What NOT To Do When A Woman Flakes Out On You

Flaking out or having a woman flake out on you generally means she agrees to go out with you for a date but backs out within hours or continually does it to you -  leaving you "on the hook".

It can also mean getting her number and when you try to get in touch with her, she ignores it and doesn't get back to you ever again. It goes straight to voicemail... every time!

It sucks, that I understand. It's frustrating, annoying, and can make you want to scream.

Nothing can piss you off more than going through all the work of meeting a woman, capturing her interest, getting the number, and then asking for a date ONLY to be "blown off" and have her flake out - or in the worst case scenario - not answer her phone or text message when you try for the first time.

There are many different opinions on how to handle a woman when she acts this way which makes this problem somewhat EASY to deal with BUT, it can also make it very confusing as to choosing which is the right one for you.

They are:

  • Get mad or angry and call her out on it. Asking her why or make her feel bad for doing it. Basically being rude to let her know you're pissed and you didn't appreciate what she did to you.
  • Seek revenge or play a game with her. This is where when she finally agrees to meet up and you blow her off. Or you just continually leave her hanging on the rope. Telling her you're busy but you're trying to free up some time.
  • You can ignore it. Pretend as if you didn't even realize she flaked out. You can act like you don't even care or it's not a big deal. It happens. You make another date and try again "hoping" she doesn't do it again.

On top of HOW you CHOOSE to respond or react to her flake, you can also assure it doesn't happen in the first place. There are certain things you can do which will make it far less likely to happen.

The inherent problem with trying to make sure it doesn't happen is that the more you date, the more likely it's going to come about AND women WILL flake.

It's kind of a guarantee of dating depending on how many dates with different women you go out with AND how you're getting their information.

Here's what you should NOT do when a woman flakes out on you...

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Stop wasting time with women who only will EVER want to be your friend!

 

Dave here (…) I never put it use in my social life probably because I was raised to believe only “sluts” want sex and who wants a slut, right? Right now she is looking pretty good. LOL (…)  making me feel better about many things I just wanted to say I am glad I accidentally ran across your site and to say Thank You and keep up the good work. 

Thank You again your awesome and your teachings are also, Dave Allen

About the author: Peter White – I know a few things about life, dating, attraction, & relationships. It feels great to share & also helps pay some bills. Get in touch, become a member, and hope you get something useful out of it all.

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Leave a Comment

32 comments… add one
  • Me

    This article is gold. Best one I’ve seen about flaking. Point blank period

  • Yo

    The funny thing is that the guys who call the flakey girls out are real heroes because in modern times girls tend to get away with their shit. Sure it guarantees that you wont get them back, but real heroes care about the masses not themselves. If girls got told off for flaking they’d think twice before leading somebody on. The older I get the more I realize that there is no point in getting these low quality piece of garbage women so make them feel bad for being bitches every time or you’re a loser.

    • I believe you need to redefine your definition of a “real” hero.

      And nowhere do I see that a woman flaking automatically means she led some guy on.

      Tell you what – you keep trying to treat women like they’re children who need to be reprimanded to “learn” – let me know how that goes for you.

      Seems to me – YOU are the one who only seems capable of picking up what you call piece of shit garbage women because you don’t feel smart or good enough to learn the skills to date the so-called better women.

      You think they’re bitches – the must LOVE you man.

  • J

    Sorry but allowing a woman to push you around and being expected to take it is archaic. I’m not advocating to get angry or act out; however, I do believe in being able to take what you dish out. Otherwise, you’re a hypocrite

    • I agree J. Letting yourself be pushed around is never a good thing. At some point you have to hold your ground and make a stance.

      BUT you’re looking at this all from a very limited perspective. Meaning – there are many variables in place which needs to be considered. As in a guy that women are always flaking out on him, don’t you think at that point it’s not a flaking problem, he’s obviously doing something wrong in the getting a number or date process which is causing it. How does that have anything to do with being pushed around?

      Another example – what about a guy who is extremely good with women. Don’t you think he intimidates them. Makes them nervous and even a little fearful of being rejected themselves. Wouldn’t it be more likely for her to flake on him for reasons which go above and beyond being disrespectful? She’s not trying t push that guy around – she’s just finding any old excuse to avoid her deepest fears around men she’s into a lot.

      So, it’s not all black and white. And it’s certainly not about letting yourself be pushed around. It goes much deeper and that’s why I say or believe you’re looking at this “problem” from a limited perspective.

