Do you feel like just another "nice guy" trudging your ass home from a day or night out... Alone, tired, and frustrated.
Did you see one more jerk steal the girl you had your eyes on?
Did you talk to her first but nothing came from it? You didn't even get her number or Facebook profile to put in your phone for later?
And then you later watch her leave with some dude who acted like an asshole!
You often get pissed off wondering why any woman would put up with a guy like that... YOU would always be there for her. He'll treat her like shit and probably cheat on her.
You would treat her like a Princess IF she would only give you a chance but nope, a woman like THAT would throw you aside for a guy like him.
Do you feel like while everyone tells you how must CREATE attraction, you just don't seem to know HOW to DO it or why you should HAVE to do it anyways?
You're thinking - if women are always saying they're tired of the games men play - and you don't play them, why are you still alone or worse yet... lonely?
Shouldn't women LIKE you for YOU and feel attracted to you anyways without having to play all those games?
You guess not.
You went home alone again feeling like a complete LOSER with women. Helpless, clueless as to why such terrible things happen to such a nice guy like yourself.
Worst of all it's making you hate women. It pisses you off so much kind of makes you want to become a jerk... just to get laid.
Yet - for some reason you can not explain - you went out feeling lucky that day. How finally you'd meet that special rare woman who actually LIKES nice guys like you.
You can't shake the optimism even though at times it feels like it's mocking you. Making fun of you behind your back.
You went out feeling tall and confident once again but feel two inches shorter hunched over struggling to get up the few steps to your apartment...
Staring at the very same floor you hoped a woman would soon walk besides you.
This day or night - nothing changed - the steps you walk on everyday would only feel the full weight of your despair.
The steps heard nothing but your feet echoing through the hallway and through the eerily silent walls.
No laughter from a woman.
No sweet conversations about what a good time she had with you.
No smacking of your lips to hers in the night.
Your imagination planned the entire evening out like how you'd be rushing to get the keys in the door followed by a magical evening of great sex and laughter... and a tasty breakfast in bed with her as you discussed your hopes and dreams and how happy you were to meet each other.
Yes, that description was certainly laid on thick BUT you know what, I'm not a fiction writer. They were pulled from my own experiences and how it all felt to me.
Going out with a false set of confidence tucked between my legs, the condom stuffed in my wallet, and the worst thing a nice guy can ever have...
Hope may seem like a good thing - after all - you might feel utterly lost without it but you know where hope gets you in this world...
You can HOPE your bills will disappear but they never do until you earn some cash and pay for them.
You can HOPE that hot girl you've had your eyes on approaches you but she probably won't until YOU do.
You can HOPE your future will turn out better than your past but what are the chances that happens "accidentally" until you CREATE that better future for yourself.
"...END the game of "waiting for someone to come along" and or for the right woman to "fall into your lap". This POISONOUS mindset is not only a TIME WASTER but DANGEROUS to your long-term HAPPINESS."
Waiting for someone to come along and cure your happiness is no different than waiting for a pizza to be delivered to you when you didn't even order one.
You can hope it happens but chances are it's NEVER just going to appear until you DO something to make it happen.
No matter how much HOPE or optimism you have, the cure to your loneliness is NOT going to be found unless you make a decision to go get what you feel you rightly deserve...
"You can stand at this crossroads and choose to settle for whatever results you're currently getting with women, or you can choose to take the path of action.
He doesn't sit back expecting his abilities with women to succeed; he actively seeks out opportunities to try and learn from his interactions. When he fails in a seduction, he looks back on what he could do differently, not scared that making a mistake means he's unworthy as a man.
Don't be the man sitting in front of the wood stove who says "Give me heat first, and THEN I'll throw in the wood."
Women have a definite pattern of what attracts them and it's not a secret being withheld from you.
Within you IS the cure to finally break free and eliminate any pattern of hope and despair you are going through in your life.
You are NOT a LOSER with women.
You were born as a male which just happens to be the prefect fit for a female.
You DO have the ability to work through your loneliness and come out the other side better than ever before.
You ARE capable of attracting practically ANY woman you desire AND you do not have to become a jerk or play some stupid mind games to make that happen.
You're done today, right now, of being considered or made out to be a loser with women.
- What's the problem?
- Why are you failing?
- What are you biggest fears with women?
- What are your excuses?
- What are your reasons for not getting this done?
- What don't you understand that you think could help you?
OBJECTIFY your life.
Cultivate a new mindset and start doing things DIFFERENTLY.
Manage a plan to succeed starting TODAY!
MAKE it happen.
You may ask,
"Really Pete - is it all just THAT simple? You make it SOUND so easy but to me, it feels like you're full of shit and taking advantage of us in our sad state?"
