One rule of attraction implicitly states, when we chase those we are attracted to, they will run quicker than Forest Gump on steroids.
We are indisputably designed as humans to do one of two things when we are being chased:
Fight or Flee.
When someone or something is coming after us, when it feels like we're being chased, when the space between us closing in quickly - it can become a very real and often frightening situation.
Even if you were to remove the "stranger danger" of it all, the instinctual emotional urges feel exactly the same for a woman.
It's doesn't matter if you're a kind-hearted good intentioned man such as yourself.
By not giving a woman space, smothering her, being overly needy and constantly seeking her approval, will make ANY woman FEEL like she's being chased.
Her reaction will ultimately be to FLEE or FIGHT from you.
In the dating world the fleeing part is obvious, you'll push her away and/or she'll break up with you leaving too wonder when and where it all went wrong.
Fighting is a little different however when there's little or no attraction already in place - and you're not giving her the right space, it leads to a nasty rejection from her.
Flee - Leave, break up.
Fight - Instant or continual rejection.
Remember, there are only TWO options she can and will sooner or later choose.
This is all happening to you for a reason. Choose the one that applies and your specific answer will follow:
- You're currently in a relationship with her and she's telling you she now needs her space, but you don't want to lose her or make it worse.
- You've entered a few relationships in the past and you always get too close way too fast. Deep down you know it's a real problem for you. You'll do anything to stop it from happening again.
- You don't understand how giving a woman space can increase her feelings for you. It doesn't make logical space to step away and she'll like you more. You're reluctant against even trying out of fear of losing her forever.
- You're a nice guy who tends to get a little needy with women and you're looking to erase this unattractive trait because you know without a doubt, it's killing your dating life or making it impossible.
- You suffer from what is commonly called a "sense of urgency". When you first meet or interact with a girl, you feel like if you're not constantly pushing it or doing something to be with her - she'll wind up with another guy.
I'll start with the first one...
You're in a relationship and she told you she just needs some space.
Sorry to hear that and there are many reasons why this happens to a couple.
#1. Things got physical way too quickly.
You met, slept with each other right away, and the sex was so amazing, BOTH of you couldn't get enough of it.
However, as always in these cases, one of you eventually backs away because it become too much. Often your life responsibilities get pushed back and things can easily get out of hand.
One of you becomes unsure and starts to question where things are going or i this is what you really want.
In this case SPACE is a good (highly advisable) ACTION to take because relationships that start on a purely physical level is NEVER a good start.
They often end as abruptly as they started.
Which is fine is that is what you want, but if you're looking for a relationship, it become much more difficult to move forward.
Space is not a second option here. It MUST happen because neither one of you are ready for the next step.
#2. The instant boyfriend and girlfriend mistake.
You were so into each other when you first met, you spent practically every waking moment together. Before you even knew what was happening, you became an INSTANT assumed couple.
Yet neither one of you actually said or made a commitment leading to doubt and subsequent confusion. No lead was taken, therefore no path can be seen.
This differs from the first one because normally there's little or no sex.
In this case, SPACE again is a very good thing. It must happen because without any clear indication or declaration that a commitment is agreed upon, you'll soon start questioning what is really going on.
Often, it quickly sucks the fun out of it and makes being together strange because it feels like something is missing.
If you often find yourself in many instant relationships, there's certainly a space problem here.
More casual dating and lots of space is a starting solution.
Next example - very common for the nice guy and for women too...
#3. You become needy and clingy after the initial spark and emotionally smother your partner.
Everything feels okay and then, out of nowhere, she just snaps and screams,
"You need to give me some freaking space! I can not take it anymore"
Number 3 is a clear indication that SPACE must happen and it's also a clear sign that you or her might be having security issues.
You might become jealous easily.
You might feel you're always on the edge of losing your partner.
Take the time necessary to work on your personal issues of self-esteem and you will naturally create the right amount of space.
For you to understand and solve this problem, you must see and admit the common elements:
#1: You showed her very quickly you're needy and/or clingy.
You smothered her.
You didn't give enough space or time between the interactions. You acted from a place a scarcity, or like you had or have no real other options or choices.
You felt like you had to have her (or any woman) now!
You imagined another guy would come along and snatch her up if you didn't act quickly.
