It doesn’t matter if you’re the laziest man or woman on earth EVERYONE is driven in their lives through challenges. This is great news for any guy who wishes to attract more women by challenging them the right way which either creates more attraction or builds on what it already there.
Today you’re going to learn exactly how to do it the RIGHT way so women get EXCITED by your unique challenge. This can drive up her feelings for you, get her qualifying herself to you, increase her desires towards you, and when done to perfection… have women CHASING you making you the chooser or selector which means more choices for you in the type and quality of women you want to date.
But first you need to experience a different mindset IF you want quicker results. Stay with me here…
Answer these questions in your head or write them down – How good are you at attracting women? How are your skills with women? Do you feel in control of your dating and relationships with women?
How does that make you FEEL?
I’m willing to bet you don’t feel like much of a challenge right now. You might even feel like shit. If you were to go out and start meeting some women right after answering those questions – you’d probably fail miserably because you’re not in a positive mindset. Far from it.
Now try on a NEW mindset taken directly from one of the best programs written to help guys just like you attract women:
“How would you act if you knew that beyond the shadow of a doubt she was TOTALLY into you and wanted to be with you, but you weren’t that interested and decided to RELUCTANTLY give her a chance to hang out with you.”
Taken directly from Advanced Dating Techniques workbook page 36. That is an affiliate link to buy the program and NOT the actual workbook itself.
Did you do it? Hope so because it has a real purpose. If not please take the time to just IMAGINE it. Revel in it. Enjoy it. That’s your life and no more problems with women because now you’re IN CONTROL.
Totally different feel, isn’t it?
Okay, I realize it’s not real but you must also admit going out to meet and interact with women with either one of those mindsets or attitudes built in your head CAN and DOES make a difference on how you act around women.
One makes YOU a challenge to women, the other makes WOMEN the challenge to YOU.
Keep all this in mind as you go through these ten tips and understand your attitude and mindset can boost your level of success here AND increase the effectiveness of the tips given.
Secondly another quote,
“Most guys think they need to impress an attractive woman. They try to be on their best behavior and not make any mistakes or say something that will upset or offend her. This leads to nervousness, self-consciousness, and stilted behavior. It creates a tense, uncomfortable atmosphere, and destroys attraction.”
If you go into ANY interaction with a woman feeling like you need to impress her – this mindset will more often than not make you less than the challenge he’s looking for and your ACTIONS will show it.
As stated above: You’ll be overly nervous, self-conscious, and your behavior will come from a lack of confidence. You will create a tense, uncomfortable atmosphere which will not only destroy attraction or stop it from happening, but will lessen the challenge you’re trying to create.
Here’s your NEW more attractive mindset.
You do NOT need to ever impress an attractive woman… EVER!
Therefore…
You can create the ultimate challenge for her by EXPECTING her to IMPRESS YOU!
That’s it. Easy stuff.
Two new attitudes. A whole new confidence. A real challenge:
- Act as if you know that beyond the shadow of a doubt women are TOTALLY into you and wanted to be with you, but you not that interested and decide to RELUCTANTLY give them a chance to hang out with you.
- Act as if you’re not there to impress women, you’re there to give them a chance to IMPRESS YOU.
Let’s get to it…
Top Ten Ways to Challenge Women To Feel Attracted To You
“Women respond to a real challenge in two ways: They either give up (while sometimes trying and failing or by not trying at all ) OR they get EXCITED by it and rise up to the challenge.”
#1. Be interested in YOUR life more than before so women feel challenged to join you.
This is number one because it’s going to be extremely hard to challenge a woman IF you don’t like your life and you have little interest in yourself and where you’re going or what you’re doing.
The real secret for this to work its magic is the invitation to women to join you on your life quest. To want to be around you often – just in case something interesting happens.
Seriously if you don’t like your life (or even yourself) what women would want to join you in it – or worse yet, what type of women would want to be a part of it?
You must find a way to start enjoying your life as much as possible. When you’re having fun, naturally women will want to be a part of it and squeezing themselves in any way possible into your life becomes a real challenge to them.
Women rarely meet men who have a purpose, who are interested in themselves enough (without being self-centered) and who fully LIKE the life they’re living – which means they will go out of their way to BE or STAY close to you.
Some and more of these concepts are covered in the now famous life-changing program called: Love, The Final Chapter. You want to seriously start challenging women more? THAT will help you find your purpose, enjoy your life, and just by doing so you’ll be taking a direct INTEREST in your life. That’s my personal affiliate link and I wouldn’t put it there if I didn’t support it fully and if it’s not obvious, I earn a commission when you buy it. This is my way of taking a real pro-active interest in my life.
Here’s some more specific help to get you started in the right direction at DiaLteG TM:
- My Secret To Not Boring Women And Communicating Excitement – The secret is to become fascinated by yourself and the world around you.
- Creating Attraction With Passion and Giving to Something Greater – Do you love doing it? Start living out your life passionately and following your dreams.
- 5 Fail Proof Tests For Getting A Girlfriend FAST – All women — especially the ones who make a great girlfriend — are looking for a man who likes to have fun and do adventurous, unusual, even dangerous things. Show her that you’re IN CHARGE. Be a CHALLENGE to her.
#2. Give her just enough space to wonder what you’re doing.
Let’s reword that… Create the perfect amount of space between you and any one or more women to allow them to wonder and imagine what you’re doing and/or how you’re feeling about them.
If it’s not obvious – needy, clingy, and desperate are attraction killers. There’s nothing less attractive than someone who follows you around all day and there’s less attraction towards someone where you know absolutely everything about them and where they are and what they do.
Space is good. Space creates a longing for something including another person. Space gives attraction and love room to grow or in some sad cases – fizzle out and die.
Space also creates a feeling of missing something which drives the attraction and adds to the challenge of removing some of that space. Think of something you really want right now (outside of women) and how far you’d have to go to get it. What’s between you and your goal or conquest or prize is only SPACE but that alone is probably enough to now make you want it even more.
Too much space is not good also. It’s hard to miss something you’re not emotionally attached to or even care about.
There’s a perfect balance here when created produces the greatest challenge.
Luckily for you, following #1. “Be interested in YOUR life more than before so women feel challenged to join you.” you’re already well on your way to creating the right amount of space because you’re busy. You have things going on. You have things to do AND you’re enjoying life.
