18. Give The Women You Are Attracted to… Space.
One rule of attraction implicitly states, when we chase those we are attracted to, they will run quicker than Forest Gump on steroids.
If you want one way that will always separate you from any pack of needy and horny nice guys better known as the “hot girl’s entourage,” it is to step back and give her space.
Allow her to live her own life. Allow her to make her own mistakes and more importantly, allow her to learn from those mistakes. Allow her to miss you.
And most importantly – She must understand you’re not needy, clingy, and desperately starved for her attention.
“An independent, secure man does not NEED a woman for his approval. He can stand alone and separate of her opinion… Another way to show this is to allow for long pauses between contacts with a woman. Don’t email her right back. Don’t call her right back. How to Create (or Kill) Sexual Tension
When you smother any woman with too much affection and attention you have little hope in creating sexual tension.
You’ll be that nice guy friend or worse, you’ll be her “go to guy” when she’s experiencing problems with the guy who either keeps blowing her off or has too little time for her.
Let’s not get too deep into the reasons for this approval seeking or “urgent” act of a man who is scared he’s going to miss something. Let’s leave it at –
I’ve been “that” guy and this is a big reason why I wrote Nice Guy Tip 18 – I thought if I left her alone, she would leave me. She would find someone else. I acted out of fear and had every excuse to explain my actions.
The truth is…
Women are not inanimate objects you can keep for yourself.
They have feelings and experience emotions at every level in their lives. They need space and the room to live their independent existence. They also need the space to determine you are right choice for her.
If you’re struggling as a nice guy and despite anything you do, you just can not give her the space she needs I have a few tips for you:
- Date many women.
- When you meet a woman you really like, quickly go out and find others like her.
- Don’t be afraid to leave your phone at home once in a while.
- Don’t be afraid to turn the phone off during your most desperate times.
- Restrict how much you see her or contact her to at least half, maybe more depending where you’re at.
- If you want to call her and you know you’re appearing desperate, STOP and get yourself busy doing something else. I used to journal my reasoning in vivid details. The longer it took me to write, the better chance my sense of urgency would take over.
- In your weakest moments think of every clingy women who wouldn’t leave you alone and give yourself a hard smack.
- If a woman has ever told you to ‘get a life’ (yes it’s happened to me) she may not be too far off. Find some goals besides getting a girlfriend.
- This goes without saying – develop strong self-confidence and build your self-esteem.
- Always remember to allow any sexual moments to build naturally and never force the issue. If you don’t know how, learn the true art of seduction.
- If you’re struggling after a recent break up, read this: How to Get Over an Ex Girlfriend – Recovering From a Break-up
As a nice guy, fear is typically the ultimate cause of not giving a woman enough space.
If you’re seeing her now and you’re worried she is going to cheat on you, your fears will actually push her closer to that next guy.
Another cause of not giving her space is pure neediness for affection.
We all desire affection. It feels good. But I guarantee it’s going to feel better if you can hold back a little more each time.
The third cause of a nice guy’s inability to give a woman space is a need to be affirmed.
You don’t feel loved unless she is always reaffirming her love for you. As the old saying goes, you can only be loved as much as you love yourself. If you don’t even like yourself then women are not your problem and will never solve it for you, despite how many times she tells you how worthy you are.
ONE LAST TIP: When your emotions are beginning to overwhelm you and you must see her despite your intuition, come here and start reading until you pass out.
I’m always happy to put you to sleep if it keeps you from crowding that girl. 🙂