10 Easy Ways You Can Stop Disqualifying Yourself to Women & Attract Her

The article is posted in these Categories: Attractive Communication – How To Communicate Yourself Attractively

You might not ever walk up to a woman and say, “Hey you’re stunning. Absolutely beautiful.. Too bad you wouldn’t like me because I’m not good enough for you.”

But that might be exactly how you’re acting around women and by doing so, you’re disqualifying yourself to her before she even has a chance to feel attracted to you.

Today’s lesson is about showing you HOW to AVOID disqualifying yourself so you can eliminate the many unseen but common mistakes you might be making with women.

These are the subtle ones which could be stopping you from creating ATTRACTION. These mistakes are within your total control so it’s best you learn to recognize that you’re doing them so you can get right to avoiding them.

When you first meet a girl and you start interacting (within the context of you’re both single and looking) many things start to happen.

You want to know if she’s someone you’d like to get to know better because you’re attracted to her. Likewise you’re trying to figure out if she likes you in some way.

She also wants to see or learn if she can or will feel attracted to you and wants to know if you are also feeling something for her.

The back-and-forth dance of qualification and disqualification begins almost immediately on sight and furthers along as you talk and communicate with each other.

During which time you’re also qualifying each other for a possible longer term relationship. You’re trying to build a unique connection and similar thoughts and feelings you both can share.

And at each of those “stages” it becomes all too easy to disqualify yourself to her without even knowing you’re doing it.

These all too common mistakes are mostly unseen from your point of view and they have little to do with the tests she’s giving you…


They have everything to do with HOW you subtly communicate things about yourself, your body language, the manner or way in which you speak, and the eye contact you’re using which again – means you DO HAVE CONTROL over them.


Here are some common things to avoid which may be disqualifying yourself to women.

#1. Lack of good eye contact or looking down often when you talk to her.

Soft confident eye contact is very important so you want to avoid “submissive” looking down with your head and eyes too much.

Don’t go all creepy on her and stare down her eyes like you’re sizing her up. It’s okay to look away and notice things around you.

You just want to avoid not making any real eye confident.

Lack of the right contact tells her you have little confidence and that you’re all too submissive.

#2. Staring at her mouth constantly when she talks.

This one is strange but I’ve done some experiments myself and when done wrong seems to creep women out.

It’s almost like you’re sizing her up for a kiss which is great if you’re actually going for the kiss, but doing it too early and too much can easily get you disqualified quickly.

#3. Asking too many random questions nervously with no purpose to them.

Talking to women is not like talking to some dude you know IF you want to create attraction and not disqualify yourself.

Don’t just randomly jump from topic to topic.

Avoid steering the conversations in places where it seems like you’re just trying to figure out if she likes you or would sleep with you.

Most women see right through it and assume you have very little experience with the opposite sex.

It also feel intrusive and sneaky. It feels dishonest and passive.

Here’s an slightly helpful article here at DiaLteG TM to show you how talking to women is different than talking to another and how you can use this technique to create attraction:

Beautiful Woman Looking At You
“Most men will talk at a woman with random thoughts. Men tend to speak in random circles. That works in the man world.”

Create Instant Attraction So She Calls You First, How To Talk to Women

#4. Over-complimenting with your words or your eyes.

Yes your eyes can over-compliment. Staring at her tits and ass with a look on your face like you haven’t got laid in decade will definitely get you disqualified quickly.

I wouldn’t mention this all so easily if I haven’t done it myself long ago and trust me, no matter how good or subtle you think you are – women are far more proficient in this area and they will notice it almost immediately.

Most of the time they won’t even say a word but they’re thinking it and WILL remember it.

I won’t mention complimenting with words because it’s pretty obvious – just avoid saying what every other guy might tell her and you’ll be much better off.

Don’t go for the obvious compliment.

Comment on her style.

The way she wears something.

Her choice in accessories.

Anything she may feel is unique about herself and she’s appears to have given it a lot of time and thought in her life.

Here’s the PERFECT solution to how to compliment ANY woman:

How To Give Any Woman The Perfect Compliment – Steps On How To Create One

#5. Quick, uneasy or unsure movements especially when you’re close to her.

This again depicts a lack of confidence and experience with the opposite sex.

Aim for slow, calculated, planned movements – like you have a plan and a place for all your body parts.

Take up some space and OWN IT!

Weak timid body language lands way too many nice guys in the friends zone but it doesn’t have to be that way.

Recognize when and how you’re doing it and immediately work on fixing it.

