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Why You Always Lose When You Compete Against Them – A Secret Of Success

There’s some bad advice going around the world about being competitive. How you have to beat your competition if you want to win.

How you have to do it better and faster than them. How you must get there first.

How you must spy on or scope out your opponent if you want to succeed.

I think they’re ALL wrong.

The FACT is: You can do something, anything, better than anyone else has ever done – and yet you can still FAIL.

You can play your best and still be beaten.

You can come up with the greatest invention the world has ever seen or used and still die a penniless miserable man or woman with NOTHING to show for it.

Maybe history will give your due after, maybe it won’t.

Competition is merely just an excuse to explain FAILURE or why you failed in a way to make you feel better about losing.

Sure – teams compete with each other. The winners are celebrated, given trophies, fame, and sometimes fortune.

The next time around the “other” team wins and they’re given the special privileges often handed over to the VICTOR of last year’s BIG game.

Passing on the torch seems to be a tradition kept up and praised on by the many masses who choose to participate or watch or align themselves with such as – “Your team sucks this year. Mine will kick your ass this time around!”

Round and round it goes in an never-ending quest not designed for success or to be competitive…

Any competitive sport is merely a fun way to amuse ourselves, have a little fun, be athletic, and offer the spectators an escape and something enjoyable to watch.

They say competition is good for all of us. It instills drive. It moves us forward.

It makes us want to do things better and better that way success is sure to follow… which if you pay attention to what really happens in the world – being successful has little to do with knowledge or expertise or who is the best at it.

Success is NOT just handed over to those who are good at something or who happens to be better than anyone else at doing it.

Success follows the bold, the blind, the risk takers, and the ones who are in the right place at the right time and step up to the challenge and sometimes – they’re actually READY for it when the opportunity show itself.

The bold.

Despite what others say or believe they don’t simply think it can be done when others say it’s impossible – they BELIEVE in their own power that it CAN be done.

The blind.

They don’t see failure. They don’t see their supposed competition. They don’t see something as an obstacle, they BELIEVE it’s an opportunity for success.

The risk takers.

Putting your balls, your life, your money, your time, your heart and soul on the line in exchange for NOT something greater – BUT because of the enjoyment of the challenge while it’s happening.

The end-result is the boring part.

Getting there is the fun part.

Yeah – I did it! I got it…

Now what’s next?


Competing with others is not the driving force – it’s the challenge – the thrill of the ride – the moments to hold on to…

It’s the FEELING we get to experience that we’re really after and the other stuff – well that’s normally the part most of us would like to avoid because EVERYONE knows in their heart, SUCCESS comes with greater responsibility and problems all in itself most hate having to contend with; getting there sometimes can mean the fun is now over.

In my world – competition is not a game to be played against others.

It’s just a word used to described an event.

It’s just another lame attempt to classify or categorize others into a simple easy-to-understand giant lump:



The BEST & the WORST.

Call it the grand unified theory (or GUT) of the failed social science of making oneself feel better about themselves by making someone else feel worse about themselves.

“A “competition,” by its very nature, is what psychologists call an “extrinsic incentive.” Extrinsic simply means that the motivation to adopt a behavior or decision is sourced externally rather than internally (e.g., when you do something because you get a reward for it). A fundamental characteristic (and downside) of nearly all extrinsic incentives is that they only tend to work for as long as the incentive is maintained!”

The Psychology of Competition – How competitions can lead you to do the right thing for the wrong reason

Seems to me the EXTERNAL reward of competition is to feel good for a short time while at the same time classifying humans into a few basic categories as if we can’t deal with a person just being a person until such time we can find a niche for them to live in.

You might thinking now I’m against competition or perhaps I’m just a whiny loser who thinks everyone should get a participation trophy just because they showed up.

Well yes, no, maybe…

Showing up for LIFE and doing what you can with the limited time you have is its own PARTICIPATION trophy.

Not against that part.

I’m not against sports or competitions of any sort at all.

They serve a purpose and lots of them.

Sure there are, as noted above, some major problems with them as us humans try to find simplicity in all the complexity around us.


I AM against using or stating anything and everything about BEATING someone else in order to succeed AND every bad concept which originates from it.

I AM against the long-held belief that just because you’re good at something that makes you better than someone else.

I AM against the idea that life is a competition filled with winners or losers and for you to survive (and thrive) you have to beat your competition to whatever food source or sustainable item you need.

There may not appear to enough for everyone BUT together we can certainly figure out a way to assure there is enough without having to steal it from another persons mouth, pocket, feelings of happiness, or soul.

In fact as stated in the closing paragraph from the article above:

“…competition is not the only dominant force in nature, it is rivaled only by its better half: cooperation. Indeed, humans not only survived by competing but perhaps more importantly, we survived by cooperating with one another.”

The Psychology of Competition – How competitions can lead you to do the right thing for the wrong reason


I’m not some soul guru or ex-hippy spouting out words of love and peace and harmony either.

My points are simple and however you want to elaborate on them or build them up into something which matches your belief system or goes entirely against mine is up to you.

Here’s what I believe:

For YOU to succeed does not mean someone else has to fail.

For YOU to win does not mean someone else has to lose.

For YOU to be happy does not mean someone else needs to be made miserable.

For YOU to get something does not mean someone can’t have it too.

Success does not grant happiness.

Failure does not mean misery.

Happiness is not about winning.

Misery is not about losing.

Nothing is ever created or destroyed, it simply perceived or used in a different way.

Life is not given to you by taking it from someone else.

Combined all together…

There is no YOU against THEM!

You can’t beat death.

Your only real TRUE competition in your life is YOU.

When you learn to ONLY COMPETE with yourself you will ALWAYS WIN and…  You will do it in a way which doesn’t make everyone else a LOSER.

About the author: Peter White – I can help you find, meet, and attract your ideal woman for a real relationship. Live your life the way you want to with purpose and fun. Build a mindset that is free and positive. Learn the truths about attraction. When you can do that – the woman of YOUR CHOICE will gladly join you.

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