Carlos Xuma and I know a ton about bad boys, jerks, and nice guys seeking approval…
It’s only fitting that the second part of my interview deal with these problems. The first part can be read here: Click here to check out the first part of this interview.
Here is what you can take away from it:
- The scale of a man’s personality from extreme to alpha man, bad boy, jerk, asshole, and where you want to be on that scale to attract more women.
- How disapproval is not the same as being disliked.
- How disapproval is not the same thing as, not being unattractive.
- What the opposite of love is.
- What the opposite of hatred is.
- What are the scary statistics for men.
- What his “Bad Boy Formula” is really all about.
- Reclaiming our masculinity as men.
I recently posted a page called, You’re Such A Jerk Pete! 7 Reasons to Hate Me? Is this what you Bad Boy Formula About?
Yeah this is a great analogy for something that, I’m actually working on a project I call it the Bad Boy Formula and it’s going to be out very soon.
Where I break down completely the bad boy model and I explain why, you do, as a man, want to be, at least a little bit bad boy.
If not a lot bad boy.
Because bad boy is not bad.
What’s bad, is the jerk.
The jerk is not the same thing as the bad boy.
Okay, there’s a very big difference here. Bad boy’s got that mischievous smirk on his face. He’s the one that has got a little bit of that clever look in his eye like, I’m having fun on my own terms. I’m not hurting anyone but I’m getting my fun.
And I’m making sure other people enjoy themselves too.
That’s a good bad boy right there and that’s close to my Alpha Man model. This is what I, pretty much what I teach every guy to be.
Alpha man is right next to the bad boy. If you were to line up these guys up, like in terms of, the wimpiest to the strongest.
Way over on the left hand side is that super super nice guy, who isn’t really that nice by the way because he has got kind of, a covert agenda going on.
Then you’ve got various forms of the nice guy all the way up until you got a good guy. He’s just a good guy but he doesn’t really have a lot of strong masculine energy.
And then you’ve got the Alpha Man. Who’s got a lot more of an edgy side of the equation.
Now we’re getting further over to the right. And just to the right of the Alpha Man is the bad boy.
Then to the right of the bad boy is the jerk. And then beyond the jerk comes the asshole and the complete psychopath.
So there’s an extreme to each one of these, and you’ve got to be able to play in that danger zone.
So you’re right.
If you assume that a woman is upset and that means it equates to, not liking you, you’re making a very big mistake.
It’s a two dimensional way of looking at emotions, and feelings from people. It show a very distinct need to improve your emotional intelligence and understanding that,
Disapproval is not the same thing as being disliked.
Disapproval is not the same thing as, not being unattractive.
And being upset does not equate to, not liking you.
And when you make that desperate scramble to get her to like you….
Well you’re really going off the deep end there because the reality is, and this has been demonstrated time and time again, you’ve probably seen this in movies, and you’ve know it’s true when you see it.
You see this woman that really just kind of does not get along with this guy. And later as you go through the movie there’s this sudden change where she suddenly in love with him.
Her angry and her hatred for this guy turns into complete love and devotion to him.
Now how could this happen, right?
You see hatred is not the opposite of love. Hatred is very close to love. It’s a passionate feeling.
The opposite of love is apathy. That’s the opposite. No feeling at all. That’s the worst place to be.
And yeah that’s a great insight and it’s something I talk about in my Bad Boy Formula that really kind of explains a little bit about that.
Tell me a little more about The Bad Boy Formula.
Well let me tell you a little bit about it. I talked to you just a second ago about kind of the pendulum swing of extreme to extreme scale and where guys fit into that.
The Bad Boy formula is really about this, to kind of sum it up.
And that is, that guys are, for a lack of a better term, watered down.
They’re just not putting out enough of the edginess , the humor, the risk they used to. They’re too concerned with getting women to approve of them.
And this goes back to the approval thing. I just recently made a blog post in relation to this where I talked about, mens, scary statistics,
I call it scary statistics for men.
One of the alpha students of mine sent me an article and I posted it up.
And I said you know what, this is not a competition. But guys, really, you got to stake your claim.
If you need any more proof that it’s a woman’s world out there, listen to this.
- Double the number of single women are now purchasing homes in America, than there are single men. Think about that.
- 4 out of 10 women are now their families primary bread-winner. A sharp increase from the past decades.
- The New Hampshire State Legislature is now made up of a majority of women, it’s a first for a legislative body in the U.S. And the number of women in government continues to edge up nationwide.
- Women now account for 30% of Math PhD’s.
- On average women read 9 books every year. You know how many men read? 4!
- Women also account for 80% of the U.S. fiction market.
I’ve talked about this before. In several of my other programs.
Just how strong of a presence, woman are.
Guys don’t realize this, that when you walk into a bookstore, and which is by the way a great to go to meet women.
They’re the ones that are in there buying most of that stuff. All that stuff is marketed to women. They are marketing those magazines to women.
You know who the primary reader of all the men’s magazines you can think of are, oh one the popular ones are Men’s Health. Women read more of those magazine than men do.
Men are becoming illiterate and watered down.
We’ve got to really stake our claim and make a comeback here. And I don’t mean that in some kind of angry misogynistic way. Guy just have to step up and own it a little more. We’ve got to man up.
Oh one more statistic.
- The world bank recently estimated that the global earning power of women, will reach an estimated 18 trillion by the year 2014.
Now if that sounds just like a big number to you think about the fact that this is, more than men.
Women are going to have more money than men will. And you’ve got to realize that’s what drives capitalism and consumer cultures. And it really does drive the world in a lot of ways.
Who’s paying for what?
Women are buying something that’s who the marketers are going to go after. That’s where entertainment goes. That’s where the entertainment industry leads things.
We don’t have romantic comedies because guys dig them. We have them because women do. And women go to see them, and women pay out the bucks for them.
SO what it sums up to in the whole bad boy thing is…
If guys don’t get back to a more, less watered down version of themselves.
A little more concentrated, a little more edgy. Maybe with a little more bite to them.
A little like doing a slice of lemon, that little bit of wow.
Kind of a zing. Which is not necessarily uncomfortable in a lot of ways. A little bit of a wake up.
That’s what guys got to do. They got to put on their personalities. A little bit of edge. Maybe a little bit of sugar on the side to make it palatable.
Think about guys, Bad Boy Formula is really about reclaiming that sense of masculinity we’ve lost over the years, and we have lost it, big time.
I was very fortunate I had a Dad that taught me this stuff, as best as he could. And I learned a lot of it on my own the hard way. Through the school of hard Knox. Through getting my butt kicked and handed to me by women out there.
I learned it and I figured it out and I came back in a way that does not need to get my masculine power by lowering women.
I simply raise up my value as a masculine man. And let me tell you. It is valued out there. I have more than enough stories about that.
Carlos Xuma has earned my respect over the years and I never hesitate sending any man who wants to learn about attracting women his way. He’s given me the opportunity to share with you lots of great free advice which you can find at DiaLteG TM – Free Advice and Product Links From Carlos Xuma.