One Look At You & She’s Already Thinking You’re A Player

"Reason for Failing with Women #31 - She Assumed You Were A Player - You Act Like Women Are An Agenda, A Conquest - You Play Lots of Needless Games And Your Life Revolves Around Them."

A strange thing started to happen to me when I was getting all this "attraction" stuff down, women started accusing me of being a player.

I'd get the slap on the shoulder, the rolling of the eyes, the coy laughs, the smart-ass comments of how I was going to play them and how I probably had tons of women waiting in the sidelines for me because that's what players do.

It was all somewhat of a joke of course. They were play-flirting with me.

But (seriously) they were also testing me.

Here's where you can learn how to pass her tests: Understanding A Woman’s Test and How To Pass Them

My reaction would help them determine if I really was a player or not and from there, they could decide what to do next:

Walk away, stick around and play flirt without worry, or proceed forward very cautiously.

If this is happening to you too, very cool. It's a GOOD thing.

However, if you're failing with women consistently and you're ticking the boxes below:

  • You treat them like an agenda, a toy, a conquest to be won.
  • You play needless games and trickery with them.
  • Your life revolves around your current or next lay and women in general.

OR ... For those who are (supposedly) good nice guys:

  • You take how others see you way too seriously and allow their views to change your actions.
  • You go a little too far defending yourself when accused of being someone or something you don't like.
  • You feel the need to always prove to others (especially women) who you are because you always feel misunderstood and mostly forgotten.
  • Your life also revolves around women.

Then you're going to notice a lot of women assume you're some kind of player but unlike me above, they're not going to tell you or playfully slap you on the arm.

Most women just won't like you enough to even bother talking to you for more than a few minutes at a time.

Solving this problem can be difficult for both sets of men but first, let's look at the similarities and the  differences.

The "wanna be" players:

If women are assuming you're a player and you're giving them every reason to believe it but you're still having little or no success, this tells me you're even failing at playing women.

That alone should give you enough encouragement or a good reason to just stop doing it immediately.

You must find a way to start seeing women as something other than a conquest or a game that needs to be won.

Lots of men get in this misogynistic way of thinking early in life based on their experiences and upbringing so it can be little difficult to overcome but it's not impossible.

The "good" guys:

Your self-esteem is tied and bound to others and that needs to be unwound. Because of this, women are seeing you as a passive-aggressive nice guy manipulator.

Most know you're not a player but they still feel like you "play" with them. You're just using difference tactics.

And as you find yourself constantly defending or changing your actions based on their assumptions of you, they distrust you even less.

Which ever category you fall in, as different as they are, YOUR LIFE appears to revolve around women.

They are constantly on your mind one way or another.

You plan life (consciously or not) around getting them or being with them or thinking about why you're not with them or why you can not get with them.

You also have a common belief that women are the root cause of most of the problems, sadness, and frustration in your life.

All that above makes a statement to women, real or not, purposely or not, good or bad...

They ASSUME you're some kind of player.

A manipulator.

It could be for a lack of a better word to define you but the overall feeling they get from you is FAR from being GENIUINE and therefore will act accordingly - distrustful and always on their guard.

"Somewhere in your life, you found out that pleasing people is a way to get other people to like you and admire you so you can feel good about yourself.

Whether it was the acclaim of your parents, or the acceptance of your friends, somewhere in your time on this planet YOU LEARNED to feel good based on what other people think of you.

But I'm here to tell you that using other people's feelings and goodwill like that is not only harmful, but dishonest!"

Do You Suffer From the Nice Guy Syndrome?

What's the solution or fix for this player problem?

Both types will have to take different paths but they will start with some major inner game work on being a mature man.

At some point in your life women became something else and more than a feminine counterpart to your masculinity.

They became an agenda and a marker for your life replacing the one you once had or missed setting for yourself early on.

Because of this unfortunate turn of events, maturity or your manhood has been stunted or put on hold.

Your END-GAME needs to change and replaced with a fresh new mind-set along with creating new workable goals that are more aligned and true to yourself as a man.

Yeah - I hear you. What? All that?

Seems to be a bit extreme especially considering this is "#31 out of 37 reasons for failing with women" while so many other ones on the list don't appear to need this much work.

Well actually, in reality, going back to step one solves practically every problem on the list but this one in particular goes very deep because games are being played, women are being manipulated and sometimes mistreated, women are being seen as less than what they are and treated like objects, and certainly not lastly but enough for now...

