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18. Give Her Space.

18. Give Her Space. post image

18. Give The Women You Are Attracted to… Space.

One rule of attraction implicitly states, when we chase those we are attracted to, they will run quicker than Forest Gump on steroids.

If you want one way that will always separate you from any pack of needy and horny nice guys better known as the “hot girl’s entourage,” it is to step back and give her space.

Allow her to live her own life. Allow her to make her own mistakes and more importantly, allow her to learn from those mistakes. Allow her to miss you.

And most importantly – She must understand you’re not needy, clingy, and desperately starved for her attention.

“An independent, secure man does not NEED a woman for his approval. He can stand alone and separate of her opinion… Another way to show this is to allow for long pauses between contacts with a woman. Don’t email her right back. Don’t call her right back. How to Create (or Kill) Sexual Tension

When you smother any woman with too much affection and attention you have little hope in creating sexual tension.

You’ll be that nice guy friend or worse, you’ll be her “go to guy” when she’s experiencing problems with the guy who either keeps blowing her off or has too little time for her.

Let’s not get too deep into the reasons for this approval seeking or “urgent” act of a man who is scared he’s going to miss something. Let’s leave it at –

I’ve been “that” guy and this is a big reason why I wrote Nice Guy Tip 18 – I thought if I left her alone, she would leave me. She would find someone else. I acted out of fear and had every excuse to explain my actions.

The truth is…

Women are not inanimate objects you can keep for yourself.

They have feelings and experience emotions at every level in their lives. They need space and the room to live their independent existence. They also need the space to determine you are right choice for her.

If you’re struggling as a nice guy and despite anything you do, you just can not give her the space she needs I have a few tips for you:

  • Date many women.
  • When you meet a woman you really like, quickly go out and find others like her.
  • Don’t be afraid to leave your phone at home once in a while.
  • Don’t be afraid to turn the phone off during your most desperate times.
  • Restrict how much you see her or contact her to at least half, maybe more depending where you’re at.
  • If you want to call her and you know you’re appearing desperate, STOP and get yourself busy doing something else. I used to journal my reasoning in vivid details. The longer it took me to write, the better chance my sense of urgency would take over.
  • In your weakest moments think of every clingy women who wouldn’t leave you alone and give yourself a hard smack.
  • If a woman has ever told you to ‘get a life’ (yes it’s happened to me) she may not be too far off. Find some goals besides getting a girlfriend.
  • This goes without saying – develop strong self-confidence and build your self-esteem.
  • Always remember to allow any sexual moments to build naturally and never force the issue. If you don’t know how, learn the true art of seduction.
  • If you’re struggling after a recent break up, read this: How to Get Over an Ex Girlfriend – Recovering From a Break-up

As a nice guy, fear is typically the ultimate cause of not giving a woman enough space.

If you’re seeing her now and you’re worried she is going to cheat on you, your fears will actually push her closer to that next guy.

Another cause of not giving her space is pure neediness for affection.

We all desire affection. It feels good. But I guarantee it’s going to feel better if you can hold back a little more each time.

The third cause of a nice guy’s inability to give a woman space is a need to be affirmed.

You don’t feel loved unless she is always reaffirming her love for you. As the old saying goes, you can only be loved as much as you love yourself. If you don’t even like yourself then women are not your problem and will never solve it for you, despite how many times she tells you how worthy you are.

ONE LAST TIP: When your emotions are beginning to overwhelm you and you must see her despite your intuition, come here and start reading until you pass out.

I’m always happy to put you to sleep if it keeps you from crowding that girl. 🙂

Click here for the next tip – Confidence

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114 comments… add one
  • Tony Berry

    I met a girl a week ago and already met her mom and she claims to tell all her friends and sister about me. They supposedly all approve of her being with me. I am a 27 year old Marine and in college and she is 18 year old college student, we both stay in the same town.

    So far things have been great, she has:
    – shown a crap ton of interest in me
    – listed what she likes about me
    – doesn’t let our text convos end
    – introduced me to her mom
    – tells her friends and family about me
    – been on 1 official date and 1 coffee date with another already planned

    She has told me about other guys approaching her, maybe to gauge my reaction, but i responded in a playful manner, not being phased. All has been well, I guess my main concern is keeping her interested. She wants to take things slow though she likes me a lot and has already expressed futuristic thoughts of cooking for me, putting on my tie, and waking up next to me. I haven’t texted her today because we texted for a good few hours the night prior and even got to the point of sexting a bit until we both fell asleep. I want her to miss me and I don’t want to burn our relationship out, which she has mentioned she feel is forming. She just doesn’t want to rush.

    What do you think? My thoughts are of these other guys the are supposedly approaching she could be texting them while not talking to me. But that could be my insecurity though she has told me that no other guy has gotten her number because they haven’t come close to me.

    • Hey Tony, I wouldn’t worry about keeping her interest. Just keep her attraction up. The interest will generally take care of itself unless you’re the most boring guy in the world. Which I’m sure you’re not. You’re probably pretty cool because 1. You came here. 2. You were not afraid to ask for advice meaning you’re a real guy. 3. Because instead of freaking out, you thought about it and searched for what to do. Knowledge is power especially when used correctly.

      Listen, she’s 18. Of course she’s going to talk to others guys. She’s in college, of course guys will approach her. You handled it fine. BUT you must never forget being of that age, a commitment from her might be short or come with a price. Women at that age tend to change… a lot. You could easily be out of the picture when that happens. I wouldn’t worry about it though because if you start acting like you’re going to lose her, you will more likely make that happen.

      Another thing, women (lots) will always SAY they want to take things slow but it really means she wants you to decide the pace. Take your time and enjoy it as much has you can because I have bad news and good news. You want the good news first:

      She’s into you. She likes the idea of a mature guy. It’s grounding her a little at a time where life is hectic and confusing. College life man, it’s a ball, lots of fun, but very stressful.

      That’s the good news.

      The bad news is she might be too much into you. She’s progressing so fast, she will burn the relationship out which will cause her to want to separate to gather her emotions and decide where she wants to go. It’s not YOU. It’s her. You will hear that. But it’s true. Remember she’s 18, moving too quickly and this is how women of that age tend to act.

      Don’t take it personal. Don’t change what you’re doing because it’s working.

      I do hope I’m wrong but you should be prepared and enjoy it. Sounds wonderful. You don’t want to know what I was doing at the age of 27 and dating an 18 year old college student was not one of them. In other words you’re doing just fine.

      Best of luck, keep me informed.

      Thanks for writing, I appreciate it and hope this has helped,

  • Rex Tyler

    Here’s a tidbit to know in regards to the girl you really are interested into with space. With this woman, if you think she is meant to be with you, then there should be no fear, because she will at the end of the day. You just need infinite patience and too remember that no one girl will be more important than you, and that by worrying about literally nothing, you can be having so much more fun. Remember my dudes, life keeps happening even if you don’t want it to. Just have to float and vibe with it 🙂

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