If you’re looking for “real” answers from women about what attracts them, make sure you read this today.
Women reveal their secrets to me about everything from what they want from a man to their most deepest sexual desires.
Warning – If you don’t understand how to “read between her lines” you will drive yourself crazy trying to match up with their answers. Understanding women is NOT about memorizing what she says she wants and then “trying” to recreate it for her.
I learned from my failures the hard way.
I misunderstood the answers I thought I already knew and often they were based on a negative belief system with women.
So I’ll do my best to help you avoid my past mistakes so you can see the real deal in attracting women.
The questions below were given directly to women. I’ll list their answer first and then show you what they really mean.
1. What is the one thing a nice guy does which instantly puts him in the friend’s zone?
ANSWER: “Shows a lack of confidence in how he presents himself.”
A woman with ability and experience can spot or assume your confidence from across a room.
BUT she’s not looking for you to show her you’re confident.
All you have to do is be confident in many areas such as strong body language, vocal inflections, and to not be afraid of being a sexy guy and of course to live your life with purpose.
The important thing to remember it’s not about trying to be confident for most guys, but by NOT telegraphing your insecurities.
Your confidence should also never come directly or be based on women alone. There has to be more to your strength.
2. You’re not physically attracted to a guy and he did nothing to create attraction when you met, can he ever change your mind or make you feel something more?
ANSWER: “If looks were everything to me, yes. But they’re not. I want a man who can make me feel emotions and not just turn me on with his looks. I’m not shallow. I want more. If he can do this despite his average looks it just makes him that much more exciting attractive to me.”
Even IF a woman is not turned on by your looks or outward appearance, she can still find you sexually exciting and attractive.
This is done through your personality, strength, masculinity, indifference, and how you make her feel during your interactions. Sometimes more and sometimes less.
Way too many men believe looks are everything because this is how they feel in their own attraction but this is not how most women experience it because, if it’s not obvious – they are not men.
The key to this answer is “despite his average looks.” That is what women really want.
A guy who does not feel the need to rely on his looks or believe it’s all about his physical attractiveness.
3. Have you ever entered a relationship or became romantically involved with a close friend?
ANSWER: “No. Good friends are hard to find and I don’t like taking the chance of losing any of them.”
Women do NOT like to trade a friendship for sex and that’s exactly what it’s going to feel like to her if it happens.
If you are on these pages to learn about women you probably already knew that. If not, you just might have to get over the fact that once you are friends with her you may NEVER be anything more.
I know it hurts. So you either risk it quickly and move on or waste a lot of time and energy on someone when it might not happen. That choice is yours to make of course.
I realize the friend’s zone is a major issue for men and I also understand how hard it can be to get out of it when you’re in it.
My best advice is to figure out how to avoid it entirely. The next question covers it a little but for a more complete course make sure you read this: Eliminate The Friends Zone.
The key to this answer is “good friends are hard to find.” This also means “good men are hard to find.” Remember that the next time you find yourself slipping into her friends zone.
If you can be a man who offers more than just friendship as a substitution for a real relationship she will do everything and anything to avoid losing that part.
Just like she does not want to take the chance of ruining a good friendship she NEVER wants to destroy or lose a great relationship either.
4. In the least amount of words, what is the most important thing a nice guy can do to increase his chances of staying out of the friend’s zone?
ANSWER: “Be confident and show a lack of insecurities.”
Those are two traits of a sexually attractive man. He’s confident and his life does not revolve around what others think of him and he does not revolve around her or women in general.
I’m sure you already knew this from earlier but again if you don’t read between her lines you could easily find yourself just trying to be something you think she wants.
Which will land you in the friends zone anyways.
The key to her answer is being positive and believing in yourself. It’s not about creating yourself into what you think you wants. That’s not the same.
Being positive can also mean challenging her beliefs against your own and lots of friend zone guys are seriously afraid of doing that.
