Have you ever assumed a woman was lying to you when you she rejected you? Have you ever asked yourself one or more of these questions:
“Why doesn’t she just tell me the truth?”
“Why does she have to come up with some lame excuse about how we’re JUST FRIENDS?”
Or tell me,
“Sorry. It’s just not the right time.”
Or how she’s afraid to lose a good friend, she does not date older (or younger) guys, etc…
How come she just won’t come out and say,
“I’m just not attracted to you! Please leave me alone and forget about anything EVER happening between US!”
Here is something I learned about begin rejected, and some of the feelings associated with it.
I ALWAYS KNEW that she just didn’t want me but I refused to believe it. I tried to change her mind.
I made myself believe that because she would not tell me directly, there was still a chance.
And you know what, I was actually right.
I still had a chance. I’ve had chances after being told I was pathetic loser. The problem was, I just kept doing the same thing which caused her to first reject me.
It never occurred to me that trying something different might actually change the situation.
Here are two main reasons why women lie like this:
1. She’s doesn’t want to hurt your feelings.
People lie all the time trying to avoid hurting someone’s feeling. I would have to say sometimes it needs to be done.
But most of the time there is no need for lying. Being upfront, honest, and direct to me, is a better way to relate to people.
This is what we might call a white lie.
This is the most common lie when a woman isn’t “feeling” it for you.
2. She likes your attention and she’s afraid she will lose it if she’s tells you the truth.
Lots of women love attention and since women are just like you and I, there are some bad ones out there who will use their beauty for attention.
They crave it. It makes them feel better about themselves.
And yes, women like this will often lie to keep you around.
Their excuses vary but the goal of the lie is the same.
This is what we might call a manipulative lie.
If you’re asking this question you might be wondering how to detect the white lies from the manipulative ones.
When I find myself in a situation where I’m giving a woman too much attention and she’s liking it, then as I attempt to escalate to a more physical level, she pulls back.
I could call her on it and demand the truth but I’ve done that before. That often escalates to a bad experience.
I would rather pull back further and objectify the situation quickly.
Pay attention to how she interacts with others to determine if you were just another notch in her attention belt.
Doing this serves three purposes:
- Gets yourself away from the bad ones.
- Allows you to direct the path of your relationship in a different direction, if you messed up with creating attraction.
- Immediately begins to separate the failure making it easier to move on. You do not want to dwell on any failed interaction for too long, especially when it led to lying.
With all that said…
Yes. Women WILL lie when they are NOT attracted to a man.
“You get along extremely well and you “click,” but she talks about other guys and how it’s so hard to find a good one. All the while you’re thinking she must be blind because she’s not even noticing you.”
I’d say it’s mainly because she doesn’t want to hurt the guys feelings.
The second type of lie I suppose is not as common and very easy to detect anyways. Women who want or thrive on that much attention are quite obvious about it.
The real problem with all this is the main reason it’s included in the nice guy approach today… along with so many other items.
Nice guys who are rejected “nicely” find it hard to believe she’s telling the truth. Just like I did.
They will insist on doing the same things with her expecting something to change when it’s highly unlikely.
They might even believe she’s lying because she’s feeling attracted BUT doesn’t want to admit it.
As if admitting would mean something different to the current friendly relationship, when it will not.
You see… it’s (in part) a “friends zone” problem.
IF you’re in love, like, or highly attracted to your woman friend you might find it hard to see the truth behind your situation… like I did for so many years.
It’s also a signal problem.
You’re constantly looking for signs a woman likes you when you must be focused on creating those feelings yourself.
That’s how attraction is supposed to work.
You have a desire to make sure 100% she “likes” you before you’re willing to step up and make it happen because you’re afraid of being rejected.
Note taken, I hear you BUT rejection is a part of life and growth.
Never forget that.
Without failure and rejection one can never really grow.
If you constantly feel women are lying to you about their attraction it’s time to truly objectify your situation.
Ask your friends if you must.
Ask me below if you can.
I’d be happy to tell you the truth or to look at your situation from the outside looking in.
IF you still believe a certain woman is in love with you but just won’t admit it, which is another situation entirely and I would NOT include it in this article.
The absolute truth is women DO lie to certain men to SPARE THEIR FEELINGS because on the average NO ONE likes to reject someone their friends with or know in some way.
HOWEVER you can look at all this from a positive angle…
If this is a consistent “problem” or “dilemma” you are facing then it is a CLEAR SIGNAL women don’t believe (or feel) you’re strong enough to handle the truth and might see you as less than a man she would feel attraction for.
The problem isn’t solved BUT you now have a positive direction to go so you’ll avoid asking this question in the future.
Immediately go to work on your communication with women so they see you as a strong dating/relationship option instinctively.
More truth… the most common question I hear from women is, “Does he like me?” or some form of it and so I can guarantee if you’re asking that question too, or believe women are lying to you about how they feel, then they do NOT see you as the masculine man I KNOW YOU CAN BE.
Women AND men lie about their attraction or how they’re feeling all the time and they have their reasons. Some of them listed today.
BUT again, IF it’s happening during a rejection then it is normally because they do not wish to hurt the other person’s feelings.