Let's assume you're like me, average in the physical looks department. We're somewhere in the middle.
For those that fall below that line in the middle you may feel cheated, and you also may believe this is a real problem in attracting women.
This also means you believe those of us who are "average" - have a slight advantage over you in choosing and attracting a woman; as we may feel the truly beautiful or good-looking have a clear advantage over us middle men.
Today's post will help to even us all out by using our minds to overcome ANY and ALL feelings of inferiority and attractiveness, which in turn WILL turn us into men who can use our best assets to create attraction - regardless of our physical appearance.
Cultivate a mindset of equality, level the playing field by understanding the problems of the physically attractive.
These laws or rules or tips of attraction must contain some equalization. In order to BE attractive, one must feel and act on the same level (sometimes higher but not necessary) as those being attracted.
One way this can be accomplished is to first acknowledge the other side, or more specifically, those who you deem more attractive, and those believed to have an advantage in life or over you, because you believe they're more physically attractive than you.
(Something lightly covered in this post: Are More Attractive People Actually Better & Happier Than You?)
Today's lesson/tip is intended to level the proverbial playing field, AND to help you see that people are people, whether having certain advantages or being born a certain way, does not grant less problems - the problems faced just change.
The easiest way to do this is to put yourself in their shoes and ask questions related to image, beauty, and the consequences of having them.
How would it make you feel if you knew others only wanted to get close to you because you looked good, and not because you were a kind/decent person?
Trust then become an inherent problem causing many future relationship breakdowns and a reluctance to enter one.
How would it make you feel to be hit on, even by the sleaziest people on
the planet, many times a day no matter where you were or what you were doing?
A constant barrage which makes just living your life, a little more difficult and definitely more time consuming.
How would it make you feel if people took your image for granted, believing
you were special, different, or were given special privileges just because you were attractive?
Suddenly, you might feel the need to defend your skills and abilities. As if you had privileges, therefore you must not be good at what you do or smart enough to get there.
How would you feel if you were constantly pressured to live up to other people's (superficial) expectations?
Superficial expectations can mean anything from always have to look good and be as beautiful everyday, and once those looks fade - you're always reminded of what you used to LOOK like.
How would you feel if some people you didn't even know hated you, just because you appear more attractive than them?
Jealousy and anger is always around the corner from those who pre-judge you, and you'll find yourself acting as if the hate is always there, causing you to feel like you always have to prove yourself more than others deemed less physically privileged.
Those are (generally) not gender specific problems, now let's break into attractive men and women how their experiences vary because of it.
For attractive women...
Where ever you go, no matter how you feel, even if you're visiting your sick Grandma in the hospital who you love so much, guys are always "checking you out."
Someone is always staring at you and you don't know if it's in a good way or a bad way.
The objectification of your body becomes unrelenting.
It's hard to find a guy who doesn't take your looks for granted, and half your boyfriends turn out to be jealous freaks because they can not deal with other guys hitting on you.
If you dress down, leave the house wearing sweatpants and a "hoodie" hiding your face with huge sunglasses because you don't want to not be seen that day, you get dirty looks making you feel like you are only doing it - because you hate being good-looking.
Other despise how you feel your birth rite of being born attractive is a curse, while they would give anything to look like you or have the advantages you were given at birth.
If you go out with your friends just to have a good time, you know without a doubt, you'll have to reject a few guys that night because you're not looking for a boyfriend.
There's no escaping it.
You also know it will either hurt them, they will take it too personal, or think you're a stuck up bitch just because you don't want them.
In other words - you're always in a position to reject others.
It eventually takes a mental and emotional toll on you - making you do or say anything so the guy doesn't take it personal, and it hurts you and them much less that it typically does.
How does it feel knowing some people actually believe you only became successful because you look good and not because you're smart?
People assume you're dumb just because you're attractive. They tell you you
should be a model. You should get naked to earn lots of money. They just can not and will not see you in a real leadership role.
The boss is always hitting on you. Hinting you could get further if you would just sleep with him. Most of the time he's not blatantly obvious which makes it even more creepy.
For good-looking guys...
You're more likely to be labeled a player, especially by women. As if your looks have something to do with how you treat women.
You're always suspected first... until proven otherwise.
You're good-looking, have a great body - therefore you MUST be good with women too? This perceived notion that a man's looks has something to do with his skill only reinforces the depressive attitude they have - for not being skilled in this area.
You're a sexy guy - it's assumed you have it all. You can do whatever you want, whenever you please, and the world of women will bow down to your manliness.
In other words - since it's all given to you, you MUST be bad or a terrible person. The laws don't apply to you and this means you ACT like they don't either.
This assumption can easily have a devastating affect when it's taken as a given that you must be guilty first, until proven innocent.
YES - it's true, you just might lose or not get a promotion or ahead in your job IF, the boss is less attractive than you and feels threatened by your looks.
Another problem of an attractive man in the work place (when he's dressed well/impeccably groomed) is those higher than him, can easily overlook him as a candidate because he may be assumed to be narcissistic, or too into his looks to focus on the job at hand.
With regards to that last one and the attractive man related to women - they can easily feel the same way mixed with many other associated prejudices and problems such as:
- A good-looking guy will have more opportunities to cheat.
- He is presumed to more likely be narcissistic.
- She will always feel like she has to dress up to him or else she may feel below-average or ugly in comparison.
- She might feel like she always has to defend her relationship with him from the constant barrage of women trying to compete with her for him.
Lastly - Lots of women are more intimidated by a handsome man, therefore making it much more difficult to connect with them through conversations, you become less approachable, more secluded because of it, and find even if you do all the work - a woman who feels inferior (looks wise) may never feel deserving of you.
This concludes the attractive male and female comparisons.
Let's go back and reiterate why this post was written and why it's important to go through exercises like this to become a more attractive person/man.
When one feels intimidated or less-attractive than those they seek to attract, and at the same time feel attractive people are granted certain advantages, they often feel inferior.
This rule or law - physically attractive men and women have their own set of problems (no more or less than you) which proves their advantages (as pointed out here) are not exactly what they appear to be and when looked at from this perspective is an attempt to level the "proverbial" playing field for those who feel less attractive and therefore avoid trying with too many.
One should never settle for another "just because" one feels less attractive than another.
Granted - one should not use beauty alone as a sticking point, but settling must NEVER be an option either.
Full point being:
Don't let the physically attractive people make you believe you're not good enough for them.
Don't let their appearance make you believe they're free from problems and because of that, they would never want to be with you.
Beauty has advantages and disadvantages too.
Each of us has our own set of obstacles to overcome in life and each of us go through life void of perfections.
One big step in becoming a more naturally attractive man is LEARNING and UNDERSTANDING the so-called other side, which in our world is EVERYONE who lives outside the mind we exist and live through everyday.
This is a SKILL, when learned and used properly makes ANYONE an attractive person for reasons we'll get into later in these laws of attraction.
Interesting and related posts to today's topic:
- Is It Possible To Never Let An Attractive Woman Affect Your Actions?
- Are More Attractive People Actually Better & Happier Than You?
- Why Do Some Chics Think Because She’s Hot, Guys Only Want Sex From Her
- So What! She’s Attractive, Does That Mean She’s Better Than You?
- Are Women A Problem For You Because You Think You’re An Ugly Guy?
- Never Let Her Looks Affect Your Actions & Stop Giving Away Your Respect