There's a prominent BITTERNESS going on here which goes way beyond a strong awful spit-it-out taste in your mouth that I know all too well from my personal (nice guy) experiences which needs more than just a band aid to fix.

I wasn't the player dude. Far from it.

Yet oddly enough it took me a ton a limited belief inner work to see how closely the bullshit artist player-game and nice guy passive aggressive manipulator were so eerily similar.

I was also the supposed "mature" dude, aged before my years.

Women would tell me how refreshing it was to chat with a guy who wasn't always staring at their tits or trying to get in her pants or playing games with them.

They were obviously wrong about me and wouldn't date or fuck me for many years anyways.

I may have done my duties as an adult but I certainly was NOT a mature masculine man.

As the years rolled on I became severely bitter, miserable, beyond sexually frustrated, all the while resenting and blaming women for what I say was a useless existence in the world.

So yeah - it ran deep and problems like these (#5, #6, #9, #11, #14, #23, #27, #28, #31, #37, etc...) often do.

Sometimes it's just better to save yourself lots of the time and energy and just scrap the whole thing.

Building a new secure foundation rather than patch up the holes of the old one will ultimately lead to better more rewarding results and something that will not only last your lifetime, but become a much more enjoyable productive life to live.

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The long conclusion...

Women will always assume things about you when you meet them and after you interact too.

There's not much you can do about that but...

If their assumptions are leading them to believe you're a player and it's a big reason why women don't seem to like you all that much, something needs to be done about it.

Generally speaking, players are good at what they do and too many women get fooled by them often.

This means when a woman quickly thinks you're "some" kind of player and she's not joking or flirting with you, she's most likely wrong.

You're either not very good at being one or you're too much of a nice guy.

Both will appear similar to women:

  • You treat them like an agenda.
  • You play games with them.
  • Your life revolves around them.
  • Your self-image is built around how others see you.
  • You overly defend yourself when accused of being or doing something you don't like.
  • You're always trying to prove yourself so others will see you the same way you see yourself.

Emotional manipulation must then be used to achieve either a short-term or long-term goal and is labeled as such:


Yes, I called a large group of supposed "nice guys" players.

"(...) Why Mr. Nice Guy loses with women.

First, this guy typically has a sexual "agenda" with women that a sense of personal shame keeps under wraps.


Next, "Mr. Nice Guy" is usually out to IMPRESS women by buying them stuff, doing endless favors, etc.

(...) He wouldn't do that for anyone other than a "hottie", so no woman can trust him. 

Finally, being "extra nice" is usually a direct symptom of being needy and desperate... a dead giveaway that you DO NOT HAVE OPTIONS.

(...)   if you are only about meeting your own selfish needs, you'll get nowhere with people.

And both the nice guy and the idiot/jerk/player are more interested in what they can get from a woman than they are interested in her."

The Difference Between Nice and Mr Nice Guy

Since I've been there myself and can now look back it's easy to see.

Which becomes even better because I can also see where to look ahead to eliminate the problem entirely.

The quick fixes are there as they always are. Each one surrounded by a bunch of stop signs, do's and don'ts which offer at least a little bit of help:

  • Stop treating women like objects.
  • Stop caring what others think of you.
  • Stop trying to defend who you are.
  • Stop playing any and all games.
  • Stop giving expecting to receive the same.

START being straightforward and genuinely HONEST with others starting now.

Somewhere in your life you got lost and your growth was stunted.

This is where you are today and why you're here too.

Being an adult and doing "adult" things does NOT make you a mature masculine man and therefore does not "grant" you the privileges of being one.

This will get you there:

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This post is part of the full quick tip series you can find below:

Read the one and only guide to finding out why you always screw it up with women!

It's the answer you're looking for along with reasonable and effective advice on how to fix it.

Why She Didn’t Like You – Why Girls Don’t Like You & How You Can Fix It

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About the Expert: Peter White – Dating and Attraction Expert. Creator of DiaLteG™. (dial – teg) Thanks for stopping by and giving me the opportunity to teach you a little something about women.

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The article is posted in these Categories: Mistakes – Knowing What They Are & Finding Out How To Fix Them Easily, Women Will Forever Test You – Pass Them Easily & You Will Attract Her

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