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Dating & Attraction For Men Who Want To Learn How To Attract Their Ideal Women Naturally

Top Ten Ways to Challenge Women to Feel Attracted to You

Do NOT leave challenging women to just getting lucky.

It doesn’t matter if you’re the laziest man or woman on earth EVERYONE is driven in their lives through challenges. This is great news for any guy who wishes to attract more women by challenging them the right way which either creates more attraction or builds on what is already there.

Today you’re going to learn exactly how to do it the RIGHT way so women get EXCITED by your unique challenge.

You’ll soon find you can easily drive up her feelings for you, get her qualifying herself to you, increase her desires towards you, and when done to perfection… have women CHASING you. This makes you the chooser or selector which means more choices of the type and quality of women you want to date.

Here’s the quick list and the links you can pop to but I STRONGLY suggest you read the intro below first:


Experiencing and living with a different mindset IF you want quicker results. Stay with me here…

Answer these questions in your head or write them down – How good are you at attracting women? How are your skills with women? Do you feel in control of your dating and relationships with women?

How does that make you FEEL?

I’m willing to bet you don’t feel like much of a challenge right now. You might even feel like shit. If you were to go out and start meeting some women right after answering those questions – you’d probably fail miserably because you’re not in a positive mindset. Far from it.

Now try on a NEW mindset taken directly from one of the best programs written to help guys just like you attract and challenge lots of women:

“How would you act if you knew that beyond the shadow of a doubt she was TOTALLY into you and wanted to be with you, but you weren’t that interested and decided to RELUCTANTLY give her a chance to hang out with you.”

Taken directly from Advanced Dating Techniques workbook page 36. That is an affiliate link to buy the program and NOT the actual workbook itself.

Did you do it? Hope so because it has a real purpose. If not please take the time to just IMAGINE it. Revel in it. Enjoy it. That’s your life and no more problems with women because now you’re IN CONTROL.

Totally different feel, isn’t it?

Okay, I realize it’s not real but you must also admit going out to meet and interact with women with either one of those mindsets or attitudes built in your head CAN and DOES make a difference on how you act around women.

One makes YOU a challenge to women, the other makes WOMEN the challenge to YOU.

Keep all this in mind as you go through these ten tips and understand your attitude and mindset can boost your level of success here AND increase the effectiveness of the tips given.

Secondly another quote,

“Most guys think they need to impress an attractive woman. They try to be on their best behavior and not make any mistakes or say something that will upset or offend her. This leads to nervousness, self-consciousness, and stilted behavior. It creates a tense, uncomfortable atmosphere, and destroys attraction.”

If you go into ANY interaction with a woman feeling like you need to impress her – this mindset will more often than not make you less than the challenge he’s looking for and your ACTIONS will show it.

As stated above: You’ll be overly nervous,  self-conscious, and your behavior will come from a lack of confidence. You will create a tense, uncomfortable atmosphere which will not only destroy attraction or stop it from happening, but will lessen the challenge you’re trying to create.

Here’s your NEW more attractive mindset.

You do NOT need to ever impress an attractive woman… EVER!


You can create the ultimate challenge for her by EXPECTING her to IMPRESS YOU!

That’s it. Easy stuff.

Two new attitudes. A whole new confidence. A real challenge:

  • Act as if you know that beyond the shadow of a doubt women are  TOTALLY into you and wanted to be with you, but you not that interested and decide to RELUCTANTLY give them a chance to hang out with you.
  • Act as if you’re not there to impress women, you’re there to give them a chance to IMPRESS YOU.

Let’s get to it…

Top Ten Ways to Challenge Women To Feel Attracted To You

Challenged Woman Attractive

“Women respond to a real challenge in two ways: They either give up (while sometimes trying and failing or by not trying at all ) OR they get EXCITED by it and rise up to the challenge.”

#1. Be interested in YOUR life more than before so women feel challenged to join you.

This is number one because it’s going to be extremely hard to challenge a woman IF you don’t like your life and you have little interest in yourself and where you’re going or what you’re doing.

The real secret for this to work its magic is the invitation to women to join you on your life quest. To want to be around you often – just in case something interesting happens.

Seriously if you don’t like your life (or even yourself) what women would want to join you in it – or worse yet, what type of women would want to be a part of it?

You must find a way to start enjoying your life as much as possible. When you’re having fun, naturally women will want to be a part of it and squeezing themselves in any way possible into your life becomes a real challenge to them.

Women rarely meet men who have a purpose, who are interested in themselves enough (without being self-centered) and who fully LIKE the life they’re living – which means they will go out of their way to BE or STAY close to you.

Here’s some more specific help to get you started in the right direction at DiaLteG TM:

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#2. Give her just enough space to wonder what you’re doing.

Let’s reword that… Create the perfect amount of space between you and any one or more women to allow them to wonder and imagine what you’re doing and/or how you’re feeling about them.

If it’s not obvious – needy, clingy, and desperate are attraction killers. There’s nothing less attractive than someone who follows you around all day and there’s less attraction towards someone where you know absolutely everything about them and where they are and what they do.

Space is good. Space creates a longing for something including another person. Space gives attraction and love room to grow or in some sad cases – fizzle out and die.

Space also creates a feeling of missing something which drives the attraction and adds to the challenge of removing some of that space. Think of something you really want right now (outside of women) and how far you’d have to go to get it. What’s between you and your goal or conquest or prize is only SPACE but that alone is probably enough to now make you want it even more.

Too much space is not good also. It’s hard to miss something you’re not emotionally attached to or even care about.

There’s a perfect balance here when created produces the greatest challenge.

Luckily for you, following #1. “Be interested in YOUR life more than before so women feel challenged to join you.” you’re already well on your way to creating the right amount of space because you’re busy. You have things going on. You have things to do AND you’re enjoying life.