Solution, FIX your body language so it naturally attracts women:

How & Why Your Body Language Communicates Attraction To Women – Learn To Control It

#6. Invading her space forcibly.

Aside from the legal issues which I hope you understand – I’ve seen many nice guys who seem to position themselves just to get close to a woman.

Trust me they notice it and do not like it. It’s creepy and only shows a lack of courage.

On the outside it may seem important ( like breaking the touch barrier ) but more often than not it’s not done right.

Sometimes space is important.

Sometimes you want a little tension to build first.

The whole idea is your movement should flow naturally close and far from her and if you pre-plan it, force it, or try to make it happen unnaturally, it will creep women out.

Watch a guy or two when they’re around beautiful women. Notice how they “try” to get close to her without actually saying anything to her.

It’s as if they’re waiting for HER to start a conversation. Remember if YOU want to talk to her – GET UP and say HELLO!

Don’t linger around her hoping something might happen… because that disqualifies you quickly and again, it’s very creepy and unnerving to women.

Especially the most attractive ones because they deal with it on such a regular basis – they know EXACTLY when it’s happening.

Same Solution as above: FIX your body language so it naturally attracts women:

How & Why Your Body Language Communicates Attraction To Women – Learn To Control It

#7. Projecting negative thoughts about how you feel about yourself.

The mind has a way of transferring all your thoughts to your body and when you’re interacting with woman, those negative or disbelieving in yourself thought can easily be transferred to her.

That is why it’s an easy one to miss and also why a woman can disqualify you before or right after you start talking to her.

I’m not the type of guy to tell you to “fake it until you make it”, advice like that is absurd and completely unhelpful.

BUT you can think POSITIVE.

Your brain is all yours man so use it for good.

Do anything and everything you can to put some positive thoughts in your head so your body will follow AND so will the women or woman you’re talking to.

Mostly everything can be given a positive spin. Just practice doing it each change you get.

It does work even though at times it feels stupid.

For some positive confident support make sure you sign up to the newsletter because this is covered and every letter you get is there to build your confidence and knowledge and will help you inject some positive feelings in your relationships or interactions with women.

Which brings up reason 8 you could be disqualifying yourself. It’s similar but not the same.

#8. Complaining too much about anything.

Life isn’t always all “peaches and cream” (yes I do listen to Beck) but save the complaining like when I do – when you’re alone and sitting in front of the television watching yet another stupid commercial.

This is an easy train of yourself. You just have to pay more attention to what you’re saying to catch yourself. Some people don’t realize they’re doing it and that’s okay – just try to stop it from happening.

Hold off on the negative comments.

You don’t have to turn everything into some weird nice guy bullshit routine about how you see the world is magical and full of wonder.

That could actually backfire and make you look like you’re trying way too hard and no woman in her right mind will believe that bullshit anyways.

The secret (or thing to remember) is just to AVOID being so negative. That’s all.

#9. Putting her on a pedestal or treating her like she’s a prize.

Women are women. People are people. They ALL have “skeletons in the closet”. They ALL have things they don’t like about themselves.

The point to remember is NOBODY is perfect and worst of all… relative to attraction and women…

No REAL woman will want (for any extended period of time) to feel like she has to live up to the prefect woman you’re claiming she is.

Once you prop her up and start kissing her ass you WILL destroy any hopes of  real attraction with her.

I’m not here to tell you to put women down or see them as inferior. That’s not the attitude you want.

I’m telling you to not treat women like they’re some prize you have to win. It’s objectification in the worst form because you’re trying to hide it behind some nice guy image thing.

This is a big one which must be handled IMMEDIATELY if it’s a problem for you and it must be handled in a way which doesn’t make you arrogant so be careful.

It’s not a matter or pretending she’s below you. It’s simply a matter of believing YOU are GOOD ENOUGH for ANY woman and in a way, YOU are a prize.

Here are two great posts to help you out with this one:

Never Let Her Looks Affect Your Actions & Stop Giving Away Your Respect

Don’t Agree With Her & Go Against Your Beliefs Hoping She’ll Like You

#10. Not qualifying her properly or knowing how to get her to qualify herself to YOU.

This last one was just added and since it’s a huge subject or mistakes you might be making – there’s a whole post dedicated to teaching you everything you need to know make it happen.

Make sure you read the one below…

Learning how to attract more fulfilling relationships with the right woman is in one way about knowing how to qualify her.

