We CAN use movies to learn how to be more attractive but we need to learn how to use them the right way.
It only requires objective thinking, an open mind, and choosing the right characters.
Remember, this guy is NOT known for being a ladies man and he pulls it off the routine despite that fact.
Watch him specifically in the scene where he begins courting Sigourney Weaver‘s character.
At 24 minutes and 5 seconds in Bill enters Sigourney’s apartment.
The scene will last to 28 minutes 4 seconds so we’re literally going to learn how to attract a women in 4 minutes flat.
Very impressive if you ask me.
First he “play acts” a James Bond kind of role and we all know how good Bond, James Bond, is with women.
Watch closely his facial expressions… Fairly slow, confident, and calculated.
A classic style of an experienced attractive guy.
Attractive men take up and own their own space. They move at their own pace confidently and practically every move is calculated like it was meant to happen.
You can read more about “body language” here: Body Language IS Communication
A big reason why I picked this movie is because, despite your physical appearance – you can still move and present yourself as an attractive guy. It’s NOT all about how good-looking you are.
Next… clever phrasing.
Notice his choice of words which get her to reveal useful information about herself.
He doesn’t blatantly ask her if she’s single which is boring and intrusive. Instead he says,
“It’s a lot of space. Just you?”
The attractive combination is: OBSERVE -> ASK -> LISTEN.
If you just randomly start asking questions it feels like an interview. It’s again, boring and lacks creativity or style.
You don’t have to be all that creative but you can come up with clever “conversation starters” which will be more attractive by observing your surroundings first.
You’ll get more information and by revealing herself to you in this way does create more attraction than just simply asking her question after question.
Next… Avoid answering her questions directly.
When she asks him a direct question he doesn’t even bother answering it directly. Instead he says,
“It’s technical. Just one of our toys.”
This requires a little skill and time to learn but it’s helpful in creating attraction because it changes the dynamics of the interaction.
Like the last attraction creating tip – we need to avoid being boring and mundane.
I’ve found when you learn a little about testing you can also learn about creating different kind of interactions. You can start here –> Understanding A Woman’s Test and How To Pass Them
Next… Ballsy – Attitude – Being Fearless.
When he enters her apartment he has the balls to go right to her bedroom!
I love it.
She of course mentions how nothing happens in there and he, straight-faced, comes back with a bust ass comment,
“What a crime.”
Now what does she do to combat his cockiness, she plays with him a little and tells him he’s more like a game show host.
Notice how he won’t even acknowledge the rude comment.
He stays straight-faced and does not allow her to get to him.
He must know if he lets her get to him, especially with a comment like that, he loses the game.
That whole scene has a little of everything we’ve covered so far and continues below…
Onto the kitchen.
Pay very close attention to how she tries to get him to look in the fridge but he takes his sweet ass time getting there.
She is on HIS time.
Obviously he is going to look in the fridge but again, when he’s ready, on his own terms.
When he finally opens the door to the fridge, slowly, he immediately begins to bust her balls about eating junk food.
He doesn’t not care or worry about pissing her off.
He sticks firmly to his cocky attitude.
At this point she realizes there is nothing special inside and what she had experienced before was long gone and so she begins to freak out a little and how does he handle her emotional state?
Very calm and unaffected!
He looks right in her eyes and says,
“I don’t think you’re crazy.”
I can not emphasize how important this is because even though he is actually complimenting her, his cocky bust ass attitude up until then leads her to believe he is joking.
But he’s not!
And still he lets her believe it.
After they leave the kitchen he gives a little emotion through his voice tonality with a short story.
He shows a genuine interest in her but he does it in a way that is creative and passionate.
He doesn’t just say, “Hey I like you, let’s go out.”
He tells her this is my life and it seems we are very similar.
We have a similar problem.
Of course she fights him a little which is a classic response to feeling something for a guy when she can’t explain it herself.
Notice how he then handles her obvious objections.
By saying something way which is obviously to absurd to be realistic…
He slowly gets up, looks down, then slowly looks up to her eyes, for that big dramatic effect,
“I am going to go for broke.” (another big pause) “I am madly in love with you.”
She fights him of course.
In the next few seconds pay very close attention to his cocky attitude and how it turns towards him joking about himself but at the same time he is being cocky, slightly amusing, and busting on himself all at once.
It’s classic and those last few seconds he says,
“I bet you’re going to be thinking about me after I’m gone.”
Wrinkles his eyebrow and finishes it with,
Here are a few other little attraction cues he used in this scene.
Notice he doesn’t laugh at his own jokes. He may smirk occasionally but that’s it.
Notice he doesn’t waver when she puts him down. In fact, he doesn’t even acknowledge it.
Examine closely the way he’s not afraid to piss her off.
This classic movie scene can easily slip by without ever realizing how much “attraction building” techniques are built in.
I will say again, Bill Murray is definitely NOT the epitome of a movie stud, yet I still believe with his dead pan comedy, unwavering confidence, and charm, if you’d so call it that…
We can learn a lot from it because attraction is not always the tall, dark, and handsome seeping a woman off her feet. Often it’s far from that.
It’s the right attitude. The right blend of humor. A little bit of cockiness. A ton of confidence.
And you can build attraction.
Watch Bill do it and try a little for yourself.