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Insecurity and Mouth Vomit – It’s Not Attractive to Judge Their Decision

in Be Attractive Guy, Growing
Seeing Ourselves In Others Is Very Unattractive

If you have ever bragged or talked about someone behind their backs, even out of frustration, then you found one guaranteed way to decrease your natural ability to attract.

You’re going to hear how I’ve done it.

Not the details but what it means to me and my never ending journey to find the most attractive person inside.

I do hope you can learn from my mistakes and resist the temptation to engage in a self-indulgent act which does little to help those around you and even less to help yourself.

No lie. The high from it can feel good but it never lasts and leaves us feeling much worse.

Just like all “approval seeking games” the results are not always obvious until the damage is done.

I screwed up recently. It took me a while to realize it but it happened.

At the height of my “quick high” I was unable to see the connection because for a few hours I was actually in a great mood. More than my usual positive vibe.

Why was I in this great mood?

It was the false sense of security I got from putting another person down. I was judging someone.

I was predicting “his” outcome based on my observation. Which even if you’re right is totally besides the point.

I judged a man for a decision he made which we all must admit, are his and his only to make. Who are we to tell anyone else they’re wrong because they’re only acting in their best interest.

The false sense of security came from a quick emotional high I got from giving in to temptation or opening my mouth when it should have stayed shut.

You see I don’t mind telling people what’s on my mind. Lots of my closest friends respect my honesty.

But when I overstep my bound and judge someone based solely on THEIR decisions… I’m wrong. Now I must learn to deal with the consequences.

I can’t turn back the clock.

I can’t predict the consequences for my actions.

I can only take responsibility and deal with them in a mature way.

In order for me to grow from this experience and avoid any future “mouth vomit” I must look back at my life to find the root of the problem…

Could it be the need to “validate” overcame my intuition?

There’s certainly some truth to that.

For me however validation does not seem to be much of an issue.

So probably not.

Could it be the intense feelings of a deeper rapport with someone and not exactly knowing how to do it without “mouth vomit”?


If you knew exactly how to gain easy rapport with someone who is attracted to you, there is little chance you will resort to giving in to your temptations.

You wouldn’t be tempted much. You could just be.

So that’s not the answer to the problem.

Could it be a need to be right or to explain my own failures?

You know I’m going to have to go with this one because it just feels right.

  • I felt I was failing because I got impatient
  • I went looking for an excuse and found the answer right in front of me.
  • My mind was tuned into someone else’s life and I noticed all the signs.
  • My intelligent  mind was in tune with the world around me and how other people interact.
  • I saw a part of myself in someone else.

The last one, seeing myself in someone else is certainly the biggest reason.

My failure was all in my head. When I saw someone else acting in a way I’ve seen before, ( and exactly the way I would’ve acted before myself ) my insecurity of losing in a similar way brought back up deep feelings of failure and disparity.

And I didn’t want someone else to suffer the same fate.

But that’s not my job.

It’s NOT MY responsibility to save the world and everyone in it.

I can only be the best I can be and hope I inspire the best in others.

And judging someone because of their decisions, good or bad, is not even close to being the best I can be.

About the author: Creator of the nice guy approach, why do guys, why do chics, and DiaLteG TM. Transformed from a nice guy kiss ass who wanted women to like me for “who I was” to an attractive “good guy” who knows what it takes to create attraction and succeed with women, dating, and relationships.

Please visit all my pages: The Nice Guy Approach | The Approach | Why Do Guys…? | Why Do Chics…? OR Like my Facebook fan pages: Why Do Chics…? | DiaLteG TM OR JOIN the best group on women at Why Do Chics…?. Yes, I’m a very busy guy. 🙂 Oh… I almost forgot Twitter – Peter White.

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