Now all it takes is a woman to notice you’re not the needy clingy type whose life revolves around women and just getting laid and she’ll be challenged to close the gap between you and her.

This is a very important challenge because it encourages her to get closer while at the same time INCREASES YOUR VALUE:

  • Easy to get – low or no perceived value.
  • Hard to get – more perceived greater value to those who are trying to get it.

It’s a real no-brainer when you “think ” about it. (Did I just write a pun?!!!!)

How much space or when to create it is usually the most difficult part of creating this challenge. Some women need or want more, some less.

Space also just doesn’t mean distance. In fact it probably rarely does.

Sometimes it’s just a matter of assuring certain things are happening on your interactions with women.

Like when you’re a party and you give the opportunity to meet and talk to people without hesitation or any form of jealousy.

Other times it’s just making sure you are not meddling into her life and “letting” her follow her own passions and dreams without being judgmental.

You’ll also find it can just mean being a good listener while not offering advice or trying to solve all her problems. The space created here is that of freedom to open up to you AND give any FREEDOM to someone to do as they please – may be all the space they’ll ever need.

There are endless benefits and ways to give a woman the right amount of space to create a real challenge. Explore them all and you’ll soon see how well it actually works in getting women to feel more attraction for you.

Make sure you read this piece I wrote: The Difference Between Giving Her Space and Creating The Space Necessary so you’ll know the difference between creating the right space and giving it because they will have to opposite effects. One being good. One being bad.

If you’re a nice guy struggling with a needy desperate vibe, then read nice guy tip 18. It’s quite popular and very helpful: Give The Women You Are Attracted to…Space.

Things are going to get real interesting around here so make sure you pay attention the next items on the list… We’re going above and beyond yourself and into actual INTERACTIONS which creates the challenge. Something I know ALL of you are eager to learn.

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#3. Socially proofing yourself without playing mind games or the “Conversationally” Challenging approach.

Conversation Challenge Women

Trust me there are endless cheap tricks and sleazy tactics you can use BUT why bother. They don’t work as well and they’re superficial bullshit which only offer her to challenge WHO you are and when she does that leaves little room or time create attraction.

This one is very specific.

Most men offer way too much information and don’t challenge a woman to seek more OR they say things which doesn’t require her to want to dig deeper for that little extra bit you might not be revealing.

And that is BAD for attraction and offers no real challenge.

A conversational challenge while social proofing yourself, without the game playing, is just learning a new technique of story telling or withholding the right type of information while you’re talking to a woman. That’s it.

Social proof is simply allowing a woman to see for herself (without bragging, boasting, or showing off) what a great person you are and how people like you. Which of course includes other women.

When a woman realizes you’re already proofed, it challenges her to want to be a part of it and in a strange way trigger her competitive nature to win over your time and attention over OTHER women who she feels are not worth your time anyways.

Since this challenge – number 3 is not directly related to showing your “proofed” I’m not getting into the details of how you do that while not playing games,  it’s enough (for now) to just know WHAT it is and leave it there.

However – conversationally speaking, as mentioned earlier, way too many guys give out way too much unimportant irrelevant information which leaves no mystery or challenges her to want to know more details.

Here are two ways to start a story. Which one do you generally use BUT which one do you think works better to create social proof and mystery in her mind?

  1.  “My good friend Lisa and I were shopping and we…” OR
  2. “This woman I know, Lisa. fun girl, we were shopping…”

Got your answer? Good.

Notice the subtle difference between the two. The first one says you have a friend named Lisa (too much irrelevant info). The second leaves lots of room for thought. Both are beginning to tell the same story but they each have remarkable two different feels to them when a woman interprets them in her head.

The difference is to omit things which are not important to the story and are irrelevant. Does it matter that Lisa is your friend? Nope. Does she need to know any more than that? Nope.

What IS important is that we know this fun girl and had a humorous experience with her and we wanted to share it at a relevant time.

Which actually is better story telling anyways

This challenge is quite simple but does require practice.

The technique also does something else: It shows we’r not trying to show off just become we know some girl. It also steers from the angle of jealousy some men might try to use. That CAN work but it’s NOT my nice guy approach.

I understand this example sounds trivial but think about your conversations with women, think about all the extra info you’re giving out which do nothing to create or build an attractive challenge. You’ll soon realize how just a few small tweaks in how you talk to women makes a huge difference here.

The proof is, we have fun friends. We do fun things. We have stories to share. We KNOW women who may or not be sexually attracted to us and that is all left for her to think about later. She can imagine whatever she wants and if she wants more details – she will ask.

The point to all this is “challenging” becomes clear when we start to put together what is covered so far:

  • You’re enjoying our life.
  • You’re having fun outside of women.
  • You’re not needy or judgmental.
  • You’ve created some space to allow things to grow and develop.
  • You’re proofed by other woman.We’re proofed by other women.
  • You’re conveying it all  through positive communication without trying to appear over-confident.
  • You’re challenging her attraction and communicating charm, wit, and an ability to talk. Something all women put high value on.

Since we might find ourselves talking about about other women AND she has a little  interest she’s very likely going to wonder who they are and possibly start to ask a lot of questions…

Which leads us to number four the list…

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#4. Do not answer every question she asks too directly or even with the actual truth.

When women are “feeling” it for you and you’re challenging them attractively they WILL ask lots of questions. Which is good because it means they’re showing a lot of interest in you.

This gives you the opportunity to really turn up our charm, flirt, and challenge her to want to know even more.

Common questions include what you do for a living, how old you are, if you’ve ever been married, do you have kids, what you do for fun, and lots of questions which can get a little personal.

Okay, I’m NOT telling you to lie to women and as long as you do it with a good spin of humor and in all good gun – then it’s absolutely fine to mess with your answers.

