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Online Dating Help For The “Nice Guy” To Meet Women

in Dating, Nice Guy, Online
This is online dating for the nice guy who wants to succeed.

You’re a good guy struggling to meet women outside of your job.

You don’t like to go to clubs and bars are absolutely out of the question.

You can’t even begin to approach women at the market and your local coffee shop has the ambiance of a high school cafeteria.

So how do you solve this problem of being single with little or no dating life?

What does a nice guy do?

You go online of course.

You figure you’ll pick from tons of single women who will get to know your personality first and you won’t have to rely on your “looks.”

Great idea right?


And it does not go as well as you expected.

The problem is you have no luck with women, you don’t understand women much, and they call you a “nice guy.” So what happens when you go online…

You make the same mistakes and get the same results!

Although the online experience can be a little different from the real world, if you don’t really understand how to make a woman feel attraction for you, it’s not going to be any different in “cyberland” either.

And sooner or later you’re going to have to meet up with her.

If you feel online dating is still your best choice then please keep reading and I will give you some proven advice to make it easier for you.

Keep reading because I’m going to make sure you have a clear idea of what to do and what not to do.

First Key Point:

Women who are on paid dating sites, ( this does not include social sites )  are there for a reason…to find dates.

She probably will expect you to take her out, wine and dine her, and prove to her that you are worth seeing again. If this is not you then I would suggest you find a good medium-sized social site and use it to perfect your interactions with women instead.

Second Key Point:

For every email you send to a woman she is receiving ten times as much or more.

She will flip through your profile like she is shopping. A quick glance at your picture. Then your headline. She’ll probably read your profile before even reading your email.

Keep that order in mind when you’re building a profile or sending a message.

AND she’s also probably doing something else while she’s doing it. I see lots of guys stare at their screen for hours plugging away at something but women are different. They will make dinner, talk with their friends, watch a show, play a game, check out other web pages – all the while checking out a latest list of profiles.

Third Key Point:

When a woman is searching for men she will narrow her search in this order:

  1. Local
  2. Newest
  3. Age

You’re going to need to know things like that. It will help you to stand out. You have to learn to get in her mind so you can give yourself the opportunity to be found.

You want your profile to be one of the first few she’s seen.

Fourth Key Point:

The longer she’s online and searching will decrease her attention to it.

Her interest in reading yet another profile will quickly turn to scanning and choosing more rapidly.

This means you need to act quickly. ( Unless you’re looking at “online” users. In that case relax a little.)

Don’t spend forever thinking of the perfect thing to say because she’ll be gone.

The online reality for men is a lot like being trapped in a room with ten women and five hundred guys who are all looking for the hottest girl. And to get her attention you’re not allowed to scream, yell, or hold your hand up pointing to yourself.

Fifth Key Point:

People do hook up online.

Some get married.

Some find life long friends.

Some enjoy casual sex.

But most of them fail because the odds are stacked against them.

It is what it is and if you do rely on the internet to solve your dating problems you’re missing where your odds are so much greater – a large social circle of friends and relatives.

I’m not saying don’t do it. I’m telling you to keep it where it belongs… just another option to find a woman you just might be able to settle down with.

More than Helpful Tips – Rules and Research of Online Dating

1. Know your competition

Check out other men’s profiles. Particularly the successful ones. This is why I like online social dating sites because I can see what men are saying and how they respond.

Learn from them what to do and what not to do.

For example if you read ten men’s profiles and 7 of them start with. “Hey! My name is… I am looking ….”  Then make sure you don’t do it.

Remember you have to stand out.

You ave a limited time to capture her attention and then even less to keep her interested.

2. Your pictures are extremely important.

Look at all aspects of where it was taken, how you are standing, your smile, and even how that same photograph will look shrunk down to a thumbnail size.

Show action pictures which tell a little about what you like to do outside.

Be a photographer. Imagine those pictures will be on the cover of a magazine.

Take lots of pictures and find some friends to choose their favorites. Get your picture rated if you have to.

If it’s not obvious no shirtless ones unless they’re part of what you’re doing.

No pictures of you hanging out with several hot women.

No pictures of you standing next to your expensive car.

I believe the key rule to remember is, if you’re questioning whether to put a pic up is:

If it looks like you’re trying too hard or out to pick up a woman who would only care how much money you have, or if it looks like you’re trying display false confidence – then don’t post it.

Trust me it’s really that simple.

3. Grammar is an invaluable tool.

Write how you would talk to someone but use complete  words.

  • Don’t abbreviate everything.
  • Don’t have a lit of spelling errors.
  • Opt for action words that describe.
  • Don’t oversell yourself trying to make you look good.
  • Avoid all negative judgmental bullshit.
  • Use your words effectively and sparingly.
  • Write your profile the same way you would send a message.

How you write is everything online because it’s how you send messages, responds to email, and write your profile.

Here’s my series for all the details on writing online:

4.Your time is valuable.

Don’t waste it writing to women you are not actually interested in just because you think she’s hot…

If you’re goal is to learn how to talk to attractive women then go for it.

But just because she has a hot picture or two doesn’t mean you have to give it a shot. That’s what every other guy out there is going to do. And most likely if her profile sucks but her pictures are good, she’s not real anyways.

