Hi Peter, I met a fella online we communicated for 3 months before meeting up and when we met we had a great time getting to know each other however he returned back to his country and we still kept in touch through online msging , my question is that how do i know if he likes me….there were signs during our time together and he still msg me everyday online good morning and we will hv a convo online….. i am not sure if he is just being friendly?
This question is so common for women AND men that I had to answer it…
“How do I know if someone likes me?” or
“How do I know if they’re just being nice?”
I like to do a little research before I give away any advice.
I want to see how others perceive this problem.
I want to know what kind of general information is “out there.”
Sadly though it often makes me sick to my stomach to only find the typical “let’s play high school rules.”
- Johnny likes you if he wants to spend time with you.
- Fred is into you when his smile widens and his eyes grow larger.
- He’s definitely into you if he won’t even mention other girls or he’s right there when you text him “Hi.”
- And my favorite (which yes I have heard before), “If he gets hard when you dance with him then he definitely likes you – a lot!“
On top of all that the best ten lists of “What to look for” are of course followed by the warnings…
- “But if he calls too quickly he’s needy“,
- “But if he’s too nervous he has no experience” and of course my favorite,
- “If he gets hard when he’s close to you and you haven’t even kissed, he’s desperate.” Well okay the last one might be a good one to follow.
I’m not going there because I have my way of looking at “like.”
Whether it’s online or not and it may not help you answer your exact question but it will help you to stop worrying about it or better yet, make sure you never have to ask this question again.
Here is some of what you feel when you like a guy or you’re attracted to him:
The joy of wondering.
The constant eagerness which makes you happy, exhilarated, anxious, and flustered all at the same time.
Your heart rates jumps a little and suddenly time has no meaning and becomes a concept you can experience but find it difficult to imagine what it feels like.
Attraction as a word is boring and bland and it can mean many things.
But as an experienced feeling between a man or woman can be described with such vivid and beautiful words it becomes a magical event.
Here is some of what a guy experiences when we like you or we feel generally attracted to a woman:
Our eyes get a little wider.
A clear visual imagination which aims to fill in the blanks you are hiding beneath your clothes.
An eagerness (and this is important) to tell or show another guy, so we know what we’re experiencing is not our mind playing tricks on us.
Time lengthens to the point where it can feel like forever as you pass by making it easy to re-live the event over and over again.
We’re literally attracted to being close to you and find it difficult to pull away or leave when we’re close. ( And yes some guys figuratively kick their heels like some blushing boy. )
You can take that advice and if you use it wisely you’ll easily notice the tell-tale signs of attraction but I don’t want you to do that because…
I want you to ENJOY your experience with a man and when you can learn to do that, I will almost guarantee you’ll make it easy for any guy to enjoy HIS experience with you.
You feel excited. The mystery peaks your curiosity. The wonder of it all makes it, “Wonder-ful!”
Asking questions is good but knowing what questions to ask is the key to learning. And that’s the real hard part about learning anything.
Here are a few examples:
SEEMINGLY INNOCENT QUESTION – “How do I know if he likes me?”
Let the mystery excite you. Inside your head this is what I want to hear,
“Well I like myself and we’re having a great time. We’re having fun and wow – look at him smiling.”
THE RIGHT QUESTION – “Are we having fun despite the world around us?”
SEEMINGLY INNOCENT QUESTION – “How can I tell if he enjoys being with me beyond a friendship?”
You will know without some doubt the thoughts or true feelings of someone else.
THE RIGHT QUESTION – “How much do I enjoy being with myself?”
Trusting and valuing yourself enough confirms your attractiveness to any guy, without asking.
Granted not every guy’s going to feel it but then you must admit to yourself it’s about what he’s feeling.
Sure you can better your ability or learn how to spark attraction in more men, but you’re not going to find those answers by asking “How do I get a guy to like me as more than friends?”
My last piece of advice is simple and it’s for you personally:-
If a man commits in writing to you for months, if he travels to another country to meet you, if he makes his presence everyday without fail just to wish you a good morning – friendly or not you have connected with him and he is enjoying his time with you.
Don’t ask if he likes you – his actions involve you in his life and that’s what really matters.
Enjoy it and stop trying to pop the bubble attraction creates because you’ll only risk ruining it all.
If you want to understand men better then please take a quick look over at my “just for women” area at “Why Do Guys…” If you don’t understand him, you could miss out on who he really is.