Not that fake bravado shit.
The real thing.
This tip is here for that reason and because most nice guys believe this when they’re struggling attracting woman and are told they just have to be confident:
“How can I be confident when I don’t have any successes with women? Doesn’t being confident come from being successful in the first place?
“What is the easiest simplest way I can boost my confidence with women when I don’t have much experience with women?”
Today’s tip or (lesson in attraction) will cover what confidence really, how you can get it, how to use it the right way AND why it’s so attractive to women.
You know I used to believe confidence only comes from success myself and I’m very proud to admit…
I was wrong!
What I learned about confidence is much more exciting and makes it so much easier to build your confidence quickly.
How you HANDLE your successes.
How you HANDLE your failures.
Confidence alone won’t attract women. (Generally speaking of course because there are exceptions.)
HOW you communicate your REAL confidence to women and people will determine your overall attractiveness to them.
All your failures with women can be used to build your confidence.
Any new successes you have can also be used to build your confidence.
Think about the last great success you experienced and how you felt after it happened.
Bet it felt great. It was fulfilling.
But how long did that feeling really last?
Probably not that long at all.
Now think about your last failure where you were able to learn from it and handle it with maturity.
One where you really learned something profound from it.
How long did that feeling last and how confident do you feel attempting that very same thing again? (Or something similar.)
This shift in thinking and a new mindset will do wonders for your confidence with women.
FAILURE can work for you and not against you, IF you’re willing to learn from it.
Let’s get real scientific about this subject.
“Confidence is generally described as a state of being certain either that a hypothesis or prediction is correct or that a chosen course of action is the best or most effective.
Self-confidence is having confidence in oneself.”
But that’s just a definition explaining what it is and doesn’t come close to telling how or why it’s attractive to women.
It also doesn’t show you HOW to gain confidence because it implies one of two things:
- Being certain when you do or try something you will fail.
- Being certain when you do or try something, you will succeed.
You must admit BOTH are probable and by that definition above, either case is true.
You can be self-confident when you believe or know for certain something you do will either work… or not work.
So confidence as a definition does little to help you attract women, right?
Well not really so keep reading.
What about this more important aspect of confidence and attraction…
(…) one may be inept at a particular sport or activity, but remain ‘confident’ in one’s demeanor, simply because one does not place a great deal of emphasis on the outcome of the activity.
When one does not dwell on negative consequences one can be more ‘self-confident’ because one is worrying far less about failure or the disapproval of others following potential failure.
One is then more likely to focus on the actual situation which means that enjoyment and success in that situation is also more probable.
Belief in one’s abilities to perform an activity comes through successful experience and may add to, or consolidate, a general sense of self-confidence
Now you’re getting closer.
The key words above are:
- Not placing a great deal of emphasis on the outcome. Some call it indifference and is considered an attractive trait.
- Worrying less about failure or the disapproval of others. Yes, one more attractive trait.
- Not dwelling on negative consequences such as being rejected by a woman. You guessed it by now – another attractive trait.
- Focusing on the moment more leads to more enjoyment and a higher probability of success. Yep – attractive trait.
- Belief in one’s ability or skill MAY contribute to higher degree of self-confidence. And just one more attractive trait.
You can now see WHY confidence is such a powerful thing to have and why it’s so attractive….
And you’ve only just begun.
Now from the “master” himself, how does all that relate to confidence and attracting women…
I’ve said it a bazillion times… great women don’t see a man as potential “relationship material” based on his looks, money, or cheesy pick-up lines.
When it comes to figuring out if a particular guy might be “Mr. Right,” the first thing most women look for are sure signs of CONFIDENCE.
More specifically, the 4 unmistakable, magnetic signals that confident men send a woman the moment they meet her.
- An “Easy-Going” Attitude
- He’s “Put Together”
- He’s Humble
- He Has A Sense of Humor
Okay… I’m a musician.
A musician has to perform an audition to be admitted into a certain college.
Since I was entering as a percussion major I was required to play three pieces. One on the snare drum, one on the tympani, and one on a choice instrument which I so stupidly decided to be the Marimba.
Well I came from a very poor school. Our Tympani was un-tuneable, we didn’t own a Marimba and we were stuck with a suitcase size Bells far from the Marimba which required four mallets to be held and played.
So how did I gain the confidence I needed to pass my audition when I couldn’t practice on workable instruments?
How could I have possibly gain the skills required to build the obvious self-confidence I was going to need to stand in front of three major players in a dark room with no one to hold my hand or encourage me?
The truth was – I couldn’t!
I took some lessons at another college where I had forty minutes to use the real stuff and a very smart man to teach me.
But that was it.
