They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. They say beauty is everywhere if you look hard enough.
They also say as guys, we’re supposed to look past her smoking hot body. How we must stop using physical attraction as the main criteria for selecting the women we date, chase, want to sex with, actually have sex with, or even masturbate to but that last one doesn’t count unless it’s our wife or girlfriend who is saying it.
We can assume the “they” doing the talking is mainly women and is not reserved to the pretty ones who feel guys only want to have sex with them.
Average or below looking women will say it because they might feel they’re not given a real chance at a great guy because of their looks alone. How if most men would take the time to look past their exterior they’d find a great woman inside.
I can understand that. I felt terribly ugly and unworthy of “hot” women for so many years I too begged the world to introduce just ONE woman who would look beyond my looks and fall in love or lust with the guy underneath. I too, felt it was unfair and would eventually leave me a bitter alone man with nothing to show for life but a cleverness in skills which I mastered because I wasn’t getting laid.
Being honest about it all – The only women I actually DID beg to look past my ugliness were either the very same women who complained guys are only into sex OR the physically élite hotties who were off-limits to my sexual advancements.
Maybe that makes me a pig. Maybe it makes me a bad guy. Maybe it makes me normal – although that’s highly doubtful because everywhere I look, I see average looking guys with average looking women. I see the not so perfect women with the not so perfect guys…
And some of them are actually happy. Relatively speaking of course.
Does it really make me different because all my life I’ve only fell for women who I found highly attractive to ME? Not to some other guy. My standards compared to them might seem a little high. To them or others they will say I’m expecting too much. To some other guys my definition of beauty is definitely different.
But I’m not unreasonable.
I don’t want a perfect body lacking of flaws.
“If sex is our ONLY goal, we’re giving her all the power to reject us OR she’s going to make us work REAL hard for it.” – Is The Game of Sexual Attraction a Level Playing Field for Both Sexes?
I’m not aiming for perfection in mind and body.
It’s just I WANT to be sexually attracted to her more than (other) women. Enough that when I tell her she’s beautiful, enough for when we’re having sex, enough to be completely honest to her about how I feel about her.
I can not and will NEVER be able to lie to a woman just to make her happy about her looks.
It’s understandable that looks fade but I’ve also noticed aging together changes our perception. Maturing with a woman doesn’t all of a sudden leave us feeling less attracted to her.
All in all… YES!
Looks do come first with me. Whether I’m the only guy who works that way or if that makes me different, I have no idea.
Attraction IS a perception beginning with an instinctual need to continue a piece of ourselves and that’s undeniable.
There is nothing wrong with a guy wanting to be with someone who he finds attractive first and foremost…. But there’s definitely something wrong with a guy who has to spend his life propping his woman up or lying about how he “really” feels because he’s not feeling it and “settled” with someone or the only one he felt would have him.
The problem is when “others” assume it’s ALL we want and when others assume it’s perfection(al) beauty we seek when it’s not.
There must ALWAYS be something more for something more to happen.
The most beautiful one in the world (if any group could agree to what that would be) can be the ugliest person alive without something real and loving inside.
“…All she wants is for you to chase her and feed her Ego…” – Do You Have The Balls To Blow That Hot Girl Off and Should You?
We ALL mostly agree idiots, bigots, people who lack a healthy dose of empathy, constant negativity, or a superior sense of self over others denies the “beautiful people” a label they don’t deserve AND as far as sex goes, sleeping with someone like that is NOT a pleasurable experience. It’s not and never will be worth even the smallest effort.
Yet.. I see the good in others so to actually find those “types” of people is extremely difficult in my world. Perhaps your world is different because I know in some parts, you’re going to find it prevalent based on the deprecation and inequality found there.
Back to some point here…
Attraction is NOT skin deep.
I’m not defending myself or my choices or my actions.
A huge part of me actually believes my high standards of beauty and beyond means something very clear to the woman I choose to search for more:
The undeniable fact that when I say she’s the hottest women in the world, when I tell her how much she turns me on, when I let her know what she does to me, how she makes me feel, mind, body, and soul: I mean every word of it.
It’s NOT a curse to NOT be capable of lying to a woman just to get laid.
If that means my sex life or girlfriend life suffers a little or goes through some down time while my search goes on, so be it.
If that means some will scorn me or accuse me of being a shallow seeker, so be it.
If that means more than a handful of women will never try (with me) because THEY think I want perfection or couldn’t find them beautiful, well that sucks and I know how they feel from my past, but again, so be it.
If that makes it appear to some that I’m all about sex and nothing else and how I’m only ever out there to get my “dick wet” – well they’re just plain wrong because again… I feel incapable of lying to a woman JUST to get laid.
My pattern is the same and has always been the same.
I seek a strong physical attraction which varies and is not defined by one body type, one face, one shape, or absolute perfection AND is heightened by who she is underneath those pretty and deeply sexy eyes.
After that… well it’s NOT always crystal clear WHAT must come next…