20. Invest in Yourself!
The phrase “become more selfish so you be selfless” is something some nice guys must learn to live by and it’s just one of the reasons why this is tip 20.
This tip – invest in yourself, came about when I realized you can almost take “girls” out of the equation of attraction and still attract some pretty amazing real and genuine women.
Sure you’re going to have to interact or engage the female side but I can tell you “they” have such little to do with how attractive you appear to them.
I think that’s where the nice guy fails himself all too often.
He believes if “I do this for her” or asks “What does it mean when she…” or wonders “How can I get the girl I’ve been in love with for so long?” he loses a piece of himself that’s so important.
He misses the one thing he has control over – HIS ACTIONS!
Investing in yourself (and I chose that word very carefully) is similar to investing long-term.
“Are you the passive Bob or the understanding Dave? Both are nice guys but only one demonstrates the kind of men women want and date regularly.
You won’t suddenly be “rich” tomorrow.
You can’t just think of a phrase or three words that women will be suddenly be begging for you.
It just does NOT happen that way.
If you do meet a woman who will sleep with you that quickly it had little to do with anything that came out of a spur of the moment feeling she felt in her pants She probably had the idea in her head before she left the house that she was going to “get laid” tonight and you were in the right place, at the right time.
So do that.
Put yourself in the right place at the right time.
Assure yourself when that moment does arrive, you’re ready for it because those “lucky” moments will not predictable.
They will only become more probable.
What about your long-term relationships with women?
Do you want to be the best man for the one woman you feel is your soul-mate?
Well the more you have of yourself the more you’ll have to give…
The more you understand the better you’ll be equipped to function on a level of masculinity she’ll not only respect fully but she’ll never question that you are, without a doubt, the right man for her.
Women are NOT looking for perfection.
By sitting back and doing nothing for yourself you’re (in a way) telling her you are perfect and never have to better yourself.
I understand you might not want to change. I understand how tough it is. I understand you want women to just “like you” for who you are.
And that’s okay.
But you don’t have to start disrespecting those around you to gain her attraction.
You DO have to enable the traits that produce attraction and work on the skills to build the emotions inside her which make you irresistible.
And that requires you to invest some time in yourself.
That requires you to enjoy your alone time.
That requires you to consider what you’re doing may not be working.
That requires you to learn and put in practice the essential tools you can so easily gather.
Live your life everyday and evolve yourself with each opportunity and you will experience amazing results.
Keep investing in yourself “long-term” and learn to live in the those new moments you create along the way.
Your path is your own to take and unlike some cheesy movies might make you believe – there is not one path you should be taking.
No one can take it for you.
No one can force you to do it.
No one can climb inside your mind and experience your world.
So make it your own.
Make it a very unique place.
Then learn to share yourself with the women you meet because sometimes that’s all they really need to feel something more for you than just a friendship.
A that anybody can reasonably ask from you is that you try to be the best possible version of yourself at any given time.
Problems arise when you start thinking you don’t deserve it, women, or to live a happier life.
Problems arise when you start thinking just because you fucked something small up – it’s going to change your entire world.
Problems pile up and become bigger and harder to deal with because of negativity and a lack of self-worth. They mix with desperation and a feeling of helplessness which causes so many of us to just want to give up.
A lot of that happens because we try to change the things around us which we have no control over and get frustrated when nothing does change.
This is why – investing in yourself is so important.
You DO have control over YOUR choices, YOUR actions, YOUR self-worth, YOUR value to the world and the women in it, and by focusing YOUR energy in that direction some amazing things can and will happen.
I won’t lie. It’s not perfect. There is some “luck” factor and probability or chance can be a spiteful thing but…
“Changing our luck with women without becoming “Mister Manipulation” might mean changing our views about it all. It might mean coming to conclusions which are a little different than we have in the past.
By learning these tools, investing in ourselves, preparing properly for those moments puts us in that better position to be the best person we can be AT that given time.
That’s how you start succeeding where you might have failed in the past.
Not by wallowing in the past.
Not by regretting what happened before.
Not by reliving a failed relationship hoping she’ll come back.
Not by repeating a mistake over and over again hoping this time something different will happen.
Not by giving yourself and the whole of who you are to every woman you’re attracted to – hoping she’ll like you back.
Not by the need to spend every available moment with her because you’re afraid she’ll meet another guy who’s better then you.
Not by kissing her ass and trying to give her what you think she wants when she only needs to feel something a “present or gift” can never do.
None of that actually creates attraction or will have women knocking at your door at three in the morning for a quickie.
You already know that, don’t you?
You may have to give up some things to become that better man. I’ve done it and I wouldn’t ask any guy to do something I have not done myself.
You can start by learning to say no where you may have been in the habit of saying yes – especially to women.
You might have to give up some people in your life that are affecting you negatively. But if it’s for the best of you – then do it.
As you go through your “man transformation” process and become an attractive man woman respect and seek out, there will be some downsides.
There will be dead ends and some really tough times when you just want to give up.
We all go through it in any new way of living life.
I want to assure you they WILL pass and as long as you stick to a plan that’s working – you’ll get through them.
Everyday just keep yourself on a track that produces results. Everyday just give a little to yourself and your cause.
REMEMBER – You do NOT have to change the world.
You only have to continue to move forward.
Learn to increase your attractiveness to women by giving more to yourself and you’ll have more to give every woman you meet… for as long as you live.
That’s kind of what this “nice guy tip” is really about.
Invest in yourself – change what you have control over – build yourself into the best possible version you can be at any given time – don’t let other steal your worth by handing it over to them or making you feel you’re not worth it…
And in turn, you WILL have more to give to her, a relationship, a family, a friend, and the list goes on.
Thanks for going through all my nice guy tips… I do sincerely hoped you’ve learned something which can help you attract women and still see yourself as one of the good guys,