This Is Why I Didn’t Get Laid For Years – What’s Your Excuse?

"Why won't you sleep with me? Not good-looking? Not rich enough? What am I doing wrong??!!!"

It's not too hard to guess why some guys get laid a lot and some guys don't. My younger self "guessed" the obvious reasons (or my personal excuses) based on what I experienced, what I saw, and the common beliefs thrown at me while growing up.

When a woman would reject me (or not accept me as a sexual option) I looked closely at the guys she would sleep with and the pattern appeared clear.

Let's look at each reason separately and later we can discuss them in more detail.

#1. Good-looking or ruggedly handsome. Tall or taller than me.

The tall part was easy because I could see that but since I couldn't fully understand what made a guy attractive, I just assumed the guys the women wanted had to be better looking than me.

So if "he" got laid a lot and I didn't, he must be better looking than me.

#2. High social status.

Lots of friends. Did cool things. These guys were in the spotlight, being seen and adored by many. It didn't take me long to figure out that women would rather be "seen" with a guy who can bring her that fame even if it was just a small local thing.

Of course women wanted to be taken places. They didn't want some guy who was just sitting on his ass or in my case, hanging out and getting stoned or drunk.

If he got some and I didn't it was because he was either "cooler" than me or enjoyed a higher status.

#3. Pre-selected.

If you can land some hot chic and other women knew it or saw it, then they would be more likely to sleep with you too. Pre-selection seemed to make a big difference with women.

It almost felt like if you single or not friends with some hotter women, you're chances were 0% of getting one just because of that alone.

If "he" had women chasing after him, even if it wasn't true, women only had to believe it was happening, then he would have his share of options to help him get laid.

#4. Money.

Have lots of money and you're going to get laid more than a guy who has nothing or very little.

Have a well-off family with some cash and women would happily sleep with you.

Money was not big where I was from but it certainly did make a difference the further away from home I tried to get laid. T

he guys who could travel far and take incredible vacations didn't seem to have a problem in the woman area.

If "he" was getting laid a lot or had no problems getting any, then it must be a monetary thing especially if he wasn't good-looking.

#5. Be a jerk, bad boy, or just act like an ass who was always getting in trouble or getting in fights.

Women seemed to be more likely to sleep with a guy who was not good for them.

His rebellion was "her" rebellion.

His troubles amazed her.

It was almost like she was more likely to fuck a guy if everyone "good" around her told her not to sleep with him because he was "bad" for her.

If "he" could show off how troubled he was or how he didn't care whether he got in trouble, or show how he wasn't afraid of death and did dangerous things, then he'd certainly be getting more than the guy who lived a less dangerous life.

Remember above I said "guessed".

The reasons listed above are somewhat true.

They "were" my excuses for not getting laid. They were the easiest ways to explain why I was such a huge failure with the women I wanted.

And yes I WILL agree that every one of those do happen. Some women will only sleep with guys who fall under one or more of those types.

It happens.

It's reality.


None of those describe the REAL reasons why I didn't get laid for years.

They only describe a limited belief system. A generalization of women and how it felt to me.

The absolute truth is, despite the reality of what I saw and experienced, there was definitely something more going on.

Every one of the types exhibit something which is causing the real attraction which you can learn how to do.

They also go above and beyond attraction.

A woman might choose to sleep with certain guys but they are not choosing to feel attraction which is just or more likely to lead to sex.

The reality of my abstinence was:

#1. Not understanding how attraction works for women.

I projected how I experienced raw attraction and assumed it worked that way for women too.

Women do experience something with looks alone and being good-looking or having one of those listed above might get you laid but unless or until you understand HOW and WHY her attraction is triggered you'll always use one of the reasons above as just as an excuse as why YOU are not getting laid.

Read this book immediately because for a little over twenty bucks you'll understand exactly how it works for women and how: 

Click HERE to Learn How To Use Secret Communication And Sexual Body Language To Attract Women - Attraction Isn't A Choice

#2. An inability to communicate to women to create that attraction.

No matter how much of a "man" I thought I was, no matter how many good "attractive" traits I actually had, I just did NOT know how to communicate those traits to women which would convey and spark attraction.

The secret to attracting more women which can give you the opportunity to sleep with more of them (if that's what you really want) is once again brought to you in a few enlightening statements my affiliate and past teacher writes:

Communication is a skill you can learn.

Attracting women is about your communication and how you interact with them.

#3. A limited belief system which had me believing that woman had a choice.

My belief was that women were "choosing" or not choosing to feel something for me.

I actually believed that some of those women were feeling something for me but they were deciding to either not feel anything or deciding to not sleep with me because I didn't fall into one of or more of those categories above.

