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Nice Guy: I’m Tired of Being a Loser With Women

in Inspiration, Nice Guy
The nice guy stops hoping he’ll he won’t be a loser with woman anymore.

Another evening goes by as the “nice guy” trudges his ass home.

Alone, tired, and frustrated.

He watched yet another jerk steal the girl he had HIS eyes on!

He talked to her but nothing came from it. He didn’t even get her number.

He failed to make her feel the oh-so-important thing called… attraction.

From this he concludes that she must only like jerks.

His thoughts center around why she would put up with HIS shit when HE would always be there for her.

HE could show her what it felt like to be treated like a princess if she would only give him a chance… but she or them, never do.

Do they?

He goes home alone again feeling like a loser with women. Helpless, clueless, and even a little pissed off at ALL women.

He went out that night feeling good that this would be his lucky night. How finally he would meet that special women who actually does like nice guys.

He stood tall when he left but lost two inches and hunched over as he walked up the steps alone.

Staring at the floor where he hoped a woman would soon walk…

But the steps felt nothing but the weight of his own despair.

The steps heard nothing but his two feet and the echo rang through the hallway and through the ever silent walls.

No laughter from a woman.

No sweet conversations about what a good time she had.

No smacking of the lips in the dark night.

His imagination planned the entire evening like how he’d be rushing to get the keys in the door followed by a magical evening of sex.

The beautiful girl locked in his eyes as they begin to kiss….

Those sad events above may not be every nice guy’s typical night out but I know I have been there enough times myself.

I would go out with a false set of confidence tucked between my legs, the condom stuffed in my wallet, and hope.

Yes, all the hope gathered through every long day helped me leave the house but…

You know where hope gets you in the world….


Sometimes I HOPE my bills will disappear bit they never do until I get off my ass and pay them.

Sometimes I HOPE that hot girl will talk to me but she doesn’t, until I approach her and say something.

And sometimes I wonder and HOPE the future will turn out better than the past, but it doesn’t until I create the future I want for myself.

As Scot McKay claims in his Ebook Deserve What You Want:

“…END the game of “waiting for someone to come along” and or for the right woman to “fall into your lap”. Learn why this POISONOUS mindset is not only a TIME WASTER but DANGEROUS to your long-term HAPPINESS.”

Waiting for someone to come along and cure your happiness is no different than hoping and again, hope gets you… NOWHERE!

The cure to your loneliness is NOT going to be found unless you make a decision to go get what you deserve!

I know from years of experience and research women have a definite pattern to what they attracts them.

It’s not a secret kept from every nice guy and it’s not some stamped out copied version of what the experts will teach you.

It is what I personally have developed for myself related to my experiences in the lonely world of a nice guy and it is what I developed for myself after practicing what these experts have taught me.

It’s my own because I made it that way.

I believe that is what you have to do to cure or eliminate this pattern of hope and despair.

When you go through your very first Ebook or full out package of creating this new man who gets what he desires, you too must develop your own style which is very unique to you.

Your unique self will allow you stand out above every other stamped out version of men because women want to feel every man in their life, is a one of a kind and that he is hers and no other woman can have him.

In my two posts, Being Cool and Four Steps To Being Cool Starting with Confidence I outlined this theory:

Confidence –> Self Esteem –> Indifference –> Fearless = Being Cool.

It’s a road map to my success to cure my loneliness.

Nope, it did not happen overnight.

It’s not a quick fix.

It’s a long-term investment and when you learn to enjoy the process of discovering yourself through every step, your life WILL change.

Just like every road map the more detailed, the more clearer, the more intertwined each path meets with the others the easier it becomes to get where you’re going or get what you deserve.

As you work on your confidence connect it to your self esteem by understanding what triggers a woman attraction towards you.

As you work on being fearless join that path with indifference by learning how to talk to any woman, anytime… anywhere.

As you work towards being cool, calm, and unaffected to her subconscious tests that lonely “tired of being a loser nice guy” will be just a distant memory.

And I bet one day you’ll even be able to teach what you learned to a future son of yours what women are really all about and how you managed to meet that incredible woman he calls mom.