#2. Too much chemistry too quickly.
The fire burned hot and bright and the life you had before you met took a back seat.
Whether it was all sex or just lots of dating and intimacy doesn't matter.
Your time together progressed so quickly you didn't have any time to think about the consequences.
It was as if you didn't have any time to think about it making it feel like you lost control so you're worried where it's going and whether you made the right decision.
No matter which one happened to you there are clear solutions to this "space" problem.
They are not all easy but let's continue to the next one - because just like the last they are ALL connected and can be solved equally.
Your relationships or past experiences with women often end badly and you'll do anything to stop it from happening again.
Good for you! The past is the past and now you're ready to make some positive changes in your life. Giving a woman the right amount of space is a good thing for you, and even better for her attraction towards you.
For this to happen, a balance must be achieved and often maintained too.
Disappear for too long and she could easily move on and forget about you. Especially if there wasn't much attraction anyways.
Give her too little space and you're back to the same old pattern problem again.
Here's something to ease your mind and help you out.
Women come to me for advice about men just like you and there's an unmistakable common root or theme to their problem.
They always ask the same thing,
"Why did he disappear? Why does he seem hot and cold? Why does he ignore me? Why does it seem like he's into me one minute and gone the next?"
If you've created a considerable amount of attraction, if she has even a slight bit of interest in you, if she's invested any sort of time with or for you...
She's definitely not moving on in a flash.
You CAN give her the space she needs without fear of loss.
As her questions above arise, she will actually be drawn closer to you and want you even more.
Side note: Some women will blow you off out of spite or some misguided ideas of dating, but for those ones, it's best for you that they are leaving you alone. They're typically not relationship ready anyways.
Now I don't want you to start playing mind games with her. There's no need for it.
In these cases, to stop the pattern, to drive up her deeper feelings towards you, all you have to do is:
Give her a real reason to miss you (attraction and a little attention) and allow the space to happen naturally.
Here are some quick tips you can use starting immediately:
If this is serious, STOP dating one woman at a time.
When you meet a woman you like, find another quickly who is similar, and date her too.
There's nothing wrong with dating more than one woman at a time.
You Want More Dating Choices, Then Learn How To Get Women To Chase You
Plan ahead. Be proactive. Set something in place you go to as needed.
When you're feeling desperate and it feels like you can't stop yourself, when you feel like you have to contact her, just please go do something else to occupy your time.
Whatever is the most distracting works the best and can stop you from contacting her under duress.
Learn and know your weak spots.
You'll have a general sense of when it (contacting her) is most likely to happen, when you know it's not a good time because you're closing the space needed.
Understand it's okay. The feelings will pass if you're honest and upfront with yourself.
Again - distract yourself. You can't eliminate the feelings but you certainly can REPLACE them with something else which is fun for you to do.
Eventually the feelings will disappear and time will fly by.
Be busy, stay busy. Always fill your time up doing things you love without her and enjoy your life.
You have a life so stick to it. Don't rearrange or change everything so early on. Keep doing what you do.
Restrict how often you call or text to at least one half or more than you have in the past.
If it's everyday, turn it into a few days and so on. One week? Then wait a few more days before.
Start a journal.
When you start getting the feeling like you have to text or call her - opt to writing it down in a private journal no one will ever see.
Get it all out of your system. This one worked amazingly well for me.
Write down what you would've said or talked about. Write down why you think you have to call her. Write down anything connected to that matter and CLOSE THE BOOK until you need it again.
Imagine any and every woman who has acted this way towards you.
When it's "crunch" time and you can not resist, IMMEDIATELY imagine every needy clingy woman you wanted nothing to do with and how they made you feel.
Let those feelings seep in and you should snap out of it very easily.
Constantly remind yourself of this FACT: Sexual tension and attraction NEED the right amount of time and space to happen.
It's sex and seduction 101.
Anticipation is a good thing. It's hard to miss something when it's available 24/7. I believe you know that so don't forget it.
Those tips work in a lot of situations.
Here's your plan to giving a woman all the space she needs:
- Distraction: Do other things you love which keep you busy which can be physically and/or emotionally demanding that it literally tires you out.
- Education: Keeping your mind occupied by learning something new. Find something which engages and preoccupies your mind leaving less room for thinking about her.