Now all it takes is a woman to notice you’re not the needy clingy type whose life revolves around women and just getting laid and she’ll be challenged to close the gap between you and her.
This is a very important challenge because it encourages her to get closer while at the same time INCREASES YOUR VALUE:
- Easy to get – low or no perceived value.
- Hard to get – more perceived greater value to those who are trying to get it.
It’s a real no-brainer when you “think ” about it. (Did I just write a pun?!!!!)
How much space or when to create it is usually the most difficult part of creating this challenge. Some women need or want more, some less.
Space also just doesn’t mean distance. In fact it probably rarely does.
Sometimes it’s just a matter of assuring certain things are happening on your interactions with women.
Like when you’re a party and you give the opportunity to meet and talk to people without hesitation or any form of jealousy.
Other times it’s just making sure you are not meddling into her life and “letting” her follow her own passions and dreams without being judgmental.
You’ll also find it can just mean being a good listener while not offering advice or trying to solve all her problems. The space created here is that of freedom to open up to you AND give any FREEDOM to someone to do as they please – may be all the space they’ll ever need.
There are endless benefits and ways to give a woman the right amount of space to create a real challenge. Explore them all and you’ll soon see how well it actually works in getting women to feel more attraction for you.
Make sure you read this piece I wrote: The Difference Between Giving Her Space and Creating The Space Necessary so you’ll know the difference between creating the right space and giving it because they will have to opposite effects. One being good. One being bad.
If you’re a nice guy struggling with a needy desperate vibe, then read nice guy tip 18. It’s quite popular and vry helpful: Give The Women You Are Attracted to…Space.
Things are going to get real interesting around here so make sure you pay attention the next items on the list… We’re going above and beyond yourself and into actual INTERACTIONS which creates the challenge. Something I know ALL of you are eager to learn.
#3. Socially proofing yourself without playing mind games or the “Conversationally” Challenging approach.
Trust me there are endless cheap tricks and sleazy tactics you can use BUT why bother. They don’t work as well and they’re superficial bullshit which only offer her to challenge WHO you are and when she does that leaves little room or time create attraction.
This one is very specific.
Most men offer way too much information and don’t challenge a woman to seek more OR they say things which doesn’t require her to want to dig deeper for that little extra bit you might not be revealing.
And that is BAD for attraction and offers no real challenge.
A conversational challenge while social proofing yourself, without the game playing, is just learning a new technique of story telling or withholding the right type of information while you’re talking to a woman. That’s it.
Social proof is simply allowing a woman to see for herself (without bragging, boasting, or showing off) what a great person you are and how people like you. Which of course includes other women.
When a woman realizes you’re already proofed, it challenges her to want to be a part of it and in a strange way trigger her competitive nature to win over your time and attention over OTHER women who she feels are not worth your time anyways.
Since this challenge – number 3 is not directly related to showing your “proofed” I’m not getting into the details of how you do that while not playing games, it’s enough (for now) to just know WHAT it is and leave it there.
However – conversationally speaking, as mentioned earlier, way too many guys give out way too much unimportant irrelevant information which leaves no mystery or challenges her to want to know more details.
Here are two ways to start a story. Which one do you generally use BUT which one do you think works better to create social proof and mystery in her mind?
- “My good friend Lisa and I were shopping and we…” OR
- “This woman I know, Lisa. fun girl, we were shopping…”
Got your answer? Good.
Notice the subtle difference between the two. The first one says you have a friend named Lisa (too much irrelevant info). The second leaves lots of room for thought. Both are beginning to tell the same story but they each have remarkable two different feels to them when a woman interprets them in her head.
The difference is to omit things which are not important to the story and are irrelevant. Does it matter that Lisa is your friend? Nope. Does she need to know any more than that? Nope.
What IS important is that we know this fun girl and had a humorous experience with her and we wanted to share it at a relevant time.
Which actually is better story telling anyways
This challenge is quite simple but does require practice.
The technique also does something else: It shows we’r not trying to show off just become we know some girl. It also steers from the angle of jealousy some men might try to use. That CAN work but it’s NOT my nice guy approach.
I understand this example sounds trivial but think about your conversations with women, think about all the extra info you’re giving out which do nothing to create or build an attractive challenge. You’ll soon realize how just a few small tweaks in how you talk to women makes a huge difference here.
The proof is, we have fun friends. We do fun things. We have stories to share. We KNOW women who may or not be sexually attracted to us and that is all left for her to think about later. She can imagine whatever she wants and if she wants more details – she will ask.
The point to all this is “challenging” becomes clear when we start to put together what is covered so far:
- You’re enjoying our life.
- You’re having fun outside of women.
- You’re not needy or judgmental.
- You’ve created some space to allow things to grow and develop.
- You’re proofed by other woman.We’re proofed by other women.
- You’re conveying it all through positive communication without trying to appear over-confident.
- You’re challenging her attraction and communicating charm, wit, and an ability to talk. Something all women put high value on.
Since we might find ourselves talking about about other women AND she has a little interest she’s very likely going to wonder who they are and possibly start to ask a lot of questions…
Which leads us to number four the list…
#4. Do not answer every question she asks too directly or even with the actual truth.
When women are “feeling” it for you and you’re challenging them attractively they WILL ask lots of questions. Which is good because it means they’re showing a lot of interest in you.
This gives you the opportunity to really turn up our charm, flirt, and challenge her to want to know even more.
Common questions include what you do for a living, how old you are, if you’ve ever been married, do you have kids, what you do for fun, and lots of questions which can get a little personal.
Okay, I’m NOT telling you to lie to women and as long as you do it with a good spin of humor and in all good gun – then it’s absolutely fine to mess with your answers.
You actually want to make he wonder if you’re actually telling the truth and if your answers are that absurd, no woman in her right mind will seriously believe it… sort of.
Here are examples:
What do you do for a living? “I eat, I breathe, I sleep…. you know the basic survival stuff. I’m not really one of those nuts who keeps a shelter under my house waiting for the apocalypse – but I do practice the basic survival skills.”
Where do you come from? “My Mom. She’s great. Carried me the whole nine months too. Maybe someday I’ll introduce you to her. She likes girls who asks lots of questions and who are interested in where baby’s come from.”
Have you ever been married? “Three – wait – no four times – Hahaha!!! I almost forget about the second marriage. I tell you NEVER get drunk in Las Vegas because anything you DO do there – definitely does NOT stay there.”