If you’re tired of being a loser with women, tired of considering yourself to be a loser let alone someone else saying it…

It’s a start in the right direction I’d say because now you know it’s time to start doing something, anything, different than before because I can assure you it’s possible to break this pattern once and for all.

Welcome to a nice guys approach to attraction…


About the author: Creator of the nice guy approach, why do guys, why do chics, and DiaLteG TM. Transformed from a nice guy kiss ass who wanted women to like me for “who I was” to an attractive “good guy” who knows what it takes to create attraction and succeed with women, dating, and relationships.

Please visit all my pages: The Nice Guy Approach | The Approach | Why Do Guys…? | Why Do Chics…? OR Like my Facebook fan pages: Why Do Chics…? | DiaLteG TM OR JOIN the best group on women at Why Do Chics…?. Yes, I’m a very busy guy. 🙂 Oh… I almost forgot Twitter – Peter White.

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17 comments… add one
  • Dave Hare

    Im a real loser with women also. No matter how hard I try to look nice and be nice no woman on this earth would want me. Ive been skinny to fat, Muscular to wealthy. I can have lots of money ect. No woman see’s me attractive enough for them. I hope I die.

    • Dave, women are looking for something more than any of what you mentioned. That’s probably why you haven’t had much luck with them. I won’t lie, sure some of things can matter to some women, but I feel the majority are looking for a feeling. Whether the trust their intuition or not to go with those feelings is of course mainly left to your lead and a little more based on where she is.

      The feeling of attraction women normally feel has little to do with the items you mentioned above. Besides, before you lose all hope…

      Stop trying to look nice for women and start looking “good,” because how comfortable and confident you feel with what you are wearing.

      Stop trying to be so nice to women. If you’re a genuinely good person and people respect you, never feel like you have to prove your niceness to anyone, especially women you find attractive. It’s not necessary. Women are not the “decision maker” of how nice you are or not.

      Take care of your body the best you can because, again, how good it feels to be in shape and have lots of energy to enjoy life to the fullest. Women are not the goal in weight control.

      If you want lots of money, go for it. But if you don’t and are only doing it hoping money will clear your “loser” status with women, it will only have the opposite effect. As you have already experienced. Women are not your financial advisers. (Unless you’re married, having kids with her, or are in some kind of legal agreement.)

      In others words start making women an amazing side effect in your life and not the ultimate goal to your existence. That’s what rally works. And when you want to step through the process of attraction, dating, and relationships more often focus on what I’ve mentioned above as a new optimistic perspective.

      Then you can start adding on the rest of the personality traits women are highly attracted to. Like confidence, great humor, vocal inflections, passion, desire, drive, charisma, etc…

      What do you say Dave. You up for this new challenge?

    • Bill

      Dave, when I was 30 I gave up on ever having a wife or even a girlfriend. I had a secure, well paying job and my own townhouse in a clean, safe area. I couldn’t buy a date for a million bucks while ex-cons and guys who could not hold any job had all the women they wanted. After I totally gave up , women got interested in me and I started getting dates. . I did not display confidence but rather total indifference and it wasn’t an act. If a woman expressed an interest I would ask her out. I didn’t care if she said yes or no. When I honestly cared about women they couldn’t run away fast enough. I am married now and that’s all behind me. Another thing..I used to agonize over asking women out, fearing rejection After age 30, I didn’t care what she said. I realized that if she rejected me, she wasn’t turning me down to go out with a brain surgeon..rather she was turning me down to go out with a dirtbag. Take a close look at who these women go out with (losers by any standard) and you won’t put them on a pedestal anymore. I am not saying that immediately after you give up women will be pounding on your door. But the immediate effect is that you will feel more relaxed. You don’t have to display “confidence” because you are not chasing women anymore. You don’t have to worry about what any particular women thinks of you because you know she’s fixated on some other guy. You will feel at peace because you have given up a pointless struggle where you can never win. Even if you want to get back into the game at a later date, a break is an excellent idea. By the way, I know of 2 girls who rejected me..today they are divorced and alone and still working while I am happily and comfortably retired while my wife and I are enjoying life. These girls who reject decent guys with good jobs to date scumbags…I have NEVER seen one of them do well. Hope this helps

