I met a young woman once and she was all over me.
A hot nineteen year old full of energy and full of life.
She was even dating another woman when we met. Yeah… she went there and she went there with women who were hotter than any woman I had even slept with myself.
She was the “party type” but she had ambition. She was working on becoming a famous hairdresser.
When she wanted something, and I mean anything, she got it.
With her I got to do things like go from crappy ass seats at a concert to front row and then hanging out with the bouncers. She even introduced me to “The Smashing Pumpkins” once.
She was going places and I was determined to stay close by her side.
She bought me the most incredible birthday gifts and even came home with a kitten once to replace my lost cat.
Really now, what kind of girl does that who’s not worth keeping?
Once she mentioned how she wanted to going skiing with me but I was way too broke to join so when Christmas came around I found a pair of skis and she even set me up for the bindings too.
She could talk to me for hours.
She loved working with me.
We use to walk or jog home after work ( before we lived together. ) Every free night we would drive around for hours just talking and hanging out.
We did everything together.
Did I mention she was all over me?
In fact this woman was so into me she refused to BE with me because she was not ready for a committed relationship.
And I actually believed her.
She was SO into me she tried to hook me up with her stripper friends to make me happy.
She was SO into me she brought me lunch at my new job, paid for almost everything, and even furnished our new apartment.
Who could ask for anything more than that, right?
I’m with you there…
I HAD to have her!
One evening we went out for ice cream and a ride and that’s when I popped the (ahem ahem) question.
“I haven’t been with a woman in so long but you…you’re different and I like you. Please, would you be my girlfriend?”
No freaking lie man.
I actually revealed my innermost feelings to her by letting her know how long it’s been since I’ve been with another woman.
You see I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I was being different from the “dicks” she was used to dating.
I respected her and I treated her like I felt she deserved.
She told me I was too old for her. Told me she didn’t want to ruin the friendship.
She even gave me advice on what I needed to do to get a girlfriend…but insisted that someone was not and will never be her.
Did I mention how she was totally into me?
I missed every sign in the book.
I confused her friendly affections to actually feeling attracted to me.
I confused her acceptance as being a secret sexual connection.
Here’s the real kicker and if you’re a nice guy you’ll know exactly what I mean.
I believed her choice to not be my girlfriend was a well thought out logically chosen path in her life.
I felt she couldn’t live without my friendship therefore chose to not take it to a sexual level.
And I despised her so much for this choice I literally begged her one evening with my sad story of all my failures with women to sleep with me.
So I settled for her help but resented her choice.
I was hiding my depression over her while I was living a very angry life.
But she was sticking to her plan so a part of me thought maybe she was telling the truth.
I thought maybe she did have sexual feelings for me but needed to focus on her career and being tied down to a guy would slow her down.
I actually believed every reason she gave me. Talk about gullible.
Well one day she mentioned this jerk she met at a friend’s house.
She said she fooled around with him a little but that was it. He was way too much of a jerk for her to sleep with.
And I believed that too.
I met him one night before we lived with each other. He was okay looking. Her age. Her height. He seemed harmless except for one thing…
He teased the hell out of her.
He made fun of her.
He was rude and sometimes belligerent towards her.
But for some reason she always laughed it off. She told me that’s just the way he is.
How she could handle him and deep down, he was a sweetheart. (…and yes I believed her.)
The months flew by and when we moved in together I thought HE was finally out of “our” life. She never mentioned him any more. She didn’t hang around where he did and He didn’t come around to visit.
I was happy to see him go and was seriously thinking now how this girl was so different. She could actually refuse the bad boy.
She wasn’t into jerks and since she was unlike any other woman I thought I knew I would make her mine one day.
All I had to do was keep her close and acting like a boyfriend and one fateful night our lips would meet and I would be in. (…and I believed myself. )
BUT of course it all fell apart.
She disappeared for almost a week. No calls. No notes. She literally fell off the face of my earth.
This was after we spent almost every waking hour together.
I was left more than confused and demanded an answer.
Little did I know at the time I didn’t want to hear it…