You’re a good guy struggling to meet women outside of your job.
You don’t like to go to clubs and bars are absolutely out of the question.
You can’t even begin to approach women at the market and your local coffee shop has the ambiance of a high school cafeteria.
So how do you solve this problem of being single with little or no dating life?
What does a nice guy do?
You go online of course.
You figure you’ll pick from tons of single women who will get to know your personality first and you won’t have to rely on your “looks.”
Great idea right?
And it does not go as well as you expected.
The problem is you have no luck with women, you don’t understand women much, and they call you a “nice guy.” So what happens when you go online…
You make the same mistakes and get the same results!
Although the online experience can be a little different from the real world, if you don’t really understand how to make a woman feel attraction for you, it’s not going to be any different in “cyberland” either.
And sooner or later you’re going to have to meet up with her.
If you feel online dating is still your best choice then please keep reading and I will give you some proven advice to make it easier for you.
Keep reading because I’m going to make sure you have a clear idea of what to do and what not to do.
First Key Point:
Women who are on paid dating sites, ( this does not include social sites ) are there for a reason…to find dates.
She probably will expect you to take her out, wine and dine her, and prove to her that you are worth seeing again. If this is not you then I would suggest you find a good medium-sized social site and use it to perfect your interactions with women instead.
Second Key Point:
For every email you send to a woman she is receiving ten times as much or more.
She will flip through your profile like she is shopping. A quick glance at your picture. Then your headline. She’ll probably read your profile before even reading your email.
Keep that order in mind when you’re building a profile or sending a message.
AND she’s also probably doing something else while she’s doing it. I see lots of guys stare at their screen for hours plugging away at something but women are different. They will make dinner, talk with their friends, watch a show, play a game, check out other web pages – all the while checking out a latest list of profiles.
Third Key Point:
When a woman is searching for men she will narrow her search in this order:
You’re going to need to know things like that. It will help you to stand out. You have to learn to get in her mind so you can give yourself the opportunity to be found.
You want your profile to be one of the first few she’s seen.
Fourth Key Point:
The longer she’s online and searching will decrease her attention to it.
Her interest in reading yet another profile will quickly turn to scanning and choosing more rapidly.
This means you need to act quickly. ( Unless you’re looking at “online” users. In that case relax a little.)
Don’t spend forever thinking of the perfect thing to say because she’ll be gone.
The online reality for men is a lot like being trapped in a room with ten women and five hundred guys who are all looking for the hottest girl. And to get her attention you’re not allowed to scream, yell, or hold your hand up pointing to yourself.
Fifth Key Point:
People do hook up online.
Some get married.
Some find life long friends.
Some enjoy casual sex.
But most of them fail because the odds are stacked against them.
It is what it is and if you do rely on the internet to solve your dating problems you’re missing where your odds are so much greater – a large social circle of friends and relatives.
I’m not saying don’t do it. I’m telling you to keep it where it belongs… just another option to find a woman you just might be able to settle down with.
More than Helpful Tips – Rules and Research of Online Dating
1. Know your competition
Check out other men’s profiles. Particularly the successful ones. This is why I like online social dating sites because I can see what men are saying and how they respond.
Learn from them what to do and what not to do.
For example if you read ten men’s profiles and 7 of them start with. “Hey! My name is… I am looking ….” Then make sure you don’t do it.
Remember you have to stand out.
You ave a limited time to capture her attention and then even less to keep her interested.
2. Your pictures are extremely important.
Look at all aspects of where it was taken, how you are standing, your smile, and even how that same photograph will look shrunk down to a thumbnail size.
Show action pictures which tell a little about what you like to do outside.
Be a photographer. Imagine those pictures will be on the cover of a magazine.
Take lots of pictures and find some friends to choose their favorites. Get your picture rated if you have to.
If it’s not obvious no shirtless ones unless they’re part of what you’re doing.
No pictures of you hanging out with several hot women.
No pictures of you standing next to your expensive car.
I believe the key rule to remember is, if you’re questioning whether to put a pic up is:
If it looks like you’re trying too hard or out to pick up a woman who would only care how much money you have, or if it looks like you’re trying display false confidence – then don’t post it.