- Not investing time and effort into one woman: Get more dates and don't be afraid of dating more than one woman at a time.
Next up... for those of you who don't believe giving a woman space is the smart or right thing to do...
You don't fully believe how giving a woman space can increase her feelings for you.
Imagine for a minute the most enjoyable thing you have in your life. It could be anything from food to gaming to binge watching to sadly so in some of my years - getting drunk with your family and friends.
Got something in your head? Cool.
Now imagine that's ALL you have and you continually do it indefinitely. Hey I understand some of you might enjoy it. It would be fun for a while.
BUT sooner or later the thrill is gone.
Like a drug you'll build up a tolerance for it and the enjoyment will disappear.
So what can you do to bring it back?
Yep, you guessed it... TAKE A BREAK from it.
Give it a rest.
Allow some space and time between you and IT before you absolutely HATE doing it because nothing sucks worse than turning something you love doing into something you hate doing.
You know what ATTRACTION is, right?
It's a deep emotional trigger which happens all by itself.
You can not convince yourself or talk yourself into FEELING something and it's an emotion which can be very addicting; which means getting too much of it sort of ruins it, because you become used to it.
Now I'm not saying getting married or being in a relationship long-term the attraction will eventually disappear, it can happen, but you MUST ADMIT leering at a girl without ever touching her can make the attraction last a lot longer than being able to sleep with her whenever you want, OR knowing you'll be with her the rest of your life.
The same goes for women and you.
Giving her too much, too quickly can easily lessen the desired effect.
With no room to grow it becomes stagnant. If she knows she can have it any time she wants, what's the incentive to truly DESIRE and want it more?
Attraction needs to build. It must gather momentum. It ebbs and flows according to where and when and how the stimulus or trigger is created.
If you want to create a real desire - start with attraction - give it some space and time - offer snippets or pieces as incentives - let the woman think about it a little - then give her time to process the information.
She'll take care of it all on her own because it's an instinctual template she is BORN with, so why mess with nature's perfection.
AND that's just ONE of the many reasons why giving a woman the right amount of space (while other things are firmly in place) is how you grow her desire and attraction into something more and into something she can not talk herself out of or ever deny.
Her attraction process and how not to interrupt is covered in depth in the First chapter available for members of DiaLteG™ | The Real Secret to Attracting Women & Getting Laid No One Knows But Me!.
The other reasons will be covered below... so onward we go!
You're a nice guy who has been needy with women and you're looking to erase that trait.
Being overly needy comes from a lot of places so we'll only cover them lightly and I'll do my best to keep it relative to giving a woman space.
NEEDY is a general WANT or NEED of attention, affection, approval, assurance, and love.
Since it shows up in many parts of our lives - if you're needy with women you will be needy in other parts too like your job, your parents, your friends, (yes even) your pets; or any time or place where you feel like you're missing something or could lose something.
The reasons why you're needy are intertwined with many things and can be explained in many ways - but for today's purpose alone, here are a few ways to show you WHERE it comes from:
You feel like you're not good enough so you do things to try and prove it which has the opposite effect on women.
Some of the signs you are insecure are becoming easily jealous, the feeling you must be heard, over-confidence, bullying others, acting out loudly, demanding too much from yourself and others, and/or a general feeling that you can not or will not ever be good enough at anything.
Which of course includes attracting women and being in a healthy relationship.
You're afraid you're going to lose something or someone so you do everything within your power to keep it up to and including power over someone or something.
Fear is a major motivator and destroyer of people whose lives are run by it. Don't let it fool you, you're not alone.
EVERYONE is governed by fear unless they have a severe brain injury, the only difference is some are more controlled than others. Some channel or deal with their fears more productively than other.
Some of the signs are:
- You avoid any and all confrontations
- You play it safe even if there's no need to
- You feel way too comfortable being complacent
- You have a list of excuses which stops you from doing things
Being needy is often a direct result or effect of having low self-esteem. Based on Nathaniel Branden's work (prominent leader in the field) these are his six pillars:
- Living consciously: Paying attention to information and feedback about needs and goals… facing facts that might be uncomfortable or threatening… refusing to wander through life in a self-induced mental fog.
