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What to Say When Approaching Women

What to Say When Approaching Women post image

You’re about to learn practically ALL you’ll ever need to confidently start a conversation with a woman, anywhere, anytime, and create attraction.

This is where you’ll learn exactly what to say to a woman with your words in your own voice.

Let me start off with saying this…

You DO NOT need pickup lines to approach women…

What works best for me and I’m positive for you too, is to pick out something, preferably interesting, that is around you.

To know WHAT to say to women you must draw from your surroundings.

If you’re in a supermarket, “Wow. I love those cookies too. Please don’t tell me you’re as addicted as I am.”

Get great supermarket skills from me personally here in my article at the Approach – How To Pickup and What You Need To Approach Women In A Grocery Store

If you’re in a bar or pub, “You look fabulous tonight. I’m always up for letting a pretty woman beat me at a game of pool.”

Get some help from Carlos here at DiaLteG TM: How to Approach Women – Singles Bars and Dance Clubs

If you’re on the street, “Amazing day, isn’t it?”

Learn some great techniques from Carlos here at DiaLteG TM for the street: How to Approach Women On the Street – Being Different and Interesting

In class, “This teacher reminds me of my uncle… :)”

Well I’m Sorry, nothing out there for classrooms. 🙂

Carlos calls them “Contextual Openers” and when it comes to approaching women, David DeAngelo and Carlos Xuma taught me the most so I still tend to turn to them for support.

In other words, if you want to walk up to that girl at the grocery store and say hello, don’t ask her if she saw the fight out front.

Don’t tell her you want to read her palm.

Those are club openers that would sound stupid in the Safeway meat section.

Instead, make sure the opener fits the situation.

Not only will it work better, but you’ll be much more believable with the words. It’s a lot easier to talk about the real world around you than try to make up something dumb.

“Hey, have you tried that new high-quality roast beef they sell here? I’m planning a party and I want to know if it would be good to put on the platter.”

Here’s How To Meet Women Without Rejection and Demonstrate Confidence

Please consider all this only comes about IF you think you need something to say.

Approaching women, believe it or not, is just starting a conversation with a stranger.

Nothing more.

With the exception of course that confidence in its many forms and creating attraction is generally what you want to lead with.

Having an agenda like getting her contact information normally only sets you up to fail unless you’re really good it.

“I had NO HIDDEN AGENDA with this woman from a sexual perspective. There was nothing about my approach that caused her to put her guard up. I was just making normal conversation. As such, there was a comfortable atmosphere surrounding the whole thing.”

Approaching Women Without Fear – This Could Change Your Life (Located at The Approach).

You see I’m assuming you’re not that good at getting numbers and you’re actually NOT interested in approaching women like some pick up artist. For you, it’s a rare event and you don’t want to screw it up.

It’s our nice guy dilemma.

We’re not interested in picking up women BUT when we see an attractive woman it would be incredibly awesome to man up and say something to her. If she’s cool, great, we can walk away with a number and an engaging attraction to us.

Tell me if I’m wrong here, please. Otherwise I’m wrong and I might have no clue as to who you are.

What all this means is that you and I MUST do our homework.

We must learn to how react quickly and confidently in a moments notice so we’re trained how to act instinctively.

Just like you don’t tell yourself to stop walking or to turn left or to put on the brakes… you just do it.

Knowing what to say to a woman you have never met or just met through a friend must feel the same… An instinctive response to the situation.

Take a look below. It’s an excerpt from an article I wrote called Breaking Down The Approach – How To Find The Pickup Line That Works For You located at The Approach:

I’ve found meetings always contain one or more of these variables and listed them in order of importance:

  • The situation –> Where you are and what is happening around you.
  • Our expressions –> Including body language and facial expressions.
  • The inflection we project –> Our tone of voice and manned in which we speak.
  • The timing in which it all happens –> When to deliver the words.
  • Our intention of where we plan on taking the conversation.
  • And lastly – the content containing our words or what we’re talking to her about.

It’s a proposed formula to help us sort of “practice” on our own. It gets us thinking about the many situations we find ourselves in everyday so we can best prepare.