Do you have any children? “15! No lie. It’s a wonder I can even get out of the house. Luckily they stay mostly in a cubby hole I have. They’re good kids though. Just feed them once in a while and they seem happy.”
What do you for fun? “Sex. Lots of hot don’t care who I’m fucking man or woman sex. Probably should be in some sexual anonymous group but never make it there because something always comes up.”
Those are just a few examples which hopefully you’re getting the point.
Just be careful and don’t overuse it. This is just a spice to add to your conversations and the basis of it. Women can tire quickly of a guy who won’t give her a straight answers.
The idea is to have fun with it all.
Use answers which could not possibly be true.
Make sure you do it straight faced or dead pan. It works better that way.
Make sure she’s laughing with you.
Challenge her to STEP up her line of questioning and work a little for the answers and most real women will gladly oblige and go along with it.
This is a wonderful way to gauge how down to earth she is and good of a sense of humor she has AND you’ll find lots of women will play right along with you and feed the outlandish stories themselves.
Done right – they love it.
Not answering her directly is a great way to have some fun interesting conversations with women so she sees you’re unlike most guys she talks to – hence it challenges her to want more.
This is also a slightly varied version on what is called cocky/comedy. Something I learned from David DeAngelo. When I added it to ALL my conversations with women the results were instantly, yes, INSTANTLY amazed.
For more ways to spice up your conversations with women read this article I wrote: Do Women Think You’re Too Predictable? Here’s How To Change Her Mind. There’s a little there on flirting, cocky comedy, story telling, how to ask and answer her many questions and some great leads on how to talk your way into attracting women.
It must be said – if you really want to challenge women – the easiest most effective way is through your conversations with her. On that note GET THIS: Cocky Comedy. Worth every penny and straight from David D himself so you know it’s good. (Of course it’s another affiliated link but hey since all I do to live is eat, breathe, and sleep, I have to make money somehow, right?)
Trust when I say you’ll be more than satisfied how well those routines work because they convey so much: Humor – Confidence – Intelligence – Wit – Charm and yes even more. It’s such good stuff here’s the link again:
Cocky Comedy – Word-for-word Scripts For Making Women Laugh Proven Tips And Tools For Sparking ATTRACTION.
On to the next challenge…
#5. Show some genuine interest in her and give her the right reasons to miss you.
It may go against the common beliefs others tell you about attracting women. How you have to illusive. How you have to play hard to get. How she must think you don’t want if you want her to feel attracted to you BUT…
I’m going to tell you flat-out: They’re all wrong IF you want to challenge a woman AND if you want a real woman who’s not only interested in guys who act this way on purpose.
In many of my experiences and conversations with women they’ve told me how they get dejected or felt rejected after meeting a guy because he acted uninterested in her and her life.
Don’t make that mistake. You’ll miss countless opportunities because you’ll for one, make women feel unwanted and unattractive; and two because they just won’t give a shit about you. You won’t be challenging her at all. You’ll just be rejecting her and she’ll move on quickly to a guy who at least SHOWS some real interest in her.
If you want to truly challenge a woman you MUST show some level of interest which is easy to do if you’re totally into her so be careful. Just don’t lay it on too thick. Don’t go all needy and clingy on her or you’ll have the opposite effect.
The point or this challenge is highlighted below:
“I balanced just enough mystery about what I was doing when Alicia wasn’t there, with just enough BEING THERE for her to get that girl to like me more than any other guy she knew.
The standard Pickup logic may not support this, but I’m here to tell you that if a person is exposed to your presence regularly enough (but not to extremes), they will start to miss you when you’re not around, and they will feel a burning attraction begin to build for you.
Again, this has to be done with the right method and in the right intensity, otherwise it will fizzle out into “friendship” territory.”
How to Get a Girl to Like You – The 3 Laws of Attracting Women
You looking for a good balance between doing things you love, living your life, showing interest in yourself AND doing things with her and sowing interest in her.
Most guys push being with her too much, and some don’t show much interest because they’re worried – but that balance doesn’t work.
For a woman to miss you she has to have a good reason to want to see you. Giving her a taste of yourself and then sort of taking it away for a short period challenges her mind and body to want to have more of you.
Let’s go to another piece of David D’s work in his Double Your Dating Ebook and special: (Of course I’m not 100% positive it came from there. It was either that or his Meeting Women Online series. Sorry if there’s some confusion. It was something I wrote in my personal journal when I was going through his stuff. Found it in my newsletter archives here.)
How do you make someone want something?
- Tell them they can’t have it.
- Give value to it.
- Make it scarce.
- Connect it to something else they want.
- Make it beneficial.
- Make them work for it.
- Prove that other people want it also.
- Make it a challenge.
You’ll hopefully notice how that list contains so much of what is covered today including “make it challenge”.
It fits perfectly on this challenge #5 because you can NOT achieve any of those items without giving it a little first.
Consider to truly create a challenge you’re like the “less annoying” version of those people who give out samples of things to taste at the market.
Give her a taste of you, just enough to challenge her to want and desire the whole thing.
This naturally leads to challenge number 6…
6. Show or give her a little mystery and challenge her to “figure you out”.
There’s quite a long and extensive post I’ve written on this subject which can not be done right in this short segment.
I suggest you read the entire thing because the number reason why women fall for quiet mysterious guys is because he is the ULTIMATE CHALLENGE:
“He is the ultimate challenge… Physically, Mentally, and Emotionally.
When a woman picks up a mystery novel or watches a show which combines mystery and excitement, it’s easy to see how she gets hook on it..
If he is a little mentally coy – flirts casually, hold backs some information, won’t give her a clear direct answer sometimes, he challenges her mentally to get it out of him. When done the right way – it can be a lot of fun to her thus driving up her attraction.
First, she can’t help but to wonder what’s going on inside his head – more mystery – it entices her to get things out of him which he won’t share with another woman. Triggering her competitive drive.
Second – it shows strength beyond what she might feel comfortable about in herself. Meaning he appears stronger than her.
Third – it proves to her without a doubt he is in complete control and can handle adversity sometimes again, better than her.
One of the most attractive features of this challenge is the added pressure (with sometimes frustrated outbursts by her) by the mere fact he’s not a book, or show – she can NOT just look or peak to the ending. Although part of her really wants to, the other part (her female nature) is enjoying it way too much. No matter how badly she wants to know, the thrill and excitement outweighs everything else.
