The number one complaint I hear from women that have learned how to attract quality men is…
It’s as if I have personally eliminated a large percentage of “date-able” men.
It’s as if I’ve doomed any woman I have given advice to only one or two dates with a guy before ruling out yet another relationship with him.
Maybe it was a guilty moment or maybe it was a deep urge to give great advice but I thought hard about this.
I wanted an answer.
I wanted to figure out exactly where women can go to meet higher quality men.
A part of me also wanted to send all the men I teach who have excelled to a meeting place where women can finally meet these up and coming quality dudes.
Yeah, I said dudes.
Logically speaking it’s simple right – go where the type of man you want is.
In other words if you’re not looking for a guy who likes to take extreme risks don’t take up skydiving or mountain climbing.
If you’re looking for an intelligent man who enjoys books and hanging out, just go to a coffee shop or library.
But we all know how pure logic works when it comes to the social dynamics between men and women.
Or how about a “real” man does not necessarily have to do anything in particular.
Just because we’re found in a social area does not mean any of us guys anything more about being a real man than someone else does.
Your real man might be in a place you would never even expect.
Simply put, meeting more men only increases the odds it does not dictate the outcome.
Let’s “crunch the numbers.”
I (and many other experts) have quoted 10 or less of every hundred guys knows what is necessary to attract incredible women.
8 off that list has the skills firmly in his grasp to turn you on.
Half of those men you probably won’t get along with or are not willing to settle down.
They’re still playing the field.
Now I’m willing to bet half of the last four are already in a relationship, married, or just might not be interested in you.
That leaves 2 guys.
Is it then right for me to ask you to date one hundred guys?
Oh yeah, make sure you keep the two “real men” close by.
So in one year that’s roughly one date every three days and where the hell do you find the time to do that?!!!!
It almost makes you want to give up dating entirely and just settle for the guy who at least cares enough and is “train-able.” to your needs and desires.
Is it right for me to ask women to disqualify men, that is if they want to avoid having one failed relationship after another?
And what about all the men I show how to disqualify you quickly.
Following that logic above if we filled a room with one hundred men and one hundred women, only 4 people would be suitable for a long-term relationship.
Maybe you and I are looking at this problem of hooking up from the wrong perspective.
Let’s ask this question again to ourselves…
Where Are All The Real Men?
Personally I’m not satisfied with the answer in my head that there is a place any woman can go, to meet him.
Then again I’ve enjoyed the skill or the ability of being able to rule out 98% of the women I meet.
Maybe it’s a guy thing but learning how to attract and get the dates of a hundred women and then having the courage to reject many of them is something I will always treasure to have learned.
Below is what I recently wrote the woman who last posted this question to me and I believe it will help ease some of the stress.
“Your new life has given you opportunities most women would die for. Not only the ability to size up a man, flirt with him sexually, but also the strength to say, “You know I’m just not going there with you.”
You know as well as I do too many women get stuck in relationships always trying to make it work, and the longer they’re in it, the harder it become to find themselves and to get out.
You have a new gift. Use it wisely young lady. 🙂 And teach other women what you know because they might need it.”
I don’t plan on getting into a philosophical discussion with you about “enjoying the ride” or to stop thinking about the outcome, or even to perhaps lower your standards to find a “reasonable” real man.
One whose tiny faults you find can be managed.
I’m not even going to tell you there is not a place you can sit down and enjoy whatever your favorite drink is and suddenly the quality men will be beckoning at your feet.
The best way to handle this problem and find your own personal solution is to propose to women everywhere who may have found a real men… to tell you where.
Tell you how.
Tell you what makes a real man and what separated him from the rest.
Let’s even explore the possibility every good guy is taken by you.
Then I propose to any woman who has not be able to find their “real man,” to tell us your gut reaction to where you believe you’ll find that perfect guy for you.
Where do you believe YOUR man is hiding?
Was he in the past?
Do you regret letting that one guy get away?
Do you disqualify men for trivial reasons?
And why do you rule out so many relationships because of those reasons?
Are you scared of getting hurt?
Are you scared you can not get out easily if it turns out badly?
Do you invest so much of yourself to each and every man you “bed” down with or “date” the mere prospect of living and escaping another failure stops you from trying?
Do you bore easily with every guy you entered a relationship with?
As your interest goes down so does the excitement of those first four months…so you constantly keep the level of intensity up going from man to man claiming no one is good enough for you?
The answer to where all the real men are lies somewhere in the honest answers to the questions above and more…
There is not a place you can go, but a place you must be inside, that holds the solution.
Granted, most men fail to capture your heart just the same as most women fail to capture my heart or win me over.
And yes, fulfilling relationships that last forever do not magically appear on the outside of us.
They happen from within us and can not be found somewhere over the rainbow.
I’m a real man.
I was not perfect yesterday and I won’t be perfect tomorrow but I’m perfect today.
You can find me here for a fraction of time in YOUR life today but I might be gone tomorrow.
The place I’m at varies based on my daily schedule but the “real man” you’re looking for is always inside you…if you ask the right questions to yourself I believe you’ll find him.
What do you think?
Since the transition to making DiaLteG TM just for men I strongly encourage and suggest you take a good look at my “only for women” – “all about guys” website appropriately named Why Do Guys…?
You’ll find lots of great stuff on understanding men there.
Your second choice and a great opportunity would be to look at the articles at the approach I’ve written for women. The Approach – For Women Category.