Go through a few exercises on your own. Yeah I know it feels weird at first but remember, we’re training ourselves on knowing what to say without thinking about it. We’re training ourselves on how to act instinctively.

This helps us stay in the moment and not comes off as some sketchy creep looking to pick her up. Which again, is NOT our intention.

Our first intention is to merely start a conversation with a woman we don’t know.

That’s all.

The exercise is:

Think about the situations you’re in a lot where you are speechless then write them down quickly. They contain surroundings so write down some quick conversation starters which include those surroundings.

Make sure you visit the page because there’s a great example to follow along to get you started.

Another great exercise to do and learn from comes the “compliment approach.”


This is where you say hello, give her a unique compliment, then tell her your name and get hers.

This one works great because it sets you up as charming, observant, confident, and separates you from so many other guys.

Once again all the detail for this exercise are located here: Approaching With Charm – How To Find The Perfect Compliment to Start A Conversation.

You’ll find a great example there on how to work on this skill.

The basics are:

Start looking at pictures. Preferably on place you might find yourself AND make sure there’s a normal looking woman it. It’s not going to help you if you’re only looking at half-naked chics because I highly doubt you’re going to find hanging out everywhere. (Maybe the beach though. 🙂 )

Based on one picture at a time:

  1. Write down the first thing that came to mind when you saw it.
  2. Write down as many unique things you saw which can be about her or anything around her.
  3. Grab the adjectives you used and pull them aside and now search for similar words to say the same thing.
  4. Repeat for as many pictures as you can.

Don’t worry about memorizing anything.

You’re really just preparing yourself again, to act and react instinctively when the moment comes up.

Yes I know it feels weird but trust me, it’s worth your time AND you’ll quickly find yourself full of things to say and choose from when you see as a woman.

No more guessing and no more reasons to not say anything.

More confidence.

Better approaches in everyday situations.

Once again, make sure you visit the page, How To Find The Perfect Compliment to Start A Conversation, because there is a great example to follow for you to see how it works. I’m not going to clutter up this page too much.

So far we have:

The contextual opener. Draw from your surroundings. It’s ABSOLUTELY the most effective way to approach a woman.

You won’t need to know what to say because everything you need is already there.

There are a few exercises you can practice on your own:

They will help alleviate your fears too. Help you to act instinctively so it doesn’t feel pre-planned to her and so you can avoid coming off like you have an agenda.

Overcoming your fears is a slightly different topic but if you must work on them…

One or all of those below can and will help you eliminate a lot of your fears around approaching women.



The simplest “routine” or words often works the best because they are genuine and real and they don’t make women feel like you have an agenda.

Smile gently. Have open body language. Ask open ended question. Introduce yourself. Get her name. Be genuinely real, playful, and fun.

As things progress is where it gets tougher depending on what happens because if you want to see her again you’re going to need some contact information AND you must absolutely create same kind of attraction AND a connection.

“Hey ladies… What’s the occasion?”
“Hello… Incredible evening, isn’t it?”
“Wow such a cute puppy! What’s his name?”
“Great band! Is this your first time hearing them?”

Sure you can think of something clever to say. Something funny and a little cocky BUT if that’s not you, how will you proceed? Keep that in mind.

This is why you grab from your surroundings:

  • Where are you meeting her?
  • What is she doing?
  • What are you doing?
  • Is she with her friends?

I have come to the conclusion that all this writing on exactly what to say seems to open up the real problems here.

  • We need to create attraction.
  • We must be able to have an interested conversation.
  • We must come off as confident. Preferably cool relaxed and extremely comfortable talking to any woman.
  • We can lead in any way we want BUT if must be congruent or consistent with who we actually are. It makes no sense and looks creepy to suddenly switch off and become someone else.
  • If we like her, find her interesting, we must finish off by getting her contact information.
  • If we get her contact information we must leave a lasting impression. She must feel almost compelled to want to see or talk to us again.