- Self-acceptance: Being willing to experience whatever we truly think, feel or do, even if we don’t always like it… facing our mistakes and learning from them.
- Self-responsibility: Establishing a sense of control over our lives by realizing we are responsible for our choices and actions at every level, the achievement of our goals, our happiness, and our values.
- Self-assertiveness: The willingness to express appropriately our thoughts, values and feelings… to stand up for ourselves… to speak and act from our deepest convictions.
- Living purposefully: Setting goals and working to achieve them, rather than living at the mercy of chance and outside forces… developing self-discipline.
- Integrity: The integration of our behavior with our ideals, convictions, standards and beliefs… acting in congruence with what we believe is right.
If you find yourself not living by those pillars to a certain extent (no one is perfect so be realistic about it) then you probably have low self-esteem.
The obvious solution (direction) you should be going to get past this "space" problem is to:
- Get past your insecurities.
- Remove any unnecessary fears.
- Build or develop your self-esteem.
These will directly affect your relationships with women BUT they don't have to be worked on with regards to women.
Either way, one will take care of the other AND all three will boost the other two at the same time. They're connected in a way which can not be fully separated.
If you noticed confidence was not there. Good call.
Although confidence is by far a major attractive trait to women, (something every guy needs), it might not be directly related to giving her space as a goal.
Plus confidence protects those items above. It's a barrier.
It's how you handle your success and failures. It just does not fit here for the most part.
Next one please... and it's a big one.
You suffer from what is commonly called a "sense of urgency" when you first meet or interact with a woman or all women.
The last one (being needy) is most certainly connected to this one. (Again these things tend to overlap. One causes another while the other affects the first one and so on.)
However, for "learning" purposes or a better understanding of these "space" issues you're having with women, this is separated for a few reasons but in this article, it's because this is HUGE mistake guys make unknowingly and so it must be singled out.
Also because this is an area I'm an expert. This was something I had to personally work very hard in my life to get past it all.
This is how it feels and tell me if you're there, been there, or find yourself doing the same.
A sense of urgency is the feeling that if you don't do something immediately with a woman, you're going to lose her OR lose her to another guy.
It's a major insecurity issue mixed with fear and combined with a low self-esteem making it a tough one to get past.
It's also so frustratingly hard to see that it becomes a big reason why you might find it difficult to give a woman enough space at the right time, in the right way.
The strange part or (pain in the ass part of this one) is that you feel compelled to do something (anything) to keep a girl, even before you have her, and yet it does nothing to help you actually meet women.
Double edged sword and I Told you it sucks!
And so It happens - this nasty sense of urgency - a feeling like you're going to lose her - like she's going to end up with another guy if you are not constantly with her - and it doesn't just magically appear for most.
It's creation generally begins based on one or more past experiences where you "thought" a chic was into you, then the next time you see her - she's with another dude.
Another experience you may have felt is when you believe you're doing all the right work to get a girl and everything is going great, but then you don't see her for a short time and the next thing you know, she's hooked up with some asshole or guy she "said" she didn't want... making this a friends zone issue and more!
THIS reason alone could be exactly why you're pushing women away and your incessant need to stop it from happening is making it very difficult to stop doing so the pattern will continually repeat itself.
The harder you try the worse it gets.
Listen, you're going to lose some women, she's going to get with some other dude, you could create some space and she never comes back - things happen for better or worse or for whatever...
But when you're so focused on the outcome (trying so hard to keep her or get her) you can NOT do the necessary things to assure it's less likely to happen.
That is why it's so difficult.
This is an area where you must understand what you DO have control of and do your best to only control that part alone.
You can NOT and will NEVER fully control another persons actions or thoughts...
BUT you do have control over what YOU do and SAY which will make her "going or pulling away" from you FAR less likely to happen.
Actually, learn to do it masterfully and (again depending on who she is) you'll either end up with a clingy needy woman who does it to you first OR you'll end up with a high quality woman who would NEVER cheat or leave you for another guy.
Out of everything you feel or whatever emotions are driving you, NEVER forget this:
Women are not inanimate objects you can keep for yourself.
They have feelings and experience emotions at every level in their lives. They need space and the room to live their independent existence. They also need the space to determine if you are right choice for her.