You actually want to make he wonder if you’re actually telling the truth and if your answers are that absurd,  no woman in her right mind will seriously believe it… sort of.

Here are examples:

What do you do for a living?  “I eat, I breathe, I sleep…. you know the basic survival stuff. I’m not really one of those nuts who keeps a shelter under my house waiting for the apocalypse – but I do practice the basic survival skills.”

Where do you come from? “My Mom. She’s great. Carried me the whole nine months too. Maybe someday I’ll introduce you to her. She likes girls who asks lots of questions and who are interested in where baby’s come from.”

Have you ever been married? “Three – wait – no four times – Hahaha!!! I almost forget about the second marriage. I tell you NEVER get drunk in Las Vegas because anything you DO do there – definitely does NOT stay there.”

Do you have any children? “15! No lie. It’s a wonder I can even get out of the house. Luckily they stay mostly in a cubby hole I have. They’re good kids though. Just feed them once in a while and they seem happy.”

What do you for fun? “Sex. Lots of hot don’t care who I’m fucking man or woman sex. Probably should be in some sexual anonymous group but never make it there because something always comes up.”

Those are just a few examples which hopefully you’re getting the point.

Just be careful and don’t overuse it.  This is just a spice to add to your conversations and the basis of it. Women can tire quickly of a guy who won’t give her a straight answers.

The idea is to have fun with it all.

Use answers which could not possibly be true.

Make sure you do it straight faced or dead pan. It works better that way.

Make sure she’s laughing with you.

Challenge her to STEP up her line of questioning and work a little for the answers and most real women will gladly oblige and go along with it.

This is a wonderful way to gauge how down to earth she is and good of a sense of humor she has AND you’ll find lots of women will play right along with you and feed the outlandish stories themselves.

Done right – they love it.

Not answering her directly is a great way to have some fun interesting conversations with women so she sees you’re unlike most guys she talks to – hence it challenges her to want more.

This is also a slightly varied version on what is called cocky/comedy. Something I learned from David DeAngelo. When I added it to ALL my conversations with women the results were instantly, yes, INSTANTLY amazed.

For more ways to spice up your conversations with women read this article I wrote: Do Women Think You’re Too Predictable? Here’s How To Change Her Mind. There’s a little there on flirting, cocky comedy, story telling,  how to ask and answer her many questions and some great leads on how to talk your way into attracting women.

It must be said – if you really want to challenge women – the easiest most effective way is through your conversations with her.

On that note GET THIS: Cocky Comedy. Worth every penny and straight from David D himself so you know it’s good.

Trust when I say you’ll be more than satisfied how well those routines work because they convey so much:  Humor – Confidence – Intelligence – Wit – Charm and yes even more. It’s such good stuff here’s the link again:

Cocky Comedy – Word-for-word Scripts For Making Women Laugh Proven Tips And Tools For Sparking ATTRACTION.

On to the next challenge…

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#5. Show some genuine interest in her and give her the right reasons to miss you.

Woman Enjoying Missing Seeing

It may go against the common beliefs others tell you about attracting women. How you have to illusive. How you have to play hard to get. How she must think you don’t want if you want her to feel attracted to you BUT…

I’m going to tell you flat-out: They’re all wrong IF you want to challenge a woman AND if you want a real woman who’s not only interested in guys who act this way on purpose.

In many of my experiences and conversations with women they’ve told me how they get dejected or felt rejected after meeting a guy because he acted uninterested in her and her life.

Don’t make that mistake. You’ll miss countless opportunities because you’ll for one, make women feel unwanted and unattractive; and two because they just won’t give a shit about you. You won’t be challenging her at all. You’ll just be rejecting her and she’ll move on quickly to a guy who at least SHOWS some real interest in her.

If you want to truly challenge a woman you MUST show some level of interest which is easy to do if you’re totally into her so be careful. Just don’t lay it on too thick. Don’t go all needy and clingy on her or you’ll have the opposite effect.

The point or this challenge is highlighted below:

“I balanced just enough mystery about what I was doing when Alicia wasn’t there, with just enough BEING THERE for her to get that girl to like me more than any other guy she knew.

The standard Pickup logic may not support this, but I’m here to tell you that if a person is exposed to your presence regularly enough (but not to extremes), they will start to miss you when you’re not around, and they will feel a burning attraction begin to build for you.

Again, this has to be done with the right method and in the right intensity, otherwise it will fizzle out into “friendship” territory.”

How to Get a Girl to Like You – The 3 Laws of Attracting Women

You looking for a good balance between doing things you love, living your life, showing interest in yourself AND doing things with her and sowing interest in her.

Most guys push being with her too much, and some don’t show much interest because they’re worried – but that balance doesn’t work.

For a woman to miss you she has to have a good reason to want to see you. Giving her a taste of yourself and then sort of taking it away for a short period challenges her mind and body to want to have more of you.

Let’s go to another piece of David D’s work in his Double Your Dating Ebook and special: (Of course I’m not 100% positive it came from there. It was either that or his Meeting Women Online series. Sorry if there’s some confusion. It was something I wrote in my personal journal when I was going through his stuff. Found it in my newsletter archives here.)

How do you make someone want something?

  • Tell them they can’t have it.
  • Give value to it.
  • Make it scarce.
  • Connect it to something else they want.
  • Make it beneficial.
  • Make them work for it.
  • Prove that other people want it also.
  • Make it a challenge.

Double Your Dating Ebook

You’ll hopefully notice how that list contains so much of what is covered today including “make it challenge”.

It fits perfectly on this challenge #5 because you can NOT achieve any of those items without giving it a little first.

Consider to truly create a challenge you’re like the “less annoying” version of those people who give out samples of things to taste at the market.

Give her a taste of you, just enough to challenge her to want and desire the whole thing.

