Pity dates are unfortunately a bigger problem than you might believe as it relates to nice guys and women. They are also very hard to detect from your perspective making it even worse.
Today’s nice guy tip number 5 deals with this issue and will show you blatantly and honestly how and why it’s happening plus how to get you to STOP doing what the title suggests…
NEVER try to make a woman feel sorry for you hoping you’ll get a pity date from her or in an attempt to manipulate her into feeling attracted to you.
Some guys are good at using guilt on a woman to get her to sleep with them BUT you can not use those feelings to get a woman to FEEL attraction for you.
If by some chance you do get a “pity date” out of a woman then it’s guaranteed all she is doing is babysitting you in a way which guarantees she gets a free meal or night out.
My sad story…
There I was sitting next to a woman I thought I was in love with and I might’ve even started crying a little as we talked about my sad non-existent dating life.
I had for many months up until that fateful night considered revealing to her how long it’s been since I had gotten laid (as if she didn’t know) and I couldn’t keep it in any longer.
It all came out so quickly and at first it felt refreshing to get it all off my chest until the response I got wasn’t what I was looking for…
No – she didn’t rip my clothes off. She didn’t kiss me. She didn’t console me by hugging me.
All she offered was a sad sigh and the worst advice you can give a guy,
“The problem is you’re standards are too high and you don’t get out enough. Now can we go because it’s getting late.”
You see I actually believed that revealing my secret would actually get her in my arms. How she’d realize how I felt about her and she’d finally see that she felt the same about me.
Which was FAR from reality.
Here’s the TRUTH about attraction and if you’ve heard it before and are still reading then you MUST hear it again and again until you get it.
(It’s in two parts.)
“Telling or showing a woman that you “like her” has no effect on how she feels about YOU.
In the moment it sure seems to make sense… “If I show her how I feel, she’ll return the feelings”.
MISTAKE #2: Trying To “Convince Her To Like You”
“What do most guys do when they meet a woman that they REALLY like… but she’s just not interested?
Right! They try to “convince” the woman to feel differently.
Well, I have news for you… YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE HOW A WOMAN “FEELS” WHEN IT COMES TO ATTRACTION!
Never, ever, EVER.
You cannot CONVINCE a woman to feel differently about you with “logic and reasoning”.
When a woman just isn’t interested, we beg, plead, chase, and do our best to change her mind.”
That’s the problem.
Trying whatever tactic at your disposal to MAKE a woman feel something for you which includes telling you how you feel, trying to convince her to feel something back, gaining pity and making her feel sorry for you, and revealing you inner most secrets of failure in this area.
Didn’t work for me – NOT going to work for you no matter how you try it.
The only thing that happened in my story (and will surely happen to you too) was to push her far away.
It made our “friendship” awkward, weird, and very uncomfortable.
It guaranteed she would NEVER act the same around me ever again because she was so worried I’d see it as a sign that she was coming on to me.
Which eventually ruined our interactions and drove us totally apart.
Actually that turned out to be a GOOD thing because not too long after is when I finally decided to seek some REAL HELP.
A few years later it all came together and it was like a light went on in my head.
The connection between this “nice guy” manipulative tactic and where it all comes from, and why I (or any guy) might resort to doing something as stupid as that when it comes to trying to attract a girl.
Let’s go back to our wonderful childhood because it holds the secret.
When you’re a child and you want something but your Mother or whomever is raising you tells you,
“No. You can’t have it!”
You revert to a tactic you’ve learned as her child to get what you want because sometimes it does work or it did work in the past.
You pout. You whine. You cry. You beg. You throw a fit.
You tug on your Mother’s nurturing ability to make her either feel guilty by making it seem like she’s actually hurting you if she doesn’t give you what you want OR tired of listening to you bitch and whine.
It worked sometimes, didn’t it? You’ve seen it work yourself as an adult watching others or from your own child yourself.
Believe it or not – you’re trying the same tactic on a grown woman you want to sleep with… And until I made this eye-opening connection – I had no idea THAT is what I was doing.
Okay – enough of the man-boy stuff here.
Learn to recognize you’re doing it.
Learn to eliminate all the ‘boy tactics’ for approval and security.
There’s not much more to this tip then what was already covered up above.
There’s no real secret here or magical potion.
Just RECOGNIZE any and all forms of approval seeking and move on from it.
These things happen and that’s it.
Hopefully this nice guy tip has opened your eyes a little so you can get past it.
Make sure you go through all the rest of tips, they will help. Be sure to sign up to DiaLteG TM too because there’s a lot of helpful stuff not covered here or anywhere else.
Any questions, comments, problems, concerns, or experiences you’d like to share – leave them before you go today.
All 20 Nice Guy Tips To Attract Women
- Being Nice Has Little to do with Attraction
- Because She’s Flirting With You NOT Your Next Girlfriend
- When It’s Time To Make Your First Move On Her – Fears – Go For It!
- Attracting Women Nice Guy Tip 4 – How Stop Disqualifying Yourself
- You Can’t Pity Girl Into Going On Date Make Her Feel Attracted
- Never Try Buy Women’s Affection Attract Her with Money or Favors
- Handling Rejection Never Feel Sorry for Yourself You Were Rejected
- Don’t Agree With Her Go Against Your Beliefs Hoping She’ll Like You
- Why & How Being Funny Creates Attraction Use it The Right Way
- Start Teasing Women Create Attraction Follow These Four Rules First
- Learn How To Flirt With Every Women You Meet – Skill Of Attraction
- Never Ask if She Likes You – What You Must Do & Say Instead
- Stop Giving Women What They Say They Want, Make Them Feel
- Stuck In The Friends Zone With A Girl You Love? How to Get Out!
- How Why Body Language Attraction To Women – Learn To Control
- Means To Live Your Own Life, How to Do it Why It Attracts Women
- Big Step In Attracting Women – Stop Blaming For Your Problems
- How & Why You Must Give The Women You Are Attracted To… Space
- Why Confidence Is Attractive to Women, What It Is, & How To Get It
- The Best Version Of Yourself – Invest In YOU – Secret To Attraction