genders mention that they have a boy or girlfriend because it’s a non-confrontational way of saying, “don’t go there” that doesn’t hurt anyone’s feelings. (Unless you learn later on that they’re lying. Then that kind of sucks.) From my perspective though, it does get annoying when your intentions weren’t anything more than friendship or politeness, i.e. drawing someone who is alone into the conversation at a party or waving a quick hello to a neighbour when you see them at the supermarket.

    I agree with Johnny though, sometimes people do just mention their boyfriend or girlfriend because they care about them and want the whole world to know how amazing that person is–and unless you approached the person with the intention of dating them, this is the healthiest assumption to make.

    • Thanks for sharing Kathryn. My girlfriend tells me all the time… 🙂

      You’re making me wonder how many guys mention their fake girlfriend because their are trying to make themselves more attractive. Kind of using the old “girlfriend” trick to make you believe they’re a sought out man hoping you’ll take the bait.

      On a side note – love your fish.

  • Good points Johnny. It just goes to show you how many reasons a women will all of a sudden mention she has a boyfriend.

    And how it so much of it depends on who she is, how you are with women, and
    how some women are so deeply in love they can not help but to tell the world about him.

  • johnny cakes

    Mostly women mention their boyfriends as a defence mechanism, either she feels you are attracted to her or are getting too close, or she is trying to make you jealous to ascertain how you feel about her because she is unsure. The second one is usually if she has some level of attraction towards you. The guy who mentions this above shows this context, she was happy to be friends with you but quickly mentioned her boyfriend so you didn’t get the wrong impression about her friendliness. Don’t take this personally, girls have to do this to stop a ton of guys from asking them out all the time.
    The only women who have ever mentioned their boyfriends to me were either trying to make me jealous/make themselves appear desirable, or trying to establish boundaries, or were just female players trying to play mind games. Also lets not be so cynical and forget that maybe she talks about her boyfriend because she just really loves him.

  • dave

    yeah this is the ting that pisses me off the most… at a new job few yrs ago (i was 20 at the time) and sitting oppositte a woman who was like 28 just talking.. and i had no interest in pulling her at all. I mean i wouldnt even expect to due to the age difference and so on! And she mentioned a boyfriend literally within about 5 minutes of talking to her. and it was in the most pathetic way ever… I think she said something like “we went to the barbeque in my boyfriends car” lol. I mean why would you say that? You would say.. we went to the barbeque… or.. we went to the barbeque in a car… it is just funny that she said in the boyfriends car.

    But what annoys me tho is in a way it kind of under mines me as a person. Its as if she is saying ‘the only reason your talking to me is because you want to sleep with me’. Which isnt the case.. and it annoys me. A part of me thinks.. be positive – she sees you as a threat so has to mention her boyfriend, which in a way is like a compliment. But on the other hand i also think it annoys me as it under mines me as a person really. I was tempted to say something back like.. i went to the local shop (….with my girlfriend) just to do it back to her.

    and anotehr time recently me and my friend were walking back from a nigh out on town and a girl started asking to use my phone to ring her friends as she lost them.. then she started saying how she was in the pub with her friends.. and her boyfriend. And then started mentioning her boyfriend almost eery 3 sentences. but what makes me laugh is me and my friend both thought she was nice.. but she wanted something from us. SHe was clearly trying to get money for a taxi or something… But again it was like – oh well, dont mention your boyfriend then you stupid bitch lol then we may have given you money. But.. as you seem to insist on mentioning your boyfriend.. see ya later and enjoy walking home!

    My final point is.. both these women were ‘ok’. Not stunning.. but youd give em one. And anyway the girl we met in town had a fat ass. And as far as im concered.. im not the one stuck with a girlfriend with a fat ass, so over all, im happy

    • Carlos

      I feel annoyed with that too! I don’t show it, but when it happens all of a sudden the way it happened to you I:

      1- just ignore the girl and go find someone else to talk to.
      2- just ignore the fact she mentioned her mate as though she had not even mentioned him and keep talking about whatever we were talking about.

      I dont know, I think it can be women’s deffense mechanism working but I don’t think we (men) are on all the time trying to hit on them. I think with that, that women are so pretentious thinking that we are willing to get into their pants all the time… and it’s not like that, life is not just sex and they should be aware of that.
      Depending on the girls personality my n°1 makes her come after me or just reciprocate. Any of both is okay with me.
      On the n°2, which is the most effective, makes her open up to you… or at least happens to me…

      Anyway, I believe this deifying women society makes them feel desired all the time and that couldn’t be further from the truth…