It's a well-known fact that women can, will, and do test men at every level of dating AND in your relationships too.
Learn to pass those tests and you can increase her attraction easily and make her think, believe, and feel you're not only the perfect man for her - but unlike ANY other guy she has met before.
What is a woman's TEST?
It's her clever (instinctual) way of getting you to reveal yourself to her in such a way which that you can not fake. (Although a player or clever guy can see the test and respond in a way which can fool a woman.)
Some tests she gives are instinctual and women are born with this ability. It's her way of knowing or figuring out without much doubt that you'd make a worthy partner or a great potential father to her offspring.
Other tests are consciously done but knowing that exactly is often hard to determine. You could argue that her conscious tests are merely games she plays with guys.
Either way - her TESTS are a real thing and they happen ALL the time.
Pass enough of them and you're in.
Fail them and you're out.
It's not all black or white but it does have a major influence on her attraction towards you and whether she wants to continue seeing you.
There is a sometimes common belief that you need to learn tricks that negate her tests but that is not always true.
If you were to go out looking for quick lays, instant pick ups, or bar/club game then sure - learn some tricks to negate her tests and you will get laid more often.
The truth of it all is that her tests can be passed through who you are, your personality, your character, your masculinity, etc... which means if you build yourself into a certain type of guy - like a real Alpha male - then you will pass most of her EARLY tests by simply being yourself.
Relationships test or ones that lead to relationships work a little different and require skills and character traits which deem you as boyfriend material or more.
When you're done reading today's page and following the links for more information...
You will completely understand what her tests are and the most attractive way to pass them.
1. Learn to Recognize Her Tests. Recognize
2. Begin to understand HOW to pass them. Understand
3. Build your lifestyle and add to your personality the traits needed to pass them. Lifestyle
1. Recognizing Her Tests or knowing when it is a test.
The most common question from men about a woman's test is,
"How do you know if it's a test?"
The simple answer is just assume EVERYTHING IS A TEST.
Over simplified... Yes.
But very important because while you're busy trying to figure out if it's a test or not, you're more likely to fail or miss it.
So (as a beginner) just assume EVERYTHING is a test which also means everything is an opportunity to pass them AND create attraction.
Two important facts about testing are good for you and something you must understand first.
1. Women rarely ever realize they are doing it.
This isn’t what EVERY woman does and it’s not like we have a big rule book that tells us to do it- it’s a automatic thing that girls who know they are good value as partners do without thinking.
And they’ll rarely admit they even do it.
But they do. I’ll admit I do.
And those guys who pass the test?
They can pretty much do anything after that.
Rachel Goodchild- "Do Women Test Men"
Again - the difference is: Subconscious tests are instinctual and a very necessary part of the mating ritual.
Conscious tests (not all but lots of them) are the actual games a woman might play. Why she does it is not important or relevant to this page.
Next up is GREAT NEWS...
2. When she turns the level up it's a great sign she is interested in you.
I consider myself an attractive woman so if I’m putting you threw the tests bear with me it means your worth the time to figure out.
Most women (like men) have been hurt before and we just have to try subtly to see if your like the last jerk.
If you notice that a woman is going too far; trying to see if she can boost her self-esteem by belittling you, ditch her.
But if it’s a small test like asking you about your previous relationship she’s thinking about what you would be like in the long run.
The more she's testing you (within reason until it turns it game playing) the more she's interested in you and is feeling attraction towards you.
Remember this because if you meet a woman who is not testing at all - it definitely means she's not feeling anything for you.
Recognizing her tests is just not as important as learning or knowing how to pass them.
There are many times when a woman isn't even aware she's testing you.
If she has even a small amount of interest she will test you and the tests continue on into the relationship.
It's a very real part of the female's courtship.
Passing her tests require different skills for relationships and dating or casual sex including one night stands.
Here's a slightly different view:
When you first meet a woman...
