What really sucks is that...
You didn't ask her if she was seeing someone.
You didn't ask her out on a date.
You didn't even ask for her phone number.
In fact, as far as you know, you didn't even show ANY interest in dating her at all.
But some reason she decided to throw out,
"Me and my boyfriend..."
"When my boyfriend does that..."
"Ohhh... My boyfriend loves that song..."
"My boyfriend has that same problem..."
Here's all the reasons why some women feel the need to mention their boyfriend more than just casually:
- She hasn't been in any or many previous relationships.
- She's testing you.
- She's rejecting you preemptively.
- She's playing a very bad game.
1. She hasn't been in any or many previous relationships.
The reality of her situation is that she was single for so long, when she finally hooks up with a guy - her life begins to revolve around him and the relationship too.
Who could blame her for NOW wanting to talk about him all the time?
Consider yourself one of the unfortunate "lucky" guys who now gets to hear it all, as if she's on an endless loop of boyfriend mouth vomit.
If this is happening to you often but you're not sure if this reason explains your unlucky streak, ask her some questions to reveal how relationship experienced she actually is.
The point is to either confirm the truth, or look at another reason below.
Since this one can not be easily fixed without going to the dark side and trying to get her to cheat on him, which I know you don't want or you wouldn't and don't belong here...
Smile, give it a minute or two, and politely excuse yourself.
You'll find all the tools and skills needed to approach plus meet lots of other women right here at your favorite site DiaLteG™:
2. She's testing you.
This reason can go two ways:
One - She actually does have a boyfriend but is not invested too much in the relationship or is looking for a way out, and might be open to cheating on him. (Covered in detail below in reason four)
Two - She's giving you a very classic test to gauge your interest in her, and to see how confidently and skillfully attractive you handle her test.
ALL women test men.
Yes, I know - this style of testing sucks. This type of testing is typically done by the "hotter" women because they get hit on a lot by guys whose methods are typically terrible.
This test is an efficient way of getting a guy to go away quickly.
"Persistence is NOT simply a matter of bugging the shit out of a woman. It is not – NOT taking no for an answer either.
Persistence can be a very attractive trait but how it’s related to creating attraction is often misunderstood. It’s definitely not trying to convince a woman to feel something for you and give up her contact information…
It’s the most attractive to women when it’s used as an approach to life.
It’s about being relentless in overcoming any challenges or setbacks.
IF you can prove that to a woman with charm and wit in a very indirect way – which is going to be tough – you can certainly reverse the causal rejection as it relates to getting her number or getting her to go out on a date with you."
Attractive persistence in this sense is simple a matter of humbly accepting her boyfriend test and continuing to speak with her long enough to show you don't get scared away so easily like some "other" might.
Keeping in mind - this is ONLY appropriate and works if it was a test she gave you.
Here are two relevant pages to read so you can be ready to pass ALL her tests:
3. She is letting you know, while trying to be nice about it, that there is NO chance you two are EVER getting together.
She may or may not have a boyfriend but she hates turning down guys. She wants to be nice and to feel good about herself. So yeah - it's mostly about her and not you.
She understands most men who hear about her boyfriend and have other plans in mind, getting her number or asking her out for date - they will back down almost immediately and give up.
But she also knows a guy who is worth the extra effort won't give in so easily. He'll either step up to her challenge or ignore it completely. This is what was covered in the last reason - she's testing you.
If you are being rejected often by this method:
Go to the links in the last reason and learn how to pass her tests.
Work on the first impressions you are giving them because you could be rejecting yourself before you even open your mouth.
4. She is playing a VERY bad game.
Who knows - maybe she's interested in you and wants to find out several things about you:
- Does her having a boyfriend actually matter to you?
- Are you the type of guy who would willingly date a woman who is in a relationship?
- Would you allow her to pass blame on to you and let her cheat on her boyfriend?
Would be willing to allow her to cheat on her boyfriend? And yes I mean... Allow her!
Some women never like to take the "cheating" blame so she'll expect you to take the blame so she can tell her boyfriend,
"I'm sorry. I don't know what happened. I didn't mean to do it."
Are you the type of guy who would willingly date a woman who is in a relationship?
You must admit, if you follow through by flirting with her and escalating it further, she's going to know quickly that you are EXACTLY the type of guy who doesn't care to be the other guy - as long as you're getting some.
Her end game may be simply to prove something to herself about guys, whether you'd make a good friend or even worth talking to, OR because she IS feeling something for you and is not ready to break off her current relationship.
