Why Women Lie When They Say They Are Not Attracted To You

Have you ever assumed a woman was lying to you when you she rejected you? Have you ever asked yourself one or more of these questions:

"Why doesn't she just tell me the truth?"

"Why does she have to come up with some lame excuse about how we're JUST FRIENDS?"

Or tell me,

"Sorry. It's just not the right time."

Or how she's afraid to lose a good friend, she does not date older (or younger) guys, etc...

How come she just won't come out and say,

"I'm just not attracted to you! Please leave me alone and forget about anything EVER happening between US!"

Here is something I learned about begin rejected, and some of the feelings associated with it.

I knew.

I ALWAYS KNEW that she just didn't want me but I refused to believe it. I tried to change her mind.

I made myself believe that because she would not tell me directly, there was still a chance.

And you know what, I was actually right.

I still had a chance. I've had chances after being told I was pathetic loser. The problem was, I just kept doing the same thing which caused her to first reject me.

It never occurred to me that trying something different might actually change the situation.

Here are two main reasons why women lie like this:

1. She's doesn't want to hurt your feelings.

People lie all the time trying to avoid hurting someone's feeling. I would have to say sometimes it needs to be done.

But most of the time there is no need for lying. Being upfront, honest, and direct to me, is a better way to relate to people.

This is what we might call a white lie.

This is the most common lie when a woman isn't "feeling" it for you.

2. She likes your attention and she's afraid she will lose it if she's tells you the truth.

Lots of women love attention and since women are just like you and I, there are some bad ones out there who will use their beauty for attention.

They crave it. It makes them feel better about themselves.

And yes, women like this will often lie to keep you around.

Their excuses vary but the goal of the lie is the same.

This is what we might call a manipulative lie.

If you're asking this question you might be wondering how to detect the white lies from the manipulative ones.

When I find myself in a situation where I'm giving a woman too much attention and she's liking it, then as I attempt to escalate to a more physical level, she pulls back.

I could call her on it and demand the truth but I've done that before. That often escalates to a bad experience.

I would rather pull back further and objectify the situation quickly.

Pay attention to how she interacts with others to determine if you were just another notch in her attention belt.

Doing this serves three purposes:

  1. Gets yourself away from the bad ones.
  2. Allows you to direct the path of your relationship in a different direction, if  you messed up with creating attraction.
  3. Immediately begins to separate the failure making it easier to move on. You do not want to dwell on any failed interaction for too long, especially when it led to lying.

With all that said...

Yes. Women WILL lie when they are NOT attracted to a man.

"You get along extremely well and you “click,” but she talks about other guys and how it’s so hard to find a good one. All the while you’re thinking she must be blind because she’s not even noticing you."

Do Women Hide It When They Are Attracted to You?

I'd say it's mainly because she doesn't want to hurt the guys feelings.

The second type of lie I suppose is not as common and very easy to detect anyways. Women who want or thrive on that much attention are quite obvious about it.

The real problem with all this is the main reason it's included in the nice guy approach today... along with so many other items.

Nice guys who are rejected "nicely" find it hard to believe she's telling the truth. Just like I did.

They will insist on doing the same things with her expecting something to change when it's highly unlikely.

They might even believe she's lying because she's feeling attracted BUT doesn't want to admit it.

As if admitting would mean something different to the current friendly relationship, when it will not.

You see... it's (in part) a "friends zone" problem.

IF you're in love, like, or highly attracted to your woman friend you might find it hard to see the truth behind your situation... like I did for so many years.

It's also a signal problem.

You're constantly looking for signs a woman likes you when you must be focused on creating those feelings yourself.

That's how attraction is supposed to work.

You have a desire to make sure 100% she "likes" you before you're willing to step up and make it happen because you're afraid of being rejected.

Note taken, I hear you BUT rejection is a part of life and growth.

Never forget that.

Without failure and rejection one can never really grow.

If you constantly feel women are lying to you about their attraction it's time to truly objectify your situation.

Step back.

Ask your friends if you must.

Ask me below if you can.

I'd be happy to tell you the truth or to look at your situation from the outside looking in.

IF you still believe a certain woman is in love with you but just won't admit it, which is another situation entirely and I would NOT include it in this article.

The absolute truth is women DO lie to certain men to SPARE THEIR FEELINGS because on the average NO ONE likes to reject someone their friends with or know in some way.

HOWEVER you can look at all this from a positive angle...