She’ll immediately begin to interact with you in ways that determine if you’re a man who communicates control and confidence instead of nervousness, neediness, and desperation.
When she’s out on a date with you...
She’ll test to see if you’re the kind of man who has it all together and has a purpose in life… the kind of rare, “real” man that she spends so much time looking for.
After the first date…
She’ll test to see how you handle the next steps: how soon do you call or text her again? How do you react if she does something you don’t like? Are you constantly checking in and planning the next thing, or do you give her space?
2. Understanding HOW to pass them is different from learning how to pass them.
Notice the carefully chosen words in the header.
Understand how to pass them... and NOT learn to pass them.
There are several ways you can learn to pass them but understanding HOW to do it is more important for any continued success in dating and relationships.
The difference is this:
Learning what to do in situations and responding appropriately is learning HOW to pass them.
Understanding them, what they are, when they're done, what they mean, which type of test it is (sex, dating, relationships) means you've integrated a natural response to her tests into your personality.
As a beginning or for someone who is just learning about attraction you will need to learn HOW but in the end - as you progress - it's something you'll want to add to your character so you don't have to worry about them.
By just being who you are - you will naturally pass many of them without even trying.
Now let's go onto number 3 since it is so related to number 2.
3. Building your lifestyle and adding to your personality the traits needed to pass them.
You don't need to play games which are manipulative to pass these "congruence" tests.
At first you may want to learn the proper techniques or skills and some common responses that will pass but as stated above - integrating the right way to handle her tests into your personality ALWAYS proves to be the most efficient and best way.
Here are the most common types of tests but you'll find others categorize them a little differently as you'll see here:
Some deal with your courtship rituals like, “I can’t talk with a man until he buys me a drink”
Some deal with her sex appeal like, “That bar woman is so hot? Don’t you think?”
Some deal with your dating habits like, “So you’re quite the player, aren’t you?”
Some deal with your intellectual prowess, like she’ll tell a joke (it could be unintelligible) and say, “You’re a little slow, aren’t you?”
This is where a woman will scan you the first time she sees you for inconsistencies and clues as to how you live your lifestyle. Sight
This is the most common. She will test you with questions to see how you respond.
This is the area most men focus on a lot because this is where your conversational skills will either enhance or create attraction or ruin any and all sexual tension. Conversation
It's the easiest one to understand and pass early on and gives you INSTANT results.
These are not just touch tests. These can be her attempt to see how far you will go before you crack and admit wanting to sleep with her.
This will be your hardest and most confusing test. So be warned. Physical
This is where she responds emotionally to something you say or do to gain the upper hand or higher status than you.
Using this a woman can rule out tons of nice guy's who are not strong enough. Emotional
Let's look a little deeper into each one.
Sight Tests - What They Are & How To Pass
When a woman first sees you she will often scan your looks for congruence, "excitement", and a deeper meaning behind your overall look.
She wants to know quickly what kind of lifestyle you lead and how will it fit into her social life. (Generally speaking of course.)
- Will it make her more popular among her friends?
- Will her family accept you?
- Can you physically please her?
- Are you a clean person?
- Do you excel at the details in your life?
- Will she have to dress you everyday?
She wants to know that how you present yourself to her matches your personality. They have to be consistent (congruent) or she's more likely to reject you quickly.
Excitement is - do you live a wild lifestyle, sometimes too wild for her, sometimes not.
Depends entirely on what type of guy she thinks she is looking for that matches her as best as possible.
The deeper meaning behind your looks is...
Do you care enough about yourself to maintain a sense of style and dress.
The three mentioned above are almost always used together.
For example if you show up dressed up like a rock star this might excite her at first.
When she checks you out she will attempt to test how you dress with who you are personality wise.
Checking for tattoos that are creative and deep.
Shoes that are not bought at a department store.
This is her "congruence" test and you may never realize it is going on because she can do this from anywhere.
She then adds the deeper meaning to the mix by testing who you are hanging out with or talking to.
