Want to Get More Dates Online? 5 Secrets & 7 Tips for the Nice Guy

Here's the deal... You're a good guy struggling to meet women outside of your job. You don't like to go to clubs and bars are absolutely out of the question.

You can't even begin to approach women at the market and your local coffee shop has the ambiance of a high school cafeteria.

So how do you solve this problem of being single with little or no dating life?

You go online of course.

You figure you'll pick from tons of single women who will get to know your personality first and you won't have to rely on your "looks".

Great idea, right?


The REAL problem is you have no luck or success with women, you don't understand them much at all, and you've been rejected too many times with same old excuse, "You're a nice guy, BUT..."

So what happens when you go online...

You make the same mistakes and get the same results!

Although the online experience can be a little different from the real world, if you don't really understand how to make a woman feel attraction for you, it's not going to be any different in "cyberland" either.

You still have to attract her and (sooner or later) you're going to have to meet her which will certainly bring up all your previous "real world" problems with women.

But hey... it's not all bad news.

Your enthusiasm and resolves to find a date online should be rewarded and it will be today.

Here is some specific advice and tips for a nice guy like you to succeed in dating online.

First thing you must remember is... great news!

Women who are on paid dating sites (this does not include social sites)  are there for a reason...to find a date with a good guy.

BUT... (Don't you just hate it when someone gives you good news followed by a but? Yeah, me too!)

She probably will expect you to take her out, wine and dine her, and prove to her that you are worth seeing again.

If this is not you then I would suggest you find a good medium-sized social site and use it to perfect your interactions with women first.

Second thing to remember or understand in this case...

For every email you send to a woman she is receiving ten times as much or even more IF she's just that good.

She will flip through your profile like she is shopping. A quick glance at your picture. Then your headline. She'll probably even read your profile before even reading your email.

Keep that order in mind when you're building a profile or sending a message.

AND the worst part is that she's more than likely doing something else while she's checking you out.

Guys like you and me will stare at the computer screen or phone for hours plugging away at something but women are different.

They will make dinner, talk with their friends, watch a show, play a game, check out other web pages - all the while checking out a latest list of profiles which will hopefully includes yours.

Third important thing to remember which is definitely going to help you out...

When a woman is searching for men she will narrow her search in this order:

  1. Local within a general dating distance.
  2. Newest. Who's new. What new guys are now available.
  3. Age. She wants a very specific age range.
  4. Possibly your height.
  5. Then possibly your likes and dislikes or "hobbies".

You're going to need to know things like that. It will help you stand out among the sea of other nice guys doing the same thing.

You have to learn to get in her mind so you can give yourself the opportunity to be found and this is how you do it.

You want your profile to ALWAYS be one of the first she sees because the more guys she checks the more the all blend into nothingness.

Which brings up the fourth secret to success online to know about BEFORE you start the process...

The longer she's online searching her attention will decrease unfortunately according to several factors like:

  • How long it's been since she had a date.
  • How desperate she is to find a date.
  • How many dates she's lined up.
  • How many bad dates she's had from meeting guys online.

This goes for daily searches to weekly searches alike.

In a sitting - Her interest in reading yet another profile will quickly turn to scanning and choosing more rapidly.

This means you need to ACT QUICKLY. (Unless you're looking at "online" users. In that case relax a little.)

Don't spend forever thinking of the perfect thing to say because she'll be gone.

If you are given a time frame of how long she's been on the site, look at it, because the longer her profile is up, the LESS likely she's still there OR worth messaging.

So do NOT waste your time on them. No excuses. Hoping she'll see it is NOT worth it. There are plenty of other women to message.

Imagine this if you will because it's quite scary... and is another reason you don't want to waste any time messaging women who haven't been active in a while AND why you must act quick and then move on to the next one.

The online reality for men is a lot like being trapped in a room with ten women and five hundred guys who are all looking for the hottest girl.

