Once in a while a guy will come to me for advice about attracting a certain woman because for some reason he might not feel “attractive” enough.
Like he has to do something different this time because he’d rather not screw it up.
Inside his mind I imagine he’s focused on his weaker parts because it’s something we’re all guilty of but for some reason…
I look at him and see his potential to become a highly attractive man.
Sure his “easier” weaknesses stand out or the ones I can change immediately but overall I’ve realized…
We ALL have the potential to become naturally more attractive – if we set out to work on or develop the seven main areas listed below.
Seven Core Traits of the Naturally Attractive Man:
- Social Skills and Communication
- Physical Characteristics
There may not be a way to separate one from the other which is actually a good thing.
Since part of our personality comes from confidence and character – building on them will naturally enhance our personality.
Communicating our personality then requires social skills and the right communication.
This is a good because, although it may seem those seven traits may seem tough to do – working on just one trait increases the others at the same time.
On our quest to become more attractive men we must never forget that.
We must remember to spread our focus out to build a well-rounded balanced person who is capable in ALL those areas.
Capable – not perfect.
Competent – not overly accomplished.
That is all women want and need to feel attracted to us.
Since these areas are very broad and can take some time to develop for ourselves, and each of us has very specific ones which we need more help through, I’m going to turn to the best to help us all out…
Personality – An interesting, fun, original person to be around.
The best explanation of personality I’ve found comes from Carlos Xuma.
He’s found a way to break it down the most important parts and was smart enough to relate it to women for us.
What makes up “personality“?
- Mystery – The self-control to keep certain secrets and avoid telling her everything about you.
- Humor – Make her laugh
- Confidence– The willingness to be independent and not needy of a woman
- Originality – Thinking different than the crowd
- Excitement and Positivity – The great attitude and energy of a person with a purpose
- Hobbies and interests – OTHER than women. This is what it means to “get a life.“
- Conversational Ability – The ability to communicate with women on a level they can understand and get excited about
There are other, subtler traits that could be talked about in boring detail, but these are the important aspects of projecting a winning personality to women.”
Carlos breaks it down nicely but I feel if you want to work on developing this attractive trait, there’s no better guy to teach you than a guy whose personality really comes across in all those areas.
Just by listening to this guy more he’s bound to rub off on you in a good way.
Here’s something David Wygant wrote which has inspired me….
“By creating an amazing lifestyle and being passionate about the things you do, you will start attracting women instead of spending your life chasing them and hoping you’ll connect with them.
Women (and everyone in fact) are attracted to fun, positive, interesting and well-rounded individuals.
If you’re miserable or doing things that you don’t enjoy, you are not going to meet women no matter what system or “method” you use to do it. Makes sense, right?
Character – The whole of who you are, your belief system and your ability to stand up for those beliefs.
Your character has a clear moral compass and although can be considered fluid and not rigid, always represents high self-value and in turn naturally attracts respect from people, including women.
I’ve concluded that if where ever we go, people are more likely to respect you, then women WILL notice and mark you as having a certain power they will without a doubt feel attracted to.
And part of that comes from your character.
One of the best guys out there whose “character development” areas go above and beyond just an explanation is Scot McKay.
ALL of his “teachings” include this ever important piece of becoming an attractive man.
Here’s something from Scot I learned,
This is one of the most misunderstood terms in the English language.
Don’t kid yourself. “Character” is not to be confused with “being a character”. Simply putting away routines and openers does NOT equal “character-based” seduction like some “natural game” proponents would have you believe.
“Character” is rock-solid stability at your very core.
It’s doing what’s right simply because it’s the right thing to do, not because of “what’s in it for you”. A man of character promises only what he is capable of delivering, and often delivers more than he promises out of sheer over achievement.
He does what he says he is going to do, and avoids deception. He is all about building others up rather than tearing them down in a weak attempt to make himself appear “better”.
The man of character realizes that’s neither ethical nor effective, even.
Mostly, the man of character has his identity figured out and his conscience is okay with that.