If you don't socialize with others and be the star you will fail her test and she won't even have to talk to you to find that out.
Unless you're the angry anti-social rock star type. Either way she'll have her answer quickly.
If you're dressed in a suit and tie but you're running around acting like you're the rock star she also won't have to bother talking to you.
In fact she will probably avoid you because it's not congruent with what you're wearing.
This means how you dress should convey who you are.
Not to her. Don't worry about that part.
Obviously if you are clueless in this area you may want to seek advice.
To pass her "sight tests" you also want to make sure the details are taken care of competently.
Not perfection. Screw perfection.
That actually screams to a woman you might be a little too much into yourself.
Don't be afraid to show a little weakness in this area because you just might get a few women that are curious about your looks enough to approach you.
Although they may not mention it at first.
Check all aspects of your appearance and to pass these tests - make sure it's actually who you are.
Yes it's that simple which is why we shouldn't let something this small ruin it for us.
You'll find my page on appearances pages here to help you out:
- Great First Impressions – Details On How You Look and Your Appearance
- Refine Your Look, Style – How To Take Care Of The Details Women Notice
Most of the basics you'll ever have to worry about are on that page.
Here are a few select sites for those of you who want a complete overhaul OR are just getting into this kind of stuff.
- GQ - "Look Smart Dress Smart"
- Men's Fashion and Grooming
- Newbie Fashion Tips for Grown Up Men
- Fashion Beans
"The compliance test is really a test to see whether or not they're going to be able to get away with whatever they want."
Conversational Tests and Passing Them
While you're talking to a woman she will test you through your conversations because it's the easiest way to do it PLUS (since a lot her attraction comes from this type of communication) it's fits perfectly.
Her conversational tests are the BEST way for any guy to pass easily because it's a skill YOU can master.
Let's take a look at some examples.
Here are some common questions along with typical boring guy responses which typically lead to failing the "conversation" test:
- What do you do for a living? - "I'm a graphic designer."
- What's your name? - "Larry. What's yours?"
- How old are you? - "25. How old are you?"
- Are you always this upfront? - "I'm just curious."
- Do you have a girlfriend? - "No. We broke up a month ago."
Granted they are simple questions but how you respond to them are very important and answering in a typical way generally means you failed her test.
The more attractive the woman, the quicker you fail.
The better she is at testing guys (which means she has a lot of experience) the more upgraded her questions and her follow up question to your responses, the harder it can be to pass UNLESS you know how to answer them.
If you answer in the way listed above - you are going to FAIL.
Those responses are boring, predictable, don't create sexual chemistry, they do little to qualify her or you, and don't convey to her that you're the right guy for her.
Here's where you can learn about qualification to pass her tests: 10 Easy Ways You Can Stop Disqualifying Yourself to Women & Attract Her.
Here's how to pass her tests by becoming a real challenge for her: Top Ten Ways to Challenge Women to Feel Attracted to You.
READ THESE to avoid looking boring and predictable:
- Do Women Think You’re Too Predictable? How To Change Her Mind
- My Secret To Not Boring Women And Communicating Excitement
Here's how to respond to the questions above which will not only pass her tests but get you well on your way to CREATING ATTRACTION:
- What do you do for a living? - "I run an online dating service for little people."
- What's your name? - "My birth certificate says Max Power, but I prefer sexy."
- How old are you? - "65. Yeah... I know... I look great for my age."
- Are you always this upfront? - "Wow, hitting on me so soon."
- Do you have a girlfriend? - "Yeah, but don't tell my wife she might get upset."
Notice how the dynamics of the conversation change when you successfully respond to her tests.
What you want to do is to create a fun and flirty conversations which portrays mystery, humor, and confidence.
All three are very attractive traits.
All three can easily be made a natural part of your personality too so her tests get passed without even trying.
They also allow the interaction to build and by answering the right way, you can lead a woman where you want rather than following her lead and failing her tests.