This naturally leads to challenge number 6…

#6. Show or give her a little mystery and challenge her to “figure you out”.

There’s quite a long and extensive post I’ve written on this subject which can not be done right in this short segment.

I suggest you read the entire thing because the number reason why women fall for quiet mysterious guys is because he is the ULTIMATE CHALLENGE:

“He is the ultimate challenge… Physically, Mentally, and Emotionally.

When a woman picks up a mystery novel or watches a show which combines mystery and excitement, it’s easy to see how she gets hook on it..

If he is a little mentally coy – flirts casually, hold backs some information, won’t give her a clear direct answer sometimes, he challenges her mentally to get it out of him. When done the right way – it can be a lot of fun to her thus driving up her attraction.

First, she can’t help but to wonder what’s going on inside his head – more mystery – it entices her to get things out of him which he won’t share with another woman. Triggering her competitive drive.

Second – it shows strength beyond what she might feel comfortable about in herself. Meaning he appears stronger than her.

Third – it proves to her without a doubt he is in complete control and can handle adversity sometimes again, better than her.

One of the most attractive features of this challenge is the added pressure (with sometimes frustrated outbursts by her) by the mere fact he’s not a book, or show – she can NOT just look or peak to the ending. Although part of her really wants to, the other part (her female nature) is enjoying it way too much. No matter how badly she wants to know, the thrill and excitement outweighs everything else.

It’s entirely way too easy for a woman to get literally obsessed over a guy who challenges her on all three of these levels. If things don’t progress and the challenge remains along with the mystery, the quietness, and the excitement, she could go years thinking and over-thinking about it without even ever having been with guy.”

7 Reasons Why Women Like Quiet and Mysterious Men

Start becoming just a little mysterious and you WILL challenge a woman on every level conceivable.

On to number 7…

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#7. Tease her often (the right way) in every way possible.

Nothing is more challenging and fun to a woman than being teased. It brings out her youthful sexual urges (no matter how old she is) and it challenges her to want to play along with you.

It can be something silly like busting her ass when she does something stupid but funny – it can be fun as in playing “keep away” with someone she asks you to get for her – AND it can also be creating the right amount of  tension and teasing to engage her sexual desires.

You don’t even have to choose one.

Do them all!

Just make sure you follow the rules,  do it right and you will be challenging her.

The wrong way centers around you acting like a dick, making fun of her in a way which is offensive, going above and beyond sexual frustration as if her body is something you have a right to play a game with… the wrong way leads nowhere and any decent woman will throw you to the curb quickly if you even try it on her.

Trust women are smart enough to figure out the difference. Trust women are clever enough to figure out what you’re doing. Trust ANY for of teasing DOES create a real challenge for her AND it’s a lot of fun which often leads to real actual physical interactions between you and her. IF that’s what you want.

Once again this is a very large subject so I’ll pass you on to some more specific help so you can fully understand what teasing is, how it’s done right, and when and how often you should do it.

“Don’t be insulting. Be TEASING. Teasing is done with a tongue-in-cheek sense of humor. You kid with her. If you make fun of her in a mean or malicious way, you’re out. If you don’t let her know you’re kidding, you’re out.

The point of all this is to: Get her laughing AND  Challenge her (by demonstrating Self-confidence and that you’re DIFFERENT.)”

The Tease to Please Approach – Challenging Women

The challenge here is that you’re creating a natural anticipation. A preview of more to come. Sexually or not it entices a woman to want more and more more… you get the picture.

Done right you’ll see things from a woman you might have not experienced before – her voice will change – she’ll get goosebumps – she’ll begin to chatter nervously – it’s something absolutely amazing and exciting to be a part of especially if you’re the one causing it to happen.

AND it’s a real challenge to her that few guys know how to do right.

Yes, it’s a beginning to seducing a woman, at least the sexual form, so make sure you know HOW to seduce her so you don’t leave her hanging so much you don’t even get to sleep with her. That would NOT be a good thing.

Let’s move on…

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#8. Challenge her competitive drive to win.

Competitive Challenge Game

Time to play some REAL games with her. Not the player moves bullshit but actual games which will naturally bring out her competitive drive.

Believe it or not – women LIKE to women. They LOVE to compete. They absolutely enjoy sparing with a guy in any game which they think is fun. Obviously you’ll have to figure out which games she enjoys first or better yet, teach her something new you think she’d like.

This is an EASY challenge because it’s built right into it.

This a also a great challenge because it can be a physical thing which often leads to, of course, physical bonding.

Here are just a few:

  • Pool or Billiards
  • Darts
  • Basketball
  • Golf
  • Tennis
  • Paint ball
  • Shooting Range or Skeet
  • Go Kart racing
  • Four wheeling – not a game but works the same
  • Wind surfing – again, not a game but works
  • Snow Mobiles – same as above
  • Jet Skiing – same as above
  • A Snow ball fight
  • and YES, lots of women these days do play video games which makes a perfect in-house game leading to getting closer to her. Just be sure the video game part isn’t the highlight of your gaming repertoire.
  • Any game you can play one on one works the best.

*Feel free to add some of your game suggestions in the comment section*

Okay, just to be clear, I’m not talking about fun party games with  your friends, board games, cards, or anything couples get together with other couples to make an evening enjoyable. Don’t get me wrong, they have their place but when it comes to single people playing against each other, you must choose your game to fit the mood.

Choose a real physical game over sitting around doing nothing because it gets the heart rate up. There’s a certain closeness and bonding created also.

Choose a fun lively game over some boring trivial thing so once again, there’s some real movement involved in it.

Please be sure yo’re not a sore loser and do NOT let her win just because you want to get in her pants. There’s no need to turn a fun competition into something too trivial or pointless to wine AND there’s no need to turn a little fun into the pressure of the freaking super bowl.

