Making the first move is a tough thing to do for any guy - but the nice guy tends to struggle with it the most.
It's a big reason why too many of you get thrown in the friends zone or miss out on some really good opportunities with a girl.
Which is why this is nice guy tip number 3.
When this tip was first published it was a let down because the advice given in the title was, "Don't be afraid to make the first move when the moment arrives."
Easy to say - easy to post - hard to do or help anyone when all you're saying is - don't be afraid. Right?
So - all bad advice and tips and aside, let's take care of this problem once and for all.
There are many ways to look at this to help you.
You need courage. That will eliminate MANY of your fears or help you get past them.
You need a plan. That will eliminate some of the nervousness around her.
Your plan includes making sure you're creating attraction and the right amount of sexual tension and chemistry.
You need confidence. That should help you get past the pull away or being rejected and in many areas of your life with women.
You need knowledge. Knowing things will generally give you a sense of security so you feel safe enough to make the first move.
You need skills and/or experience. Obviously the better you are at kissing, the more likely you'll be okay with making the first move AND the more experience you get from it - the easier it become.
You need to start looking at all this from HER point of view.
You also need to understand one important fact about making the first move.
(especially regarding the nice guy thing)...
When you don't make the first move - it's obvious nothing is likely to happen between you and her BUT do you know what a FIRST MOVE really is?
Guess what... it's not always a kiss. The first move only needs to be an assured movement which tells you a woman you're NOT interested in just being he friend.
Which means ANY form of intimacy which shows her you're interested in her beyond friendship (as long as it's clear and she's actually aware of it happening AND it's face to face personal) IS MAKING the FIRST MOVE.
Makes things a lot easier on you, doesn't it?
You could just lean in for a kiss while casually missing her lips and then whisper something amusing yet sexual in her ear.
That alone will send a very clear message what you are all about and that you're a nice guy who happens to be a real man too with a sexual side of course.
So the "first move" doesn't have to be a kiss - sometimes it's a real hug, hand-holding, breaking the touch barrier in a non-friendly way, brushing back her hair lightly, teasing her, and the list goes on...
ANYTHING which shows her or lets her know... it's coming and just because it didn't happen now, doesn't mean you don't want it to happen.
Let's move on...
COURAGE & Eliminating Your Fears
Rejection sucks. It really does. You know it. I know it. Women know it. Even a dog gets hurt (or acts like it) when he's rejected.
The thing is - you've probably done lots of things in your life where you had to courageous and whether it worked out or not... you got through it.
EVERYONE at some point in their life has stood up to at least one fear of theirs and made it through it.
Can you think when it happened to you?
Listen, we're talking about something trivial here and there's no "sugar-coating" it for you.
You're not putting your life on the line. You're not facing something a billion plus - yes BILLIONS have done in their life.
See it for what it is and you'll be more than just fine.
What helped me (and let me tell you this fear for me was crippling for years) was not quotes (although they were cool and all) or even encouragement... I took the easy way out.
My strategy was to just get the girl to make the first move on me. Believe me that's not as difficult as it sounds but it only got me so far. It didn't make me any more courageous.
What actually proved to help the most was to face OTHER fears in my life and then put it all in perspective. Really - just making a move on a woman became so unimportant I just went for it... and everything worked out fine.
The simplest strategy to gain courage is to put yourself in situations where you will naturally have to face your fear.
And it works.
Another helpful tip which works is to STOP putting so much emphasis on the outcome.
Think of the worst thing that could happen IF, and yes IF you get rejected and put it all in perspective.
The world won't end. It's not even the end of you and her. You could STILL get the girl. Yes, you can.
It's just a first move man - that's it.
If you have ANY problems at all with overcoming this fear and you still can not find the courage after reading this page - COMMENT ME BELOW your story or problem and I will do whatever I can to help you out.
Have a PLAN & Know What Comes Next
You must set things up so you can go from one step to the next because you'll naturally feel less nervous and less apprehensive about what to do.
Having a plan works almost every time.
Set up more moment so the first move happens more naturally.
That's your plan.
You CAN do that.
Think about where things like this happen naturally, get her excited a little, create some attraction, make a REAL emotional connection...
And then create an intimate moment which feels a little anxious like something is about to happen.
And then go for it!
While you're on a date there's going to be plenty of times where this can happen IF you do it right.
Take her out to dinner and you'll struggle finding the right moment. That's a BAD plan.
Go somewhere exciting.
Find a place where you can connect and move to a more romantic place or setting and you will naturally find you and her in a position for something to happen.
That's a REAL plan.
CONFIDENCE Makes Going For it... EASY!
Let's be real here - you're not going to be shown everything you need to know about confidence and building it in a few paragraphs on a page.
PLUS a lot of the the confidence you build for yourself actually comes from how you handle your failures and not your success.
Therefore if you tried to kiss a few girls or make the first move and it didn't work out - and it's now causing you to even visit this page - then you know that you're confidence is low causing you to avoid another rejection, right?
Well my friend - you don't have low confidence because you failed, you have a low confidence because of how you handled your defeat, previous failures, and even all your successes.