The longer you can keep it up, while still making her laugh, the more likely she will find herself into you.
Be warned though - you can over do it.
Please always moderate yourself in this area or you'll come off as a creep or weirdo.
It's a delicate balance and a little difficult to achieve at first.
She may even start to get upset by your answers but all she is doing ( as long as you're being fun ) is taking her testing to a new level which is often called the "emotional test".
If you break down and try to negate her anger by consoling her, you will fail her test.
Read "Emotional Testing" below.
This is an area of testing any men can easily improve because you probably already do this with your guys friends. Obviously it's not the same but the concepts and sarcastic humor are very similar.
If you are failing in this area consistently it can be like a huge wall is being put up in front of you. Something you've probably felt before you came here - or why you're reading this page in the first place.
I've pulled together lots of free "guest posts" to help you understand exactly how to pass her "conversational" tests:
- How to Get It With Challenging Conversations
- One Night Stands “Secrets” – Not Rushing The Conversation
- Conversation Topics Keep Her Attention, Charm Her and Attract Her
- How to Avoid Awkward Silences with Women – Techniques
- How to Have Better Conversations with Women
- The Six Deadliest Conversation Mistakes You Make With Women
- Cocky Comedy – Difference Of Being Confident & Acting Like a Jerk
Conversational tests are the most common so they're very important to pass.
You can also create lots of attraction while talking to women so it's something you must learn how to do it in such a way that it conveys confidence, charm, wit, humor, flirtiness (... among many other things).
As above LEARN THIS TECHNIQUE and start using it IMMEDIATELY and you WILL pass these tests and more:
Physical Tests and How To Pass Them
These kind of tests often involve a deeper connection between you and her however they can include a woman's flirty test with how she dresses to judge a man's instant reaction.
Have you ever noticed a woman who claims she doesn't want to be seen as just another hot body but she dresses in a way we might consider slutty?
The Physical Test.
Her physical self against your will to see past her body.
Think about it this way.
If you just got laid by a hot girl yesterday there is a greater chance you won't let her looks affect your actions.
After all, to you, beautiful women are just a part of your life.
Now as for the man who is never close to such beauty or even a blatant slutty look he may not be able to control his stares.
Her physical test of her beauty separates the real strong men who can handle her from the weaker men who might end up being a possessive jealous guy who only want to control her.
OR from the guy who hasn't got laid in a decade.
Here is another example and how you pass or fail the test.
Walking away and turning her head to see if you are checking her out.
YOU FAIL: Turning away quickly so she doesn't catch you.
YOU PASS: Keeping your eyes on hers and raising an eyebrow with a, "shame shame" look on your face.
These physical tests will often come after there is a small physical connection already there.
These are the tests than can truly separate the men who get it from the men who don't.
Here's another example:
Leaning in for a kiss too early.
FAIL: Diving into her lips.
PASS: You say, "Wow. Are you always this upfront?", then gently pushing her away with a smirk on your face.
Here's an example:
6. You’re kissing a woman and she says, “We should stop!”
How do you respond:
- You’re in a position where more intimacy is not possible anyways so you look at her and say. “Okay.” and then you walk away.
- You’re in a position where more intimacy is possible so you look in her eyes for a second, smirk, and walk away not saying anything.
- You push the issue forcefully because you can't control your urges and you want her now!
- You’re not in a position where intimacy is possible so you look at her and say. “You’re right. It’s late and I’ve got to get going anyways.”
The physical test above clearly indicates to her your level of control and your ability to tease.
You pass her test by indirectly proving to her she is on YOUR physical time.
When you pass these types of physical tests and more:
- It tells her you have complete control over yourself when you're around a hot woman.
- You can control your physical state and therefore will be more than enough in bed to give her incredible orgasms.
- It shows her that you understand how to tease and build sexual tension and how it doesn't always have to lead to sex that night.