AND for you to capture or get her attention the right way you are NOT allowed to scream, yell, or hold your hand up pointing to yourself.

Moving on to the fifth key point and with some good news but also the stark cold reality of online dating...

People do hook up online.

Some get married.

Some find life long friends.

Some enjoy casual sex.

But most of them fail because the odds are stacked against them. (There's that but again!)

It is what it is and if you do rely on the internet to solve your dating problems you're missing where your odds are so much greater - A large social circle of friends and relatives.

I'm not saying don't do it. I'm telling you to keep it where it belongs... online dating works best if it's used as another option and not the ONLY place to meet women you could date.

Now that the "key points" or reality or secrets to online dating is done let's move on to some...

Helpful Tips - Rules and Research of Online Dating:

1. Know your competition

Check out other men's profiles. Particularly the successful ones. This is why  social dating sites are great but unfortunately there are not many of them left. They allow you to see the interactions between the men and women.

Learn from them what to do and what not to do.

For example if you read ten men's profiles and 7 of them start with. "Hey! My name is... I am looking ...."  Then make sure you don't do it.

Remember you have to stand out.

You ave a limited time to capture her attention and then even less time to keep her interested.

2. Your pictures are extremely important.

Look at all aspects of where it was taken, how you are standing, your smile, and even how that same photograph will look shrunk down to a thumbnail size.

Show action pictures which tell a little about what you like to do.

Be a photographer. Imagine those pictures will be on the cover of a magazine.

Take lots of pictures and find some friends to choose their favorites. Get your picture rated if you have to through a reliable source, not your Mother or sister either.

If it's not obvious no shirtless ones unless they're part of what you're doing like on a beach or something like that but even then, think twice before you put it up.

No pictures of you hanging out with several hot women.

No pictures of you standing next to your expensive car.

The key rule to remember is, if you're questioning whether to put a pic up is:

If it looks like you're trying too hard or out to pick up a woman who would only care how much money you have, or if it looks like you're trying display false confidence - then don't post it.

Trust me it's really just that simple and while you're checking out your competition you'll quickly see and take not of what NOT to post.

If it disgusts you - it will certainly turn her away.

Next tip...

3. Grammar is an invaluable tool.

Write how you would talk to someone but use complete  words.

  • Don't abbreviate everything.
  • Don't have a ton of spelling errors.
  • Opt for action words that describe.
  • Don't oversell yourself trying to make you look good.
  • Avoid all negative judgmental bullshit.
  • Use your words effectively and sparingly.
  • Write your profile the same way you would send a message.

How you write is everything online because it's how you send messages, responds to emails, and write your profile.

4. Your time is valuable.

Don't waste it writing to women you are not actually interested in just because you think she's hot...

UNLESS your goal is to learn how to talk to attractive women then go ahead and practice on them all you want.

But just because she has a hot picture or two doesn't mean you have to give it a shot. That's what every other guy out there is going to do.

Think about this...  if her profile sucks but her pictures are good, she's not real anyways.

These fake women are even on paid sites. Learn how to spot them quickly.

Come up with a set time to "do your thing" and know when to stop yourself. You must avoid getting addicted to messaging women or looking at their profiles.

If you limit the time you spend online you'll have a better chance of making sure you get it right.

If you're staring at her profile for more than a minute, save it or just move on.

Don't linger around hoping you'll come up with a message to send her.

It won't come out right and you want to train yourself to act on her profile as if she was in the room with you.

The quick rule of approach works the same way online and it will get you looking at more profiles and spending less time thinking about what to say.

5. Your first email must not be a book.

If you can not say it in one paragraph or less, it's too long.

Your first email is the approach. It's the ice breaker. It should only look to get one thing -  a response from her.

That's it.

Ask a question or invite her to get back to you.

Remember above how women go through their messages or how quickly they lose interest, or how they're doing other things at the same time?

Well then why would you waste your time writing something long.

