Quiet is something a little different and not necessarily an attractive trait unless it’s done right. A quiet guy can be the creepy wallflower dude who just stares at women and never talks to them OR he can easily be the Alpha Male who interacts with everyone but holds backs just enough to make them all wonder. Thus creating attraction.
WHY and HOW are these quiet mysterious men so well liked and sought out by all sorts and types of women?
What is it about him that girls seem to become easily and sometime overly attracted to him?
The answers are below my friend. This secret will NOT be a “mystery” anymore… introducing:
7 Reasons Why Women Like Quiet and Mysterious Men
#1: He is the ultimate challenge… Physically, Mentally, and Emotionally.
When a woman picks up a mystery novel or watches a show which combines mystery and excitement, it’s easy to see how she gets hook on it.
What is harder to see (or perhaps not thought about) is the very real challenge to not just skip to the end because that will destroy the excitement instantly.
The same goes for men and the ones she likes the most.
If he holds back physically but still shows a little interest – it makes her wonder. It sets up a real challenge. It’s thrilling and exciting at the same time.
If he is a little mentally coy – flirts casually, hold backs some information, won’t give her a clear direct answer sometimes, he challenges her mentally to get it out of him. When done the right way – it can be a lot of fun to her thus driving up her attraction.
If he is emotionally solid and not much gets to him. He barely sweats when things get tough. On top of that doesn’t share his feelings very often – This challenges her in many ways too.
First, she can’t help but to wonder what’s going on inside his head – more mystery – it entices her to get things out of him which he won’t share with another woman. Triggering her competitive drive.
Second – it shows strength beyond what she might feel comfortable about in herself. Meaning he appears stronger than her.
Third – it proves to her without a doubt he is in complete control and can handle adversity sometimes again, better than her.
One of the most attractive features of this challenge is the added pressure (with sometimes frustrated outbursts by her) by the mere fact he’s not a book, or show – she can NOT just look or peak to the ending. Although part of her really wants to, the other part (her female nature) is enjoying it way too much. No matter how badly she wants to know, the thrill and excitement outweighs everything else.
It’s entirely way too easy for a woman to get literally obsessed over a guy who challenges her on all three of these levels. If things don’t progress and the challenge remains along with the mystery, the quietness, and the excitement, she could go years thinking and over-thinking about it without even ever having been with guy.
(Trust me I get literally thousands of searches a day from women who just can not figure a guy out – because he is silent, went quiet, gave her a little and then disappeared, and more. The numbers are staggering.)
This first one is perhaps the biggest reason of all.
Keep in mind the next six are just sort-of off shoots of this one. The reason we’re going deeper into them is to show HOW to be this guy and to fully explain why it works so you’ll never have to ask or research this question again.
Here’s where I show you HOW to be the ultimate challenge to women:
“People (men AND women), respond to a real challenge in two ways: They either give up (while sometimes trying and failing or by not trying at all ) OR they get EXCITED by it and rise up to the challenge.”
The next reason is my favorite because of the words are a mystery themselves.
#2: Un-predictable predictive actions.
Huh??? What does that freaking mean?
Think about it. When you know something or someone is a mystery, the actions may not be predictable, but the person, in a strange way is totally predictable.
She knows he’s going to be a challenge. She can predict that therefore this engages or triggers her to want to know or get more from him.
What she can not predict is how, when, or what she can get out of him. That’s the mysterious part.
She can not predict his actions and that alone makes her want to know even more. When there becomes an emotional attachment to him or figuring him out, her attraction becomes deeper and more influential in her life.
There’s another element to this one.
Predictive behavior by a man can also be considered “reliable” which generally shows a woman that a guy is a “relationship” type of guy. She’ll know that quickly based on his actions.
Less predictive behavior like not calling too often, not always showing up, a little unreliable, a little wild and untamed are traits of a man who might not be a relationship ready. This guy then challenges her to capture him. He becomes the one no one can get or have. She might find herself chasing him blindly, waiting patiently, or so frustrated it drives her crazy. Either way it sets up an enormous amount of attraction which can only build.
This type of behavior and how attractive it can be, is easier to see in a guy who doesn’t do it. His predictable pattern becomes boring and is anything but engaging or exciting. He hands everything over to her and hopes she’ll like him.
The way to solve this problem and become more mysterious requires a delicate blend and balance of risk and reward. Indirect and direct answers. Giving lots of mixed signals. It’s a tough balance to achieve so you shouldn’t try it without the right guidance.
“Never give a woman a direct answer… unless the answer is no. (…) Never give a woman exactly what she wants. (…) Always send mixed signals.”