- Allow her to live her own life on her own terms
- Allow her to make her own mistakes
- Allow her to learn from those mistakes and if she doesn't learn from them, allow her to try again
You're not here or there to FIX women. You're not here or there to control her life in any way, shape, or form.
Giving a woman independence in every sense of that word assures you stand out above many guys who either blatantly or through passive-aggressive actions try to control her.
This all too common mistake lots of men make with women which comes from a lack of understanding of how men and women DO communicate differently.
It's a subject too many guys avoid but by getting at least a quick course in it, can solve so many relationship issues including this "space" one.
PLUS while working UP to a relationship, knowing the differences and how to communicate to women based on these differences makes a relationship more likely to happen. It paves the way while doing nothing more than learning how to listen and how to respond.
Here's something I wrote for women which will give you the bare basics.
How Men and Women Communicate Differently
Men talk with a purpose like solving a problem or exchanging information.
Women talk to share feelings, increase intimacy, sharing and to solidify her connection with her partner or those around her.
Men (typically) have a clear idea or solution before they share which is why men go silent for periods of time as they think through the process and figure it all out on their own.
Women will prefer to talk it out and gather the information through the conversation rather than doing it inside their own heads. Sometimes if their partner won’t or can not listen, she may go to a friend or family member first.
He prioritizes and prefers efficiency.
She prefers to explore.
Guys will tend to think or believe that when you want to talk to him that you’re seeking advice and therefore will tend to push to a conclusion in the way he communicates. Which is always head-on, tackle the problem as quickly as possible.
From the Chapter - His Silence Might Be A Bad Sign Causing A Breakdown Of Communication.
From my book for women about YOU:
Why Men Go Silent, Ignore You, Refuse or Won’t Share Their Feelings
By learning HOW to communicate to women you can make her at least FEEL like you're giving her all the space she'll ever need.
Which is all that needs to happen, right?
Space is relative and how much is needed changes from woman to woman and from situation to circumstance therefore it's easier to just focus on making her FEEL like she's getting all the space she needs.
Communicating things the right way assures she feels empowered to make her own decisions thus the feelings of space.
Read this part again:
"Women will prefer to talk it out and gather the information through the conversation rather than doing it inside their own heads. Sometimes if their partner won’t or can not listen, she may go to a friend or family member first.
He prioritizes and prefers efficiency.
She prefers to explore."
Here's the easiest and simplest communication technique to make her feel like she has all the independence and freedom she'll ever need with you.
Do this and repeat as often as needed:
- LISTEN to every word she says while not retreating into your mind trying to look for a solution for her. You're not there to solve her issues.
- AFFIRM what she's saying with things like, "That sucks.", "Sorry it happened." and/or "I hear you."
- REPEAT BACK what you hear and NOTHING more unless asked directly to do so.
Granted it's not all of what you need to create a long-lasting relationship, but I guarantee doing those three things alone EVERY time, will assure you give her all the feelings of space she'll need to never want to leave you for some other dude, who doesn't know how to communicate this way.
If you're totally into forming natural relationships based on what is covered, preview my last step on getting a girlfriend, and then you can decide if a membership to DiaLteG™ is right for you:
The Final Step Of Getting A Girlfriend – Forming Natural Relationships.
Never forget this about dating and relationships - they require SKILLS which is a great thing because...
A SKILL is something you can LEARN.
Read the quote below from the MASTER of dating/attraction/relationships - David DeAngelo, He also drastically suffered from a "space" problem and had to overcome his "sense of urgency" in his life:
"Suddenly, I felt like I couldn’t get enough of being around this woman. She knew how to support and understand me… including all of my hopes and dreams… like no one else could.
All I wanted to do was be with her, share with her, and learn from her. Most of all, I only felt HAPPY when I was with her.
(...) It takes something totally different to make “the one” fall for you and want a relationship… a whole NEW set of concepts, mindsets, tools, and techniques than it takes to just meet women and get dates.
From Love The Final Chapter - Product info By David DeAngelo.
Quote is directly taken from the 3 part video series you can sign in to watch for free:
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- The ultra-rare quality that sets a “real man” apart from all other guys in a great woman’s eyes. (HINT: it’s a quality you can start showing off to ALL women before the day is over.)
- Although most guys think they want a smoking-hot woman on their arm and in their bed, here’s why they’re dead wrong… and the crucial implications this has for YOU.