Confidence is a very strange illusive and perhaps non-existent feeling you have about yourself. Meaning - whether it exists or not remains to be proven.
My younger days were spent practicing a lot of music and golf. Two extremely difficult skills to master - possibly impossible.
When the golf game wasn't working out others would say you just have to be more confident - didn't help much. (Same probably goes for you... when you fail with a woman they say you just have to be more confident. Total bullshit,right?)
I would take a few important seconds and think all I wanted that I was going to pull off the shot and then let it rip. ONLY to watch the some of the worst shots of my life.
No matter how many times I pulled it off in practice, bringing it to my game proved to be impossible.
However the same did not apply to music. When I practiced a piece and had it down - I could easily bring it out in public. Sure there was a few mistakes. It wasn't always perfect - but it worked.
What was the difference?
Why did my golf game (with decades of experience in teaching and playing) fail me at times when my music "game" rarely ever did?
The simple answer is because I'm a much better musician than a golfer. It was almost like I was born a musician. I started at a young age and continued to refine my craft for decades.
Whereas the golfing career didn't start until later in life making it much more difficult to access the parts of my brain needed. Mind you, more difficult, not impossible.
So instead of treating my golf game like a child might learn a new skill - I tried using my ADULT brain to solve a problem that didn't even exist.
What does this have to do with you and your confidence with women?
NUMBER ONE: You were BORN designed to attract women!
The blueprint is already there. Just like my music to me, somewhere inside you it FEELS like you born with the ability to attract women - and if THAT doesn't give your confidence a boost - we need to talk.
NUMBER TWO: You can NOT expect your ADULT brain to solve a problem like this by using LOGIC. It will not work.
Practice being confident or telling yourself all you want but it's not going to work very often. Sometimes it might but it's not a reliable source.
Confidence is not something you're going to get or find through thinking.
It's a PURE belief in yourself as a MAN that you were born to attract a WOMAN.
You'd certainly feel confident if you knew with little doubt that every woman you met wanted you - wouldn't you?
You see - the difference in the two "games" above came down to a feeling in myself and a belief which is not a problem therefore can not be solved logically.
Erase or replace your doubts.
ADMIT you're a man and the male is quite literally born to be counterpart of a female.
Of course you DO need certain skills and communication techniques. You also must understand the genetic differences between men and women as it relates to the human mating rituals.
By the way which is something, as a man you were NOT born with which is why this has eluded you until now.
Something which is explain in this video for as long as it is up:
The Four Laws Of Attraction
Attraction law #1: Men and women come hardwired to feel attraction to one another BUT…
Attraction law #2: Men and women have different attraction maps.
Attraction law #3: Every system has a key which unlocks it AND…
Attraction law #4: If you know the human mating dance then you know what to do to trigger her attraction for you.
SORRY, the video is only available a couple times a year. Sign in on that page to be notified when or go here: Advanced Dating Techniques.
You can also pick up the STARTER course for $14.97 right here:
Once you admit these truths and OWN up to them as a man - you WILL find your CONFIDENCE as it relates to dating and women.
And you'll NEVER fear making the first move on a woman ever again.
Let's move on before confusion total sets in and give you something very important...
KNOWLEDGE & Knowing When To Go For it!
Knowledge is the easiest things to acquire but just having knowledge alone won't make a difference.
However - being secure in a belief that you know what you're doing (or strangely enough) that you've done your homework can make transitioning from one area to the next much easier and less nerve wracking.
Knowledge also boosts you confidence in a way.
When you're self-assured about something, anything, you're more likely to follow through with it.
All this transcends to making the first move in many ways.
If you knew without a doubt a woman was so madly attracted to you, you'd certainly make the first move, wouldn't you?
If you knew you were not going to be rejected - then the only thing that would stop you would be a fear of success.
Having knowledge makes you ACT differently and more confidently because you have less fears and feel like everything is going to turn out good.
The knowledge you need in making the first move then comes down to a few things:
- Understanding attraction and how to create it.
- Believing in your ability to turn on a woman.
- Assuring yourself she's open to your advancement.
If you're unsure in any of those areas - you will hesitate or rely more on OTHER things to get you by which is fine BUT if you want to eliminate all your concerns or all the reasons why you might delay making the first move - it's definitely helpful to cover EVERYTHING.
Here's some knowledge on kissing...
"In one of my late nights on the town I found myself kissing a young woman who needed my help. Her kissing was awful. So she very politely and sexually asked me to show her how. This is how it went. This is a medium resource with some weird truthful facts about kissing and a few great guides to help you learn."
Here's some knowledge on creating sexual tension...
"One thing that is critical for developing attraction with a woman that will lead to your eventual seduction success is learning how to build and nurture the sexual tension between you."
Here's some knowledge on how to tell if a woman is into you or not OR how to tell if she's interested...
“Dispel the myth in trying to read a woman’s signals of being interested or attracted to you during your interaction with her. This tells it all. Looking for signals can be a waste of time. Just know if you’re interacting with her and she’s responding positively with you, then assume she’s interested in you and it’s on.”