Believing in yourself is seeing yourself as having value in your world despite HER actions or reactions to what that is.
5. Do you think it’s difficult for beautiful woman to find an exceptional man who completely understands himself and the social world around him?
ANSWER: “Yes! Without a doubt. “
Real mature men are rare.
The law of supply and demand does apply to attraction…
Become a “real man” and you become part of a limited supply with a high demand.
Your price goes up and you, and only you, dictate your price.
YOU become the selector and she becomes YOUR choice. Men that find a way to rise above average in this way will be forever in demand.
This questions also comes down to understanding yourself first and having at least a clue of how the social world works. To women that is part of being an exceptional man.
Before you confuse what is going on here, understanding yourself does not mean turning yourself into some stuck up guy who spends most of his time thinking about himself and then feels he “knows” what everyone else is thinking.
It’s a little about realizing just because a woman is beautiful does not mean it’s easy for her because it’s not. And that thinking alone will give you the edge on being a real man instantly.
6. Which is more rare… A hot woman or a great man?
ANSWER “A great man.”
What I find attractive you might not and vice versa. Therefore a hot woman will always be easier to find than an exceptional man.
You’re typically born physically attractive or appealing in some way but great men become that way through who they are, how they affect the people around them, and how they live their lives.
And that is one reason why it makes them rare or hard to find.
An important thing to take away from this question is that lots of women everywhere find it difficult to find that one guy she believes is rare.
If you make yourself way too available, or if you set your life up to revolve around women – they will find it easy to find you.
So matter how much you might have your shit together if you’re that easy to find how could she possibly see you as one of the great rare men she is searching for.
7. Have you ever felt a strong attraction to a man who wasn’t physically appealing, or in other words, was just average looking but maintained himself meticulously?
ANSWER: “Yes. He doesn’t have to be drop dead gorgeous but I just want to know he cares enough about himself to take care of the little things in his life.”
It’s not about how great looking you are but how you maintain high value in yourself by taking care of the little things and the big things in your life the best you can.
You don’t have to be perfect.
You don’t have to make her feel amazing every second of the day.
You just have to take meticulous care in who you are.
The key to this question is first understanding women are not all about how attractive you are, but what that value in yourself represents to her.
If you don’t care enough about yourself how can she possibly care enough about you.
If you don’t care about yourself how much could you possibly care to take care of your family with her.
She wants to know you won’t hold back from making relationship decisions.
She wants to know you won’t back down during those tough times.
And let’s face it, if you’re too lazy to even bother with caring that much about yourself how could you possibly support a fulfilling and rewarding family or relationship.
8. I would say the best approach a man can do should start like this, would you agree?
- Soft eye contact and let her look away first.
- Give her just a hint of a smile.
- Approach confidently and swiftly.
- Engage her in a conversation don’t just talk to her.
ANSWER: “Definitely. I don’t want to be picked up or tricked into a conversation. I want a real approach from a real man who has something more to say than offering to buy me a drink or tell me how gorgeous he thinks I am.”
There’s no secret to the approach beyond just that. Women want a real approach even if it’s an approach.
They’re not stupid. They know what’s going on. Why bother wasting your time trying to trick them into liking you or giving you their number.
Women also want something more than you just trading something like a drink to spend time with her. She’s not a “drink whore”, She’s a person and you have to admit women love to talk. So don’t make it more complicated than it needs to be.
An important part of this question is “engage her in a conversation.”
They might not all say it but women want to be part of the conversation. They don’t want to be asked a bunch of questions because they won’t trust your sincerity.
They don’t want you to do all the talking or even all the leading.
They want an emotional engagement that may go in places you might not feel comfortable with but they want to know you’re okay with it.
Remember this question the next time you approach any woman because this small piece of advice can easily change your interactions with women.
There you have it…
These 8 questions may not solve all your woman problems overnight but when you see how a woman answers them, and how you interpret them it’s easy to understand what’s going on.