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If You’re A Short Guy Not Attracting The Confident Women You Want

in Being Short, Growing, Inspiration
The diagnosis is simple – increase your confidence and STOP comparing yourself to others.

The diagnosis is simple – increase your confidence and STOP comparing yourself to others.

If you’re a shorter guy, or if you’re a guy who has no difficulty in dating or sleeping with some women but the ones you really want are not responding to your charm…

Then you must read the advice I’ve written to a member.

He wrote,

“Let me just start by saying that your articles are really interesting and sometimes even make me reminisce (…)

I just feel that it comes down to looks(…) but i just feel the girls im attracted to dont like me back. Maybe im aiming too high. At the end of the day, ive never seen someone of my height
or my features be with the type of girls that i want. It sucks cause i feel like they don’t even give me the time of day sometimes. I get polite conversations but thats about it.”

Hey man,

You can NEVER aim too high. I don’t want to sound like a puppet giving old rehashed advice so I’ll throw in a little disclaimer.

Do NOT expect to climb Mount Everest without the right tools or skills.

I’m not saying that to get a date with a “supermodel” that you will not meet her while wearing running pants and loafers in a supermarket. I bet that’s happened at least… once. 🙂

I’m merely advocating when women feel out of reach to you, the ones you find yourself the most attracted to are being treated like they ARE Mount Everest.

And YOU believe that you lack the tools or skills necessary to be successful in that area.

I know it sounds unreasonable for me to ask you to treat every women the same.

After all I “treated” my new skills on every woman I came in contact with and wound up having to reject a lot of them and it didn’t feel good.

I didn’t like doing it so I tried turning it on and off.

But that didn’t feel real or right either.

Eventually I learned about escalation.

The women I was interested in got the pleasure of experiencing it.

The women who were not so lucky only because they were into me and I wasn’t attracted to them were NOT going to experience, it at least from me.

If they assumed it was happening or decided to do it themselves I politely made sure they understood I was definitely not interested.

You seem to be lacking in an area which is equally important to becoming a more a attractive man… and that is knowing how and when to reject others.

Maybe because you are feeling too much empathy. Maybe you’re just trying to get your “rocks off.” Trust me I love sex an awful lot too.

Maybe you’re using the situation to give you a false confidence boost but trust me that only lasts so long because you end up feeling more guilty and less confident.

Through this guilt comes the idea you’re just not good enough for the women you really want.

As if you’re sparing them what you feel won’t be a good match because they are so much better than you.

Never under-estimate the power to reject.

I hate to say reject because it becomes so personal to people but it does make the point much clearer.

Learning how to reject is part of the inward journey I feel you must take to get through this dilemma you are having. ( Others are telling you could do so much better but you may feel they are not right or else you actually would have or be with the women they believe you deserve. )

When you learn how to say “no” to women when they are not actually what you are looking for I believe you’ll feel a whole new sense of self-confidence.

One that will last much longer, make you incredibly stronger, and give you an immediate sense of the self-worth you so deserve.

Remember this : Women WANT to feel special with the men they fall in love with and it’s hard to make them feel special if you don’t know how to say  “No.”


So you have a height issue. Lots of shorter men suffer from them too.

You’re definitely not alone there.

Somehow we never see the cute hot girl with the shorter man.

Some of us have even tried to look for some kind of reassurance that a shorter man can succeed and that goes like this…

We see this incredible woman and immediately look “up” to see who is by her side.

We WANT to look across or even down but unless she’s six-foot seven chances are we’re going to look up to see the guy who appears way too tall for her.

We even carry around this “tall” movie in our heads of the perfect couple. She’s hugging him and resting her head on his chest. A little smile comes from her face as she leans up to kiss him.

And it fucking stings doesn’t it?

To a woman it’s an “Awwwww!!!” but to us it’s a sneer and a grumble because we feel we’re left out by no choice of our own.

We were BORN this way.

We’re only going to get so tall!!

We feel helpless and to top it all off – she’s nice to us, just not “nice” in the same way she is towards the taller guy.

So what’s the answer to this so-called height dilemma?

Well we can practice our limited belief exercises and come to an obvious conclusion of absurdity – because short men are not destined to be with someone they don’t really want.

That still won’t change the way we feel about our position.

It only rewires our mindset to allow us to grow. Which is definitely healthy.

We can limit ourselves to only approaching shorter women but isn’t she looking for an even taller man.

The problem is still not solved.

In fact we’ll probably take the rejection harder because if a tall women rejects us and the shorter womae do too, where does that leave is? With nobody?

I feel the answer lies mostly in these areas.

1. Confidence.

Confident Couple

Confident men attract confident women – short or tall confidence has no connection to our physical size.

Confident men appear taller. I’ve noticed when someone immediately notices I’m a shorter guy and then feels the need to talk about it typically have some insecurity which is threatened by my confident attitude.

And on the woman’s side – when she mentions quickly my height I know without a doubt, she is attracted to me. And she too may suffer from an insecurity about her height. There are many taller women who suffer from a similar problem over their own height.

I recently helped out a man who was about 6 foot 10.

He was looking for something for his girlfriend and he was concerned over her height. She was 4’10”.

My first impression of this guy was he was a touch rude but overly nice if you can believe that mixture.

In other words not a bad “catch” by any means but she probably got him as opposed to the other way around.