Pass her physical test on all levels and she will not be able to get her mind off of you.
At this level she will be contacting you.
She will go well out of her way just to be around you.
She will always follow your lead whether she claims to be in control or not.
Here are a few great tips from a video you MUST watch:
You Are a “Cause” In The World, Not An “Effect”
This mindset is all about communicating that you are an active, influential force in the world... a man who makes things happen instead of a pinball getting helplessly bounced around from one thing to the next.
Two Steps Forward, One Step Back
This technique is the truly “Holy Grail” when it comes to making smooth transitions with women that prevent getting rejected. Even better, it’s also one of the most powerful chemistry and attraction amplifiers that I’ve ever created.
Emotional Tests and How To Pass Them
These kind of tests are huge and it's best to spot them quickly because one, they will reveal a lot about the woman you're dealing with or meeting AND because most nice guys who struggle with women FAIL these almost every stinking time!
Women with little or no value for themselves or for you are known for doing these kind of tests.
Sure she is testing you but in reality she is just showing you who she really is.
It's unfortunate that even some higher quality women will find themselves doing these.
All you have to do is pay attention to the severity of it and the depth of it.
In other words, always ask yourself this,
"Is there a deep emotional issue causing her test or a small - get it over with quick response - or a test of your ability to hold your own against her?"
Here are a few quick examples:
YOU FAIL: Giving in to her every demands.
YOU PASS: "So...do all your guy friends actually fall for that look?"
Fake anger. (small)
YOU FAIL: Apologizing for making her angry.
YOU PASS: Stating, "Would you like to borrow my friend's anger management tapes. They come in three different languages, whiny, pouty, and grumpy."
Hitting on your friend when you are on a date. (severe)
YOU FAIL: Getting angry at her.
YOU PASS: While smirking, "The two of you would make a great couple. Would you like to borrow her?"
Notice the difference between the severe and the small.
Her small test was mostly about seeing how strong you are in standing up to her obvious "acts of immaturity".
The severe emotional test has roots in jealousy and insecurity and tell us she's probably a game player so maybe you should avoid her altogether OR she's just messing with you and wants to see if you respond differently than an average guy would.
The small tests were about you.
The severe tests are mostly about her.
THAT is the major difference.
If her tests center around her own insecurity and create drama it's a bad sign.
In the small case we can pass them with the examples above using our own style.
Pass several of them and she will soon give up and assume at this point, you can handle her so let the fun begin.
The thing about her EMOTIONAL tests that you must remember is that you'll find they can also happen accidentally giving her a great opportunity to test you without her doing anything at all.
Passing these test are certainly MORE about your character and personality which means as you develop yourself into a more attractive man you WILL pass these quite easily without even knowing it's happening.
The KEY here is to become a MASTER of YOUR EMOTIONS and hers too.
Take a look at the example below and you'll see exactly how it all works:
"How do you CONNECT with that woman who’s just broken her heel… or maybe just lost her job… or feels “ugly and insecure”… or WHATEVER?
How do you RELATE to her and prove that you GET IT… unlike 99.99% of other men?
Most of the time, all it takes is this:
Think about your own life experiences.
Dial one up that creates the closest emotion in you to the one that she’s feeling.
Maybe you wrecked your car. Maybe you got fired. Maybe your dog died.
The key is: you must GENUINELY MAKE YOURSELF FEEL WHAT SHE’S FEELING… then communicate those feelings to her. Show her that you UNDERSTAND what she’s going through in the moment.
Show her that you know how to RELATE.
Because, once you can show a woman that you can understand her EMOTIONS…
Emotional tests are all too often overlooked but they are very important and can make a critical difference for you in attracting a great woman.
They reveal to you the type of woman you're dealing with and therefore will help you avoid getting involved with a woman who is not girlfriend material or right for you.
Remember, qualification works both ways.
If her tests are over the top, she's probably a game player.