It’s entirely way too easy for a woman to get literally obsessed over a guy who challenges her on all three of these levels. If things don’t progress and the challenge remains along with the mystery, the quietness, and the excitement, she could go years thinking and over-thinking about it without even ever having been with guy.”
Start becoming just a little mysterious and you WILL challenge a woman on every level conceivable.
On to number 7…
#7. Tease her often (the right way) in every way possible.
Nothing is more challenging and fun to a woman than being teased. It brings out her youthful sexual urges (no matter how old she is) and it challenges her to want to play along with you.
It can be something silly like busting her ass when she does something stupid but funny – it can be fun as in playing “keep away” with someone she asks you to get for her – AND it can also be creating the right amount of tension and teasing to engage her sexual desires.
You don’t even have to choose one.
Do them all!
Just make sure you follow the rules, do it right and you will be challenging her.
The wrong way centers around you acting like a dick, making fun of her in a way which is offensive, going above and beyond sexual frustration as if her body is something you have a right to play a game with… the wrong way leads nowhere and any decent woman will throw you to the curb quickly if you even try it on her.
Trust women are smart enough to figure out the difference. Trust women are clever enough to figure out what you’re doing. Trust ANY for of teasing DOES create a real challenge for her AND it’s a lot of fun which often leads to real actual physical interactions between you and her. IF that’s what you want.
Once again this is a very large subject so I’ll pass you on to some more specific help so you can fully understand what teasing is, how it’s done right, and when and how often you should do it.
“Don’t be insulting. Be TEASING. Teasing is done with a tongue-in-cheek sense of humor. You kid with her. If you make fun of her in a mean or malicious way, you’re out. If you don’t let her know you’re kidding, you’re out.
The point of all this is to: Get her laughing AND Challenge her (by demonstrating Self-confidence and that you’re DIFFERENT.)”
The challenge here is that you’re creating a natural anticipation. A preview of more to come. Sexually or not it entices a woman to want more and more more… you get the picture.
Done right you’ll see things from a woman you might have not experienced before – her voice will change – she’ll get goosebumps – she’ll begin to chatter nervously – it’s something absolutely amazing and exciting to be a part of especially if you’re the one causing it to happen.
AND it’s a real challenge to her that few guys know how to do right.
Yes, it’s a beginning to seducing a woman, at least the sexual form, so make sure you know HOW to seduce her so you don’t leave her hanging so much you don’t even get to sleep with her. That would NOT be a good thing.
Let’s move on…
#8. Challenge her competitive drive to win.
Time to play some REAL games with her. Not the player moves bullshit but actual games which will naturally bring out her competitive drive.
Believe it or not – women LIKE to women. They LOVE to compete. They absolutely enjoy sparing with a guy in any game which they think is fun. Obviously you’ll have to figure out which games she enjoys first or better yet, teach her something new you think she’d like.
This is an EASY challenge because it’s built right into it.
This a also a great challenge because it can be a physical thing which often leads to, of course, physical bonding.
Here are just a few:
- Pool or Billiards
- Darts
- Basketball
- Golf
- Tennis
- Paint ball
- Shooting Range or Skeet
- Go Kart racing
- Four wheeling – not a game but works the same
- Wind surfing – again, not a game but works
- Snow Mobiles – same as above
- Jet Skiing – same as above
- A Snow ball fight
- and YES, lots of women these days do play video games which makes a perfect in-house game leading to getting closer to her. Just be sure the video game part isn’t the highlight of your gaming repertoire.
- Any game you can play one on one works the best.
*Feel free to add some of your game suggestions in the comment section*
Okay, just to be clear, I’m not talking about fun party games with your friends, board games, cards, or anything couples get together with other couples to make an evening enjoyable. Don’t get me wrong, they have their place but when it comes to single people playing against each other, you must choose your game to fit the mood.
Choose a real physical game over sitting around doing nothing because it gets the heart rate up. There’s a certain closeness and bonding created also.
Choose a fun lively game over some boring trivial thing so once again, there’s some real movement involved in it.
Please be sure yo’re not a sore loser and do NOT let her win just because you want to get in her pants. There’s no need to turn a fun competition into something too trivial or pointless to wine AND there’s no need to turn a little fun into the pressure of the freaking super bowl.
This is a relatively easy challenge and it WORKS so do not dismiss it. Use it often. Have fun and enjoy!
Women are highly competitive so why not use that angle to create a wonderful fun and exciting challenge and give her even one more reason to want to be with you on any given day you’re available.
Here’s helpful tip which works amazing well.
Link the game playing up to a date.
Turn any seemingly non-competitive thing into a fun competition. If you’re hiking, first one up there wins. If you’re swimming – who can do a lap the fastest – if you’re at a carnival – see if she can win YOU something.
You can also turn something non-competitive into a bet. “I bet you can do this…” OR “I bet you something if you can do this or stop me from doing that.”
Raise the stakes a little and throw in some real consequences for winning and losing which will make the transition to getting physical with her natural and fun.
This stuff is easy so have fun with it.
Next up… the last two are a little different.
#9. Challenge yourself and women will want to join you.
This one is about challenging her in ways not many men can do which is just one reason why it works so well.
This means to challenge her in a way lots of men can’t.
Scot McKay put it best in this quote:
“Here’s your challenge. From now on, be Murphy’s Law.
When you see that great woman online, envision all the other guys out there puzzling over what to write her. You may even visualize all the other “Mr. Nice Guy” or “Mr. Creepy Guy” emails flooding her inbox.
Then, without hesitation, read that woman’s profile, find what catches your eye about it, challenge her with a creative first e-mail…and expect results.
Be the guy who enthralls her enough to make her want to hide her profile for now–even as other guys are yet in mid-sentence typing to her.”
A little of the beaten path but he has a good point.
If you take life and see life as a fun challenge and always strive for more for yourself and those around you… YOU become a natural challenge to others AND you will challenge them to join you.
Your mood or how you face life rubs off on others. Moods are catchy. Being fun and positive about things and you’ll make others feel the same way when they’re with you.
This is the point of this challenge and it can be used any way you want as long as you enjoy being challenged and truly immerse yourself into answering and rising up to any challenge. Yes, this can even includes learning the skill of attracting women.
Take a pissed off guy who thinks the world is out to get him, he’s always negative and avoids confrontation and challenges – NOBODY wants to be around that guy and if they do – it’s because they’re thriving off of his negative attitude to validate their own.