You have every right to question it all BUT since I've been where you are for more years than you're probably alive (wait... an I really that freaking old?) I know what's happening:
You're using questions like that to avoid doing what seriously needs to be done and you're just delaying a process that works.
There's no real secret cure to your loneliness.
Again, no one is hiding anything from you.
No one is trying to take advantage of you. Nobody is trying to sell you some magic diet plan promising you'll lose weight in a week or that you'll make thousands of dollars a week for the rest of your life.
Attraction is a pre-made system designed by nature to assure your Genes survive though pro-creation because humans have a limited life span.
Forget the past. LET IT GO!
Learn how attraction works.
Go ahead and fail (and succeed at times) to learn through trial, error, practice, and build your confidence.
Immediately go to work on your self-esteem. Start believing in yourself. Take a real objective look at yourself.
Learn the skills of communication and sexual communication.
Present your new mindset, your new habits or traits or whatever you tweaked a bit, to women with your new skills of communicating to women.
Attracting women is simply this:
"You don't need to show them all at once to get her attention but you must show a few to increase your chance of being the confident guy she wants. They are being humble, a sense of humor, put together, and an amazing real sense of humor. Combined together and you will become the man she's been looking for."
Your real confidence is the one and only true Aphrodisiac to women. It can be blended with other items such as humor, wit, and drive to leave a lasting attractive impression on women.
Creating attraction through your confidence is simply a matter of communicating that confidence to women in a way which is natural. It's a skill that CAN be learned.
Believing in yourself and holding yourself with certain high values and understanding the concept of achieving realistic expectations from yourself.
My self-esteem page is currently in re-write but a great way to increase your esteem is to rid yourself of as many limited beliefs you are holding on to and understand what Self-Esteem is and how it differs from Confidence.
These are the Six Pillars Of Self-Esteem:
1. Live Consciously.
2. Accept Yourself.
3. Take Responsibility for Your Experiences.
4. Assert Who You Are.
5. Live Purposefully.
6. Maintain Your Integrity.
One thing to NEVER FORGET about your self-esteem (if you're to build it higher) is the first part:
Anything outside yourself is not self-esteem. Anything you have no control over is not self-esteem.
Here's how you can start eliminating your limited beliefs:
FIRST Choose the External State of the belief or how you believe those around you see it.
Here are a few examples I've learned to re-frame.
- “I’m too short so women are not attracted to me.”
- “I'm too nice and women are not attracted to nice guys.”
SECOND: How do you internalize that external belief or how does it make you feel?
This where you're connecting the external state to the internal belief.
- “ I don’t feel attractive or good-looking because women only like tall men.”
- “ Being nice means I can not be myself because women are ONLY attracted to jerks.”
THIRD: You want to ask a few simple questions to re-frame the negative or limited beliefs above. The “all” question – Take the internal belief and make it apply to everyone, everywhere...
- “Is it true that all women, everywhere, at any given time, are not attracted to a shorter man? ”
- “Is it true that every woman are only in a relationship with a guy who treats them badly?”
FOURTH: The “what if” question – Reverse the internal belief and put yourself in that new position it creates.
- “If I were a taller man, how would that change my existence, or who would I be if I was born a taller man?”
- “If I had always been a jerk to women, how would that change my existence, or who would I be right not if I had only treated women badly?”
FIFTH: The “End Result” question – Take the internal belief and imagine yourself never-changing the belief. It always must be.
- “How will my life be if I continue to think this way? If I continue to only believe women are not attracted to me because I'm short, where will that put me in 1,5,10,20 years of my life?”
- “How will my life be if I continue to believe women are only attracted to jerks? If I continue to believe women are not attracted to me because I'm a jerk where will that put me in 1,5,10,20 years of my life?”
SIXTH: The “Alternate” Question – Take your belief and come up with a clear example of when it was not true.
- “Can I think of a time in which I did feel attractive despite my height?”
- “Can I think of a time where a woman WAS attracted to me despite me being a nice guy?”
SEVENTH: The “Other Perspective” Question – Now assume the role where this belief HAS to be true from her perspective.
- “I could never be attracted to a short man because they can not protect me like a tall man.”
- “At Least a jerk doesn't lie to me. He tells me when I look bad or when I'm being stupid.”
Try some on your own based on YOUR limited belief system and TRUST this exercise serves a greater purpose.
(If you are a shorter guy then there's more detailed examples in my appropriately titled post: You're Not Too Short To Attract Women! How To Get Past This Limited Belief.)
It can be tiring so limit yourself by take a few minutes to do a couple today.
You might not feel it's working but it is AND give yourself a few tries before you get it right because it's not as easy as it looks.
If you don't feel it's working then understand this:
ALL of your thoughts and actions start with your mind which has been cultivating itself throughout your life. You have been forming a belief system based on the cause and effects you have experienced and/or saw.
