5. Never Try to Make ANY Woman Feel Sorry for You, Hoping She Will Give You a Pity Date.
Let’s all thank my good friend Stef for Nice Guy Tip 5 because believe it or not…
Too many nice guys have attempted to manipulate her into getting a “Pity Date.”
Some of us will actually try to guilt a woman into going out with us.
I have done it myself and to this day I still smack myself in the head for doing it. Although I’ll admit I didn’t realize I was doing it.
Which is a good reason this belongs here.
It does NOT work and even if it does, chances are she’s looking for a free night out at your expense.
The cost of your money at the price of your emotional stability.
For example… from my personal archives:
“Being extra nice is usually a direct symptom of being needy and desperate…a dead giveaway that you DO NOT HAVE OPTIONS. The Difference Between Nice and Mr Nice Guy
I told one woman how bad I was doing with “other” women. How terrible my life was and how lonely I was without someone to call my girlfriend.
My inner “nice “boy” was hoping she’d feel sorry for me enough to give me a chance.
At the time I believed attraction was a choice. Like she was choosing not to feel anything for me. As if her reasons went beyond my look.
You may have guessed – it didn’t work.
All it did was push her further away, see as more of a wussy and less of a man. It made our friendship uncomfortable. It creeped her to just be around me anymore.
We try this tactic because:
- We don’t or ( refuse to believe ) how attraction works for women. It’s NOT a choice. When she isn’t feeling it – no amount of pleading, begging, or manipulation which change that.
- We’re aiming at a woman’s nurturing ability to feel sorry for us. Something which unfortunately works on our Mothers while we’re growing up. We’re basically trying to “pout” a woman into liking us.
Yes… It’s a childish move.
We’ll pout, whine, or even cry in the same manner in which a child might manipulate their parents in the only way a child knows how – by throwing a fit. Perfectly acceptable for a child who has not matured socially but as a grown adult it backfires and does NOT create attraction.
It’s only seen by women as if we’re begging for her approval.
We feel very little security in ourselves and are hoping she’ll give it to us.
Okay – enough of the man-boy bashing here.
Learn to recognize you’re doing it, like I did.
Learn to eliminate all the ‘boy tactics’ for approval and security.
Grow yourself into a complete mature man and women will notice, appreciate, and respond positively.
Acting maturely is where attraction begins for women and if that’s all we have to do – you must admit that’s a hell of lot easier.
Pity dates are just what the words suggest, pitiful. It’s a nice guy’s last resort to manipulate a woman into feeling attraction.
It only leads to lowering your character and her respect and will lead to the next tip – trying to buy her affection…