Where does that leave the opening line and how are we supposed to plan for it:

  • We must accept rejection and failure.
  • We must practice our “routine” through the exercises above.
  • We must pinpoint our weaknesses and work then on them while in the moment, relying strictly on our strengths.
  • We must stay in the present as best we can leaving our personality to work on autopilot.
  • We must accept sometimes we can say the most wonderful things, have the greatest conversation ever, make a great connection, and expect nothing will ever come out of it for reasons which are beyond our control.
  • We must learn to open conversations with EVERYONE. Never single out cute women merely work our way around the room or never avoid conversations with someone we’re not attracted to.


Since all this huge, and you can probably tell by now I’m struggling with just coming up with lines to use, I’m going to have to ask you the ultimate question:




Truthfully speaking I went through it all, everything here, and everything there.

I also bought some extra help.

It eventually came together because I was patient, wasn’t afraid to seek help, watched other guys who were good at it, made friends with some of them, and I stopped taking myself and just talking to women so seriously.

There are a million different ways to succeed here.

  • Pick one that fits you.
  • Go with it.
  • See where it takes you.
  • If it’s not working after a test period, try something different.
  • Repeat the process.

Here are my most recommended programs on approaching women. I’m positive one of them will fit in with you perfectly. Use them wisely and enjoy the results they can give you:

  • Approaching Women – Approach ANY Woman Any Time And Never Be Worried About “Blowing It” With Her Again.
  • Meeting Women in Bars and Clubs – Learn How To Go Out Anywhere Anytime And Meet As Many Beautiful Women And Get As Many Dates As You Want.

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2 comments… add one
  • peter white

    Sorry everybody, I was not aware that comments were not saving. The problem has been solved… Obviously 🙂

    I did want to include this helpful tips (from women )which were sent directly to me:

    “I always advise my male friends to just go over and say hello, or a hey, make sure to be themselves, and show interest in the girl. Compliment her if u really want to let her know your keen. ”


    Love the word keen. Hahah! Great advice anyways and I’m sure you guys are all thinking the same thing, “Be Yourself” . Let me say this about it… Being yourself typically must be reworded into “Don’t act like someone else.” In my old world, being myself wasn’t creating the necessary attraction and I found myself in the friends zone because of it.

    Keep that in mind and yes, don’t act like you’re trying to be someone you think she’ll like. Instead, no matter what stage you are at, BE that person. If parts of you are failing to create attraction, engage her interest, turn her on, get her to meet up with the you MUST work on those skills.

    “Be honest about what you’re seeking. I have recently started meeting people on a Facebook online singles group. So many of the men are pretending to be very interested or pretending to be a real player, when it is very transparent, they are super keen (or seem desperate) to hook up or get laid. If that’s what u want just state it and then say, So how about it? See how she responds. These days there are many more females just looking 4 fun or a fuck buddy too, there is no need to be fake – your not winning!”


    Exactly and there’s that word keen again. 🙂

    I know a few friends who visit certain websites just for a hookup and they find them there. Imagine if they tried to hide the real reason they were there, nope wouldn’t be getting laid that’s for sure.

    Again, like in the post, know your surroundings, context is almost everything.

    “On the same group one fella has messaged me a couple of times with a simple reminder msg saying ‘ I am still interested in getting to know you’. I had not responded as I was not that interested, we didn’t seem to have much in common etc. However I thought this was quite sweet, genuine, simple and not overdone or harrassing. He has sparked a little interest from me now. I will msg him back very soon, even if just to compliment on that comment and say hello 🙂 ”


    Well put. Persistence can be attractive and I’ve seen it work many times EXCEPT you must follow certain guidelines like she mentioned: No harassing. Not overdone. Be genuine. Sweet. Simple.

    Also some women on any online site may easily overlook your message. It’s okay to wait a little while and send a follow up message. Don’t be rude about it and make sure you mention the first message so she’s clear it’s a second message.


  • leonard

    It is very obvious that Mr. Peter White has great experience, a gift for talking to people in general ( and i guess that woulg include women) and exceptional social skills.It would seem to me that the “ordinary” guy ( that we see regularly burned at the stake in these internet articles) would have to become someone else entirely to see ANY success at this. Trained to be alone for many, many years, maybe you just wait for women to approach, so that you at least know that they are interested.
    That seems to be illegal.

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