So here’s this woman reaching up two feet everyday to get close to him.

You mean to tell me she couldn’t find someone closer to her height.

You mean to tell me she just “happened” to find the love of her life and it  just “happened” that he was two feet taller than her…

I don’t believe in destiny and I don’t believe there’s only one person out there for us.

I believe in the law of abundance which tells me she has height issues and chose to perhaps solve them by introducing this extreme to her relationship.

I’m not going to predict the outcome of their relationship and for all I know they could be happy together forever.

But I will say there’s definitely something more going on than meets the eye when it comes to how men and women “hook up.”

I use “meets the eye” with a purpose because what WE see when we notice the taller guy with the “hot babe” is merely the surface and we have no way of knowing what is going on inside their heads or in their relationship. WE assume and that’s it.

We just don’t know what’s really going on and are not privileged to know these things.

However the one thing we CAN know about…

The one thing we CAN change which is internal…

IS our confidence.

A self-confident man attracts self-confident women and just because she’s hot in no way determines how confident she really is. For all you know she could be riddled with self-doubt about herself.

Which is one reason why we must:

2. Not Compare Ourselves to Others.

Notice I did not say men. I said others. That means men and women.

If you compare yourself to the women you’re attracted to the most, maybe she has privileges because she’s hot, maybe you feel she can date any man so why would she date you, maybe you just feel she is that much better than you because she has the looks and personality to go along with it –

Those seemingly innocent comparisons we make every day of ANY kind creates a black and white definition of where we put ourselves in the social world around us.

So WHY would you do that to yourself?

Why would you want to structure your existence in the social world based on how attracted you are to someone?

We’re going to do it. It’s unavoidable. We’re going to constantly impose a ruler on our social existence which is based on our belief system and our self-worth.

But the key to attracting a genuinely real woman, with great confidence who holds herself the best she can, who enjoys life and laughing but is not afraid to experience new things, and is not afraid to get the not so enjoyable tasks done every day – Oh and who happens to look amazing in a see through teddy…

Is to NOT impose or project that internal “ruler” we have on any one person.

We must learn to limit its effect.

We must learn to compare who we are and our progress to ourselves only.

We must learn to let her decide where she fits for herself and not let it affect our personal worth.

Think of it this way.

If you want to date a confident woman… Build your confidence.

If you want to date a taller woman… Build your confidence.

If you want to separate yourself from other men who are competing for the same women… Don’t compare yourself to THEM.

If you want her to see you as who you are and not judge you by your height – Don’t compare yourself to TALLER men.

If you want to date a taller woman… Don’t compare yourself to HER.


I know there’s more to this whole dating thing.

I can not possible tell you, “Hey man just be confident and you’ll have every woman drooling over you.” or “Stop worrying about the other guys and stop thinking so much that she is rejecting you personally because of your height.

But – if you’re NOT dating the women you really want and are settling, if you feel your height is a limiting factor and you always find yourself trying to “work around” the issue, if you somehow or some way don’t feel the “better” women are giving you the time of day I can tell you…

  • Approach them with the confident belief that no one is barred from feeling insecure about something in their lives.
  • Approach them with the attitude that if she’s into always comparing you to other guys she has issues which go beyond a normal thing.
  • Approach them with the power to reject nicely because let’s face it, we’re not all going to make a relationship together.

You’re going to see what YOU WANT to see in the world and sometimes it’s just best to realize there’s a lot more going on underneath and you have no control over that.

So why not begin to see yourself as a guy. Not short. Not tall. Not big. Not small. Not anything but the best you can be at even given second you are living in.

If women are not giving you the time of day – ask them to share some of YOUR  time.

If women are only giving you polite conversations – tease them a little about it. I would and I do.

You have to show a little edge before they are willing to go there themselves with you.

And remember a conversation must start somewhere and if you’re getting that far turn it up a little and make it fun for both of you. Tease her a little. Flirt with her.

At the same time allow her to “do her thing” in attracting YOU.

Here is What I Recommend You and Everyone Else Seriously Get to Achieve Greater Self-Confidence AND to Get Over Your Height Issues:

#1 to overcome any height issues you’re having with women. Secrets to Success with Women for Shorter Men – The ONLY product designed for guys who feel they are too short to successfully date and was written by a shorter guy himself.

#2 – Become “fearless around” women and be inspired and taught how to be and feel confident. The Fearless Code from David Wygant. This will help with all your issues including your height.

#3 – Gain of quick boost of confidence from who else but a group of “hot” women better known as the Wing Girls. Boost Your Confidence with Women.

#4 – Learn the communication strategies of confident men? Learn the Art of Conversation and Persuasion with Women. Alpha Confidence. Invest AND immerse yourself in this if you’re looking for rhw complete package. This covers EVERYTHING you’ll ever need.

About the author: Creator of the nice guy approach, why do guys, why do chics, and DiaLteG TM. Transformed from a nice guy kiss ass who wanted women to like me for “who I was” to an attractive “good guy” who knows what it takes to create attraction and succeed with women, dating, and relationships.

Please visit all my pages: The Nice Guy Approach | The Approach | Why Do Guys…? | Why Do Chics…? OR Like my Facebook fan pages: Why Do Chics…? | DiaLteG TM OR JOIN the best group on women at Why Do Chics…?. Yes, I’m a very busy guy. 🙂 Oh… I almost forgot Twitter – Peter White.

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