      • peter white

        I’m sure it will help lots of guys… Thanks Bill,


    • Bill

      Dave, I used to put these women on a pedestal until I took a good look at who they were attracted to…basically, the scum of the earth..thugs, bad boys and violent abusive men. That’s why they will dump the attorney or CPA to go out with a scumbag. I would stop pandering to these women, stop worrying about what they think of you. When I gave up on women and started concentrating on my graduate education and my career I started getting dates. It’s weird. When I cared about women and treated them well, they ran away. When I was indifferent and focussed on other things, they started paying attention. I used to get upset when I saw a nice girl with a dirtbag. After I gave up on women, I couldn’t care less. Your time is better spent making money, furthering your education and taking care of yourself. You will get a return on your investment and if a woman expresses an interest, you can follow up. You don’t need to chase them. Do you think these Alpha males, thugs and bad boys chase women? No. They have so many women they are pushing them away.

  • james

    Thanks guys . this helps you motivated me . I don’t know why girl reject nice people .its also happening to me .whenever I try to get a girl I’m rejected .I’m doing my education ,I want a serious relationship .but girls always reject me .

    I’m stopping chasing for girls and concentrate on my chartered accounting career .I will never go for any girl again .I’m tired .i keep trying but it never works .

    I invest my patience in my studies and career . rejection hates .I will enjoy my life alone.I’m 21 years now

    • Hey James – women are NOT rejected your niceness. Most real women who are nice themselves prefer to be treated “nicely.”

      It’s good to stop chasing women and it’s also good to focus on something else beside women. THAT could only help you. It’s also great to learn how to enjoy your life alone. To be complete and happy while being single is a good thing which will only help you in the end.

      BUT I wouldn’t give up on women entirely. Balance is important for true happiness.

      I would switch your focus from “wanting a serious relationship” to enjoying quality time or fun experiences with women FIRST. That’s the first hurdle and I believe when you learn to do that you’ll find the relationship part will “sort of” take care of itself.

      We’re all glad this helped you and I’m pulling for you James,


    • Bill

      James, you are on the right track. Don’t waste your time chasing women. It won’t add anything to your resume or a dime to your bank account. You will need financial security for your senior years because life sucks without money. Even if you get a girlfriend she will dump you for a Bad Boy the second she is “bored.” The BEST mindset for a man is to stop caring about women. Women are NOT like pets where you love them and they love you back. They are not these angels sent from heaven to make everything right. I think it was best summed up by Robert DiNiro in the movie Taxi Driver where he said that “women are cold and distant. They are like a union.” View them that way and see that the vast majority are also chasing misfits, thugs and Bad Boys and you won’t feel so bad.

      • Bill,

        Although I do agree it’s not always best to “chase” women. I mean you do have to do something unless you have something “certain” women will always chase like money, power, incredible looks, or fame… BUT taking advice from a fake character who happens to be a psychopath killer isn’t the smartest thing to do.

    • Roberto

      You want to know why girls don’t like nice men? It’s because girls are not nice people.

  • Bill

    James, let’s put it this way: I have never seen an asshole, ex-con, violent thug or gang member that ever lacked for female attention and lots of it. I have seen many decent, sincere guys that had good jobs and a solid future be unable to get a date or a girlfriend. I’ll tell you seomthing else–these assholes and thugs don’t chase women-women chase them. I have seen it. As an alternative to giving up on on women altogether you might want to move women way down on your prioritiy list—put your education, career, finances, friends and hobbies first and put women at priority # 7 or # 8. They are not worth investing a lot of time in . By the way, even if you get a girlfriend she will dump you in a heartbeat the minute she is “bored” or an exciting or seductive bad boy comes along. Look out for yourself. Do not let women determine your self worth. The fact that you can’t get a date does not mean you are a bad person. You can’t get a date because assholes, thugs and various misfits are VERY attractive to women and they get the lion’s share of the female attention. If you don’t believe me, go out in any big city and look at the guys these woman are dating. Repeat, stop chasing and eyeballing the woman; instead take a good hard look at the guys they are dating.– Don’t believe women when they say they “only want a nice guy.” Look at who they date and have sex with and it will tell you everything about them. respond to my comment if you have any questions.