BE inspiring to others by living your life with inspiration and you’ll quickly notice how many women want that type of excitement and drive in their life.
Be positive.
Look at the brighter side of things.
Face any obstacle head on.
Strive to always learn and grow and BE that person you want to be.
Your attitude is so easily transferred on to other people so why not use this as an advantage when comes to being a real challenge to women. Especially because it doesn’t have to big, the small things add up.
Okay – lastly let’s get to number 10… my most controversial, well I suppose odd one to date… but hear me out.
#10. Reject any woman you don’t want quickly and honestly.
You may be asking HOW does this challenge a woman and you every right to ask because it’s a little difficult to see.
Think about what type of guy you are when you leave a woman on the hook…
Think about what type of guy stays with one woman while waiting for someone better to come along…
Think about a guy who is so afraid of rejecting a woman he lies to her just to make himself feel better…
Think about a guy who would rather cheat on his girlfriend than just to end it first before he sleeps with someone else…
What you see from all those men is not really a challenge to women, is he? Apparently he’ll hook with up anyone to avoid being single and alone. And that’s just the tip of it.
On the other end – rejecting a woman the right way, honestly and quickly, without being an ass about says a lot about a man’s character. It also shows and proves to himself he has a st of standards which he is not willing to compromise.
When you hold high standards for yourself it shows women (even if they don’t see it) then you ARE a challenge and if and when she “gets you” she knows without any doubt in her mind – you like or love her, depending on how you feel of course.
Women sense your character even if they don’t see the things you’re doing to create it. This is what they’ll get from you:
- You have solid decision making skills.
- You have clear goals and a desire to reach them.
- You have strength of character and high moral values.
- You have empathy towards others.
- You’re a man with choices who weighs his options.
- You’re not a guy to settle with second best.
- You don’t enjoy wasting other people’s time.
- You’re happy with yourself and okay being single… for now.
- … and the list can go on.
When a woman meets a guy who has those qualities it becomes a special event for her because let’s face it, not many men or women possess those qualities. Thus making YOU a real challenge to her.
A lot of that comes along with knowing when and how to reject a woman. It’s not all a matter or turning down women just to boost yourself or make yourself look better…
It’s because ONLY a certain type of guy will naturally do it. Which proves without a doubt the type of guy you are, is actually you and not some guy doing things just to make yourself look better.
Rejecting a woman the right way is easy – just do it with empathy, understanding, and imagine if it was you being rejected – how you would like it to be done. The point is too to get it done quickly and honestly.
If you’re considering breaking up with a woman or you’re want to know HOW it should happen, read this: Breaking Up Like A Man. it’s a .pdf file and it’s filled with lots of great stuff but the one take away is: Make sure you leave her better off than when you started. Plus it will help you to not commit when you’re not ready for it which again, proves you’re a great challenge to women.
In CONCLUSION:
People (men AND women), respond to a real challenge in two ways: They either give up (while sometimes trying and failing or by not trying at all ) OR they get EXCITED by it and rise up to the challenge.
With that said…
Women do NOT want to be GIVEN their next lover, boyfriend, or casual date without any real challenge.
They value something more when they have to work for it and this includes all personal relationships.
You can easily reach a higher deeper level of attraction when you learn all the ways to challenge a woman.
You can become a natural “man commodity” to women by giving her the most fun creative challenge of her life and she’ll thank you for it.
These challenges work the best by not pretending or playing mind games with women and just setting it up naturally to happen which is something I’ve hopefully covered in depth today.
This was a real “challenging” article to write and I do sincerely hope you’ve found it to be useful in your life and helps you to succeed in many more ways than just attracting women.
All the best…
ok so we have seen eachother 3-4 4times since then , we went bowling, went to my place watched movies and went away for a day on a road trip.. she still thinks i have a wall up ,, cause i dont show too much affection or dont rell her how im feeling .. but weve fooled around now quite abit.. she reckons we have alot of chemistry.. mental and physicall,, no i didnt have 5ex with her lol .. she wont let me go that far.. which is good cause then id think she was like all the other girls i been with who give it up instantly.. but its weird we talked and talk yesterday and the “how many people have u had sex with’ question came up ,, he told me how many then i didnt want to tell her cause i been kinda bad .. anyway i told her briefly and she was like wooh.. but that didnt stop us from fooling around after.. i just find it strange that im still initiating contact sms .. calls but shes always up for it to see me .. i havnt like a girl like this for a while .. do u think she is trying to test me , do u think she just wants to have fun with me .. or she just wants me to be a man and show her how much i want her,, cause the last guy she was with was a total ass and they were frineds for 2 years and when they did make it official and startd being boyfriend and girlfriend he goes and cheats on her.. she has a big wall up and she even admitted it after she said that i did first,,… do u think she likes me for fun or like she wants to test me cause shes scared and wants me to show what i feel .. lol listen to myself.. i sound like a bitch i never been like this for years.. hahaha
Thanks for the update Tony.
My instinct tells me she’s looking for a relationship or sees you as relationship material. She doesn’t want to ruin it by just jumping into sex with you. (Remember her last ‘relationship’ and how long it took her to commit. She’s probably scared about getting hurt again)
Women will always test you even if you’re in a committed relationship. It’s not a bad thing. It’s just a instinctive skill they are born with to determine the real truth. Don’t concern yourself too much about determining what is a test and what is not. Just focus on doing what you’re doing because again, it’s working.
Of course she wants to know if you really want her. She also wants to be certain you’re the real deal. She will wait until you decide where the relationship is going because let’s face it Tony, you’re the male, she’s the female. And in relationships like this the masculine man always must lead and if the woman accepts she will follow your lead.
Also my guess is that she knows you’ll contact her so she won’t initiate it. I bet if you made her wait or did something unpredictable like waiting much longer than you ever had before you would drive her crazy. Too much would have her believing you’re only in it for a sexual encounter. When women are looking for long-term relationships they look for predictability in certain parts of your actions. Meaning the romance should feel spontaneous and unpredictable but congruence in the male leadership role and being predictable in them shows her you’re a reliable man and can prove to be a great partner in life.
As for the fun thing…keep having it because of course she wants to have fun with you, but if that was the only thing she wanted from you she would not be testing you to see how good of a boyfriend or husband you would be. In fact she probably would not be testing you much at all.