Assume she's going to skim it over to get to the good stuff - your profile.

Never forget the order - she'll get your message and most of the time she will go right to your profile before she even reads.

6. Move or step through the process quickly.

Don't talk to someone for months before meeting them. A couple of emails back and forth, get their phone number, call them, then meet up with them.

Preferable in public setting where both of you can feel comfortable.

7. Get some REAL professional help and spend your money wisely.

Don't settle with a long time commitment and do your homework first.

Look for guarantees or money back if you are not satisfied.

Take the time to study and find a service that will work the best for your area. Go there and search for local singles before you ever hand over your credit card.

If you want to increase your odds immeasurably - get some paid help.

If you're willing to spend that kind of money, and you have it to spend, cut back on the cost of the actual date and use it to get you more dates.

Use your money to learn how have to less expensive dates which are fun and cheap. Here is some help with that:

Innovative Ideas For Dates She Will Never Forget

The Cheapest Places To Meet Women Even If You’re Under 21

32 Great Date Places Where To Go and Meet Her Plus 7 Tips On Dating

Join a few free social sites to practice and then when you're ready, go to a paid site because again, as I mentioned above - women who pay to find dates online are there for one reason - to date you!

Here is a list of all the online social sites available and a little info on each one from Wikipedia.

Below is the EXACT program which helped me achieve REAL success online and quickly too.

A lot of the tips and advice you were given today came from the experiences I got and from going through Meeting Women Online by David DeAngelo.

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About the Expert: Peter White – Dating and Attraction Expert. Creator of DiaLteG™. (dial – teg) Thanks for stopping by and giving me the opportunity to teach you a little something about women.

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The article is posted in these Categories: Dating – Advice, Tips, How To Enjoy and Have Better Dates, Meeting – Approaching – Opening – Starting Conversations – No fears

Leave a Comment

2 comments… add one
  • Rohan

    For online game, does height matter? I’m a 5’2 guy, and I know many women filter by height and have “height requirements”. Is it better for me to avoid online game and just do game offline?

    • Hello Rohan,

      I’d like to say no BUT it can matter more online because women will do exactly what you thought… narrow their search down to just taller men.

      However… there’s something positive here which you don’t get “offline”. You can get women to fall for you or become highly attracted to you BEFORE she even knows what your height it. Something I learned from experience. Women I dealt with online assumed by my attitude that I was some tall dude but before they knew the truth, it was too late.

      Don’t get me wrong. I have known guys who get turned down AFTER they meet up and she realizes they’re short so it’s not all good. I have also known women to discount a guy just because of their height and in the “real world” you won’t be wasting your time with them. (Now usually it’s HER problem and not yours and they should not be bothered with anyways.)

      My advice is the same:

      Always do both. Learn how to get her attracted to you first. Learn how to deal with those “height” questions and how to answer them in an attractive way.

      And as always – never put up a profile hoping women will come to you. GO to them first.

      Don’t get discouraged by the few women who will blow you off (online or in person) just because you’re short.

      Think of it this way – YOU have your standards too. Whether or not you or someone else believes some of those standards are superficial does NOT make them any smaller or less important. It’s just the way things are. Women will have preferences and sometimes they refuse to take things further with shorter men but I will say, once the attraction is there and she can’t get you out of her head – her preferences mean little.

      MOST women will let her feelings for a guy override any of her preferences and once she feels it that deeply, can’t be talked out of it or made to believe anything else.

      So don’t worry about the height thing – create the attraction first. Learn to answer the height questions in a fun clever way to increase the attraction.

      Ignore her profile when she writes things like, “I like a tall guy.” “I only go for tall guys”.

      Also don’t waste your valuable time “trying” to change her preference. CREATE attraction quickly, meet her as quickly as possible to avoid turning it into an online relationship and NEVER for one second believe you can’t have even the hottest woman on the planet, just because you’re short.

      Thanks for the great question. Now go have fun. 🙂