This is a relatively easy challenge and it WORKS so do not dismiss it. Use it often. Have fun and enjoy!

Women are highly competitive so why not use that angle to create a wonderful fun and exciting challenge and give her even one more reason to want to be with you on any given day you’re available.

Here’s helpful tip which works amazing well.

Link the game playing up to a date.

Turn any seemingly non-competitive thing into a fun competition. If you’re hiking, first one up there wins. If you’re swimming – who can do a lap the fastest – if you’re at a carnival – see if she can win YOU something.

You can also turn something non-competitive into a bet. “I bet you can do this…”  OR “I bet you something if you can do this or stop me from doing that.”

Raise the stakes a little and throw in some real consequences for winning and losing which will make the transition to getting physical with her natural and fun.

This stuff is easy so have fun with it.

Next up… the last two are a little different.

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#9. Challenge yourself and women will want to join you.

This one is about challenging her in ways not many men can do which is just one reason why it works so well.

This  means to challenge her in a way lots of men can’t.

Scot McKay put it best in this quote:

“Here’s your challenge.  From now on, be Murphy’s Law.

When you see that great woman online, envision all the other guys out there puzzling over what to write her. You may even visualize all the other “Mr. Nice Guy” or “Mr. Creepy Guy” emails flooding her inbox.

Then, without hesitation, read that woman’s profile, find what catches your eye about it, challenge her with a creative first e-mail…and expect results.

Be the guy who enthralls her enough to make her want to hide her profile for now–even as other guys are yet in mid-sentence typing to her.”

A little of the beaten path but he has a good point.

If you take life and see life as a fun challenge and always strive for more for yourself and those around you… YOU become a natural challenge to others AND you will challenge them to join you.

Your mood or how you face life rubs off on others. Moods are catchy. Being fun and positive about things and you’ll make others feel the same way when they’re with you.

This is the point of this challenge and it can be used any way you want as long as you enjoy being challenged and truly immerse yourself into answering and rising up to any challenge. Yes, this can even includes learning the skill of attracting women.

Take a pissed off guy who thinks the world is out to get him, he’s always negative and avoids confrontation and challenges – NOBODY wants to be around that guy and if they do – it’s because they’re thriving off of his negative attitude to validate their own.

BE inspiring to others by living your life with inspiration and you’ll quickly notice how many women want that type of excitement and drive in their life.

Be positive.

Look at the brighter side of things.

Face any obstacle head on.

Strive to always learn and grow and BE that person you want to be.

Your attitude is so easily transferred on to other people so why not use this as an advantage when comes to being a real challenge to women. Especially because it doesn’t have to big, the small things add up.

Okay  – lastly let’s get to number 10… my most controversial, well I suppose odd one to date… but hear me out.

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#10. Reject any woman you don’t want quickly and honestly.

You may be asking HOW does this challenge a woman and you every right to ask because it’s a little difficult to see.

Think about what type of guy you are when you leave a woman on the hook…

Think about what type of guy stays with one woman while waiting for someone better to come along…

Think about a guy who is so afraid of rejecting a woman he lies to her just to make himself feel better…

Think about a guy who would rather cheat on his girlfriend than just to end it first before he sleeps with someone else…

What you see from all those men is not really a challenge to women, is he? Apparently he’ll hook with up anyone to avoid being single and alone. And that’s just the tip of it.

On the other end – rejecting a woman the right way, honestly and quickly, without being an ass about says a lot about a man’s character. It also shows and proves to himself he has a st of standards which he is not willing to compromise.

When you hold high standards for yourself it shows women (even if they don’t see it) then you ARE a challenge and if and when she “gets you” she knows without any doubt in her mind – you like or love her, depending on how you feel of course.

Women sense your character even if they don’t see the things you’re doing to create it. This is what they’ll get from you:

  • You have solid decision making skills.
  • You have clear goals and a desire to reach them.
  • You have strength of character and high moral values.
  • You have empathy towards others.
  • You’re a man with choices who weighs his options.
  • You’re not a guy to settle with second best.
  • You don’t enjoy wasting other people’s time.
  • You’re happy with yourself and okay being single… for now.
  • … and the list can go on.

When a woman meets a guy who has those qualities it becomes a special event for her because let’s face it, not many men or women possess those qualities. Thus making YOU a real challenge to her.

A lot of that comes along with knowing when and how to reject a woman. It’s not all a matter or turning down women just to boost yourself or make yourself look better…

It’s because ONLY a certain type of guy will naturally do it. Which proves without a doubt the type of guy you are, is actually you and not some guy doing things just to make yourself look better.

Rejecting a woman the right way is easy – just do it with empathy, understanding, and imagine if it was you being rejected – how you would like it to be done. The point is too to get it done quickly and honestly.

If you’re considering breaking up with a woman or you’re want to know HOW it should happen, read this: Breaking Up Like A Man. it’s a .pdf file and it’s filled with lots of great stuff but the one take away is: Make sure you leave her better off than when you started. Plus it will help you to not commit when you’re not ready for it which again, proves you’re a great challenge to women. 


People (men AND women), respond to a real challenge in two ways: They either give up (while sometimes trying and failing or by not trying at all ) OR they get EXCITED by it and rise up to the challenge.

With that said…

Women do NOT want to be GIVEN their next lover, boyfriend, or casual date without any real challenge.

They value something more when they have to work for it and this includes all personal relationships.

You can easily reach a higher deeper level of attraction when you learn all the ways to challenge a woman.

You can become a natural “man commodity” to women by giving her the most fun creative challenge of her life and she’ll thank you for it.

These challenges work the best by not pretending or playing mind games with women and just setting it up naturally to happen which is something I’ve hopefully covered in depth today.

This was a real “challenging” article to write and I do sincerely hope  you’ve found it to be useful in your life and helps you to succeed in many more ways than just attracting women.