Now the big questions are….drum roll please…..hahah….are you sounding like a bitch?….haha!!! No seriously Tony the big questions are…
Who is going to reveal their true feelings first? Will it cause one of you to back off after it is revealed? Has she already revealed her feelings for you? Have you already revealed your feelings towards?
From what I know of your situation she already has revealed how she feels about you. When women mention chemistry. When women mention how they are scared because of a last relationship. When women always answer your calls or texts. When women always want to see you. When women still see a wall up or find it difficult to read your true feelings.
THIS MEANS SHE ALREADY HAS REVEALED HER FEELINGS FOR YOU.
She might not say the words exactly but that’s because it’s your job to make her comfortable enough to do so. She’s feels vulnerable in this area and she wants you to protect her heart from further pain.
I would say you don’t have to go so far as telling her directly but if you want her to profess her love first you must make her feel safe enough to do so. This could take time.
Hope that helps out Tony and again thanks for keeping me informed on what is going on with you and her. Let me know how she responds to what I told you to say about the reading thing. I bet she’s going to love it.
Good luck Tony.
Hi Peter,
Very impressed with you site. Great advice. It must be fun answering these questions for all the soft dudes who don’t want to have sex with women. My main intent with a women I’m dating is to be manly to have sex and make her feel like a real lady. Flirting, and physically escalating is what you should be doing with a women–not being her girlfriend. I do privet coaching and my focal points are masculinity and intamacy. It would be cool to connect with like minded people.
by the way … i like ur response about the “ur hard to read.. very good .. im trying that next time she says that
ok well ive been seeing her alot we gone on dinner dates.. spent the day together on a road trip.. gone bowling.. she even wants to go fishing.. anyway last night .. i took her to eat at this chocolate bar. and we talked ,, and she said “you dont say much Tony.. and she said she isnt sure what my intentions are… anyway after a little while i said ok well here goes.. my intentions arent bad cause i wouldnt spend so much time with u and also i havnt met a Girl like you before ” so yeh thats what i said and left it at that.. anyway then she said that she hadnt met a guy like me and i give her a different vibe to other guys.. and that her friends also think im hot and a nice guy cause i met them saturday night when i went out she came and visited me in a club.. .. browny points lol “im hot” hehe and yeh she knows i was a bad boy like i had my fair share of woman .. hmm hmm but she said thats my past and its fine.. cause im a man.. and then we talked and she said that the reason she has or had a wall up was because i was hard to read and she didnt know what my intentions were .. by the way she persisted on paying for the desert meal.. cause i usually don’t let her pay but yeh i liked the fact that she has pride and independance and persisted //
then after that i took her near the harbour for a walk in the main city ..we walked , talked kissed she held me cause she was cold and asked me if i minded if she held me in public and i said yeh why not ..
then we went near the beach and fooled around abit,, anyway its all good but i see these other guys on her facebook posyig shit and smiling at her on her facebook , writing all this shit on her pics.. mind u i never write or comment on anything on her page cause im not one to do so .. and i looked at her phone when she took it out of her bag and i saw a guys name on it he sent her some long ass message and i got pissed off, all want to do is confirm that she really wants me .. like we saw a shooting star and shes like ” make a wish” and then asked me what i wished and i wouldnt tell her cause then it wouldnt come true and she was looking at me funny when i asked her,, i still always initiate contact sms and call her.. i dont want to do this but im thinking should i not call or sms her for a few days just to see if she cares .. or do u think i shouldnt… but from what ive told u .. do u think she really likes me r do u think there is another guy or other guys she talks to or is into .. i just get the shits cause she said to me she went through a faze where she was adding all these random guys on facebook and they write shit on her wall and i feel like ground and pounding their head in ..i havnt liked a girl like this in soo long .. its weird.. lol
what do u think Pete .. talk to me and thanx for all this advise
Classic stuff Tony and I appreciate you keeping us all informed. I bet there are a ton of guys learning from our comments.
Just a quick note here. The next time a woman throws the “What are your intentions?” test your way I would rather you find a humorous way to turn the focus on her. You don’t have to avoid the question just have fun with it. This is a huge test women give men to guage their reaction. If you get defensive, she may think you’re up to something. If you won’t tell her she may believe you’re hiding something. If you give in too easily and try to demonstrate your intentions are only good she may feel like she can control you with tough questions like that. Which is usually not good for a lasting attraction.
Most guys think they have to fight off the test but there’s a much better way of passing it and staying the challenge by answering,
“I want the world and I want it now.”
“I intend to enjoy life to the fullest.”
Answering with a confident and funny statement about your intentions or what you want out of life is far more enjoyable to most women. Sure some of them get mad because you won’t answer her directly but it typically won’t destroy her attraction for you. In fact it actually can frustrate her just enough to literally turn her on.
Let’s put this all in perspective because I feel you’re losing control of the situation on some ends. I just feel at this pace if you end up in a relationship she may feel she has to lead. Which might be good for some women but in general it leads to relationship problems.
She got you to admit your feelings for her are relationship based.
She saw some jealousy in you. Even if you did not comment about the guys I’m sure she realized or sensed your jealousy. Which may even be her way of seeing how you react to her guy-friends. If she sees jealousy she knows you like her.
Here’s a huge thing men overlook when they’re dealing with an insecurity which causes jealousy…
A guy who is confident, stable, an alpha male, assumes any woman that is worth his time must be one hell of a woman. Meaning if you think she’s awesome then I can guarantee there are other men out there who will always want her too. They have to because you do and you’re a selective man.
So…always assume she’s dating other guys. Always assume she’s leaving her options open. But respect her integrity to her life as her own.
With that said you’re a confident stable man who knows what you want out of life. Remember those intentions I mentioned above to share with her. Well make sure those are real because they depict a big piece of your self-worth. Your values. You self-confidence
You have to trust your ability to meet, date, and keep a woman in demand. Which means to step up your qualification to a higher level than hers.
Her tests are qualifying you but that also means she likes you. The bigger the test, the harder ones she gives, means the more she likes you. No one wants to make the wrong decision. No one wants to fail in a relationship. She want to feel safe entering a relationship with you and does not want to invest all of herself without first understanding you’re the real deal. So she consciously or unconsciously tests you or qualifies you.
When she feels you’re qualifying her more and just as much she also has these feelings of,
“Wow. This guy is more selective than I am. And I think he likes me. I am a great catch.”
You see how you qualifying her more can actually boost the confidence she has in herself. When she’s confident and feeling strong she’s more likely to let down her guard and really open up to you.
