Nice guys are well too known for starting friendships with women and THEN wanting more.
It is one of the many reasons we end up in her friends zone (most of the time) BUT this is a big one because…
Right away, we’re starting off with way too many points against us.
#1. It’s misleading to women.
She may never trust our intentions. We might find ourselves constantly trying to explain ourselves or worse yet, pleading with her that we’re for real.
#2. Doesn’t set up a very important first impression of attraction.
We’re constantly focusing on trying to redo our first impression which we know is impossible but we just can’t help ourselves.
#3. It’s easier to go from attracted to just friends than it is to turn a friend into girlfriend.
Turning a friend into a girlfriend is not impossible but if you ask me, if she didn’t feel attracted to us when we met, we must admit it’s going to be a lot more work.
Granted if she was attracted initially the only problem becomes the possible loss of a good friend. Not something all women are willing to give up IF she has options.
#4. It’s an excuse we use to “get to know her better” because we don’t know how to create attraction or how it works. We Kind of just hope it happens.
Number four says it all and I believe it’s the most common.
When I liked a girl, I figure I’d become friends with her and see what happens and 99% of the time what happened was, we became friends. Doesn’t take a genius to figure that out one BUT then why did it take me 20 years to do it. 🙂
We do it. Women KNOW we do it.
Hell they’re probably okay with it because in their head they’re thinking, “I’m making a good friend and we’ll see what happens… although I already know what’s going to happen and this guy does nothing for me sexually but… he’s a nice guy and they’re hard to find. Who knows maybe I will like him someday… doubt it. “
My point today is…
IF friends first before a relationship makes for a long drawn out NOT love or like affair, one riddled with pleading, hidden feelings and intentions, constant backtracking, perhaps years of boring bland courtship and ends with asking a woman to make a choice between losing a friend or getting a guy she knows she can already have…
ALWAYS opt for attraction FIRST.
A man who’s “inner strength” allows him to project the correct body language… speak slowly, directly and clearly… use humor effectively… make clear, strong decisions… gives off the kind of calm, cool confidence that’s “fuel” for attraction. The First Thing Women Look For In “Mr. Right”
It’s EASIER to accept failure first if she doesn’t want it, like it, or is even remotely interested in us.
The longer we wait to accept failure the more OTHER women will pass us by and the deeper we go; missing opportunity after opportunity.
Always opt for ATTRACTION first.
Trust me, she’ll get over it if it doesn’t work. She might even feel better for it. Come on… if you liked her that much, let her have the boost man. 🙂
You’re out there to make a woman feel good, no, GREAT about meeting you.
You’re out there to plant your “seed” inside her mind. If she can’t get you out of her head, partly sexually, then it didn’t work anyways.
You’re out there to excite her, thrill her, and quite possibly stir any emotional thing she’s got going on inside her body.
You’re NOT there to bore her into submission, do her favors, help her with her work, do her laundry, wash her car, feed her dog, drive her places, meet the guy she’s having sex with.
She can do all that on her own and has long before you came along.
She doesn’t NEED you to do that.
She NEEDS a guy who can create attraction in her and at least in that way, doing laundry with her might lead to sex anyways. 😉 She might not be overly submissive which is not a bad thing but she’ll still want it AND then you might find she’s doing YOU favors.
“You must admit – becoming friends with some amazingly beautiful women is a lot easier than it is to make them your girlfriend… so make sure you FOLLOW THESE RULES. The Benefits And Rules Of Becoming Friends With Hotter Women
Yes. I’m quite opinionated on this whole friend first before a relationship. You might even say overly dramatic or even just plain passionate.
It’s because well yes, I don’t mind having women friends. I can handle them.
But based on the hard lessons I’ve learned, what those ex-friends zone women taught me, was that “friends first” just isn’t worth the battle and often leaves US feeling bitter, rejected, and even sometimes more obsessed than before which is NOT a great combination for success.