"Hey Peter – you hit the nail on the head. How many hundreds of times have I seen an attractive woman and thought, “hey you’re stunning. Absolutely beautiful.. Too bad you wouldn’t like me because I’m not good enough for you.”
It’s got nothing to do with my looks – it’s how I feel and have always felt about myself, no matter how many goals I attain/exceed in any area of my life.
I look at her and then see some other guy (irrespective of who he might be) and automatically think she might be interested in / attracted to him, but not to me.
I cannot seem to shake the sense that every other guy has a chance with women because he is incomparably more attractive than me no matter what.
If you’re saying – and I agree that – the advice to ‘fake it until you make it’ is snake oil, what can I do?
I honestly don’t see anything about me that measures up – or even that makes it worthwhile to try."
Hey Marshall, thanks for sharing your story and I hear you.
This never helps most but I've been there myself, only slightly different because I've always been a stubborn prick with a strange sense of optimism. I believe THAT is partly to blame which kept me pushing forward even in my darkest times.
Yes - I do believe "faking it until you make it" is not the solution. It can be slightly helpful at times but if the root of the issue or problem is not addressed, eventually it all comes crashing down and leaves you feeling worse off than before.
You can only fake your way through life so much and since you don't believe IT yourself - others will eventually (or never) believe it too.
BUT enough of that...
What you need to do is IMMEDIATELY take stock in who you are and what you DO have and stop thinking about what you don't have to offer to women.
First off - you're a MAN, right. Then BOOM - that's the biggest thing. It's not (kind of) what straight women want, it's what they're physically and emotionally attracted to... period!
So don't tell me you've got "nothing" going on man.
REAL women do NOT care what you have to offer them - in fact it's that ATTITUDE which invariable turns them off.
It's not what you can give them - it's HOW you make them FEEL inside and that my friend is ALL that matters.
When I started on my "attractive" journey I put everything I had into it and wound up broke and in a ton of debt. Sure I still had some money coming in and had means to get around but that was all. However what I did have was an amazing family and some real great friends. Those things I would never sacrifice.
My point is: At a time when it looked like I had the least to offer is when I EXCELLED in the attracting women area because I had learned how to make them FEEL something.
And believe me they were not into me because they wanted to help me or I was the sad sorry bad boy case - these were FAR from women trying to change me. Based on my choices and selections, most just wanted to hang out and fuck or both.
So... if you must, if it makes you feel better inside about YOURSELF and not hoping those qualities will get you a girlfriend...
Start writing down your best qualities. List them all.
It could be anything from you're a great dog groomer to loving your Mother. It doesn't matter WHAT it is because you won't be using them to land a beautiful woman anyways.
Start writing down where you are in your life and where you want to be tomorrow, the next day, and a few years down the road.
Learn ALL you can about WHO you are, WHERE you're going and WHAT you want out of life for YOURSELF.
Once you've done that STUDY and I mean memorize EVERY word in my book:
It will help you see what a woman needs to feel and how it's done in a way which has little to nothing to do with what you "think" you have to offer them.
You're taking stock above to start working on yourself and looking at yourself in a more positive way.
You're learning about attraction because that is what you must be focused on when interacting with women.
My book will only get you so far because what the foundation I know on attraction is copyrighted and built off of that so make sure you do the FIRST thing I did over ten years ago. (And no it wasn't what put me in debt - Hahaha!!! I actually over-extended my social life and luckily for me, when I ran out - those great people took very GOOD care of me.)
Here's your lesson on attraction which will show EXACTLY how to trigger it in women which has NOTHING to do with your looks or what you have to offer:
As a bonus you'll get, "How to Change Yourself" which based on what you wrote, will help you a ton.
Marshall - creating attraction is a SKILL and not a TRAIT - which means you CAN LEARN IT - which means - you can CREATE IT also.
You have absolutely NOTHING to lose here and EVERYTHING to gain so yes...
ALL of my advice today is worth trying because you'll quickly see yourself moving FORWARD instead of feeling STUCK which is a great feeling to pass on to women. Notice I said feeling and not quality.
Once you're closer to finding yourself - realizing you're a man and YOU like lots of things about yourself....
Once you've understood and are consistently practicing the skill of creating attraction...
The ONLY thing left is to:
Set up your life so you're naturally meeting women who align with your beliefs and you.
Start COMMUNICATING your new optimistic self to those women in an attractive way of course.
Let them know YOU'RE a MAN and they'll happily want to be a WOMAN around you and even with you.
You have some self-esteem and confidence issues which trust me are easily overcome and will be accordingly as you keep moving forward.
Those "other" guys are not your competition so start believing in yourself and do anything and everything to make sure that happens for real.
And the rest will fall easily into place for you and this will ALL be in your past.
Just like it did for me.
IF and ONLY if you need some serious inner game work - don't hesitate and GET IT:
I say IF under the circumstance as to which you feel like you're failing in many parts of your life up to and including women. If you've got a good handle on that stuff - you won't probably need it so don't bother.
For the COMPLETE life changing package THIS works best:
I can see your point that no matter how many goals you've achieved outside of women how it hasn't helped you - and that because that is about YOU and not women AND it's clearly proof that women are not looking for that in a guy.
They're looking for something intangible - A FEELING and that is something you can create in a woman - ANY woman you desire.
It's just a skill and unlike so many high-end mastery skills - it's quite easily learned once you understand how and it works.
Measure up to yourself - do the best with what you you've got BUT do it for yourself and not for women. It WILL make you feel better and more confidence and will help to boot your self-esteem.
If you have any other problems - just let me know about it and I'll see how I can keep you on track and moving forward and soon enough - this will all be in your past.
My goal here at DiaLteG TM is to NOT have guys keep coming back because that tells me they're either not learning anything or aren't willing to do the work involved.
So let's get you to a point where this web site is not in your bookmarks anymore.
Cool - talk soon and once again - thanks for sharing your story. I appreciate and so will every other guy who feels the same way as you do and is in the same place.
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- All the programs listed above were developed and produced by David DeAngelo. That's his page here at DiaLteG TM.
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- Comment from reader was posted on this page: 10 Easy Ways You Can Stop Disqualifying Yourself to Women & Attract Her.
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- How The Average Guy Can Begin To Understand What Women Really Want
- How To Create Attraction In 4 Minutes By Watching Ghostbusters
- How Trust And The Belief In Yourself Can Make You A More Attractive Guy
- Stop Giving Women What They Say They Want, Make Them Feel Something Instead
- Are These Myths About Women Standing Between You And Dating Success?