If they're subtle, then she's just testing you on the boyfriend material or handling her emotions which means - passing them gives you the option to go in whatever direction you want with her.
They can happen by accident but still give her the perfect opportunity to take note to your response. Thus separating you from the weaker guy she meets IF you pass them.
As in the example above.
Sure, you can learn to respond to them early on - BUT as you work on your inner game, become a master of your emotions, and are a strong confident man you WILL pass them.
Which means YOU are in CONTROL and once you're there, most of your first instinctual reactions or responses to her tests will happen naturally.
"Confidence is the key ingredient of what we commonly think of as “chemistry”… the immediate, unspoken promise that a man is likely to be:
PROTECTIVE AND IN-CONTROL. The kind of man who’s emotionally prepared and knows exactly what to say and do in a given situation.
EXCITING (IN THE RIGHT WAY). In other words, thrilling yet safe… passionate yet mature… unpredictable yet trustworthy.
CAPABLE OF SUCCEEDING IN LIFE AND LOVE…while also capable of tolerating and dealing with challenges, loss, and adversity."
Women will without a doubt test you from the moment you meet her and will not stop just because you're in a relationship.
Often they are instinctual ways to prove that you would make a great partner for her. They're designed to get you to reveal yourself in a way which is very hard to fake.
When a woman tests you it's normally a good thing because it means she's interested or feeling attracted to you.
Fail too many tests early on and you're done.
Pass her tests and you're in more control of where you want to take things with her. This includes sex, dating, and relationships.
Her tests are either done subconsciously or consciously. It's hard to determine whether one or the other is just a game she's playing which is usually bad based on those two types.
There are (generally) 4 types of tests:
Sight - How you might fit into her lifestyle. How you present yourself in a way which conveys value and congruence with how you're acting.
Sight tests are normally not about HOW physically attractive you are but can make a difference for some women.
Emotional - How do you connect with her emotionally. Do you get her. Are you boyfriend material. Can you handle her emotions. How you react or respond under stress.
Although these can be passed through experience and knowledge they are more effective IF your responses come from your character or personality.
Physical - How much restraint you have. Are you a guest in her world or are you her guest. How well you communicate sexually. Your body language.
These tests often include transitions from talking to flirting to touching to sex making them extremely important to pass because most guys don't know the human mating rituals and women know them instinctively.
Conversational - Talking to women is an area where lots of attraction can be made. How smart you are. How flirty you are. Your wit, charm, confidence - all and more are shown in your conversations with women.
These test MUST be passed quickly BUT knowing how to do it separates you instantly from lots of other guys who don't know how to talk to women which actually creates attraction.
This is a SKILL you can LEARN and integrate into your personality so it becomes natural.
The level of her tests will be consistent with how well versed she is with men or how experienced she is in disqualifying men.
Higher quality women with more experience in dealing or meeting men will be more skillful at testing you.
REMEMBER: The point of most of her tests is to find a partner which is suitable for her and gives her the best opportunity for happiness and procreation.
They are not GAMES women play on men. There's a difference although they're not always that easy to know when it's a game and when it's a test.
PASSING THEM is an ESSENTIAL PART of CREATING ATTRACTION which inevitably can lead to a relationship and beyond.
This also means it's a SKILL you can learn PLUS you can integrate "Alpha Traits" into you and your personality which makes passing them more natural and less of a thought out process.
You pass them easily by solving the problem from two different angles.
One: Knowing what to do in situations or how to respond to likely tests or circumstances.
Two: Developing yourself into a man from the inside out or working on your inner game.
They are both similar and cross over but in order to fully get this handled you MUST work on both and continually learn.
Thanks for stopping by today and I do hope you found what you were looking for and more.
My aim is to over-deliver the right kind of information and when at all possible - point you in a direction which will help you in any specific area you feel you need the most work on.
If you have anything you'd like to add to this page - let me know below. Any questions, comments, experiences you'd like to share - please take a moment to leave one before you.