All the best…

(Back to list)

About the author: Peter White – I can help you find, meet, and attract your ideal woman for a real relationship. Live your life the way you want to with purpose and fun. Build a mindset that is free and positive. Learn the truths about attraction. When you can do that – the woman of YOUR CHOICE will gladly join you.

38 comments… add one
  • nazmessi

    I have a problem.I like this girl but i don’t know how to start….and since we both student,we have our own life….i have no reason to meet her,talk to her and so on….i hate to see my friends got girlfriend while i’m not…so,hopefully u can help me solve the problem…

  • Contact me personally Nazmessi and tell me a little more about your situation….


    You always have a reason for meeting a girl you might be interested in. Always keep in mind though until you actually get to know her, that’s as far as your feelings should go. You just don’t someone from sight or from friends so there’s really no pressure at all.

  • Challenger

    I recently hooked up with my neighbor. I really like her. We have been sleeping together for a month now and are just about to take the next step. She told my kids she was my girlfriend and I do like her like that. The thing is I like her to much. I am scared that I am being to nice to her. And don’t want to crowd her or hover over her. I don’t want to get into the comfort mode. Last night I told her I loved her and I don’t know if that was a huge mistake or not. She did say she loved me also. But I still want to challenge her. I don’t want her to think the game is over. But because we live right next door to each other I am afraid she wont miss me or stay curious. How am I to be mysterious in a challenging way to make her continue to want me without making her think I am up to something wrong or I don’t like her. Cause truth is I am crazy about her. And to make things worse her Grandma died this morning. I told her I was here for her if she needs me. Should I go to her place and hug her and tell her I am sorry. Or should I just sit back and keep my distance in this time of sorrow? I hope you get back to me. Thanks

    • Thanks Challenger.

      My best assessment of you situation is you’ve already attracted her, she already said she loves, I would keep doing whatever you’ve being doing because it worked. The idea is not to become too predictable at this point. Don’t go switching directions on her because you will just confuse her and make her wonder if what you said was genuine.

      It sounds like you’re a little scared of screwing things up with her so you definitely need to get yourself away from this fear as far as possible. She already has assumed she’s your girlfriend so again, what you’re doing has worked well.

      It also sounds like in your situation, with the kids and all, she’s not looking for the greatest challenge of her life. And in the words of Carlos which I just heard coincidently, “Men screw it up when they get the girl and then try to keep her happy. They start acting differently to keep her and this does not work. The only thing you have to remember is keep her attracted to you and she will be happy. ” Paraphrased of course.

      Below is a few videos he just released. There are not that long and I think you’ll find at least half or may be even more of what you will relate to with regards to your questions. In fact I think you’ll find them right on in your situation. I apologize because I know they are a tease but again, you will learn something from them.

      Girlfriend Training Sign Up

      In the first one you’re going to hear him telling you that what you used to get her, will not work to keep her. Please do not think that is exactly what I was talking about above. Most guys screw it up here because they believe what attracted her was his pick up or his ability to bring her close with his cocky/funny attitude. That may draw her in to learn more but what’s going to get her closer is being a strong man who takes charge in his life. Not hers. But his. His confidence. His masculinity. His mature ability to maintain a wonderfully exciting family life.

      And that is what she is really attracted to in the end. And that is what you should not stop doing. Don’t just start kissing her ass because you feel you’re going to lose her. Unpredictable sparingly used romance is okay now but she wants the man she fell in love with. As long as you were a challenge in the first place she believes she got you and so will continually test you on those levels. She wants to know you’re strong enough to stay the course and not back down from being the strong man she fell in love with.

      Now she already knows you’re attracted to her. She already knows you love her. But relationships are a two way street. You should be thinking she has to keep you around. That’s how you stay that challenge.

      I’m a firm believer the best relationships are built by two complete people who have found someone to enhance their lives. If you stay away from trying to complete her and just enhance her life she will feel independent no matter how close she lives by. Vice versa that strong man in you should expect the same from her. If she continually tries to complete you challenge her on it and demand nicely you are a complete man and just want someone to enhance your life.

      About her grandmother:
      Just keep reassuring her she has a shoulder to cry on when she needs it and be there when she hints she needs it. That’s all you can really do in that situation.

      I hope I’ve helped you a little and feel free to write me back. I will get back as quickly as I can.

      Good luck. I hope you get to experience a wonderful fulfilling relationship,


      • In the world of relationships women do want stability which can be a little predictable but try to think of it more as just that, stability. You can be unpredictable during romance, intercourse, and the things you do together to keep things fun and exciting. Remember as I’ve said so many times before it’s about having fun.

        You might run into a space issue because you do live next door to each other but you know you can use this to your advantage. You can call her up one day, instead of going over to her and play a little. Tell her all about this new neighbor you’ve met recently that really turns you on. Tell her one day you plan on building a tunnel between the two of you so you can see each other more often. Jokingly of course. Call her up and tell her you wished you two lived closer because the distance is getting to you. There’s a never ending sequence of flirts you can use here.

        Try not to confuse getting comfortable with being needy. Again being comfortable in a relationship is very important. When it starts to feel like work or you find yourself working too hard to give her space she’ll fell you pushing away and this is not the confusion that helps a relationship.

        Comfort is good, neediness is not.

  • maheedhar

    to the point wow mind blowing article extraordinaire
    1000x better than shit those puas teach
    keep em comin

    • I appreciated the comment so much I felt I would add number 11 to the list. Be careful with this one because you could piss her off entirely too much. Challenge her by challenging her to be who she is.

      Let’s say you meet this girl and her persona is rock solid. She won’t budge. Maybe she’s afraid because she’s been hurt in the past. Or maybe she’s just so shy about who she is. Whatever her reasons why, challenge her to stop playing this role she plays for all the average guys, and start playing up to your level.

