She’s Not Looking For A Relationship, Are You A Lover Or A Provider?

"Going in for the kiss is a good thing but if it's not working for you... something's wrong."

Two types of guys - Which one are you FIRST, a LOVER or a PROVIDER?

When you are looking to get into a relationship with a specific woman you often act a certain way which is not always the best way make it happen.

You pursue her more and eliminate your other options because you want to show her she is the only woman you want.

My personal "older" experiences with women had me searching for a girlfriend and acting like the provider.

I would pursue her, court her, and downplay my "lover" side because I wanted to show her I was different from the typical guys who only wanted to screw her.

I was wrong!

If your experiences with women or one woman is leading THEM to make the decision to be your girlfriend or not, the personality you are showing her is that of the PROVIDER.

Here is what made me see what was really going on:

"Lovers are pursued. Providers do the pursuing. If she sees you as a provider, a woman will withhold sex, play hard to get, and test you to see how good of a provider you'll be. If she sees you as a lover and gets physically involved with you very quickly, then YOU will be in control, and you can choose where the relationship is going."

---> taken directly from Advanced Dating Techniques workbook page 38.

NOTE: Not the workbook - it's an affiliated link to get the series for yourself.

Women want men to lead in (dating and attraction) and move from lover to provider in a natural way which shows control and strong inner beliefs.

BE a lover first and BE in control of where things can go from there.

Yes, women who are looking for a relationship with a guy will often ask questions (or test you) to see how good of a provider you might be.

She will want to know your past relationships, whether you're looking for one too, your family life, and even if you feel she'd make a good girlfriend.

Women ask those questions when they are interested in a guy and sometimes when they're just curious.

Some women will also AVOID asking those questions because they don't want to appear too forward or needy.

They either are trying not to scare you away or are not sure themselves if that's what they want.

Making it ALL too easy to become CONFUSED.

It's even easier to screw things up when you're overly chasing her, constantly trying to prove yourself as a provider, and trying to answer her questions in a way which doesn't make you look like a dumb ass.

This is where YOU (as a guy) comes in.

This is where your leadership means everything.

Again, as stated above, this is where YOU need to be in control.

Being a lover first doesn't mean you're some scumbag only out to screw women and leave them in a one night stand.

That couldn't be further from the truth.

Sure it would allow that to happen easier but it's not really the definition of a lover.

The way I got a handle on the difference and integrated it into my life (like written above) was to first STOP ACTING like the PROVIDER and then:

  • Overcame a fear of talking about sex with attractive women.
  • Focused on having fun first by doing more non-traditional dates and flirting a lot more.
  • Became a little more of a tease to women in many different ways.
  • Threw in some cocky-comedy with better conversation skills.
  • Focused on strengthening my weak non-confident body language.
  • Focused on always being relaxed, calm, cool, and in CONTROL of myself (especially around hotter women).
  • Changed how I talked to women and learned to answer them in a more attractive way.
  • Became a real challenge without playing games.
  • Acted like I was or am the selector.
  • Encouraged women to qualify themselves to ME.

Yes, it's a long list but it's easier to do than it appears and as David wrote, while demonstrating all that and she felt instant attraction, women would ALWAYS see me as the lover...

Giving me the control to decide what comes next.

Figure out which one are you right now - The Lover or The Provider?

If women are all too often telling you they're not ready for a relationship or are holding out longer and longer, try becoming a lover first and take control over your dating life.

No More Guessing – Get Real Answers!

DiaLteG Perfect Woman

Sorry, not everything at DiaLteG Tm is available everyone.

CLICK HERE to unlock over 300,00 words of expert advice and simple ways about how to attract women naturally.

Go Here, Become A Member and Attract Your Perfect Woman… Naturally!

22 Signs Of Attraction & Interest A Woman Will ALWAYS Give Youu!

Her Attraction Signs Signals Cover

♦ What happens when you have fears of being sexually unattractive. Six ways you make it worse but comes with an easy fix.

♦ A simple method you can use immediately with any woman to know exactly how she is interested in you. Do this every time and watch the results. No more guessing about friends, dating, or just sex!

♦ How to interpret a woman’s signals and the order of their importance. She only has 3 which makes learning them easy and highly important to memorize for best results.

♦ The secrets of escalating from eye contact to physical intimacy. If the thought of getting physical with a woman makes you nervous – This is for you!

♦ The absolute reality behind her every sign and signal of attraction and what it really means to you and your relationships with women.

♦ Over 22 signs of attraction & interest – 39 Pages, ALL for free!

Sign in below for your free download:

“22 Signs Of Attraction & Interest A Woman Will ALWAYS Give You”

Stop wasting time with women who only will EVER want to be your friend!

 

Dave here (…) I never put it use in my social life probably because I was raised to believe only “sluts” want sex and who wants a slut, right? Right now she is looking pretty good. LOL (…)  making me feel better about many things I just wanted to say I am glad I accidentally ran across your site and to say Thank You and keep up the good work. 

Thank You again your awesome and your teachings are also, Dave Allen

About the author: Peter White – I know a few things about life, dating, attraction, & relationships. It feels great to share & also helps pay some bills. Get in touch, become a member, and hope you get something useful out of it all.

Previous post:

Next post:

The article is posted in these Categories: Attraction – The Emotional Instinctual Trigger – A Skill You Can Learn, Getting A Girlfriend – Build a Great Relationship With A Woman You Love

Leave a Comment

0 comments… add one