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DiaLteG TM

She’s Not Ready For A Relationship But Still Wants To Keep Him Around?

in For Women, Teaching
Is he pressuring you into committing to him?

what will i do if a guy wants me to be his girlfriend when i am no yet ready for relationship beacuse of family matters and study matters? what should i do that he will still be on my side no matter what even if were no yet committed? help me plase thank you! : (

Now, now…

This is the real truth about men and not how to keep a guy waiting for you.

But please keep reading because as always I have something to say which can help you out.

I understand you’re not ready for a commitment and it hurts to know you might miss out on a guy because of bad timing – but is it really fair to ask how to get him to wait for you?

The best advice I can give you is – trust, respect, and understanding. Follow those and things just might work out in for you.

Trust that when you’re ready he will still have feelings for you.

Respect his position but don’t make it worse by defending your choice to stay single.

You have every reason to make your own choices. No man should ever be allowed to pressure you otherwise or to make you believe it’s “now or never!!”

Understand relationships in your life don’t follow a form that is predictable and reliable.

Sometimes the timing is there and everything clicks. Sometimes he’s not ready and you are.

Sometimes you find, no matter what you do,  it’s just not going to happen. We all wish or hope that wasn’t the case but reality tells us something different.

I can guarantee you this.

If he is “guilting” you into a relationship, he’s not very mature at all and starting a relationship based on guilt will more than likely always fail.

If you do in fact love him and you want to make it work you must understand positive relationships require (among other things ) Communication, Commitment, and Compromises or not sweating the small stuff.

Keep a positive outlook based on your desires to better yourself and your families livelihood. That alone will help you find incredible men in the future because men do in fact, seek women with stable lives. It’s the one thing most of them will agree on.

Here’s what you can say:

Communication – “Listen. I must remained focused on my life. Trust me you’re going to love me even more when I get things handled over here.

Commitment – “If you do in fact love me, then commit to me. I’ll never stray as long as I know you’ll always be there but I just can NOT be there as your girlfriend. I don’t have that much to give right now and it will destroy or weaken my ability to better my world.

Compromise – “If you agree I will give you a reasonable amount of my time based on what I’ve got going on over here. If you stop bugging me and pressuring me I will have that extra time to spend with you. I just can not guarantee it will always be when you want it.

  • Always communicate to him how his actions are making you feel. If he doesn’t get it, then it is his loss.
  • Always commit to yourself first before you commit to a promise to someone else that you can not possibly keep. Play fair and expect fair play back.
  • Always learn to compromise on the small things because when you don’t they add up quickly and will overcome your emotional stability.
  • Expect him or anyone else to give as much as they take or walk away until they learn how.

I understand you’re looking for the real truth, my gut response, the male in me speaking out openly and honestly so here it is:

When men are in “relationship mode” and can not see anything but being with a girl, but she’s not ready, he may become extremely possessive.

He may exhibit anger, jealousy, and display acts of helplessness.

If you listen closely you can hear it in his voice when he pleads with you and is stating his “case.”

I don’t think enough women understand how deep a man’s emotions really goes.

How when we’re introduced to a woman who shows us her love and we feel the same way back our sometimes single minded instincts take over.

Making it extremely difficult to steer us away.

This is a big reason why so many men get hooked on one woman so easily.

Remember when you’re dealing with your situation to not take his actions personal. Just acknowledge what he is feeling is all part of being human.

Think of it this way.

Without those powerful emotions driving him forward I highly doubt he would have even caught your eye in the first place.

If you want to understand men better then please take a quick look over at my “just for women” area at “Why Do Guys…” If you don’t understand him, you could miss out on who he really is.

About the author: Creator of the nice guy approach, why do guys, why do chics, and DiaLteG TM. Transformed from a nice guy kiss ass who wanted women to like me for “who I was” to an attractive “good guy” who knows what it takes to create attraction and succeed with women, dating, and relationships.

Please LIKE or SHARE my Facebook fan pages: Why Do Chics…? | DiaLteG TM OR JOIN the best group on women at Why Do Chics…?. Find and follow me on Twitter – Peter White.

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3 comments… add one
  • Paige

    Hi,my best friend told me that if loves me and he want to have a relationship but i’m not ready and actually i’ve never been in any kind of relationship and he doesn’t know. i lied to him about being in a relationship with someone I thought that he will not purposing i now ignoring his calls which i feel bad about. I do love him to but i am nt ready. So pls help how do i tell him tht .

    • Just be honest with him Paige. Whether he understands it or not is not really your problem. Honesty, especially in cases like this are much better.

      Considering what article you left this comment on – why don’t you tell us why you’re not ready besides never being in a relationship before, and if a guy could ever change your mind.


  • Elena

    My situation is a little different. My bf ,who I was in love with, passed a few months ago. He was going to propose to me but passed before he could. A couple months after his passing, a friend introduced me to their friend and we started talking. We hang out maybe once or twice on the weekends and we get along great. This new guy in my life knows about my situation and knows im not the best person to be dating right now. He understands and is very very patient with me. I have my ups and downs and im just not a stable person, I feel. Knowing this, he still wants to stick around. He told me the other day that he is confused about what “we” are? a couple? friends? I have always been honest with him since the beginning and told him I cant commit to someone, im scared of a relationship and im not ready for one. He said, just when he feels we are moving forward, we take 10 steps back and we’re back to the beginning, but he would rather have me in his life than not. I can tell he really cares about me. I told him I didn’t want him to wait around for me because I cannot give him a time of when ill be ready to commit to another person. Despite knowing all of this, he still wants to patiently wait and be there for me and help me through my healing process. (Very patient). He is a great guy I just hate doing this to him. I will say I enjoy his company and hanging out with him. I just feel bad.

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