      I’m not going to say this is easy but there are some great women who put up huge barriers. Once they are broken down you’ll be amazed at what is underneath. Just don’t go screwing it up by constantly telling others who she really is. Saying something like,

      “You just don’t know her the way I do.”,

      Is one way to start screwing it up.

      You can call her out by making her laugh about herself.
      You can sometimes open her up by being persistent and patient. No matter how she acts don’t let it get to you. Stay calm.
      Don’t throw opposites at her, that’s what everyone else does. “Are you always this happy?” is not good. “What girl stepped on your balls today?” is better.

      I believe the whole theme behind this challenge is maturity, not consoling her, and letting her believe whatever she wants to believe about you or herself. Don’t try to change her or her beliefs, or even her mood too much. Keep up the confident attitude, ignore most of her rudeness, and stay indifferent.

      Thanks again it’s great to hear you enjoyed the post,


  • LonelyPineapple

    I have this problem whenever I’m talking to a girl that I like. The girl might say something like, “I’m so dumb” or “I’m terrible at this” just to get me to compliment her. I don’t want to tell her that she’s not dumb or that she’ll get better over time, because I’ll seem like I’m desperate to compliment her and be a yesman. If I agree with her, it will seem mean. What should I do? Btw, I’m in highschool if that helps.

    • I like this question. Thanks for asking.

      A rule you never want to break here is… Never be too critical abut her. Don’t make her feel like shit.

      Most women in this situation are looking for support only. Don’t console her, just support her. That way you don’t have to disagree with her and be the yes man.

      Try to keep the interaction in context. I’m assuming you’re not in a committed relationship with her so don’t act like you are. Once you’re there you’ll know when it’s time to back down and give her props for trying. Trying only. Women don’t want to figure out their lives or live it for them.

      I would normally bust her ass a little about it but that’s the tone I set from the beginning. My attitude clearly states,
      “If you want to be around me, expect to have fun and expect me to tease you. If you can’t handle it I probably won’t like you anyways.”

      “I’m terrible at this.” ~ “Yes you are. Haha!”
      “I’m so dumb.” ~ “It’s okay. I won’t tell anyone. Your secret’s safe with me.”
      “I’m terrible at this.” ~ “You know I dated a girl last year who couldn’t get this right either. I had to break it off with her. I told her there’s no way I could be seen with a girl that can not ——” (smirking of course)

      Just make sure whatever you say, she smiles a little and don’t be afraid to bust on her for it.

      Set that tone immediately and you won’t have to worry about what to say.

      If you want something that works well, learn this:

      “I’m so dumb.” ~
      “Awwww are you trying to get a hug from me? How cute.”

      As far as I’m concerned the response above works the best consistently in all types of situations. You may have to think of responses but once you practice them a little they will come more naturally.

      The formula is to turn it around and accuse her of using the situation to get you.

      Good luck man and thanks for asking,

  • maximume

    there is this lady i am interested in started out just chatting online then she was wondering when i was gonan ask her if i can call her..we have talked a couple times on the phone,but no sure how to take her and if she is interested or not.she tells me things about her,things she doesnt like in a guy.and she talks as though she is flirting with me at times.i like her but dont want to over do it and scare her off..

    • Hey man,
      As long as you’re not pushy, rude, obnoxious, or freak out if she refuses to give you her number, or meet her, don’t worry about scaring her off. It’s a natural progression to go from internet to phone to meeting and women understand it. She may even expect it and when you don’t ask she’ll begin to wonder what is really up with you, or if YOU’RE interested in her. You’re more than likely to scare her off by not leading her through those steps.

      I have found the best results, (not guaranteed but that depends on too many variables,) is to:

      1. Always assume she must be interested in a great guy like you. (You’re the challenge!)
      2. Never ask if you can call her, tell her to call you because you have a wonderful voice she has to hear. (Challenge her to call you.)
      3. Don’t look to clues to figure out if she is flirting with you, flirt with her immediately. (Set a challenging tone to the interaction.)
      4. When she mentions too much about what she doesn’t like about some guys, casually joke with her about it, “Oops I’m that type of guy.”) (Challenge her to figure you out.)
      5. Always assume she must be interested in a great guy like you. (Yes I repeated this for a reason.)

      You will over do it if you revolve your life around hers quickly.
      You will over do it if you impose yourself into her life too quickly.
      You will over do it if she senses a lack of confidence and yet you keep trying to prove you are confident.
      You will over do it if you concern yourself too much with liking her and worry too much about her liking you back.

      Otherwise don’t stress over it too much. Even if you screw the interaction up completely, understand you can learn from it.

      Hope that helps you out a little,

  • maximume01

    well,she actually hinted around about texting on cell,and she actually did call me.but seems like she will do this for awhile then stop.then start again..she seems kind of hard to read.she tells me what she doesnt like for sure.but normally just general talk and a few laughs on the phone.i dont quite know how to read her.she seems to keep herself locked up to a point..i guess ill just have to wait and see aproach and see what happens..i wont text or call her for a couple days and see if she gets a hold of me.no i dont want to be pushy and rush her.

    • If it was that easy to be a challenge ,
      “i wont text or call her for a couple days and see if she gets a hold of me. no i dont want to be pushy and rush her.”
      What would women have to work for? Why would they want it?

      A naturally challenging man never has to worry about being pushy or rushing a woman, and he never has to worry about reading her.

      What you may see as a hint she may have seen as a blatant cue for you to take the lead.

      You see you just don’t know and you’ll waste your time and energy figuring her out. No woman, as far as I’m concerned is that tough to read, when you approach what attraction is really all about from a different perspective.

      If I were to ask you to follow me and I refuse to tell you where we were going, BUT you were having a good time, would you follow my lead?

      You probably would. Especially if there was an attraction.