And when that’s all set, you’ll NEVER, EVER have to ask “What do I do next?” “Character” is “seductive” by definition.
Confidence – Cool, calm, and amazingly comfortable with the two items listed above.
Confidence in who are, where you are going, how you are going to get there, and confident in your ability to have fun while doing it.
That’s where your personality comes in.
I feel if you’re not having fun or enjoying life it will always come out in your personality.
The guy who gave me the biggest confidence boost in my life and my relationships with women was someone who didn’t set out to teach me about it – but through his help is where the confidence came from.
Since our confidence builds and comes through our experiences there may not be a direct way achieving this very attractive trait.
Here’s a definition and a path to gain those experiences from the guy who accidentally showed me how to be more confident, David DeAngelo.
I’ve said it a bazillion times… great women don’t see a man as potential “relationship material” based on his looks, money, or cheesy pick-up lines.
When it comes to figuring out if a particular guy might be “Mr. Right,” the first thing most women look for are sure signs of CONFIDENCE.
More specifically, the 4 unmistakable, magnetic signals that confident men send a woman the moment they meet her.
- An “Easy-Going” Attitude
- He’s “Put Together”
- He’s Humble
- He Has A Sense of Humor
Strength – Only the strongest excel in life or in the parts of their lives they wish to change.
Strength is NOT power.
Strength is having the fortitude to stay the path regardless of the outcome or the hardships along the way.
You have a strong personality when you are able assimilate the good parts of the people you meet into the whole of you without changing the core of yourself.
You do not have a strong personality just because you can resist another persons will onto you.
Strong confidence comes from your ability to recover quickly from any setbacks.
Strong character comes from a man who maintains a consistent strong personality and backs it up with seemingly unwavering confidence and then develops competence in many areas of his life.
Strength is also your ability to reject maturely and responsibly.
I want to go back to Scot McKay here because I believe he connects our strength to our masculinity in a way which can be very attractive.
Here are six measures of TRUE MASCULINITY, as adored by women everywhere.
Notice “adored” starts with an “A”. I’ve made it so every point below starts with an “A” also. Call this lesson “How To Get Straight As In Masculinity”. Ready? Here we go:
- Assist With Strength
- Assert With Strength
- Attend With Strength
- Align With Strength
- Assume With Strength
- Anticipate With Strength
Social Skills – How or the way we communicate ourselves to others.
If you can not communicate socially many of the items listed above won’t help you.
It’s not always what you say but how you present yourself.
It’s how you hold yourself around others.
It’s how your body language backs up who you are and allows others to follow your lead.
Your social skills will be defined or measured by how well you convey your personality.
Your social life may be in part determined by how others perceive your character.
How much others are inspired by you and your confidence.
If those around you or the people you touch stand by your strength your social life becomes endlessly rewarding AND attractive.
This will also help them or make it unavoidable to respect your belief in your self-worth.
There are two masters in helping you develop an attractive social life and lots of their advice stretches beyond just your relationships with women because this area, like the others, affect your life successes in every area of your existence.
Here’s a remarkable quote from Carlos which puts “social skills” at the important level it deserves. The Power Of Social Skills – Eliminate Shyness.
The fact is that playing social games is NORMAL.
Not only is this normal…
It’s absolutely NECESSARY.
If I were to just walk up to you on the street and say: “Hi, I’m Carlos. I’m a man of my word, and I’m very trustable. I’d like to be a very close friend of yours, starting right now.”
After you stopped looking at me like I’d just escaped from the local insane asylum, you’d probably say, “Yeah, whatever.” And then you’d walk away.
Well, if that’s not the way that we become good friends with another person, how DO we do it?
Well, we usually go through a process. This is called the “friendship” model of how we allow ourselves to get closer to someone. And it has 4 important steps.
Sexuality – The ability to seduce women in many ways through your sexual energy.
All attractive men possess this trait and use it remarkably well along side the other traits.
This is where your ability to seduce or invoke strong sexual emotions from lots of different people will allow you to step through to the relationship you desire.