I was working nights in a supermarket, going to school during the day, and practiced when I could and faked what I could on my bed with a drum pad.
Here is what I did or tried to build my confidence.
I gathered my “band” mates and what instruments I had and performed my audition in front of my closest peers. I was hoping to give my confidence a boost before the real deal.
But it just wasn’t the same.
So at the audition you can only imagine the fear I felt when the lights went down. I had to perform with my hands shaking and my mind racing as I stared at a real Marimba and a tune-able Tympani.
The opening silence was eerie.
BUT I realized something that day.
Sure my self-confidence and my knowledge of the pieces were solid. They were completely memorized and ready but that really didn’t help me feel better about it.
I was not CERTAIN what would happen.
I could not predict based on any real evidence I wouldn’t crash and burn.
All I could do was face what was the greatest fear of my life in a positive way and stay with each and every note like it was going to be the last one I ever played for anyone.
And it humbled me.
I joked with the three major players first. I felt put together because I could see every note in my head.
I relaxed and with an easy going attitude let my body do what it was trained to do – and I became so wrapped up in the moment I left no room for negativity.
I’m sure I inspired them that day because I passed. I screwed up a little but I didn’t let it stop me.
And I’m also positive I inspired some confidence in themselves as they watched and thought back about their first big audition.
Now – when it comes to women and gaining the self-confidence it’s going to sometimes feel like an audition.
You’re going to sweat.
You’re going to shake.
You’re going to feel fear which feels like nothing you’ve ever experienced.
But the key here is to face it head on.
Face it with the ease and comfort that the only thing that matters is that one real moment.
Inspire HER confidence by being aware, humble, at ease the best you can, and lighten the mood with a rock solid sense of humor that says you DO NOT take these little things so seriously.
Sure this lesson in confidence may not solve all your problems or instantly transform you into a rock-solid confident man, BUT you have to realize all you can do is the best you can at any given moment and let your natural ability or learned skills do what they’re trained to do.
And I can practically guarantee this whole confidence thing will take care of itself.
Attracting women with confidence will come down to how strong your state of mind is and how you handle those truly stressful moments.
How you and your attitude inspires her confidence in herself and not you.
The really cool part about this all – practice your skills – work on yourself – find and eliminate those flaws you feel you have – gain the inner strength and learn the more predictable laws of attraction – because your self-confidence has absolutely nothing to do with being nice.
You can be Mister Nice and Mister Cool and still demonstrate unshakable confidence without having to sacrifice this whole nice thing you’re living with right now.
Confidence is a barrier.
It helps to protect your inner self.
It’s about facing your fears despite the outcome.
It’s about handling your successes with modesty and helping others through it.
It’s about handling your failures so you can learn something from them.
It’s also about inspiring others, especially women, to feel more confident just being around you.
Confidence IS one of the the most attractive traits any man can have, achieve and share, ( nice or not, ) because for one reason only – a general ability to deal with all the issues in life and to lead yourself through it by valuing yourself enough to want to do it.
You can now see how building your confidence you NEED experience, and to gain that experience you must FACE many of your FEARS with women.
You can not sit at home and think your way into feeling confident.
You must DO something.
You must TRAIN yourself by doing.
You must FAIL in order to learn.
BUT… you can learn the right skills to practice.
Going out with anything less is not going to help you succeed.
The process will come slowly.
Too slowly for most which is why great people like all the experts at DiaLteG TM have already been through it and want to show you HOW to decrease how long it takes to learn the skills and to make sure you’re TRYING something which is already proven to work.
The DOING part is where your confidence is built.
Doing something different and learning from your mistakes will equally build your self-confidence.
Confidence is obviously attractive because just by being confident and real about it, you INSPIRE OTHERS to FEEL CONFIDENT in you, and in themselves too.
Which is why being able to communicate your confidence to women is equally as important. If you don’t know how to do that – she could miss it or not see it.
Being positive. Staying positive despite setbacks or failures.
Having optimism and believing, one way or another, everything will work itself out and it’s going to be okay.
It’s about trust – trust in yourself and trusting others to take care of themselves and their own needs.
Trusting your abilities and in your skills so you do them right and focus on the moment and enjoying it.
Being assertive and going after the things you want in a way which positively drives you forward even if a moment or event pushes you back a little.
Your perception of the world around you and how by not seeing others are better than you – but that we ALL struggle and have to make our own way through life.
It’s about believing in yourself.
Believing you can succeed.
Believing you ARE worth it.
It’s not about thinking you’re better than everyone else just because you might excel at something they don’t or struggle with from time to time.
Confidence is not about putting yourself above others by putting them down.
It’s about building yourself up and you’re only allowed to compare yourself and your success to yourself and not others.