If this is a consistent "problem" or "dilemma" you are facing then it is a CLEAR SIGNAL women don't believe (or feel) you're strong enough to handle the truth and might see you as less than a man she would feel attraction for.

The problem isn't solved BUT you now have a positive direction to go so you'll avoid asking this question in the future.

Immediately go to work on your communication with women so they see you as a strong dating/relationship option instinctively.

More truth... the most common question I hear from women is, "Does he like me?" or some form of it and so I can guarantee if you're asking that question too, or believe women are lying to you about how they feel, then they do NOT see you as the masculine man I KNOW YOU CAN BE.

Women AND men lie about their attraction or how they're feeling all the time and they have their reasons. Some of them listed today.

BUT again, IF it's happening during a rejection then it is normally because they do not wish to hurt the other person's feelings.

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About the Expert: Peter White – Dating and Attraction Expert. Creator of DiaLteG™. (dial – teg) Thanks for stopping by and giving me the opportunity to teach you a little something about women.

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Leave a Comment

8 comments… add one
  • Matt

    Chick I work with gave me all the signs I should ask her out. When I did she said she doesn’t date co workers

  • Angel

    A girl that I met a little while ago, showed me so many signs that she likes me (blushes, stares at me, acts strange, laugh at everything, copies my actions, and looks me in the eyes, from which you can read the love that she feels). She is very shy and nice, but so am I. Everyone around us tells me that she likes me, but if she finds out about it, she says that there is no such thing. I was at her place one day, and she started talking about very personal stories. She talked about a guy that she had crush on for 3 years, added some details, and said that she noticed that he was lying about liking her on purpose. Then asked me if she needs to pursuit him, and before I answered, she started talking about how much of a fuckboy he was, and then jumped to the conclusion that she needs to forget him. For some reason she thanked me many times. I could see in her eyes that she was heartbroken, because of that guy. The same night, when I got home, like the dumbest fuck ever to live, I decided to tell her that I like her. She first told me that she didn’t like me more than a friend, but then spit out some truth. She was so hurt, because of that fuckboy, that she was too afraid to start another relationship. Then when I asked her if she was confident in her answer she just replied “Friends”, but afterward, she told me how much she counted on me and beged me to stay good friends with her. A few hours after that she asked me if she can come to my house, because we talked about that earlier. Then the next day, her mother was driving her, and when we met, she looked at me with a huge smile and hope in her eyes (The girl had told her about what happened). The girl was acting like she had hurt my feelings, and was very upset. Then I opened the then again and she told me very scared “You know… I just hadn’t felt anything more…”, without looking at me for most of the time. After we got inside my house, we started playing music and she began dancing and singing very strange. Then I decided to introduce her to my friend, which I told about her. She again started acting very strange and looking me in the eyes with (idk how to describe it) with a smile in her eyes. Before she left she gave me a warm hug. After she left, it was only me and my friend, and when I opened the theme about her, he told me “Bro, she likes you very much!”. I became very confused (and I still am), because everyone can read it in her eyes, and she still resists to tell me the truth. Should I let her go, or should I keep contact with her and wait for the things to happen? (I want to keep fighting for her, because I love her more than anything – Cute, Beautiful, Smart and nice) Is she lying about not liking me? (Because she may be scared of being heartbroken again, since it happened so recently)

    • Angel – She doesn’t like you that way and probably never will. She’s doing whatever she needs to do to keep you around as her “friend” and nothing more. It’s generally called “keeping someone on the hook” and it’s not someplace any guy should ever settle staying because it’s one sided and will stop you from moving on.

      I know it hurts to hear. I know she supposed looks at you with that “look” in her eye so you don’t believe it BUT trust IF something was going to happen, if she really felt that strongly about you – I guarantee you wouldn’t be writing this here right now – you’d be doing things with her because you’d actually be dating.

      I also know you “think she’s giving you all the signs that she like you. You wrote (blushes, stares at me, acts strange, laugh at everything, copies my actions, and looks me in the eyes) – guess what man, and this is something you NEED to hear – those are NOT signs a woman gives when she’s feeling deeply attracted to someone. Those are signs of someone who is comfortable being around you, sees you as a close friend, and is NORMAL. Relatively speaking of course.

      No – she is not lying to you. Sorry.

      • Ralph

        Yo Angel, Peter White is a wack virgin bro. Check it, give this girl some space. Don’t be rude to her just do your own thing for a bit (like 4-6 months). I guarantee she’ll see you differently.