I love you man. I really do.
Yeah I know, a web site about “attraction” and I’m talking about love.
The ultimate word.
I can hear the groans loud and clear… I suppose I can hear the moans too and as they quickly quiet lead up to one of us whispering those three magic sometimes tragic words,
“I Love You.”
You can swear your ass off and SOME people might not like it.
You can practically offend everybody in a room with a racist comment or just screw up one single word and get your ass kicked quickly.
But you’ll do it, won’t you?
I’ve done it.
I’ve spoken too quickly.
Didn’t think before my mouth got carried away.
Got myself in trouble by running my lips out or revealing someone’s secret because, well I guess I wanted to look cool.
Yet there’s one word in a man’s dictionary which carries so much weight we’ll think for hours, days, weeks, months, sometimes years before we even attempt to use it…
Because it can scare the fucking shit out of us.
Unfortunately, for too many men, which may even include me – We don’t even know what it means with regards to attraction.
Sure most of us love our parents, our children, our closest family members, even some of our friends but when it comes to that special woman we may or may not want to spend the rest of our lives together, the meaning become obscured, doesn’t it?
We’ll avoid hearing the word.
We’ll save it for that perfect moment and won’t use it again.
We’ve been “extorted”, “beaten”, “tricked”, and some of have used it just to shut her up.
How terrible we act sometimes.
It’s a bad word, isn’t it?
At least when it comes to attraction…
Say it too early and she doesn’t feel it back – we’re told she’ll run.
Say it too often and it loses all its meaning.
Say it too late, when you don’t have her, or under your breath from far away – we’ll then it’s more of an obsession than the real thing.
Some believe you can’t truly love a woman if she doesn’t love you back.
Changes the whole meaning there doesn’t it?
Some believe they love their possessions, their money, their favorite movies, even a song you can’t get out of your head.
I wonder if someone ever counted how many “love songs” were ever written?
Or worse yet – how many Valentine’s Day Date movies so many men have suffered through?
There are no set of rules on HOW to love another.
We all just kind of “wing it” don’t we?
Hope we get it right when just like everything else, we fail more than we get it right – but with love the lessons are not often learned and we’re doomed to repeat the mistakes over and over and over again.
There are a million different expressions people have come up with to explain it philosophically and I’m sure the first person to coin the word “love” while we roamed the planet in our “skin-covered” bodies didn’t have a clue what he (or she) was setting in motion.
The shame they might feel now… Haha!
Perhaps it’s a word we could’ve just left out or our language anyways.
I mean, when you think about it, saying it can never give it meaning, it’s in our actions where “love” proves itself.
I do have a point in all this.
Not to explain “love” because so many before me have studied it from the Biological, Psychological, and Evolutionary basis as described briefly here at Wkipedia
I’m looking for a guys view of it all.
What it means to average guys like you and I.
Maybe why we spend our lives hoping it will find us.
Maybe how it makes us feel.
And definitely what a woman might do to bring it out of us.
Some say initial attraction stirs chemicals and hormones in our bodies and over time with the same person, they must fall away.
Judged by my own experiences and how I’ve had so many attractions come and go – I’d have to agree.
But what is it that makes us want to stay with a woman for longer?
What must she possess or fulfill in our hearts to stick around while we try to bring back the chemistry we first shared?
What makes us try so hard to keep our love safe while constantly seeking to keep the attraction new and exciting?
Who’s courageous enough to take on this challenge?
I’m not looking for the overly mushy tear filled eyes to pour out their hearts – just the simple – the bold – the classic – the definition of love from YOUR point of view…
With (as I first write these words down) roughly 20 days until Valentine’s Day I’m hoping to get a few responses.
I’m also hoping we can USE this information to communicate with ALL women just a little better than we might have before.