Just remember at that point she’s looking for you to take the lead. She looking for you to step up and make the relationship decision. This takes the burden off of her and allows her to feel better about what is going to happen. Because you’re in charge. Above I mentioned how she may feel like she’s gaining control of you. Well that is screaming to her she might have to take the lead. And she does not want to do that. She can do that with any of those guys who are writing on her facebook wall.
She’s looking for the guy who is different. She’s looking for they guy that’s in control of himself and knows how to be a leader.
I’m running out of breath over here. Hahaha!
Screw those other guys your biggest competition will always be yourself. I learned that long ago.
Keep Qualifying her and challenging her.
Take the lead. Figure out what exactly what you want out of your life and do it. If she’s a part of it, step up.
Don’t play games of waiting to call to try and see if she likes you.
Assume you’re the best guy she has ever met and of course what women wouldn’t like you.
Assume if she’s hot and you want her, other guys will too. It’s unavoidable.
Trust your ability to be the alpha male and if you don’t feel that way, go to work on it immediately.
Her friends validated your social status. Very cool.
A woman who talks about having a wall up is more than likely telling you to take it down and make her feel comfortable. And guess what, most women have a wall up. That’s her persona you meet. When you’ve broken through the persona and she is still claiming to have a wall up, she saying, “Sweep me off my feet PLEASE!!!!!”
I hope that helped out and you’re welcome Tony. Again please keep me informed on the progress. Good luck to you.
P.s. ..and oh what’s her facebook handle? Hahaha! Just messing with you man.
hey Peter
i didnt message her today and she messaged me in Greek which is my second language saying she thinks im handsome ..lol
anyway yeh i think she knows im an alpha male… even though i told her.. but ur right i will keep what u said in mind..
i was going to fk around with her abit when she asked what my intentions are.. and say well i just want a fk buddy lol .. i kinda did say that and then she realised i was kidding..
so do u think by me saying that i haven’t met a girly like her in a long time and i said what do my intentions seem like .. without saying that they were good i referred to the time i spend with her should show my intentions.. so far so good but .. hopefully i keep it going ..
lol u want her facebook handle haha.. no fkn way .. with all ur smooth tricks u will cut my grass lol
Hi Peter, I’ve been seeing this girl for a month now, at first, she was really attracted to me, never declined my invitations and made a couple of investments in our budding relationship. She always avoided my gaze because I realized it made her blush (she’s the shy type)..after the second date, we had a long passionate kiss, after which I acted like it wasn’t a big deal. I didn’t contact her for about 2 days, within which she showed signs of loosing control over me, like sending me txt msg that she misses me and giving missed calls of which she quickly made excuses that they were sent due to an error on her phone (her phone is in good condition…lol) so the next time we met, I made a mistake and asked her to be the number one girl in my life…she immediately freaked out saying that she wasn’t ready for a relationship and that it was a no (she just got out of a terrible relationship months back) she brought all kinds of objections especially about me not saying anything about the kiss and insinuating that all I wanted was to have her and dump her. but her body language was saying “pls I don’t want you to go” I acted cool as if it didn’t bother me and she texted me later that night asking if we were cool..a few days later, we were supposed to hang out but she came late with a guy (I learnt had been chasing her for 2 years and she had friendzoned) saying she came to pick some of her stuffs from my room and that she couldn’t stay for long. I immediately knew it was a scheme to make me jealous out of my skin..lol. At this point I knew I had messed up but as an alpha male, I made up my mind to correct the mess..so I didn’t contact her for a few days. I started focusing on my other options and she got to know through one of my blackberry update…so she pinged me asking if I was home that she wanted to hang out but I told her I was tired and needed to rest so she said it was okay. Ever since, our relationship has been akward even though she still shows signs that she’s attracted to me but she kinda has a wall up now and is not as open as she used to be. I need to bring down those walls as fast as possible and bed her before its too late….pls I need help. tnx
Thanks for asking…. my advice is here:
http://www.dialteg.com/his-real-mistakes-were-not-knowing-being-alpha/
A+
Hi Pete,
I have a girlfriend whom I love very much and she says she loves me too. We talk all the time and she even feels really bad when I’m not talking to her. I give her everything from clothing to food and shelter and based on what I know and how I feel is that she loves me because she confesses that to me.
I love her so much and I just can’t imagine a life without her. Now, there is a problem. I realized that she has been so private with her phone for a couple of months now and I usually don’t touch it because I trust her.
Just a few days ago, I went to her facebook account and she was chatting to this guy. The guy was telling her that she loves her and she was just play along. The guy was telling her that he loves her. She was saying the guy told her that he had a wife and that how will the guy love her and the wife. The Conversation ended with “do you still love me” and my girlfriend answered yes. When the guy asked if she was serious, she said she was serious.
Do you think this is something that I should be worried about? Or is she too comfortable that she has started engaging in such like things? Or am I too nice that she’s taking advantage?
She tells me she loves me so much and even when I don’t reply her texts she gets mad and she’s always jealous when other girls talk to me.
I have decided to give her space but I don’t now if it’s the right thing to do
Please advice.
Hi Tom,
I would be worried because of what you wrote here, ” I give her everything from clothing to food and shelter”. Love and/or relationships must not be built this way. Obviously this could be a social custom thing but from my point of view, it’s not.
You see, sure women like the guy to show his love but also women like to know they can tend to themselves without men. It gives them a sense of self and it’s not something which can be given to them. They must earn it for themselves because it boosts their self-esteem and confidence and makes them (men too) feel valuable. With you giving her everything she could look elsewhere for some guy who won’t don’t what you do but makes her feel loved and good about herself.
You can’t trust the jealousy angle because in her position I’m sure she doesn’t want to give up what she already has and feels you’ll start giving to another woman and leave her with nothing.
Giving her space is normally a good thing (mostly) BUT I would start getting her out of the habit of relying on you for everything accept love and emotional support (when needed). How that’s going to happen might be beyond me because I’m not a relationship expert. I merely tell it like I see it for better or worse.
Aside from ALL of that and my suggestion to allow her to feel more valuable by attaining those things apart from you – IF you’re in a relationship with any woman and she’s telling a guy she loves him and he’s saying the same thing back AND she’s going along with it AND she’s doing that and more behind your back – then YES, there’s definitely something wrong.
Sorry,
Pete
Hey peter!
