“Following this advice is just going to get the cops called on you. There’s this place called a bar where it’s considered socially acceptable to hit on women you don’t know. Please don’t hit on women in grocery stores. Grocery store parking lots are the most likely place a woman will be attacked by a stranger. If you approach me in a parking lot, you might get maced or shot. At the very least I will cause a scene and embarrass the hell out of you, and you will deserve it for being a creep.”
The above quote was a real comment left on an article on how to approach a women in grocery stores or coffee shops. I will admit it was not the best article but it was to give guys a fun clever way to start a conversation. It was a primer (so to speak) to get them started and a few examples to get their imagination rolling.
Lastly it was to show any guy who is afraid of what they call “cold approaches” which are the hardest that it’s okay and that it IS possible to start a conversation with a woman despite their fears.
Yes, the article is obviously not for everyone. Yes, the examples were not that great. In fact, with the most respect to Carlos Xuma, who wrote How to Approach Women In Grocery Stores and Coffee Shops, I think my article: How To Pickup and What You Need To Approach Women In A Grocery Store had better examples. 🙂
However, after reading her comment I felt compelled to write back and give my opinion… here it is.
It’s this exact type of attitude that scares normal guys who just want to meet REAL women (outside of a place filled with drunk people just trying to get laid) into believing they need pick up lines or some magical secret phrasing just to start a conversation with a woman.
What you might think is someone “hitting” on you is probably just a guy who wants to meet someone under normal everyday circumstances.
Sorry to say that not every dude who talks to a woman is just trying to get in her pants or “hit” on her.
Not every guy who talks to a woman in situations like this is a creep or is looking to attack you. (Of course if it’s 3am and in a dark parking lot you would have every reason to suspect something criminal is going on, but this is not the case here.)
It’s YOUR attitude which is creepy and scares the shit out of too many men and makes them believe they’re not allowed to approach a woman in a normal everyday situations.
It’s a grocery store or a coffee shop. Get over it. It’s not a doctor’s office. It’s not a funeral home. It’s not a school. It’s not a very specific social situation where different rules might apply.
I believe it shows courage AND confidence to approach or start a conversation with a woman in a public place and that alone IS a very attractive trait. Lots of women would absolutely love and appreciate a guy who is willing to brave a situation to get to know her.
Too many men are way too scared to approach a woman and start a conversation because they believe every woman is like you. They believe you’ll embarrass them. They believe you’ll mace their ass or causes a scene. They actually believe it is creepy to start chatting with a woman they don’t know.
How else would you expect a single guy to meet a single woman outside of a place where you claimed it was socially appropriate?
To all the men who are reading this I’m here to tell you (as long as you’re not acting like an ass) it’s okay to approach women in these situations and lots more.
Not every woman is like this one.
Most single women (who are looking to meet a real nice guy) will gladly enjoy talking with you.
The majority of (real) women are not out to embarrass you, reject you, or make you feel like a creep or criminal.
Confidence and courage go a long way in meeting women.
Don’t let a few discourage you from trying something which is natural and recommended.
Don’t for one minute believe you’re only allowed to talk to women in bars and clubs because chances are you’re not going to meet your next girlfriend or “love of your life” in that type of place anyways.
Follow some social courtesy.
Avoid blatantly “hitting” on her with sexual innuendos and talk to her with the sole purpose of making her smile and getting to know an attractive stranger and it’s going to be alright.
From there – you both can decide to exchange contact information to further your interaction.
Again, confidence, courage (and of course the skill of knowing “how” to talk to women) alone is very attractive to women.
My opinion is DO IT! Talk to women more and not less. It’s not creepy when done right.