You can succeed in all the areas above but without the knowledge to “turn on” a woman and naturally progress through the stages of “courtship,” you’re only going to end up with incredible friends.
Which is not a bad thing but I know for a fact, you want more.
Below I’ve listed some important “make sures” which are related to the traits above to assure our sexual edge comes across.
Make sure you have a sexual edge to your personality.
Make sure your character stays within the legal/ethical bounds of your sexual advancements but also make sure your character does not fear arousing others because you’re afraid they will reject you or see you as something you are not…
You have NO control over that.
Make sure you do in fact have confidence in your sexual abilities throughout the entire area of making love.
Even if it’s the simple skill of touch. If you’re not good at it, learn it, practice it, and always use the confidence you acquire from it to energize the women you get close to.
Make sure the strength of your sexuality is not something to be ashamed of.
This includes fantasies and the belief that sex is a natural thing which rewards emotionally and physically the people involved in doing it.
The strength of your sexuality will also include not taking personal rejections as a measurement of who you are.
Make sure your social skills do include the ability to flirt and create comfortable sexual conversations which show you’re not afraid of how other’s see you.
Your social skills is not about hiding yourself. It’s about communication and conveyance and in this area – your sexuality – allow it to be communicated competently without shame.
This is how your sexuality may come across and land you somewhere on the edge of attraction but not immersed in it. Watch out these…
If women see you as being a great friend to have around then your social skills are lacking in the communication area of being a sexual man who enjoys the total package of all females.
If women see you as a player or too sexual you’re conveying to them only superficial acts to gain their trust.
Sexually speaking your social skills are lacking any real connection to her emotional state through conveyance.
So it’s not necessarily your ability to communicate but that the message is being lost along the way.
This often happens when she has issues in that area or you’re just getting the hang of being a sexual person.
I’m going to be real with you here – sexual deprivation is an attraction killer when not channeled properly and I’ve found it’s easier and more beneficial to living a happy life to not let it happen rather than attempt to channel all the pent-up energy.
Too many men fail and the set-backs never stop coming from not developing a sexual edge and removing the deprivation.
With that in mind I suggest you read a step from my Getting A Hot Girlfriend series titled: Why And How You Might Have To “Go Get Laid” to Get A Girlfriend
You’ll find a different kind of explanation there but lots of resources to help you out.
Choose the right one and you’ll be well on your way in developing this very important attractive trait.
Physical Characteristics – How you appear and how you choose to present yourself.
This one is last for a very good reason.
There are many areas of our physical appearance which are beyond our direct control AND ( disregarding certain generalizations ) women ( based on my personal experiences ) will often look past many of our physical not-perfections.
Sure the typical looks do work.
There are many ways to define scientifically the physicality attractive man to the last detail but if we get too caught up in them they will actually down play the more important deeper areas of attraction.
In this area – AVERAGE is good because it doesn’t create false images of the other traits making it easier for us to create lots of natural attraction.
The best looking guys in the world may spend way too much energy trying to prove their more than a nice superficial guy to look at.
How we present ourselves is very important because one – it gets us past the “first impression” stage easier and two, because it represents how we value ourselves, the life we lead, and done with a hint of indifference makes this a very attractive trait.
SO it’s not HOW we look entirely but how we present our look regardless of the scientifically proven attractive physical characteristics.
Once again – since there’s much more information here to develop this trait – I’m going to suggest you read a page from my “Girlfriend Steps” titled: Refine Your Look, Style – How To Take Care Of The Details Women Notice
The seven traits of the highly attractive man are clearly defined above but…
It’s up to our discretion to find the areas we need the most help in and go to work on them first.
We’re all a little different.
We all have weaknesses and strengths in every one of those traits.
We can accomplish this goal by, as stated above, a lot easier than it may seem because they are ALL connected.
And best of all… and I firmly believe this…
We ALL have the potential to become naturally more attractive men!
All the main players listed here today can be found at DiaLteG TM by following the links above but I encourage to visit their main “homes” respectively too… Carlos Xuma, David Wygant, David DeAngelo, and Scot McKay