These fake women are even on paid sites. Learn how to spot them quickly.

Come up with a set time to “do your thing” and know when to stop.

If you limit the time you spend online you’ll have a better chance of making sure you get it right.

If you’re staring at her profile for more than a minute, save it or just move on. Don’t linger around hoping you’ll come up with a message to send her.

It won’t come out right and you want to train yourself to act on her profile as if she was in the room with you.

The quick rule of approach works the same way online and it will get you looking at more profiles and spending less time thinking about what to say.

5. Your first email must not be a book.

If you can not say it in one paragraph or less, it’s too long.

Your first email is the approach. It’s the ice breaker. It should only look to get one thing –  a response from her.

That’s it.

Ask a question or invite her to get back to you.

Remember above how women go through their messages or how quickly they lose interest, or how they’re doing other things at the same time? Well then why would you waste your time writing something long.

Assume she’s going to skim it over to get to the good stuff – your profile.

If it’s open here are some more details I wrote on writing messages:

6. Move or step through the process quickly.

Don’t talk to someone for months before meeting them. A couple of emails back and forth, get their phone number, call them, then  meet them.

Preferable in public setting where both of you can feel comfortable.

Here is what you should read to help you move it along quicker while still gaining interest and attraction. It’s what women respond best to online:

7. Get some REAL professional help and spend your money wisely.

Don’t settle with a long time commitment and do your homework first.

Look for guarantees or money back if you are not satisfied.

Take the time to study and find a service that will work the best for your area. Go there and search for local singles before you ever hand over your credit card.

If you want to increase your odds immeasurably – get some paid help.

If you’re willing to spend that kind of money, and you have it to spend, cut back on the cost of the actual date and use it to get you more dates.

Use your money to learn how have to less expensive dates which are fun and cheap. Here is some help with that:

Join a few free social sites to practice and then when you’re ready, go to a paid site because again, as I mentioned above – women who pay to find dates online are there for one reason – to date you!

Here is a list of all the online social sites available and a little info on each one from Wikipedia.

This is the EXACT program I bought to help me achieve REAL success online. A lot of what you read today comes from my experience but also from this: Meeting Women OnlineA Proven System For Getting Tons Of Dates With Amazing Women Online… With Almost Zero Effort.

Here are a few quick posts from the people who taught me posted here at DiaLteG TM:

Awesome Online Dating Statistics:

(For those who like to look at numbers and stuff 🙂 )

About the author: Creator of the nice guy approach, why do guys, why do chics, and DiaLteG TM. Transformed from a nice guy kiss ass who wanted women to like me for “who I was” to an attractive “good guy” who knows what it takes to create attraction and succeed with women, dating, and relationships.

Please visit all my pages: The Nice Guy Approach | The Approach | Why Do Guys…? | Why Do Chics…? OR Like my Facebook fan pages: Why Do Chics…? | DiaLteG TM OR JOIN the best group on women at Why Do Chics…?. Yes, I’m a very busy guy. 🙂 Oh… I almost forgot Twitter – Peter White.

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2 comments… add one
  • Rohan

    For online game, does height matter? I’m a 5’2 guy, and I know many women filter by height and have “height requirements”. Is it better for me to avoid online game and just do game offline?

    • Hello Rohan,

      I’d like to say no BUT it can matter more online because women will do exactly what you thought… narrow their search down to just taller men.

      However… there’s something positive here which you don’t get “offline”. You can get women to fall for you or become highly attracted to you BEFORE she even knows what your height it. Something I learned from experience. Women I dealt with online assumed by my attitude that I was some tall dude but before they knew the truth, it was too late.

      Don’t get me wrong. I have known guys who get turned down AFTER they meet up and she realizes they’re short so it’s not all good. I have also known women to discount a guy just because of their height and in the “real world” you won’t be wasting your time with them. (Now usually it’s HER problem and not yours and they should not be bothered with anyways.)

      My advice is the same:

      Always do both. Learn how to get her attracted to you first. Learn how to deal with those “height” questions and how to answer them in an attractive way.

      And as always – never put up a profile hoping women will come to you. GO to them first.

      Don’t get discouraged by the few women who will blow you off (online or in person) just because you’re short.

      Think of it this way – YOU have your standards too. Whether or not you or someone else believes some of those standards are superficial does NOT make them any smaller or less important. It’s just the way things are. Women will have preferences and sometimes they refuse to take things further with shorter men but I will say, once the attraction is there and she can’t get you out of her head – her preferences mean little.

      MOST women will let her feelings for a guy override any of her preferences and once she feels it that deeply, can’t be talked out of it or made to believe anything else.

      So don’t worry about the height thing – create the attraction first. Learn to answer the height questions in a fun clever way to increase the attraction.

      Ignore her profile when she writes things like, “I like a tall guy.” “I only go for tall guys”.

      Also don’t waste your valuable time “trying” to change her preference. CREATE attraction quickly, meet her as quickly as possible to avoid turning it into an online relationship and NEVER for one second believe you can’t have even the hottest woman on the planet, just because you’re short.

      Thanks for the great question. Now go have fun. 🙂


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