  • OlBlueEyes

    Qualities such as honesty, a good work ethic, sincerity, humility, generosity, and stability (in short, “niceness) are wonderful to have.
    Learn this sad truth now:
    None, NOT ONE of them translates into an ounce of pussy.

    • peter white

      It’s all how you use them OlBLueEyes AND they are great qualities to have in a relationship so women do look for them in a guy.

      You just need to create the attraction and not try to use those qualities to do so because you’re right, they don’t normally translate into pussy.

      You also can not use them as excuses IF and WHEN you’re not getting any.

      That was my biggest problem. I thought the same thing and then made myself believe I wasn’t getting any because women are not attracted to those qualities. Kind of a two edged sword there guaranteeing me failure with most women.

      The truth of the matter is YES, you might not need them just to get laid. Some women will sleep with you even if they don’t see any long-term attraction, BUT as for getting and keeping a girlfriend, you know one who is not overly dramatic or “on the crazy” side of lifestyles, AND for anything long-term those qualities is what is going to work for you.


      • Roberto

        Why do you tell the guy that he has to “create the attraction” when you don’t give him any idea of what you are talking about ??!

  • Darius

    Hello my name is Darius, I’m a 21 yr old College grad. I’m currently going to grad school in Lyon, France. I haven’t had much success in relationships, to date I’ve never had a girlfriend, when I was younger I was so afraid to ask someone out because of fear of rejection, people talking and what my Mother would think and say (regardless of what I do or say my Mother talks). I didn’t start asking out girls till College. One of the early ones hurt so much because things got awkward whenever the other person and I crossed paths at school. I was bitter, depressed, and had on again off again bouts of self pity. During my Senior year I accomplished the trial of asking out at least 50 girls, all of whom were not interested in me or were already taken. The only success was a small coffee date with a friend, which ended in the best rejection so far. I suppose the early rejections were really bad because I started pursuit through email or facebook, I realize one has to be persistent but constant rejection is a bit discouraging. I feel as though I’m not coming off as attractive. My long-term goal in relationship is a wife that I can honor God with (YES I’m a Christian). I want to be the Father, I didn’t have. What should do to be more attractive and improve my chances of meeting someone, I don’t want to be Charlie Sheen and I certain don’t want to be Alan Harper.

  • Paul

    I’m 37 and have never kissed a woman – and no woman has ever tried to kiss me. I stay in good shape, dress well and have a great sense of humour, but I never approach or bother trying to show my interest in women I like because I’m realistic enough to know that there’s a 100% chance I’ll be completely rejected by every woman I might try to introduce myself to. I have many woman friends, but no matter what anyone tells me, the fact is, I cannot see how it could be remotely possible for any woman to be attracted to me in *that* way – so I’m doomed to remain chronically single.

  • Ry

    So many people say don’t chase the women… As if that was the solve all solution to the problem which is the reason we are all here to begin with. But, that does not work! I know I have been trying it for many years. Women don’t ask me out or try to have relationships with me. It’s just not in their nature unless you are Brad Pitt. So if they aren’t trying to make anything happen with me and I’m not trying then….. Nothing would be happening. And guess what, nothing is happening. I do agree that many women are desperately attracted to guys that have zero long term potential and are highly likely to cheat on them, lie that they didn’t, and give them something incurable. But that would take logic to think about long term potential. A short term emotional high feels better than growing old while creating a beautiful family right? I guess what I’m trying to say is that I wish everyone would stop saying stop chasing women and start saying something that works. Regardless of what I learn now I feel like I will die alone and at this point I am ok with that. I will die confused wondering what if anything actually goes on in a woman’s head? I’m picturing an emotional vacuum cleaner running on its fastest speed. Ignoring any logic and just desperately seeking any emotional buzz. Whatever. At least I never had any kids. Good luck to anyone reading this.

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