Everyone has tips and tricks to landing a girlfriend.
As if you can “trick” a woman into getting in a relationship with you.
Or as if there’s some “magic tip” you somehow missed and if you could just find it – women will beg you to be their one and only.
Before I found my manhood and got my “nice” head out of my “bitter” ass I thought I had to ask nicely,
“Please… be mine. I’ll love you forever and ever. I’ll treat you nice. I won’t forget your birthday. I’ll always remember out anniversary. I’m not LIKE those other guys. You don’t even have to say yes right now. I’ll give you all the time you need to decide. In the meantime why don’t you try to kiss me. Because that’s what I could so desperately use anyways. Honestly I don’t even know what I’d do if I had a girlfriend. I feel like somehow I would just bore you to death anyways…Never mind. You won’t say yes anyways!!!”
Tell me if you’ve been here or there.
You feel stuck in a crappy job.
You have money but not enough to do everything you want.
The only reason you’re not flat broke, at least you believe, is because you don’t have a girlfriend… but then again maybe you’d be able to do those things your co-workers get to enjoy because their live-in “other side” pays half the bills.
Your mind goes back and forth between bitter and depressed and some days you’re just hoping apathy will soon be your friend. It’s just too much work to care about your situation.
Then there’s the “nice guy needs a girlfriend” deadliest killer of all.
Maybe if you’re like me you catch your mind singing, “Well I hope and pray I’ll be a Bill some day.”
Except you don’t want to be a Bill in congress and you never asked some “Schoolhouse Rock” song to get etched in your brain.
It just happened.
You weren’t born into the greatest most stable family in the world but at least one of your parents did something right.
They taught you to be nice and feel proud of it.
They taught you the world’s a better place because you’re in it. They taught you drive, how to play fair, and they taught you the greatest tool of all…
You didn’t intend to believe it all. It just feels right and like everything else in your life – it just happened.
Isn’t that how everything comes about in your life.
Well except for finding a girlfriend.
Maybe it “just happened” a couple of times but compared to how many women you’ve met in your life you wouldn’t count those at all.
Okay if you can relate to any of what I just wrote you’re definitely not alone. I didn’t pull that all out of some imaginary place.
It came from my own experiences. My own thoughts.
One day I got sick and tired of waiting around for things to “just happen” and I made some major changes in my life and attitude.
But don’t worry…
I’m not going to tell you how I did it today, or fill your head with useless information in a last-ditch effort to inspire you to start making things happen in your life.
I’m not going to steal away your hope – or tell you it’s useless to have unless you’re doing something, anything to make hope more than just a word – but have it followed by action.
I get the feeling you already know what needs to be done in your life to make “getting a girlfriend” a reality and not some random event.
I get the feeling you know there’s no trick to this relationship game, there’s no magic spell you can put women under, there’s no “greatest tip of all” to landing the girl of your dreams in your bed every night.
Or at least that attractive women you met two weeks ago who you’ve thought about more than a few times.
The bigger question here is – if you know what you have to do, if you understand what attracts women to some guys consistently, if you know what he’s doing that keeps him going from one girl to the next without even a break for a quick lay…
If you know why things “just happen” for them and not for you…
- Why do you still feel stuck being single?
- Why do you still feel you have no control over how you are with women?
- Why do you keep finding yourself thinking and acting the same way around women that you did 5, 10, or even 15 years ago?
What makes it so hard to, as they say, escape your “comfort zone” when you know, without a doubt, we’re (most attraction experts) are not selling you false promises or dirty tricks to fool women?
I’m serious here.
One time it took me ten years to make a few minor changes just to get my “nice head” out of my “bitter ass.”
My point is, just finding a girlfriend is not that difficult and you know it.
I bet and based on my experience if we would settle for any woman who came along – we’d probably have 2.5 kids and a garage to park our mini-van.
We’d be up to our ears in debt but it would be different – because we’re talking care of the family and not just pissing it away on a weekend of binge drinking and one very expensive taxi ride.
So instead of “settling” for a boring relationship with a woman we’re not that interested in anyways we settle with “being forever single.” At least that way anything we do only hurts us.
If we screw up with a family we become the worst kind of person our parents warned us about.
We’re nice. We do NICE things. If we don’t feel dedicated to a relationship we’re only hurting someone else by getting it in the first place.
Maybe it all comes down to this…
Being single, sexless, or dateless for long periods of time creates these overwhelming feelings of self-reliance.
Being alone gives two options.
Deal with it and rely on nobody else or give up entirely and settle.
In the darkest hours when you’re feeling the lowest, I, we, you, suddenly realize there’s no shoulder to cry on.
There’s no comforting hug in the middle of the night, there’s no one there for real intimate support – and over time this self-reliance becomes so powerful, it’s the only strength we know so many other people don’t have.
It’s something we can feel good about everyday.
It may become the only thing we have to keep our hope just alive enough to make our dreams of a better reality a real factual event of the future.
Suddenly the answer become so clear.
It’s not a fear of leaving the comfort zone which send the years racing by us.
It’s about the mere possibility of learning we’re not as strong as we think we are.
Worse yet the remote chance in being alone there’s strength, but in a relationship we’re just average and can’t possibly give another soul any kind of real happiness.
Whether or not there’s some trick in finding a girlfriend, or if you come to the same conclusions I do, you have to admit the strengths developed being single need to be trusted to perform beyond the comforts of stability.
Trust in the strengths you already have to help you through some random uncomfortable changes.
You’ve earned the right to use it beyond what you’re confining it to.