- The 4 specific ways that your own “most amazing woman in the world” will identify herself to you when you meet her – and the actions you MUST take when she does.
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What David is saying is that attracting women and getting dates requires a DIFFERENT set of skills and ones you wouldn't use to find a relationship.
Here are two articles he wrote which will describe what he's saying more clearly:
Okay back to our regularly scheduled program... give the woman you are attracted to... SPACE!
A ton of information has been covered today. I do hope I've covered some of your personal experiences and over-delivered what you expected from me.
You've found some useful tips to give you more than every reason to give a woman the right space needed so good or better things can happen for the both of you.
Here are the major points once again:
Not giving her space will make it feel like she's being chased and she will run.
Chasing a woman must be done right and with care.
Think of it this way - It's good to pursue ... BAD to chase.
Relationships need time and space to grow.
Anticipation is a good thing. Having someone miss you can also be a good thing.
Don't ever be afraid of creating it naturally.
Don't ever act out of fear or a sense of urgency.
Practice and repeat ALL the tips above to separate you from her and to stop you from contacting her when it's not necessary or it could hurt things which will stop you from being together.
They were DISTRACT, EDUCATE, and avoid OVER-INVESTING.
Space can be a good healthy thing when done the right way at the right time.
Understand why it's good and WHEN it's good.
Avoid dumb game playing or bullshit moves.
Understand where your space issues might be coming from: Fear, insecurity, low self-esteem AND that these problems can be fixed.
They are internal struggles so they are in YOUR CONTROL to fix or mend them. They are connected to so working on one helps the other.
David DeAngelo is my "go-to" guy when it comes lots of attraction techniques but he also excels at fixing your inner game and more often than not - this is an INNER GAME problem.
If this is a serious problem for you - you can FIX it and never have to worry about this space problem ever happening to you again.
The facts are:
- Space will ALWAYS be needed to create deep attraction in a woman and is required to form a longer-lasting relationship naturally.
- The root of your space issues are generally (but very typically) coming from a weak inner game but one that IS fixable.
- You will never know exactly how much space to give to any specific woman since each woman's needs are a little different based on HER inner game, how the problem started, and where you're at mentally, emotionally, and physically.
Solving this problem then becomes quite clear...
FIX your inner game and it takes care of itself.
This means learning SELF-CONTROL which something you CAN get from Deep Inner Game...
Deep Inner Game
Master the inner demons like fear, anxiety, insecurity, and unpredictable emotions, you’ll see that your “outside” success with women and dating will improve BY ITSELF.
Reprogram You For Massive Success In Life & Love - No Matter How Basd You Feel or Have Been Hurt In The Past!
If your space issue is an isolated incident then you won't need a major inner game overhaul - this page will do it for you today BUT....
When you're noticing this pattern in your life and it's driving women away...
If it's stopping you from enjoying dating AND killing every relationship before they even get started...
Then RIGHT NOW is the perfect time to ELIMINATE the source of the problem once and for all so you can get on to enjoying your life with any woman you desire:
Click Here to Smash Through The Internal B.S. That’s Holding You Back From Success With Women!
*It's a costly non-entry product. You can always sign in to his Free Double Your Dating Newsletter right here and maybe a promotional discount will come your way.
Women will respond more positively and attractively to you.
They WILL stop pushing you away.
You'll gain a new respect from everyone you know which includes any woman or women who you're having space issue with today.
The REALITY is:
Boosting your inner game SOLVES many things in your life because it builds your confidence, boosts your self-esteem, and gives you a POWER and CONTROL over your life, which in turn makes giving a woman the right amount of space she needs - a natural side effect.
This is not something which is limited to "dating and attraction" - your inner game is EVERYTHING in your life from your career to your hobbies and passions to the relationships with your family and friends - it's INVALUABLE and although David did put a price on it - you can be assured and guaranteed the benefits will be with you FOREVER.
It's simple and easy to implement in your life and even easier to start going through it immediately.
Here's the link once more:
Click Here for Massive Success In Life And Love – No Matter How BAD You Feel Right Now, Or How Badly You’ve Been HURT In The Past!