This is how your brain rationalizes itself for you. The mind NEEDS to be right otherwise it wouldn't work. Let's avoid a discussion on all that for now. b
As time went on your thoughts or ideas become ingrained in your mind and become your present belief system.
This "limited belief" exercise re-trains or "reframes" your brain to objectify what has been happening so you can begin to form a NEW positive and REAL belief system which in turn, allows you to grow.
These are not affirmations.
What you're doing is creating a new thought template to help you better rationalize your existence.
It removes the "gray area" because when you can think more clearly, see what's happening despite how it's making you feel, it removes the negative associations based on a limited view of the world we ALL perceive...
You are redefining yourself to BE a MORE ATTRACTIVE MAN so you can naturally attract women.
Unlike your confidence - your self-esteem will communicate itself to others regardless of your skills in communication.
AND... you will naturally attract and align yourself with others (including women) who share that same level of esteem.
If (and hopefully not when) you ever find yourself in a relationship (any type from a family member to a friend to co-workers to bosses to girlfriends and/or wives) your self-esteem is not closely aligned to theirs - the relationship will have problems that inevitably destroy it.
It's becomes a sort-of fail safe system.
Gain a higher self-esteem and you will find yourself naturally better suited to be around those on that level.
Which ultimately means happier, longer-lasting, and healthier relationships.
This one is a little tougher and definitely too large of an area to cover in a post.
It is what is exactly written - a SKILL therefore it's something you learn and have been learning since the day you were born.
There are some communication skills you are born with to help you communicate your needs to your Mother or whomever is taking care of you.
You are also born with the skills of understanding body language communication but not necessarily with the skill of communicating with your body.
Meaning your body will convey messages to others which you might not even be aware of that is happening. Just the same as you sense it from others, others are getting it from you.
As you mature you learn new communication skills to also convey your new possibly adult needs or to get what you want from others or from life in general.
NOBODY without any serious brain issues lacks communication skills or the ability to learn them or to retrain them in such a way which gets you more things or causes an effect (positive or negative) in others.
Even the so-called asshole who pushes people around or puts down those around them is using THAT style of communication to fulfill his needs. It may not be appropriate or right but it's still a skill he learned as he matured or in his case, his body got larger.
Even a person born without a tongue or loses the ability to speak learns to communicate by whatever means possible.
The many types of communication are often debated and tend to center around the area as in work, family, sexual partner, etc...
What you should be concerned in the matter of attracting women are:
- Body language - Conveying calm, cool, collected, relaxed, open, calculated, etc...
- Social skills - How you interact with others in a group setting of any kind in any place or environment.
- Sexuality - How you learn to turn others on and trigger their desires towards you.
- Verbal or Oral - The spoken words between two people of any kind. Normally very personal and sometime confidential.
- Visual - Your look communicates to others and although you can not control this perception entirely, you can sway others to see what you intend for them to see.
Hey, I told you it's a huge area which is why it's so very important if you want to attract women naturally to LEARN THE SKILL OF COMMUNICATION in a way which can trigger her attraction towards you.
Figure out as soon as you can which skill you need the most help in and start the process.
Without the right communication skills you will NEVER gain complete control of attracting the women you desire.
Through your confidence and high self-esteem you WILL naturally attract others but when it comes to forming deeper relationships and attracting a woman despite what you have or can give to them...
YOU MUST LEARN SOME BETTER THAN AVERAGE COMMUNICATION SKILLS.
Your married life depends on it. Your family life depends on it. Your career life depends on it... if you want to feel or be successful in those areas.
The only CONTROL you have outside yourself is the ability to get what you want from life (even outside of normal reasoning) comes down to your communication skills with others.
My goal today was not to scare you into thinking this is all way too much work.
My purpose is to just prove to you that you're not a loser with women. You CAN get this handled.
You don't have to be or ever feel lonely again.
My purpose is to show you all the areas of attraction so you can better manage YOUR PERSONAL plan to success.
There is not just one path you can take BUT you must START SOMEWHERE.
My personal suggestion could have you go through all the programs I know which can show you all the necessary details in the ares you feel you need specific help on but that would only turn this page into a catalog and that's NOT my intention today at all.
Go ahead and sign up to DiaLteG TM below. You'll get a constant stream of helpful tips, advice, inspiration, or whatever you need.
Start reading my Girlfriend Steps to help you go through each stage of your learning process and to guide you to more specific help you might need:
STOP thinking or believing you're a loser with women.
START believing any feelings of loneliness you have can and WILL be eliminated because you DO have the CHOICE to overcome it.
STOP hoping things will change.
STARTING making things change for you today!
There is not magic secret cure because you are NOT suffering from a disease.