Does her having a boyfriend actually matter to you?
This one can go several ways.
One - if her boyfriend doesn't seem to matter that much to you, then she could safely assume you're not interested in dating her - that you're just being a good guy who likes to chat and talk to people, not just women.
Two - as mentioned above, she's definitely into you and she wants to know quickly if you're willing to overlook her relationship status... just in case.
There are many situations where women will play number 4... A very bad game, and certain types who will play this role.
FIRST SITUATION: She might be question her relationship status but is faithful.
She probably met you before she hooked up with him, but she had her eye on you or for some reason it never happened. She is faithful but is now questioning herself and her choice in him.
She is confused and will more than likely, no matter what you do, stay with her man. However you will always pop up in her mind, and if you stay close, as flirty friends, there is a chance you'll hook up later on...
If and only if her relationship fails AND you don't discuss that relationship with her.
SECOND SITUATION: She definitely wants out of her current relationship.
She doesn't care how it happens just as long she does not feel responsible for it. You can easily become her excuse, if you're willing to take charge and are willing to make it happen.
Would I suggest this type of girl for you?
But you know what?
Just because a woman is playing a bad game doesn't make her a bad woman.
Don't get me wrong, most of the time it does mean she won't be much of a girlfriend, and more likely to cheat on you too, but I always try to keep in mind that women are just like every other human running around this planet...
Sometimes we do things, especially bad things, because it's all we know how to do that will get quick, sometimes easy results.
Mind you I didn't say drama-free results.
For some women this may be the only way she knows how to get out of a relationship and there's always a high probability that she hates being alone and goes from one relationship to another.
Let's say you DO like a girl who mentions her boyfriend... You are interested in her and you're looking for advice on how to get around it.
Personally I would start with,
"Oh you have boyfriend. Wow. What kind of man would put up with such a pain in the ass like you? Haha!"s
Or something along those line to get her "juices" flowing because that is what kind of "ass" I typically am.
It's called the cocky comedy approach and when done right and skillfully of course because it's too easy to come off as an arrogant prick.
You can learn more about that method on this page:
Another choice is to completely ignore her words.
Assume she is telling the truth and take it from there.
Just remember though, if you play into her test and she begins to talk freely about her relationship you, will be entering the friends zone very quickly with little chance to ever be anything more in the future when or if her current relationship fails.
Since this is about what YOU want... If you don't want to settle for a friendship you must not allow that to happen, and if it does:
End it there and walk away and/or say,
"Listen. I know you like to talk about your man a lot. But I'm just not interested in going there with you. I'm fun to hang out with. We have a great time but I'm just not willing to be your counselor at this time. I'm sure you have plenty of friends you can confide in and if you want to continue what we have, go to them for it, not me."
Just be honest and upfront and be willing to walk away before a deeper friendship happens.
You have to keep the "in the future attitude" with her and leave it there because you never know what's going to happen later on.
Relationships end all the time.
Date around and keep her in your "que" so in case something goes wrong and if you're still single, you'll have the option to date her.
If you let it go and become close friends with her - there's little chance she will ever see you as more than a friend in the future.
The lesson in today's post comes down to:
Knowing the reasons why women immediately mention their boyfriend when you first meet.
Understanding that it could be a test and an easy one to pass.
Realizing that it could be a preemptive rejection if she's not interested in you at all.
Learning what to do IF you are interested in her and still want to stay close to her, just in case her relationship doesn't work out.
Understanding why you should NOT remain close if you want something more with her IF the relationship falls apart. You could just as easily end up in her friends zone unable to ever get out.
PLUS the added reason that if she is telling the truth - you must NOT become the reason she cheats on her boyfriend.
Learning the different types of women who play games or might use you as an excuse to cheat on her boyfriend BUT that's it's rare.
Most women, under normal circumstances mention their boyfriend early on for the simple reason that they spend so much time together they find it impossible to talk about anything else.
Whether you take offense to that or don't like it - you have every option to walk away or just not talk to her anymore.
IF you think she's rejecting you with an excuse - there are ways around it but first you must look at your early interactions with women so you can stop it from happening again.
- The Secret Dark Side Of Women - Sex, Cheating, Being Approached By Men
- Understanding A Woman’s Test and How To Pass Them
- How To Make A Great Impression On Her – 12 Things Women Look For In A Guy
- The Benefits Of Becoming Friends With Hotter Women
- How To Be Indifferent & How Indifference Attracts Women When Done Right