      Lastly, take a guy who is not good with women and finally meets one – and she fucking flakes out on him for whatever her reasons are – it’s safe to assume THAT guy doesn’t have too many chances and no, he shouldn’t let her push him around – BUT if he learns how to handle HER confidently and without any cause to retaliate, the next ones are more likely to come around because he’s building his skills and confidence. All while learning to deal with a flaky woman – in a mature, responsible, and not in a way “blanket” statement – “Flake on me, you’re done!” attitude.

      My point is – and yes I agree with you on the being pushed around angle – but it’s not really being take what you dish out (as in a flake women “should” learn to deal with her flaky actions) – it’s about reading a situation or circumstance a little deeper minus any and all assumptions that just because she flaked – means she’s a piece of shit hypocrite who deserves to be treated the same.

      Thanks for sharing J – ALL opinions are welcome especially from those who took the time and effort to share it with me and the guys who visit DiaLteG TM.

      Pete

  • Eminent

    I really don’t like the idea to act as nothing would have happened. Not expressing your emotions towards a women is often just weakness.
    To cancel without a really good reason like an emergency shouldn’t be accepted and the girl doesn’t deserve your time. I don’t feel it’s necessarily about getting the girl. Its more about to beware your self worth and stick to your values. Its the easiet way to filter. I in general tell them i didn’t like what they did and I tell them there is no space for people with that kind behaviour in my live if it goes too far.
    Often i am done with them after letting them know. If they feel really sorry and show interest afterwards and i believe them to be honest. I sometimes change my mind.

    • Thanks for sharing – much appreciated. To each his own and if it’s working for you – cool – great to hear.

      • Wheaton

        If a girl cancels on me with some notice, it isn’t a problem. Sometimes I don’t feel like doing things and cancel too. But if she puts out a vibe that resembles anything along the lines of playing games or a lack of integrity. She can kick rocks. Maybe for some, like the dude who wrote the article. He is willing to ignore red flags that indicate poor character, but this will likely lead to problems down the road. Maybe you’ll have kids with her and she’ll start to flake on you and them. Next thing she’s moving out into another dudes house and you now have to go through an expensive divorce etc and give her half your wealth. Maybe that’s a worst case scenario but I know my character and integrity. I don’t know there’s. And my actions aren’t about proving myself. It’s about deciding whether or not they are a quality mate. Flaking is a big red flag.

        • Thanks Wheaton and yes – that is certainly the worst case scenario or a bit extreme going from “flaker” to landing on some other dude’s house and an expensive divorce.

          I’d have to say that 99.999% of the time – there was something more going sinister on in those cases, which had little to do with her “flakiness”.

          I DO like how your actions are not about proving yourself. It’s a great attitude to have.

          BUT – we’re all not perfect, right. We all make little mistakes. We all screw up once in a while just the same as we are all good and great at other things.

          My point is: What if all women acted like you and treated every minor flaw or mistake of yours, as a way of instantly determining your character? One wrong move and you’re done. Wouldn’t seem fair or justified? It would appear judgmental, rude, and opinionated from your point of view.

          Okay – we can argue that some women DO that already. I’m sure that’s the case BUT many of them are bitter, alone, judgmental, man-haters, overly-opinionated and unjustifiably rude. SO you wouldn’t want THEM anyways.

          It’s good to see you’re prioritizing and you’re qualifying women for quality. And if flaking is a big one for you – then who am I to oppose or object to how you live your life.

          Hell it’s not like you’re being unreasonable, that’s for sure. you seem to have a good handle on the severity of the flake and you do draw the line intelligently.

          Thanks for sharing your view – always great to from other guys on all these subjects.

  • FreeFred

    This is all well and true, but, off-topic; if we are going to continuously let women get the pussy pass on everything, then we should consider rolling back the whole equality thing. Otherwise we are encouraging bad behavior, as we’ve done for decades now. And if their bad behavior is “subconscious,” well, then that’s all the reason we need. Think about it gents, onward and upward.

    • Thanks for sharing Fred – I’m not saying they should get a “pussy pass” on everything. Merely explained the flaking problem compartmentalized as best as I could.

      I try to see women as adults who can and should be expected to handle their own lives – what you might be suggesting sounds like they should be treated like children with the “encouraging bad behavior” line or that perhaps we have been doing it all along, which might explain the current trends.

      Either way – I appreciate you took the time to write in. Very cool.

  • AlphaM

    Spot on!!