      What I am hearing you say is that you’ve decided to follow her lead. She confuses you and you can’t figure her out. She calls often but at random intervals. She’s not seemingly pushing you, so you don’t want to push back. You are now attempting to play her lead and that is just not a challenge. By now the feelings she had for you has probably diminished considerably. I know it’s tough to hear but I’ve been through many “tough to hear” things in my life. From the right perspective I learned to continually think different.

      Read the statement above again but replace a few words to gain a new perspective.

      If I were to ask you to follow me and I refuse to tell you where we were going, BUT you were having a good time, would you follow my lead?

      Follow me. We’ll have fun. Who knows where we’ll end up. I’m not telling. You’re so impatient. Haha!

      That is what she wants from you. Most women I know lock a ton out and they won’t even give you the key, until you demonstrate to her you are a challenge she can not get enough. And even then you just don’t know.

      But why would you want to?

      Aren’t you looking for a challenge yourself?

      I bet you are so stop worrying about why she is doing things and start sharing fun at a schedule that depicts a man who won’t just follow her lead. A man who takes his own lead in his life.

  • Jon

    Love the advice man. I like how you went deep into the communication aspect that comes with the “rules”

    • Thanks Jon. Communication is such a major piece of attraction. How we communicate (in a way) determines how another interprets what we say. Or in this case how it attracts others.

  • adm

    there is this girl that i think is interesting and very pretty and i want to tell her how i feel about her should i just do it, even though it says in the article not to??

    • Personally I would not reveal your feelings too early unless she has made it clear to you how she feels. Clear in this case would be actually telling you directly. I feel this is one of the most common dilemmas men everywhere suffer from. The need to tell.

      I know, wouldn’t it be nice if we could just all be upfront about our feelings and be done with all the game playing. Because that’s what I thought before too. But that’s just not the case.

      Telling her is only going to do one of two things…

      1. Make her realize you’re definitely into her and if she feels attracted back it could work out. Although the mystery is now gone.
      2. Make her realize you like her and if she doesn’t feel the same way back she will only feel less attracted to you. And you’re instantly in the friend’s zone.

      If you want to take the chance go ahead but you must read this first…

      You can decide to constantly qualify her and build the attraction which will invariably lead to her either feeling more attracted to you, and/or you realizing she’s not for you after all. Sure she could just not feel it for you. It happens. But telling her won’t change her mind. Telling her won’t make her instantly feel attracted to you.

      Telling her in a way only tells her you don’t feel good enough for her. Guys with real confidence never tell not because they are playing games, but because they are secure enough to know what they’re doing is working. It may not work with everyone. But it does work.

      Guys who feel a need to reveal their feelings are typically looking for validation. They need to know if she likes him back and they feel the only way to keep her, get her, or to have her reveal her feelings, is to tell her. And I wouldn’t know about it so much if I didn’t do it myself many times. And each time it only reassured that her feelings for me were only on a friendship basis.

      Thanks for the question and please let me know if you have any more or want to reveal a little more about your situation,

  • Tony

    Hi just a quick question , i have been seeing this girl the past month and weve met up 4-5 times , dinner, movies.. i took her for a massage,, and we went for a few beach walks ,,, weve kissed and i sent her a poem about the first time i met her and i regret it .. she said that im a very hard person to read and she doesnt know what im thinking ,,, so i said that im not one to say too much im more of an action man rather than a words… anyway i said to her that im still getting to know her and i like her so far .. and only time will tell is that wrong? like do i seem desperate .. and also shes a har dnut because im always initiating calls and sms ,, but she always replies and wants to meet me if i ask she even wanted to go fishing when i told her i went with my friendsa.. i am going to ask her to go bowling this week.. so far does it sound like i fucked up by saying that im still getting to know her but i like what i see so far and also the poem i gace her… its not mushy its kinda funny but sweet she said she was amazed and loved it and couldnt believe i wrote it .. i went all shy and sh!t… what do u think

    • Sounds like you’re doing a lot of things right Tony. One quick note though. When a woman says you’re a ‘hard person‘ to read that’s a good sign she likes you and she trying to figure you out. You’ve created some mystery. I’m going to suggest the next time you hear a woman say that respond a little differently. In other words please don’t feel you have to answer of defend yourself in this situation…

      HER: “You’re a hard person to read.

      YOU: “Oh boy. I bet you’re the type of girl who likes to skip to the end of any mystery novel.
      YOU: “Oh really…which chapter are you on right now?
      YOU: “Haha! You should feel lucky my book wasn’t written in Latin.
      YOU: “Which one are you reading, the hard cover version or the soft covered one?

      I think you’re getting the picture there.

      Otherwise great job in keeping a challenging mysterious attitude with her. And no..

      Making sure she is the one you are looking for and constantly qualifying her is always the right thing to do.

      (Your response was not bad at all because you added how you’re just getting to know her and only time will tell.)

      A little word about romance Tony because most guys, when they come to a site like this or start learning this material. throw away romance way too easily.

      As long as she likes you (attraction) and you’re casually dating, romance, and especially being a little humorous about it to lighten it up, is a great way to show her you’re creative among many other things.

      Here’s a good rule to stand by…

      Never use romance to get a woman to feel attracted to you if she is not. It won’t work and it’s creepy. It actually makes her uncomfortable and less attracted if that’s possible. Use romance at the right times and use it sparingly. Be unpredictable and creative and woman love it. It amplifies that attraction and connects with their emotions on a deeper more sensual level. If you want a girlfriend you must use romance.

      Oh and I’m sure she thought you going all shy and shit was cute. Just recover quickly though because it’s hard for women to see confidence in cuteness.

      Again sounds like you’re doing good so keep it up. Don’t be too romantic for a little while and she’ll want it more every day.

      Let me know how it works out I definitely want to know details.

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