#4. A choice I made to not sleep with women when I was not attracted to them.

I must admit I had high hopes and standards and maintained them despite my sexual urges.

But this was MY choice and not theirs.

The point I'm making today is simply:

Sure, you're going to find women who will limit themselves to guys who fall in one or more of those categories.

They will choose to sleep with or date further only the types of men listed above.

Now, if you can tell me you wouldn't sleep with a woman based on her looks alone you "might" be able to pass judgement on them by why judge when you can just refuse to entertain them.

You DO have a choice to act or not act.

A woman experiences real attraction based on a feelings which go beyond how a guy looks.

Having high social status is something which is actually conveyed by how you communicate with women.

Having high status is a belief you have in yourself which women feel.

Pre-selection (when thrown at women blatantly) is a game and it's not a game you want to be playing.

However pre-selection comes down to how you hold yourself and the confidence you have around women which has them feeling and believing you're pre-selected...

...And you don't need to hot chics hanging on your arms for that to happen.

Being a bad boy doesn't have to be a dangerous act.

The bay boy brings out a woman's urges in a way which can be achieved without risking your life or hers.

IF you know how and why it really works.

If you think being a jerk or treating women like shit will get you laid, think about the type of women who would rather be treated like that and is willing to fuck you and I believe you'll have your answer on this one.

Enough said.

Money - Sure money appears to be important in our world. All things aside it buys food and a place to live BUT the vast majority of men and women in this world barely survive with the money they earn and looking around, I'd say there's still a ton of sex going on.

Money will get you laid when you go buy a prostitute.

If a woman is only sleeping with you because you have money, well then we might consider she is just a different kind of prostitute.

Attraction has been around a lot longer than money has and we're still around.

Which means money has little or nothing to do with creating attraction and if you want to get laid more often, free of charge, you'd better be good at creating attraction and not making money.

You can see I didn't get laid because I didn't know these so-called secrets and my belief system thought the patterns I was seeing were reality when under all the fancy lights something more was going on.

If you want to avoid not having sex for years start changing your mindset and do these two things immediately:

1. Become or build yourself into a real confident man who whose belief system isn't based on excuses or isn't limited from your past experienced and they way you perceived them.

Signs of confidence that every great woman looks for in a man:

An “Easy-Going” Attitude
He’s “Put Together”
He’s Humble
He Has A Sense of Humor

The 4 Sure Signs Of Confidence That Women Look For In A Man


"Confidence is the key ingredient of what we commonly think of as “chemistry”… the immediate, unspoken promise that a man is likely to be:

PROTECTIVE AND IN-CONTROL. The kind of man who’s emotionally prepared and knows exactly what to say and do in a given situation.

EXCITING (IN THE RIGHT WAY). In other words, thrilling yet safe… passionate yet mature… unpredictable yet trustworthy.

CAPABLE OF SUCCEEDING IN LIFE AND LOVE…while also capable of tolerating and dealing with challenges, loss, and adversity."

The First Thing Women Look For In “Mr. Right”

2. Learn how to communicate that guy you're building to women in a way which actually creates attraction.

It's not about them.

It's about YOU and how you interact and communicate yourself to them.

I didn't get laid because I didn't have that skill of communication.

I knew how to talk to women. I knew how to become friends with them. I had some great qualities. I was a good guy. I had standards. I sincerely cared about women and wanted only the best for them.

But, I just did not know how to communicate those great qualities.

So what's your excuse? What are you not getting laid?

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Her Attraction Signs Signals Cover

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Stop wasting time with women who only will EVER want to be your friend!


Dave here (…) I never put it use in my social life probably because I was raised to believe only “sluts” want sex and who wants a slut, right? Right now she is looking pretty good. LOL (…)  making me feel better about many things I just wanted to say I am glad I accidentally ran across your site and to say Thank You and keep up the good work. 

Thank You again your awesome and your teachings are also, Dave Allen

About the author: Peter White – I know a few things about life, dating, attraction, & relationships. It feels great to share & also helps pay some bills. Get in touch, become a member, and hope you get something useful out of it all.

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The article is posted in these Categories: Getting Laid – Sex – Sexual Desires – Stamina – Everyone Loves Doing It

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4 comments… add one
  • Jared

    I think being genitally mutilated has hurt me with girls.

    • Sorry to hear. BUT I believe you can find plenty of women who won’t judge you or will date you based on what you have, or not have in your pants.

  • Nicole

    Hi Pete!

    Your “Signs of Confidence” that a woman looks for in a man is absolutely spot on. 100%. No need to elaborate. Good read as always 🙂