I’ve recently been talkig to this girl I found cute in college. I’ve tried the whol unpredictable approach and so far it’s been doing fine i guess.
Recently though, I surprised her with food (although I only did so because her dorm was on the way and I knew she was hungry) and it ended up with us going around campus on some sort of date. She ended up sharing how she didnt like relationships and what not and how she wanted to finish her studies which I perceived as just slme walls she puts up. What really got to me was how she said another guy who she rejected actually did the exact same thing I did. The only difference I guess was he did it all the time and she probably got bored. Anways long story short, I took her stargazing at a cliff which she found amazing and I told her that it was weird she was comparing me to that guy since my only intention was to get to know her (though I was lying a bit). She found me really nice and yeah i brought her back. What should be my approach from here on out? I know this probably will take a long time but I just cant afford to not see this through. Thanks!
Hey Gio,
Thanks for leaving a great question.
Consider everything below and please feel free to write back.
First – You “guess” it’s doing fine? 🙂 What are some clear indications that she feels attracted to you sexually? What have you been doing to create that immediately when you met her?
Second – I’m not sure what type of “unpredictable approach” you’re using. Based on what you told me you just surprised her with some food and she accepted the “date” OR she was just hungry and felt like since you’re paying, she’d happily accept it.
Third – I seen being “unpredictable” with women where it creates attraction is “Being different than most or all guys she has experienced before.” Which I believe is a profound difference. One works, the other doesn’t. If you want to be romantic and show her unpredictable romance, that’s cool but only AFTER you start dating her AND you’re absolutely clear she’s “beyond the physical” attracted to you.
ANY guy can predict a woman is going to be hungry. They normally like to eat. It just doesn’t create the same feelings as understanding how to make a woman FEEL something and doing so by stepping into the guy she’s been searching for.
Fourth – Stargazing on a cliff is cool. Of course depending how the interaction went during that time and you lead off as being a cool confident guy who is truly “different” that other guys like that guy she told you about.
Fifth – Don’t lie to a woman… ever. As the old saying goes – women ALWAYS find out because…
Six – You think you lied, she knows what is going on, she knows you like her, and now she doesn’t trust your real intentions. She either thinks you’re gaming her, just trying to get laid, or lastly want to date her and are willing to do ANYTHING to make it happen… which means she’s going to make you wait for it… IF it happens at all because…
Seventh – You said it yourself, this could take a while.
Eighth – I can not believe we made it to an 8th. Weird. Okay.. MOST women are ALWAYS looking for a relationship. ALWAYS. BUT until the right guy comes along she will not consider it and will willingly push guys away or allow them to chase them for as long as another guy doesn’t come along who makes her FEEL she wants a relationship with.
In other words the ONE guy who she feels helpless but to feel a deep attraction for.
Ninth – What to do next?
Tough one because I don’t know how this all started and how much you understand women and attraction and how the interaction went from the very beginning.
My guess is that your plan was to “wine and dine her” – “show her you’re a romantic guy” – “court her” much too early. You tried to show her you’d make a great provider or boyfriend first without considering or doing a second much more powerful approach which gives YOU the control.
Perfect timing because this has been a current topic here and on my newsletter. So read this and get back to me when you get a chance and we’ll talk:
https://www.dialteg.com/shes-not-looking-relationship-are-you-lover-provider/
Talk to you soon,
Pete
Hey pete!
Saw all your advice and I’ll take note of them and then some. I wasnt actually planning on courting her since our friendship is just about budding. I want to try and get close to her and be good friends first before anything. I dont really expect much let alone reciprocation although it would be nice if she eventually ends up woth me. Anyways I plan on also taking her out to unique activities and what not so that it wont be just the same old stuff she’s used to. Just wanted to ask once more how I can act more as a lover then a provider? Like what are slme examples? Your advice really hit me hard and I’m determined to follow them.
Thanks for everything!
Hey Gio,
The thing is “friends first” doesn’t normally work for women. There must be some attraction first. Sure some women fall for their friends but who is to say she wasn’t feeling it all along anyways.
The “lover” role often avoids normal means of courting. You’re not taking her to dinner, buying her gifts, or “trying” to be her friend. Instead (to be seen as a lover) you’re doing things and inviting her to have fun with you AND there’s a sexual edge, pure chemistry, flirting, attraction, etc… In other words you’re NOT doing things to get her to like or approve of you. That’s what a provider does. He tries to prove he’d make a “better mate” and leaves everything up to her to decide rather than having her react from the attraction she’s feeling.
To be considered a “lover” you must be composed. Patient. Exude pure real confidence. Be aware and not afraid to bring up sexual topics but also not having everything revolve around talking about it. You must have a real balance of topics.
Exact examples are tough to give because it’s a very broad subject. Just avoid doing those things which are considered “provider” roles as listed above. Then focus on maintaining the “lover” role and she will have no choice but to see you as one. Where it goes from there then become dependent on other things but starts with where you would like them to go.
I was always the provider. I tried to “romance” or “friend” women in to liking me. I acted all “lovey” to them. Tried to make them like me or feel something for me. I wanted to always be there for them even when they didn’t ask. I did things for them. Tried to surprise them with special gifts and such. I was always there for them at a moments notice. Which you can see, proves I’m a provider BUT misses the point of two people eventually hooking up… ATTRACTION.
Focus on doing the right things which create it FIRST which is what a “lover” does. She’ll figure out if you can also be a provider too on her own AND coming to that conclusion on her own is what she NEEDS to be completely into you.
The lover role is about you. Your confidence. Your body language. How you communicate to her in a way which different and exciting to her and sort of leaves her always wanting to more. It’s her growing emotional attachment to a guy which brings her to the next stage of a deep attraction.
Figure out where you’re failing and work on them first and very quickly you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. Start here for that list:
https://www.dialteg.com/seven-core-traits-naturally-attractive-man/
All the best,
Pete
hiiiii
Hello
I keep seeing articles that say things like ‘there has to be immediate attraction’, and ‘a woman knows in 7 seconds if she’s attracted to a guy’. The fact is, no woman is ever even slightly sexually attracted to me no matter how long we’ve been talking. I have lots of female friends, but there is never anything there except platonic friendship. I’ve asked several of them what it is about me (or not about me) that makes me sexually invisible, but none of them seem to know. I’m 38 and I’ve never even had one date (not one woman has ever agreed to go out with me on a date in my life) – and I’ve basically given up.