Trust me it’s really that simple.
3. Grammar is an invaluable tool.
Write how you would talk to someone but use complete words.
- Don’t abbreviate everything.
- Don’t have a lit of spelling errors.
- Opt for action words that describe.
- Don’t oversell yourself trying to make you look good.
- Avoid all negative judgmental bullshit.
- Use your words effectively and sparingly.
- Write your profile the same way you would send a message.
How you write is everything online because it’s how you send messages, responds to email, and write your profile.
Here’s my series for all the details on writing online:
- How To Write A Headline That Gets Women Interested In Reading Your Profile – Part Two
- How To Write A Perfect Online Profile Women Will Want to Read – Part Three
4.Your time is valuable.
Don’t waste it writing to women you are not actually interested in just because you think she’s hot…
If you’re goal is to learn how to talk to attractive women then go for it.
But just because she has a hot picture or two doesn’t mean you have to give it a shot. That’s what every other guy out there is going to do. And most likely if her profile sucks but her pictures are good, she’s not real anyways.
These fake women are even on paid sites. Learn how to spot them quickly.
Come up with a set time to “do your thing” and know when to stop.
If you limit the time you spend online you’ll have a better chance of making sure you get it right.
If you’re staring at her profile for more than a minute, save it or just move on. Don’t linger around hoping you’ll come up with a message to send her.
It won’t come out right and you want to train yourself to act on her profile as if she was in the room with you.
The quick rule of approach works the same way online and it will get you looking at more profiles and spending less time thinking about what to say.
5. Your first email must not be a book.
If you can not say it in one paragraph or less, it’s too long.
Your first email is the approach. It’s the ice breaker. It should only look to get one thing – a response from her.
Ask a question or invite her to get back to you.
Remember above how women go through their messages or how quickly they lose interest, or how they’re doing other things at the same time? Well then why would you waste your time writing something long.
Assume she’s going to skim it over to get to the good stuff – your profile.
If it’s open here are some more details I wrote on writing messages:
6. Move or step through the process quickly.
Don’t talk to someone for months before meeting them. A couple of emails back and forth, get their phone number, call them, then meet them.
Preferable in public setting where both of you can feel comfortable.
Here is what you should read to help you move it along quicker while still gaining interest and attraction. It’s what women respond best to online:
7. Get some REAL professional help and spend your money wisely.
Don’t settle with a long time commitment and do your homework first.
Look for guarantees or money back if you are not satisfied.
Take the time to study and find a service that will work the best for your area. Go there and search for local singles before you ever hand over your credit card.
If you want to increase your odds immeasurably – get some paid help.
If you’re willing to spend that kind of money, and you have it to spend, cut back on the cost of the actual date and use it to get you more dates.
Use your money to learn how have to less expensive dates which are fun and cheap. Here is some help with that:
- Innovative Ideas For Dates She Will Never Forget
- The Cheapest Places To Meet Women Even If You’re Under 21 – Where you can meet women is also where you can take a date to and very inexpensive.
- Don’t Pay For Her Attention! Fun Date Ideas & Better Dating Techniques
Join a few free social sites to practice and then when you’re ready, go to a paid site because again, as I mentioned above – women who pay to find dates online are there for one reason – to date you!
This is the EXACT program I bought to help me achieve REAL success online. A lot of what you read today comes from my experience but also from this: Meeting Women Online – A Proven System For Getting Tons Of Dates With Amazing Women Online… With Almost Zero Effort.
Here are a few quick posts from the people who taught me posted here at DiaLteG TM:
- 4 Step Guide to Meeting Women – How to Use Facebook to Meet Women
- Profile Liars – Become Her Real Fantasy Don’t Give Her Your Fantasy Self
- Online Traffic – Don’t Get Lost With Internet Dating – Challenge Her
Awesome Online Dating Statistics:
(For those who like to look at numbers and stuff 🙂 )
- Online-Dating-Industry-Facts-Statistics (not here)
- Online Dating Advice: Exactly What to Say In A First Message – Great pure facts about your messages from Okcupid.