*Taken directly from Advanced Dating Techniques workbook page 57. Affiliated link. Expensive program but one I’ve gone through myself.
Here’s a few articles to show you how to be less predictable and sad as it sounds… boring:
One of the biggest mistakes men make to blow it with a woman is being completely boring and predictable. And that instantly kills the two things that all women are desperately searching for in longer- term relationships:
- EXCITEMENT here and now.
- ANTICIPATION of a FUN FUTURE. Deliver them both, and you’re GOLDEN.
So mix things up and keep her guessing. Don’t always call when you say you will. Go here instead of there. Do this instead of that.
- Do Women Think You’re Too Predictable? How To Change Her Mind
- My Secret To Not Boring Women And Communicating Excitement
#3: Emotional and conversational control.
A man who displays total control over his emotions is less likely to get angry or do things which clearly shows his mood. This type of control leaves others (including women) to wonder (sometimes in awe and sometimes ironically) what is going on inside his head.
Less emotional ups and downs equals more mystery.
A man who is less inclined to speak just because he can, or knows the answer, or needs to be heard, or feels he must get his point across not only appears less needy, but with the lack of talking can appear very quiet.
Less talking, less needy traits, more quietness… more attractive to others who tend to wait for him to say something – because it MUST be important.
Just like “Silent Bob”- EVERYONE listens to exactly what he says in his movies and takes it all in because he says so little – when he does finally say something, it has to important, right?
Being quiet and mysterious in this case or reason does more than just get girls because it sets up a person as being less needy and more in control which is strength in a mature way. A combination which is unbeatable for creating loads of attraction.
On top of all the it’s a sure sign of REAL confidence which women understand can never be faked.
“A confident “real man” also doesn’t obsess about what other people think or do. He doesn’t take it as an insult if someone doesn’t like him, or disagrees with him. Above all, he isn’t needy, clingy, and always trying to be the center of attention (…) coming across as “put together” means communicating confidence about who you are on the INSIDE.”
Women almost always want or are at least find themselves attracted men who have the ability of control. It’s an unbeatable means of determining who can handle “her” emotional states. If we’re to agree women can be emotional at times, then this trait certainly proves its worth.
It’s a way of knowing without a doubt when things go wrong – he’s not going to freak out and make it worse.
Stable women look for stable men with a belief that her emotional highs and lows will not bend or break him. He can HANDLE himself enough so she’s less afraid to let it out in front of him.
If we can control our emotions to a certain point it creates more mystery because this is NOT a trait which is handed to us at birth. We learn it. We deal with it. We strive for it. Sometimes, depending on how we live or earn a living… train for it.
More mystery is created when she finds herself wondering HOW we got it and what we experienced or did to achieve it. The attractive mystery becomes HOW we do it. WHAT we’ve been through in our lives to make it happen. WHAT it’s going to mean in bed. Yes, unwavering control will always transfer to a better more satisfying sexual experience and of course… HOW it transfers to a future relationship.
And fortunately or not… she’ll question her ability to take us out of that moment and show the deepest passion for her. More questions she has or wonders about… more mystery.
More mystery… deeper attraction.
Here’s some great help on becoming less needy: The Real Cure For Neediness, Clinginess And Manipulation.
Get a little more control over your life: Clean & Control Your Life Effortlessly & Women Will Want To Be In It.
Conversational control and inner game control are a bit more difficult to achieve and require some extra work – it’s some pretty serious work but the benefits will help you in every aspect of your life not reserved just to being a mystery and attracting women.
Still interested? Good because it’s worth it. Been there and done it myself:
For those of you who prefer David DeAngelo, there’s:
DEEP INNER GAME. “Annihilate Your Crippling Insecurity, Anxiety And Fear To Transform Into The Powerful, Confident, Attractive Man All Women Want”
For those of you who prefer Carlos Xuma try:
ULTIMATE INNER GAME. “New Technologies of Psychology Show You How to Conquer Shyness, Get Rid of Your Nervousness, Fears, and Anxieties With Women. The Secrets to Build BULLETPROOF Self-Confidence & Emotional Self-Control.”
Either way – you’re good to go.
This leads us to the next reason why women like a quiet and mysterious guy…
#4: A real man of mystery and quiet demeanor never brag, boast, of show off.
You never hear James Bond talk about how good he is or what he just did to save the world. He accepts what he does humbly.
Of course no one is asking you to be a secret agent but you must admit, that character, real or not, has the label SECRET attached to it. Which of course means not talking about his job or life to others, keeping lots of secrets, never bragging about his job, never showing off because it would mean certain death.
