How many times have you seen some incredible looking woman and immediately think, “She’s too good for me” or that you can never be with her so why bother trying anyways?
As if it’s only HER choice and you have absolutely no say whatsoever.
I wouldn’t say it’s a typical “nice guy” problem BUT it certainly affects a lot of guys. Yes even the perceived better looking ones.
“She’s better than me BUT I’m better than the guys she ‘chooses. She’s probably a bitch anyways. Superficial. She’s only into looks. Probably would only give a guy a chance she wouldn’t be ’embarrassed’ to be seen with. Chooses guys who are better than her hot girlfriend’s friends. Thinks her shit don’t stink. I want her. I wonder what she looks like naked. She would never date me. Why bother trying.”
On and on went the negative judgmental rambling because in all honesty, I was so pissed at myself (and her) because I never believed I could be with someone that beautiful. My “track record” also proved it to me because the few times I did try harder ended up in rejection or her “choosing” someone else.
We’re not born thinking that way. It happens over time and with each new experience kind of finds a way to a soft-coded belief system which leads only to failure.
Well.. luckily things have changed and I want them to change for you too.
This is for all of you who believe, just because she’s hot or beautiful she’s better than you in some way and you believe it’s only ever going to be her choice.
You can take my word for it but based on my own experience BUT you’ll be much better off overcoming this “affliction” by finding a very personal way to get over it or get past it as soon as you can.
Do NOT let it go because it will affect your dating and relationship life negatively.
“To become a more attractive man, inside and out, understand your looks will fade but your attractiveness can continue to grow if you allow it happen.” Don’t Give Away Your Power To Attract Beautiful Women
Now I could tell you some horror stories – like trying to kiss a model whose breath smelled like some cheese I left out for a week, or dealing with some “drama queen” bent on making everyone else as miserable as her, or the hot stripper whose low esteem only allowed her to be with some abusive man… Yeah like if I didn’t know just how to hit her I could never be with her…
BUT that is NOT FAIR and it’s “unattractively” judgmental and it’s really not needed.
The best way I’ve found to overcome this “Worshiping Women” or better said “Pedestal Placing” problem is to put understanding first.
Understanding is not a cure-all but’s it’s a great first step.
It goes like this.
The obvious – practically ALL women who walk this planet share the same physical features.
Inside and out. Understand she will age, she will wrinkle, she will suffer, and unfortunately she will die.
With that understanding WE (us guys), will age, we will wrinkle, we will suffer, and we will die.
No one is exempt from life.
Now you must understand why “pedestal placing” is unattractive and how it without a doubt hurts your chances of dating what YOU see as a beautiful woman.
It makes you the absolute chaser… since you feel it’s HER choice to choose you, you’ll be forever “trying” to get her to feel something more for you.
It lowers your status in her eyes… Kissing anyone’s ass only tells them you feel you’re below them. Like they’re better than you. Attraction (for the most part) only works when status is equal or higher for one over the other.
It makes it extremely hard for her to feel like a real woman and not just a body… When you worship a woman based on her looks alone, you’re basically telling her that her physical features makes up the majority of who she is.
It makes you act “different” around her…. You’ll appear or be too anxious and it can have your dick trying to run the show. He has his place but if he’s allowed to call the shots not many respectable women will put up with it or respond positively to your cock like thoughts.
It ruins congruence and your authenticity of being an attractive man.
Now let’s look at it from her point of view.
Imagine how much pressure you put on her to always look perfect or to live up to your standards.
Imagine what it feels like being bound to living up to someone else’s expectations.
Think back to one person you’ve known, man or woman, who thought you were perfect in some way.
How did it make you feel?
Did you feel like you deserved it?
How uneasy did it feel just being around that person?
And was it really fair to put that kind of “value” when inside you know you’re not perfect.
Another thing – I don’t know about you but I always question the integrity, (or why they’re saying it or what they’re looking to get from me) of people who place me high on their list based on something superficial that is.
If you’re basing women on superficial things likes beauty or physical attributes there’s also a greater chance she will NEVER trust your integrity and ALWAYS questions your intention.
She will never trust your actions or put much value, if any at all, on what you’re saying or doing.
After understanding comes experience. This is the harder part.
You may not fully integrate the right attitude until you actually do date someone you might have placed on a pedestal before but that’s alright.
You can always ask your friends who have about them.
Get the real life dirt on the life of an attractive woman and look OBJECTIVELY.
Search through all the Internet stories about “hotter” women and some of the crazy things they’ve done. Just be careful. We’re not here to judge or put others down.
Think of it as just leveling the playing field.
Go on Twitter or Facebook or find some hot woman and start reading. Just like everyone else, I think you’re going to be disappointed, sometimes shocked, and you’ll also see the similarities between what ever woman says they want, what they accept, who they actually choose, and what affects their feelings the greatest.
You can also go out with the purpose of just making friends with the “hotter” ones. There are many benefits to doing that and it takes a lot of the pressure off you to perform. I give you a lot of them in my girlfriend steps… The Benefits And Rules Of Becoming Friends With Hotter Women.
It may go without saying, or it may seem corny or new age – but the absolute best way to get over thinking attractive women are better than you, or that you want them so bad you can not help but put them on a pedestal… or how they have ALL the choices is to…
Develop a remarkably strong self-confidence, become totally secure with yourself, and understand we ALL have our problems, setback, and hangups.
We’re all just trying to “get by” in life with what we know or have and how we deal with those problems or troubles are developed through experience.
Your security and strength will always help you to step back and see the bigger picture.
You’ll get more choices, have more options, and when you achieve that, a pretty face will be just that because…
Strong, personally successful confident men will ALWAYS look for something more than beauty.
“Make yourself the perfect counterpart and women will be more drawn to you than otherwise.” This Is NOT About Her! The Rubber Duck Theory of Attraction
It’s generally true, you only have to learn through understanding and seeing (or realizing) the bigger picture:
NUMBER 1: Just because she’s attractive does NOT mean she’s better than you.
NUMBER 2: Just because she’s attractive does NOT automatically make HER the chooser and YOU the chaser.
NUMBER 3: ALL women have the same attraction triggers and you might find some who ignore them based on your looks alone (at first and comparative to hers) but despite her beauty, she can not help but to feel them. You only have to learn how to “tap” into them.
NUMBER 4: Status IS important. Authenticity is equally important. Being or allowing yourself to pre-judge someone based on looks alone lowers your status relative to them and degrades your authenticity.
NUMBER 5: Worshiping her based on “first sight” beauty alone only conveys that you believe she’s nothing more than a body. A physical entity with no real value.
NUMBER 6: Adding pressure to her based on her looks alone to BE the person you’re attracted to, makes her feel like she has to live up to YOUR expectations and not her own which again, merely conveys you think you’re better than her because of how she looks. Which believe it or not, actually lowers your status to her and destroys or does not allow a natural attraction to happen.
NUMBER 7: Becoming more secure in who you are and your value in the world, and comparing you and your success ONLY to yourself, will help you to become non-judgmental and give others the opportunity to do the same.
NUMBER 8: Do NOT allow yourself to search for the beauty underneath the person thinking that makes you better than the rest, or have you believing doing so will make you more attractive, or hope others (including women) will do the same for you because it does NOT work that way.
NUMBER 9: You can’t search or look for beauty and expect to find it. Pure natural attractive beauty finds YOU because you can not predict a feeling that might happen in he future. HOW you feel only happens in the present or the moment you realize it’s happening.