When you qualify a woman the right way you do one of several things:

  • You create attraction in many ways up to and including getting a woman to qualify herself to you.
  • You’re showing her you have high standards minus the arrogance.
  • Your assurance to yourself that she is the right type of woman you’re looking for.
  • You’re looking deeper into who she is in a way that is hard to fake. You’re seeing past and beyond her persona and looking for any real character flaws she may have which can be problematic in the future.

Are You Qualifying Her? – Attracting Women & Better Relationships

There are a ton of other little things you might be doing which are disqualifying you…

BUT I don’t want you to get bogged down in thinking you’ll never get them all handled.

Learn what you can and to really succeed it’s more effective to recognize and acknowledge they’re happening to you.

It’s true – you might not ever be 100% but I know you can get pretty close.

Some say all most normal average guys have to do is just to avoid making a ton of mistakes and attraction will take care of itself… and in a way that’s true.

Here’s a great article which helped me avoid those mistakes and I’m POSITIVE it will also help you IF you’re open to seeing things differently and are OPEN to kind criticism which is only here the help you succeed with women.

Guy Making Mistake Woman
MISTAKE #1: Being Too Much Of A “Nice Guy”
MISTAKE #2: Trying To “Convince Her To Like You”
MISTAKE #3: Looking To Her For Approval Or Permission
MISTAKE #4: Trying To “Buy” Her Affection With Food And Gifts
MISTAKE #5: Sharing “How You Feel” Too Early In The Relationship With Her
MISTAKE #6: Not “Getting” How Attraction Works For Women
MISTAKE #7: Thinking That It takes money or looks
MISTAKE #8: Giving Away All Of Your Power To Women
MISTAKE #9: Not Knowing Exactly What To Do In Each Situation With
MISTAKE #10: Not Getting HELP

Ten Reasons Why Men Fail With Women – Common Mistakes to Avoid

Use it as a checklist and along with this post you WILL see better results.

In conclusion…

A nasty circle happens when you disqualify yourself to a woman before she even has a chance to do it herself; you start (or continue) to take rejection personal – and when that happens it’s becomes almost second nature to believe you’re not good enough for a woman.

And the circle continues on and on.

You or I may not be the greatest perfect catch in the world but that’s not why you’re not “getting your fair share” or why you might not feel “good enough” thus disqualifying yourself all too easily.

Women do NOT want a perfect guy. You do not want the perfect woman.

Perfection is boring and when others see us as perfect feels uncomfortable and is an impossibility to live up to those kids of standards.

Women want someone REAL. A genuine guy with a kind heart who feels prefect for HER. Which is far different than perfection.

BUT they will ONLY get with a guy who makes them feel good, happy, attractive, and knows how to communicate to them in a way which triggers her attraction.

I know you can make a woman laugh. I know you can make her feel good. I know you can make her feel attractive.

All that is left is learning HOW TO COMMUNICATE those things (and just a little more) in a positive confident way which creates attraction and stimulates her in the right sexual way.

You might not ever verbally tell a woman why she might not like you but you can certainly disqualify yourself from ever creating attraction by making many of the easily avoidable mistakes covered today.

Share It Because You Know Another Guy Who Needs To Read It Too!

About the author: Peter White – Blatantly honest with an awesome ability to see the reality of attraction, dating, & relationships for men and women. DiaLteG TM started as a way to help you become better with women and more attractive. All you need is here. It’s transformed into something more: A place to discuss our man problems that women just don’t seem to get or understand.

The DIALTEG TM Newsletter – Expect nothing from it except this guarantee, and you’ll enjoy it… I will NOT send you a bunch of junk and unwanted emails. I don’t spam, that’s for amateurs & scumbags who don’t want to get a real job like you and me.

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2 comments… add one
  • Marshall

    Hey Peter – you hit the nail on the head. How many hundreds of times have I seen an attractive woman and thought, “hey you’re stunning. Absolutely beautiful.. Too bad you wouldn’t like me because I’m not good enough for you.” It’s got nothing to do with my looks – it’s how I feel and have always felt about myself, no matter how many goals I attain/exceed in any area of my life. I look at her and then see some other guy (irrespective of who he might be) and automatically think she might be interested in / attracted to him, but not to me. I cannot seem to shake the sense that every other guy has a chance with women because he is incomparably more attractive than me no matter what. If you’re saying – and I agree that – the advice to ‘fake it until you make it’ is snake oil, what can I do? I honestly don’t see anything about me that measures up – or even that makes it worthwhile to try.