Real true genuine confidence is a humbling experience and is not achieved by claiming victory over others or believing you’re better than them.
You’ll find lots of examples of being attractive and confident in the same list as being a real Alpha Male. Read this when you get a chance:
So there you have it…
Not everything and anything on being self-confident but more than a good start in the right direction and HOW easy it really is to achieve for any guy regardless of your past failures or struggles with women.
Thanks for coming by today and I do hope you’re walking away a little more confident than you were before you read today’s article.
Confidence WILL come for you. I strongly believe it now that you know where it comes from and the RIGHT way to build it.
Continue or start to learn some new skills and knowledge so you can feel confident in both what works and what doesn’t work.
Failure is an option and when you gain new insight and knowledge from it – you WILL become more confident in your abilities and skills.
Trust in those skills so you can enjoy the moment and perform each and everyone of them with ease and, you guessed it -confidence.
Stop dwelling on any failures or negative consequences so you can once again, enjoy every moment the best you can and in turn, inspire and inject confidence into others.
All leads to a much higher probability of success, not just with women, but in EVERY area of your life.
All also leads you to a natural Alpha Male mindset AND gives you the traits that NATURALLY attract women:
- An easy going attitude.
- Being put together.
- Being humble.
- A sense of humor.
You’ll want a daily dose of real confidence.
Not some stupid Meme shit people post on social media which is generally unrelated to YOUR life and YOUR relationships with women… this is what helped me and will BOOST your confidence too.
It’s called 77 Laws Of Success Women and Dating.
Inexpensive but extremely powerful laws you can go through everyday to set your life up to be more confident and succeed with women.
I personally bought it years ago and would listen to it while I was working out and began following ALL of the laws. My confidence SOARED.
I also took it one step further to assure it worked for me and carefully wrote down EVERY LAW in a notebook. From there – I checked things off and wrote down how that specific law was related to my life and my ultimate success and confidence with women.
Here’s the teaser – go to David’s page for the rest.
The Keys To Massive Confidence In Life – the special 5-minute exercise that turboboosts your confidence so women can literally feel your presence when you walk into a room.
The #1 secret skill that ALL “naturals” have that brings them outrageous success with women throughout their lives. After you master this, you will have women competing over you.
How to set up your life so you are constantly meeting interesting, attractive, available women… without having to go out of your way… and in a way that drives them to want to meet YOU.
How to plan out your life for ultimate success with women, from the little things to the big, and create a life of success for yourself, where working to meet and attract women is simply something that you don’t have to do.
I posted a pre-written article for women on another site and wanted to share this last piece of information with you to help you GET THE CONFIDENCE to achieve attractive success with women!
It was written for women by James Bauer – who is a dating/relationship coach for women only.
Letting go of fear becomes easier when you accept “failure” as a valuable strategy. Dorothea Brande has been quoted for her famous statement on the best method to achieve success,
“Act as though it is impossible to fail.”
Combine this with the wisdom of T.J. Watson, the president of IBM.
“Would you like the formula for success?”
“Double your rate of failure.”
How can you succeed by failing more often?
Many successful people swear by this method. If you are always cautious and terrified of mistakes, you don’t try much and you don’t learn much.
People who are willing to fail embrace it and lose their fear of taking action in the process.
When it comes to dating… you will fail some of the time.
The only way to be highly confident when dating is to accept failure as a part of the dating process.
Don’t think of setbacks and letdowns as something terrible that needs to be controlled at all costs.
Instead, embrace failure as something natural that is “okay.” Embracing this simple shift in your belief system can dramatically increase your confidence.
Always Know Your BATNA
BATNA stands for “best alternative to negotiated agreement.” It’s a concept that has been extremely useful to me in many different areas of my life.
Basically, it’s about forming an unshakable sense of certainty when negotiating for what you want.
Imagine you go to your landlord to complain about the broken stairway railing. Knowing your BATNA before you start the conversation gives you a tremendous advantage (and boosts your confidence).
Let’s say you have nowhere else to live and know you can’t afford the other rental options in town. In that case, your best alternative to getting him to agree to fix that railing might be to ignore it for a while.
On the other hand, you may have plenty of options for other rental situations.
In that case, your BATNA is clear.
If, after negotiating for a few minutes, he does not agree to have it fixed on his dime by next Friday, you tell him you are moving out at the end of the month.
Suddenly you have the upper hand in the negotiation. You can afford to push the issue, because if he doesn’t eventually agree, you can pull out your BATNA.
In this case, your BATNA is to threaten moving out, because you know it really is a better option to you than living with the broken banister.
For those who are interested in reading it, go for it and feel free to pass it on to any women who might need it:
Your BATNA for building your confidence in life and with women all starts here: