Nice guys have a bad rap in this world especially when it comes to attracting women.
Look around here, ask any nice guy, or even sign up to read my report “Why Women Are NOT Attracted to Nice Guys…” below and I’m positive you’ll understand why all too quickly.
Except today, I’m not out to bash the niceness out of you or make you feel like shit for being one. In the words of an old popular song, “It’s all been done.”
Today let’s take the one common un-attractive trait most nice guy share which can easily be changed, but also HOW it can be done.
It’s not “I’m too nice!” because as I always say, “being nice has little or nothing to do with attraction“. Absolutely NOTHING!
It’s not even the old excuse, “Why won’t she just like me for who I am?” because if you ask me LIKE has little to do with attraction either.
If you have ever found yourself physically attracted to a woman who was a pain in the ass and you just wanted to fuck her, then you’ll understand what I mean OR if you just happen to notice a few women with some hot asshole who treated her like shit, then you’ll also know what I’m talking about.
This goes a little deeper and it can be a little harder to see…
It’s about change.
Refusing to change yourself or your ways or beliefs.
How many times did you refuse to change something about yourself that just wasn’t attracting women?
I understand you want a woman to like you the way you are. After all, why should you have to change? Right. You’re a nice guy and women SHOULD like a nice guy. Why would any woman what to date a jerk.
This is also about being RIGHT.
“The Genius Failure Paradox” is the tendency for UNUSUALLY intelligent men to have very LOW levels of success with women and dating. The Ten Reasons Why HIGHLY INTELLIGENT Men Fail With Women
I have a friend who refuses to change himself and trust me this is a guy that CAN attract women. Lots of women. He just doesn’t care to budge on even the smallest of a belief that he is ALWAYS right.
He believes, when it comes to how attraction SHOULD work, he is right and SOCIETY is wrong. He claims,
“I know what attracts women but I’m not willing to BE that guy. I don’t like most people. I don’t want to have to conform to their ideas of society – just to get laid! Society is wrong. People are breeding backwards and as a race, we’re getting dumber because of it.”
Sound or feel familiar?
As a belief, fine, if that’s how you feel, who am I to say you’re wrong.
Do you know what I really hear HIM saying?
“If I DO change to attract women I will have to admit that I may have been wrong, or worse yet, admit that society is right.”
If you’re NOT attracting women consistently or finding yourself in healthy relationships, then you are going to have to change some things about you. Won’t you? Nothing is going to change all by itself. In fact history has taught us if we don’t learn from the mistakes of our past, we’re doomed to make them again.
So let me ask you these simple questions.
If you didn’t know how to throw a ball but you wanted to play, you would learn how to throw a ball wouldn’t you. You wouldn’t even think twice about it.
If you wanted to drive somewhere but you didn’t know how to drive, you would have to learn how to drive.
Stands to reason.
If you can then admit when you do learn those everyday things you are changing yourself in a small way. You’re learning a new skill which will inevitable give you new experiences.
You’re NOT changing the core of who you are.
You’re just learning a few new skill sets to accomplish something you want to do.
So why do so many “nice guys” have a problem when they’re asked to change something about themselves to attract more women when no respectable expert in the dating who have “real” advice would ever ask him to change the core person he is.
Like my friend, I too suffered from the misconception that I was giving in to society and so I tried to keep myself unique in my approach. In my attitude. In my so to speak, “NICENESS” to women.
I once reviewed Secrets to Success With Women for Shorter Men. because I’m a short guy who struggled with my height in my “early” years. 🙂 In the program Scot demonstrates four ways to be a highly attractive man regardless of your height, looks, or wealth.
He mentions one important fact many times during the program. In fact I’ve heard this from so many different attraction and dating experts I must share it with you and risk breaking his copyrighted legal deal with me:
“When you learn this stuff, and learn to integrate into your subconscious, or assimilate it, you will know what around 85% to 90% of guys will never know, or are willing to learn.”
When I heard that, it finally hit me.
It was a revelation I will never forget and it has everything to do with changing this un-attractive trait… that you’re right and society is wrong and women should FEEL attracted to a nice guy… and that by changing yourself you’re admitting you were wrong all along.
BUT, You are in NO way proclaiming society is right and that you were wrong all along.
And why is that?
Because you are actually deciding to stand out and live in the top percent of men and you’re doing it without having to resort to silly pathetic mind games.
You’re not conforming to society but rising above it and separating yourself from what every other nice guy is doing, which is NOT working for THEM.
And that alone is an attractive trait ALL women are attracted to. Yes. ALL!
A unique individual who is NOT afraid to grow as a person.
The one trait a nice guy has that is considered unattractive to women is his unwillingness to step out of societies “normal” views to truly enhance himself.
Assuming majority rules in the end. Assuming most nice guys will generally settle for a relationship with a woman who would have him. Assuming a small percentage of men have the majority of choices of every woman alive…
Changing yourself or learning some real attraction skills is in no way admitting you were wrong.
It’s in no way conforming to society or giving up a uniqueness you’re so desperately trying to hold on to.
BECAUSE on the top of the list of men with the most choices, the guys who get women, the guys who naturally attract women WITHOUT playing games is home to a very small percentage of them.
You’re NOT lumping yourself into the masses…
You’re separating yourself and deciding to rise above it all to BE the most attractive man you can be.