I wanted to re-quote what I stated above because I don't want you to forget it and it can get you thinking the next time this space issues pops up:
"Women are not inanimate objects you can keep for yourself.
They have feelings and experience emotions at every level in their lives.
They need space and the room to live their independent existence.
They also need the space to determine if you are right choice for her.
Allow her to live her own life on her own terms.
Allow her to make her own mistakes.
Allow her to learn from those mistakes and if she doesn't learn from them, allow her to try again.
You're not here or there to FIX women.
You're not here or there to control her life in any way, shape, or form."
Understand or come to terms with your sense of urgency issues.
Do what you can to control those urges. Life will not always work out in your favor.
Sometimes bad things happen.
However trying to control things beyond your control will make it more likely to happen while the opposite is true.
Communication is a skill and communicating to women a certain way can GIVE her the sense of space and freedom and sometimes, it's all she needs to continue forward and to never step back and say,
"Leave me alone. I think we just take a break. I just need some space!"
Remember - giving her space is one thing but communicating to her in a certain way CAN make her feel like she's getting all the space she needs to never back away from you.
IF you're dating lots of women but it never goes further AND you DO want a real relationship BUT you keep screwing it up once she realizes you have space issues - then you MUST learn the different skill set that is required to make that happen.
As above - if it's an isolated incident - it's all good.
I wouldn't bother pouring all your money into something you don't feel you need because (although it will help in any future relationship) you'll quickly experience "buyers remorse" because your HEART won't be into doing what is asked of you.
However - if this IS a problem and you don't have any clue on how to get into a REAL relationship with a woman so you just make it up as you go along leading you to nothing but drama, bullshit, and more of the same results...
Start learning the skills you need to make it all happen for you!
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How & Why You Must Give The Women You Are Attracted To... Space!
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- David DeAngelo - Expert page here at DiaLteG TM.
- The MAGIC SECRET Of Getting A HOT Girlfriend - Girlfriend skills article one.
- 5 Fail Proof Tests For Getting A Girlfriend FAST - Getting a girlfriend skills article two.
- Deep Inner Game - Complete product info on fixing your inner game.
- Love The Final Chapter - Complete product info on finding love.
- Give Her A Break! You're Calling & Sending Too Many Messages, Let It Happen! New post: 07/08/2021
So I started a job nearly 5 months ago and about the 4th months I started going out on dates with a coworker. She is great very loving and friendly, however she works 2 full time jobs and only has Sunday’s off from her second job during the night. We have gone out on 3 dates so far and I actually met her parents on the 2nd date due to her birthday. I brought up being exclusive with her during Valentine’s Day which was a week after the 3rd date but she said to give it more time since she is way to busy with work and has no time really to be in a relationship due to time. I respectfully agreed so every Sunday when we get off work we talk about making plans for that evening , however recently she has declined past 3 weeks. Am I being to needy and asking her every Sunday? Not sure if I should give her few weeks of me not asking her and I do see her at work 5 days a week but maybe an 1 hour or less in the day.
Hey Joe – thanks for asking.
You definitely moved a little quick for her. I understand you see her at work a lot which makes it feel like it’s been longer, but you’ve only gone out on three dates which is way too early to be talking about being exclusive.
She’s now feeling pressured and is pulling away because of it.
I get it – it’s tough and hard to resist when you meet a woman you’re into and the timing is all wrong. Unfortunately it’s the reality of your situation. You can’t force her to give up more time for you and every time you ask her, you do appear needy, but worst – you’re putting lots of undue pressure on her.
Judged by what you said about her busy life, more pressure is not what she needs. She needs an escape. She needs to get away from it all, and if you’re not the guy to give it to her, she’s never going to budge.
I would tell her, “Hey, it’s all good.” and would probably start dating other women or in the very least, open up more opportunities for yourself.
Just keep in touch with her. NEVER bring up being exclusive or talk about the relationship ever again UNLESS she brings it up. You never know when her life will change and she’ll have time to actually give more to dating. She’s not there yet and unless you can make her feel some pretty deep emotional attachment and attraction towards you – she’s not going to shift her mindset.
Thanks for asking – hope this has helped you a little.
I’ve been reading articles/watching youtube videos and this article really nailed the main problem that guys like myself are going through. Was wondering if you can provide me some tips on how to move forward with this girl I really like.
