Today we are lucky to have an exclusive guest post from Nick Savoy on the top mistakes that intelligent men make with women. Nick Savoy is the President of Love Systems, the most successful dating coaching group in the world and the creator of the famous Love Systems Triad Model. – Peter White
Hey guys, Nick Savoy here. I’ve helped literally tens of thousands of men succeed with women over the past ten years or so. Today, Peter asked if I’d mind sharing a few thoughts on pickup techniques for intelligent men, since the audience on this website might be a bit more sophisticated than your average yahoo.
I think this is a great idea.
A lot of people misunderstand the role that intelligence plays in attraction.
It’s definitely not always a benefit, and there are certain things that intelligent men should keep in mind.
But first — why am I qualified to talk about this?
Love Systems is by far the world’s largest dating coaching group. We’ve trained more clients than anyone else, which gives us the kind of scale necessary to draw conclusions.
When we give examples and say “such-and-such a guy should do X, Y, and Z” that’s not based on our imagination or a couple of test cases. It’s based on hundreds of examples and actual scientific-method testing.
In addition, I have many faults and shortfalls, but I’ve always come across as reasonably intelligent.
This was both a help and a hindrance as I learned how to succeed with women.
In other words, I not only speak from the data; I speak from personal experience.
Never try to show her (or worse, tell her) that you are intelligent.
If you’re an intelligent man, most women you interacted with at school or work have probably been relatively intelligent themselves, and operate in a context where intelligence and education are inherently important and valued.
That’s absolutely not the case in the broader population.
Many women don’t care about intelligence. Some will actually be bored if you seem to be much more intelligent than they are. Most women want a man who is on her level or maybe a bit higher.
BUT… Women are perfectly capable of figuring this out for themselves.
There is no need to work your degrees or esoteric knowledge into the conversation.
If you’ve got brains, this will come out naturally.
Anything else will turn off a lot of women, and seem insecure, braggy, or try-hard. See also the third point below – intelligence is logical, but attraction is emotional.
There is absolutely NO point in being right.
You’re in Las Vegas with a hot date and the cab driver starts talking about his system for winning at blackjack. Your date seems to be listening intently.
Do you jump into the conversation to point out the obvious flaws in his logic?
Or another woman cancels on a date because she isn’t feeling well. You reschedule.
When you see her again, she absent-mindedly apologizes again for having to work and cancelling on you last time.
Do you point out the contradiction?
In both cases, the answer should almost always be “absolutely not”. Always think about your goals.
E.g., in the first case, all that getting into an argument will do is show her that you don’t have great social skills.
Which brings to me a dirty little secret about life, and women:
Rock beats scissors.
Scissors beat paper.
Paper covers rock.
The second example is similar, but also different.
In that case, you already have all the knowledge that you need. She lied about her reasons for cancelling.
You can decide that that’s a big deal to you or that it isn’t. I’d recommend that it isn’t, if this is one of your first dates.
But all that pressing her on the issue is going to do is tell you what she does when caught in a lie, and to sour her mood.
If those happen to be your goals for the evening, then go ahead. Otherwise, file it away.
Be fun and playful, not serious and deep.
Intelligent men often tend to be overly serious when they meet women. But even the most serious and intellectual of women is looking to have fun and relax when she goes out as opposed to having deep and meaningful conversations right off the bat.
Attraction is an emotional process, not a logical one.
When a woman says she wants a guy who is X, Y, and Z, don’t think of this like a checklist or a job application form, where your ability to be with her is based on your ability to show her that you have the characteristics that she’s looking for.
Attraction does NOT work that way.
To attract a woman, make her feel emotions around you that create attraction.
She should be having fun.
She should sense your masculinity and inner strength.
She should be challenged (people want what they have to work for).
She should sense your confidence.
She should be entertained (but don’t be a “dancing monkey” for her).
And so on.
If she feels attracted to you emotionally, she’ll do all the logical work herself.
I’ve had a woman tell me that they knew they liked me because I had a good sense of humor, good values, and I was a really nice guy.
Whether or not any of that is actually true, it certainly wasn’t anything that she could have honestly perceived in me by the time she agreed to come home with me.
She was attracted because I teased her, made her feel alive and excited, and comfortable being drawn into my conversational web.
Similarly, I had a woman tell me that she liked me because I was a Libra. That describes 1/12th of the male population.
Again, she was attracted to me because of the emotions I made her feel, and only after that did she try to find logical reasons for her attraction.
In fact, this is a big part of making a woman your girlfriend (if that’s what you want) – helping her find quality logical “reasons” to explain her positive emotions toward you.
But that’s a more advanced topic we can save for another time.
And to be sure – this is about the initial conversation.
The more you get to know each other, the more you can tone things down a bit and engage her on a deeper level.
I’m really only scratching the surface here, both in terms of Love Systems and in terms of special pitfalls and opportunities for intelligent men.
To learn more, I recommend you surf the hundreds of free dating advice articles on Love Systems – or, if you’re ready to take charge of dating life right way, take the Magic Bullets Handbook 30 day challenge.
We literally guarantee that your love life will improve significantly within 30 days, or it’s no risk to you.
I wanted to personally thank Nick for contributing his time and words to DiaLteG TM. I consider it honor to have the President of Love Systems share intelligent advice exclusively.