T here is no doubt in my mind that women CAN find themselves loving a man secretly…
Think about the answer you want to hear.
Do you feel someone close to you loves you secretly and you’re trying to figure out if she really likes you?
Well, fortunately no answer in dating or relationships is always so simple or black and white. Otherwise it would be kind of boring, wouldn’t it.
We all have choices to make and sometimes women, just like men, make choices they think are the right one. Some women will put a love interest in the friend’s zone for reasons which go beyond the,
“I have no sexual feelings for him at all.”
Which is probably the most common. Nice guys like us tend to believe she did on purpose. Like she’s hiding it from us because she won’t admit it but in reality I’ve learned more often than not it was not a conscious thought to NOT like us.
They just didn’t have any sexual feelings for us at all.
BUT, since it’s not all THAT simple there are definitely other reasons a woman will put a guy in the friends zone. As long as there is attraction because without it, the first reason remains the ONLY reason so…
If she’s attracted to us:
She may not be ready for a relationship.
Women who put their career ahead of everything else in their life often put men in the friend’s zone because they don’t have time for a relationship. Although they might re-think it all when the right guy comes along.
She puts men in the friend’s zone that are strictly relationship material while enjoying casual sex with partners who are not. She’ll hook up with guys just because she assumes they’re not going to get clingy, needy, or they’re commitment phones.
They’re probably pretty good in bed but are NOT marriage material.
Sometimes this is conscious. Sometimes it’s not.
She may not love herself enough.
This type of woman often ends up in short-term destructive relationships. She doesn’t love herself enough to feel someone else could love her back. She always questioning herself and why someone else might like her so much.
She ends up opening up to men who will prove this to her. She will then put men who show her the most real affection into the friend’s zone and avoid looking deeper into it.
She may even think,
“If he loves me – then what’s wrong with him.”
She’s not in touch with her feelings or better yet, how to act on them AND she claims she struggles reading men.
This type of woman often misreads many clues or hints a man gives that he wants for more than just a friendship.
She unknowingly puts him on the friend’s zone because she actually believes he doesn’t like her that way.
When we wait too long without advancing or showing we’re even remotely interested in more she’ll do it to possibly spare the heartache or assume we don’t like her back.
Waiting too long and entering the friendship can easily lead us to become such good friends with her – she doesn’t want to ruin the friendship you’ve created.
Often at this point though, she’s feeling little or no attraction at all making it even easier on her to choose “just friends”.
Is every woman mentioned above keeping a secret.
Of course not…
But to us, if we don’t understand women and attraction it just feels like she’s keeping a secret.
- Case 1 – She’s not attracted to us but since we’ve made a connection we think it’s there.
- Case 2 – She won’t allow herself to date a guy who is only relationship material.
- Case 3 – She’s hiding herself and not the secret.
- Case 4 – She missed the signs, we didn’t act on time, so the attraction went away and was replaced by strict comfort.
There is one situation I’m aware where she’ll keep it a secret.
He’s married or in a committed relationship
She loves him without any doubt in her mind. He’s all she can think about.
She may never reveal her secret to anyone, anywhere, or at any time but it’s there.
What makes it deeper and then worse for her is that since it’s never revealed or the relationship is never played out, the mystery remains along with all the “what ifs” having her continually over think everything.
She’ll wonder – if he’s doing this because of me. Is he happy with her? What if they break up? Why is he…..?
So yes. If you’re asking this question – Can She Secretly Be In Love With Me? AND you’re seeing someone, married, possibly a live-in girlfriend and all the signs are there, then there’s more than a great chance she has feelings for you.
Ask yourself and try to answer objectively by looking for all the clues you’ll find written here –> How to Tell If A Woman Is Interested In You. It’s one of the best I’ve found and so posted it up for us.
We may not be any closer to figuring this common problem or question so many of us nice guys have so I’ve included a post I wrote –> –> Is She Interested in You? Is She Attracted You? How Can You Tell? to help us out.
It will explore this attraction or secrecy problem from many points of view and is intended for “habitual” friend zoned guys like I was.
We also might find ourselves wondering why women DO put us in the friends zone or the signs she gives which are not always so obvious.
This is why we’ll find these helpful:
- Reasons Why Women Put You In The Friends Zone (1-12)
- Reasons Why Women Put You In The Friends Zone (13-28)
- Reasons Why Women Put You In The Friends Zone (29-32)
- Reasons Why Women Put You In The Friends Zone (33-36)
- 5 Signs You’re In The Friend’s Zone
- Does She Really Like Us? Signs That She Has Put Us In Her Friends Zone