A quiet man of mystery creates the same aura about him which naturally draws women in. He also displays more of that control and confidence and less needy tendencies shown in reason 3.
Aside from that – no woman wants you to tell them how “special” you “think you are. They want to figure you out in their own way. They ENJOY the challenge of getting the information out of you and they enjoy it more when you’re not blindingly handing over everything because you think that’s the only way she would like you anyways.
They also understand when and if you DO share, it’s a clear indication you trust her which in turn amplifies the attraction and makes her feel good about herself and her ability to attract YOU.
Number four also hints at indifference which is a classic attraction trigger. It makes it seem like you don’t care about other people see you because you’re not bragging about the “better” things you do.
Take a guy who gives money and time to a charity and doesn’t tell anyone. Yes, he’s considered a great guy and it might get him some women, but holding back that information or casually displacing it when it’s brought up is far more attractive.
He’s not using any means to make himself look better in the eyes of everyone. AND THAT IS A VERY ATTRACTIVE THING.
Humbleness and confidence with a touch of indifference is a magical mixtures of quietness and mystery not many women can or will ever resist.
You’ve been given a little help on this one already but you might not know what indifference is and how it’s supposed to work. Here’s a write up from The Nice Guy Approach about it:
“YES, indifference is an attractive trait. Good girls and bad girls are generally attracted to guys who don’t seem to give a shit BUT… just showing you don’t care is not why it’s attractive.
It’s attractive for several reasons and one is because it shows women that you don’t care what others think of you.”
Here’s my main “best” page on confidence: What is Confidence Really All About?
If all else fails with regards to wanting to talk about your accomplishments or show off yourself – again GET some inner game help.
If that’s sill not enough you could always try what the guy did in “The Forty Year Old Virgin” – just ask questions and speak as little as possible.
Next please and thank you…
#5: His life does not appear to revolve around women.
Women are rarely attracted to men whose life revolves around every hot female he sees or comes in contact with on a daily basis. They actually despise that shit coming from a guy.
Take a guy who has a real rewarding life outside of women and he becomes a true mystery. It’s like he’s not even trying to get laid… but it happens, doesn’t it?
He’s okay being single. He’s perfectly happy with who he is. He follows his passions and his goals regardless of whether it’s going to land him a wife or girlfriend.
“If you’re not feeling capable and comfortable with being single and getting your needs for affection/sex/accompaniment met, you’ll tend to let one of these women corral you into the belief that you must be serially monogamous – that you can date only one woman at a time, and ONLY get sex by jumping through her hoops.”
He doesn’t treat women like objects or trophies. They are not the means to an end. They’re their or allowed in to share with each other. Women are generally the LAST thing his life revolves around.
This creates a natural indifference and a real life attitude which again is a powerful combination in creating attraction.
Now you may be asking what does this have to do with a quiet and mysterious guy (since we already know where the attraction comes from in this reason) and you’ve made a good point because honestly, I struggled with this one myself when the words came out.
The answer is simple:
Look around at most guys you see who may or may not have a girlfriend or wife. Think about how many of them are truly exceptionally when it comes to women. Consider how many of them are just plain whipped guys who got lucky and kiss their partners ass just to keep them appeased and generally happy.
They are EVERYWHERE. Those types of guys outnumber the other type 9 to 1 or maybe even more.
So… just by being a man whose life is not revolving around women and everything related to getting laid or seeing naked chics… and you become very rare. A great “find” as a woman might say.
Something else also happens. You’re this guy who doesn’t seem to have any problems meeting women or attracting them, and yet you’re still making sure you don’t commit or settle for just any woman. You want her to be a one in a lifetime girl.
That’s the real mystery here.
A woman thinks you’re mysterious because you’re so unlike any other guy she’s ever met – she’s wondering, she’s thinking, she’s contemplating – who they hell are you? Where did you come from? How come you’re not like the other guys she’s met and did nothing for her?
Add to that what we’ve already covered in this article and you have the means of getting practically any single woman to FEEL attracted to you.
Powerful stuff! Truly POWERFUL.
Here’s a little inspiration to help you attract women by following your passions. They’re not perfect but hopefully will help you achieve this reason of attractive mystery a little easier.
- Do You Love Doing It? Attracting With Your Passions and Desires
- Creating Attraction With Passion and Giving to Something Greater
- 3 Critical Steps To Finding Your “Dream Woman”
- Develop A Social Life, Get Involved, Something Back Women Do Want
- Living Your Own Life Attractive Move a Nice Guy Can Make for Himself
#6: He does the right thing at the right time regardless of the outcome.
“Righteousness is defined as “the quality of being morally correct and justifiable.”