Met this girl, went on a couple of dates, 3rd date or so told her I liked her and I’m looking for something serious(first mistake). She was ok with it and even said I was really direct about it and she liked that. Everything was going great for about a month then she started getting distant and non-responsive. Asked her what was going on and she responded with the “I don’t think I can do a relationship and it wasn’t fair to me text message”. Tried messaging her back but haven’t gotten any responses. I’ve since stopped messaging her but I do want to try it out with her again(but this time slower and gradually building a relationship) but I’m not sure if I should initiate the conversation(it’s been about a month and a half) or just keep doing my own thing? We have each other on social media so she’s watching my posts but I’ve started to ignore her. I don’t know if I’m approaching this the right way?
Hey Karma P – thanks man and I’ll see what I can do for you.
I don’t think you should initiate the conversation. Yeah – you got it, big mistake with telling her you like her and you were looking for something serious on the third.
It’s cool and all to let a woman know upfront what you’re expecting and even what you’re looking for… BUT: It seems like you went far too ahead of the more important elements, Creating attraction and a deep connection.
Meaning, as I believe it states in the article, you went into “relationship mode” too quickly AND not listed in the article, during that month she got lots of signals from you that made her feel like being your girlfriend, is not something she felt would be right.
You mentioned you wanted to move things slower and believe it or not, for lots of women that doesn’t seem to matter IF you’ve created lots of attraction and a deep emotional bond like she has never or rarely experienced before.
When YOU do those things right – YOU become in charge of the pace you want to move. YOU take the lead and when those items are satisfied and she can not get you out of her head AND she’s unsure of exactly how you feel – trust, you WILL be deciding of the pace. So… taking things slower may not help here and rarely does it solve the whole problem. As in your case.
Because once you revealed how much you liked her, and made the affirmation to her – she just wasn’t feeling it enough for you, so she eventually bailed.
Okay – you don’t tell a girl you like her, you show her by doing things together and by acting like a man – a leader – someone who KNOWS what he wants out of his life.
You don’t tell a woman you’re looking for something serious – you take relationships, life, and long-term goals seriously by acting that way, while at same time keeping everything light and fun with lots of emotional connections to her deep inner self.
AND women WILL get it, plus… that leaves you in charge, her a little apprehensive, her a little unsure, and at the same time while she’s enjoying her time with you, she’ll want more and more.
What To Do When A Woman Is Not Ready For A Relationship
The Final Step Of Getting A Girlfriend – Forming Natural Relationships
They will clear things up a bit and make sure you know which you are or are trying to get across to women. Are you a lover or a provider?
Lastly – Attraction is always key in these situations and I’m not talking about, oh she likes you, or she’s slightly attracted to you – I’m talking the kind that women find themselves unable to resist. If you study those communication skills fully, and then give her a few months to “forget” where you were at before, go ahead and send a long the right message to awaken her back up to your newfound charm, and be twice or more patient than you were last time. Let her see this,
“Sure – I’m in life to find a woman of my dreams. To marry. Have a great life. Maybe some kids. All that good stuff… BUT unless a woman proves to me without a doubt it’s her I want to go through it all with – I’m going to see where this goes.”
With a slightly cocky, very confident attitude, that sort-of accuses HER of moving too fast for you.
See the difference. It’s huge. AND it works beyond most guy’s imagination and willingness to dare try with a woman they’re smitten over.
Next, go through EVERYONE of David’s articles I have posted to teach you how that works:
David DeAngelo – The Best Expert In Dating & Attracting Great Women
And from his words exactly, LIVE your life in this manner as you’re learning these new skills of attractive communication:
Don’t let all this get you down – use it wisely. It’s a great learning tool. This lesson will stick with you forever.
You got that far so you’re doing lots of things right – a little tweak here, a little change there, a slight adjustment in attitude, a new mindset of abundance over scarcity, and before you know it…
You WILL be IN CHARGE of when, where, and how your next relationship begins.
All the best and thanks for everything.
I appreciate it, really do.
Pete, not sure what to say but thank you for this amazing feedback.
I will apply all this to my daily life and if it doesn’t work out with this girl, I know I’ll be ready for the next one. Thanks again Pete!
You’re welcome. You’ll definitely be ready either way.