“It’s okay to want a woman but you must avoid needing her. When you look for all the signs that she is interested in you keep that one piece of advice close because it means everything. Three areas to look for interest is her actions, her words, and her body language. Here are some examples to follow.”
The knowledge you need in attraction goes a little deeper so you'll have to pick up some some real outside help for that but luckily for you it's not that expensive.
That's the discounted link below and it's the exact book I used which means I know it's for real and will give you all the knowledge you'll need to know about understanding attraction.
ATTRACTION isn't a choice. It's an emotional reaction.
ATTRACTION is nature's way of taking over our minds and bodies long enough to make sure that we mate with someone with the best possible genes.
I realize that this sounds pretty "clinical" and lame, but it's the damn truth.
Attraction isn't concerned with you, her, or love. It's evolved over a loooong period of time, and it has a purpose that is very important.
ATTRACTION isn't logical, in the sense that it isn't created by things that "should" create it.
Buying women dinner and gifts, giving lots of compliments when you first meet a woman, and kissing up to women to get their approval are examples of "logical" things that SHOULD create attraction... but the truth is, they don't.
When you understand how attraction works, you begin to see that it has a "logic" all its own.
If you really want to understand, once and for all, how attractions really works...
Download David's ebook: Attraction Isn't A Choice
SKILLS - Knowing HOW & When it's Perfect!
Having the right skills is similar to knowledge might deals more with actual interactions and techniques you can rely on to help you making the first move.
They also require some form of experience or else it's just knowledge.
They tend to work together but sometimes one comes before the other and sometimes the other comes first.
Rightly so these are separated here for reasons which might be purely aesthetic. You can discuss that below if you like but it doesn't really matter as long as everything is covered one way or another.
Here is some knowledge which move to your skills at some point.
So you KNOW they work which is knowledge and when you see it work or gain some experience from it - then you're learning the SKILL.
Making out with a girl quickly...
"What to do, what to look for, signs that it is working and practice to perfection. A real proven method to making out with a girl very quickly in a bar. Knowing which women to look for, how she's dressed, what her eyes are doing, is she ready to kiss, looking at her mouth and having her look back."
Getting a girl ready for your kiss...
"Triangular gazing and a psychological concept called mirroring coupled together can be applied as a "technique" and get any girl to want to kiss you."
Sexy guys GET women therefore if you can be just a little more sexier than you were yesterday - you're going to succeed.
This is under skills instead of knowledge because it includes practical advice you can put in practice to make you a sexy guy.
When you believe women want you - because you're sexy - NOTHING will stop you from making the first move on her.
"Being sexy is NOT all about how you look or how good-looking you are.
Step 6 of “11 Steps on How to Get a Hot Girlfriend“ is about becoming a sexy guy, where your sexiness comes from, and how to find it and use it to meet, date, and attract a hot “sexy” girlfriend."
Next up is also part of the getting a hot girlfriend series.
This one is great for learning the skills of seduction.
"The phrases “get laid” and “getting a girlfriend” may not seem to go together because one implies quick casual sex and the other normally means you can get it whenever you want; but there are many benefits to getting laid which can help guys actually find and keep a girlfriend."
And lastly for this one...
CORE SKILL 4: Escalating & Closing
"This is probably the one skill that most guys fear the most.
Why is this?
Well, it’s because we hate to risk ruining what we have. Even if it means that we stand to win a bunch more by risking. If we escalate things by asking for something from a woman, she could say NO. And that would be rejection."
Think of it from her point of view.
Here's this great guy... you.
You're getting along.
There's definitely some chemistry.
The moment hits a peaks and... NOTHING!
She will either be hurt, confused, or worse yet, think you're a wuss who doesn't have enough confidence to kiss her.
SHE will feel REJECTED.
It may be odd to consider this perspective but it's the absolute truth.
If you're doing all of everything you can to trigger her attraction and you leave her hanging - she will FEEL REJECTED.
It's your choice then isn't it?
Go for it. Take the risk. Make your move.
Risk being turned down OR...
Flat out reject a girl you want or make her feel like SHE did something wrong by not making your move on her.
Which will only lead you to grasp at something I did which works for a little while but as you read the entire article - you'll notice an inherent flaw in the system.
So make sure you read it when you get the chance.
"My biggest obstacle with women started with me not being able to create attraction in the ones I really wanted which resulted in THEM making the first move on ME.
Too many fall in this trap and fail to attract women because of it."
Okay - this tip, making the first move - is finally coming to a close. I do hope you're leaving with a lot more than you came in with and that you found exactly what you're looking for to help you next time this moment arrives.
Please - if you're a nice guy - make sure you go through all the tips and leave nothing unchecked.
ALL of these tips are based on very typical "nice guy" problems based on my failed experiences with women so they can and will help you.
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Any questions, comments, tips, experiences, or anything you'd like to add or subtract - go ahead and leave them below. Help yourself and your fellow guy. It will only make you even more attractive to women.