First we must think about the connection here. Is a quiet and mysterious guy more likely to do the right thing regardless of the outcome? Is he actually more righteous than a, okay, loud and blatant man?
But hear me out.
This is about appearances. What it looks like to others. How their perspective of the shy quiet guy is built on many assumptions and a lack of real knowledge of the person.
He MUST be hiding something. It’s probably one of those sad stories where he gave up his dreams because he had to even though it was a devastating experience.
Often our prejudice views of other people come from stories. It could be a movie, a novel, a friends description, a parents distorted view of the world, even so much as a song.
Yes, this is a form of prejudice no matter how you look at it.
Take a quiet guy who, and this is VERY important, displays many of things listed here today (without many of them he will only appear creepy or as a stalker) – this mystery he creates around him often causes women to think about the what ifs of his life and what made him so quiet.
They will blend what they’ve experienced, read, were told, and create a back story which can and will make him appear more attractive – and he didn’t even say a word to him.
It appeals to her “need to know” desires or a strange need to explain something she doesn’t fully understand in any way fashionable. Often leading to a mild attraction to the man she projects on to.
He doesn’t ever have to do the right thing. He could’ve lived any kind of life which had little to do with selfless acts or righteousness BUT it doesn’t matter… because just the mere possibility of “it could be” is enough to have a woman fall for a guy she has never even talked to before.
Hence the quiet guy probably not so mysterious guy capturing the heart of a girl.
A little far-fetched. Maybe.
But prejudice is a REAL thing and not all of our prejudgments have to be negative.
You might assume a rich actor has a great life because he’s famous and rich but it doesn’t have to be true. Yet it’s enough to attract a lot of women who want the lifestyle they believe he’s living.
That assumption “aura” or “halo” or whatever you like to call it is a very real thing and a certain definitive element of attraction AND a quiet mysterious guy can be prejudged to have it just the same as the actor mentioned above.
There’s not much help to offer on this one. Sure you could create a fake halo around you, there are plenty of bullshit books out there to show you how to fool a woman into thinking you’re someone you’re not – but it’s not advisable and really doesn’t fit well here.
However, you’re probably already doing the right things anyways. You’re a great guy and if you’ve follow along today, women are going to take notice to you. So it’s all good!
“Okay, yes I know that picture is a little risky BUT this post is about attracting women and I felt we needed to be given a real sexy image about now. Seeing how there are too many dude pics on this post.”
#7: His “existence” in her world is the answer to a riddle, a puzzle or an exciting mystery novel.
You don’t go straight to the end of a great book. You read every page with excitement letting the end develop as you go along. You let the story take you away. Every last detail and word creates an image in your head which is far more imaginative than any movie could ever create.
Our minds are very good at getting swept up in a moment IF we allow it to happen.
This happens to woman when they encounter, see, or interact with a guy who appears to be mysterious. He becomes a possible perfect ending to whatever she desires and maybe has yet to achieve in her life.
The mere possibilities of the unknown are captivating and begin to draw her attention in a way she might not even begin to explain. It’s an unfinished story just waiting to be played out and told.
As it’s once said, we all have a story to tell and we are the star of that story. It’s quite possible a woman’s story contains a man she has not met yet no different from a guy whose story includes a woman.
The unknown is fantastic and scary at the same time. It’s risky. Dangers may lurk hidden somewhere but that makes it even more exciting to her.
A woman who has yet to write her full story but has dreamed or hoped what it could be, is highly susceptible to a mystery man who could bring it all into fruition. Those hopes, dreams, and imagined futures are so emotionally attached to her they are very hard to separate thus explaining some obsessions over some men.
Couple that with the mere risk and danger of the unknown causing even more heightened emotions and it becomes a story that MUST be written from beginning to end.
A quiet mysterious can easily fit into everything she wants written thus becoming her great story of life.
Yes, I know. Kind of deep. But you know what, when it comes to woman and the fantasies inside their head, their dreams, their cautiousness of danger and the risks involved, the excitement of the unknown, number 7 fits perfectly here and is a great reason why women undoubtedly like a quiet and mysterious man.
That about covers it all today. Hope I didn’t miss anything and it was everything you hoped it would be. If I did miss something, you’re more than welcome and encouraged to voice your personal opinions or view below.
The quiet mysterious should not be taken lightly when it comes to creating enormous amounts of attraction. He has proven himself in the eyes of woman for longer than you and I have been alive and will continue to draw women into his world of quiet mystery.
*Don’t forget to sign up below for more great stuff and if you really liked it – pass it on. Thanks for everything – Peter White.