This question about women who end in the friends zone can be complicated but it doesn’t have to be that way.
Today’s lesson is for woman and it’s been chosen to be featured on a men’s advice site because there may be some guys who have put you in the friends zone and can help you out of it – or let you know the reasons why or how you end up there.
The difference between how a man ends up in your friends zone and how you find yourself just being a friend with a guy can be very similar because they both center around…
Attraction. The physical type and the emotional type.
A guy will sleep with his friend IF he’s physically or emotionally attracted to her. He’s more likely to RISK the friendship for sex or in starting a relationship.
A woman is less likely to sleep with her friend even if she’s feels any kind of attraction. She’s not always willing to risk losing the friendship for sex or to start a relationship.
If a guy is not feeling any kind of attraction towards a woman it’s very rare for him to begin to feel it. This includes both types of attraction. Making it incredibly much more difficult for a woman to escape his friends zone.
If a woman is not feeling any type of attraction for a guy she can be made to feel something for a guy over time IF he does it right. This may make it seem like it’s easier for a man to escape her friends zone BUT since women are less likely to risk losing the friendship – it’s not a guarantee and doesn’t increase the odds of it happening.
You will find guys (although rare) who will opt for sex with a woman he’s not at all attracted towards just for sex and even more rare, a few guys will start a relationship when he feels little or no attraction towards her.
A man will NEVER, for all practical situations, put a woman in the strictest friendship role IF he’s is physically attracted to her. He may keep her around as a friend, but will (depending on circumstances) be more open to something happening between them.
All this leads me to conclude the two main reasons as to why a guy will put you in the friends zone.
#1. No physical or emotional attraction.
Men experience two stages of attraction.
The first being the physical.
The second being the emotional or connection phase.
They are NOT mutually exclusive.
A man can feel a very strong emotional or second stage attraction with a woman he’s not physically attracted to AND a man can feel a strong physical attraction to a woman without any emotional connection at all.
#2. When the time was right – you both missed a critical step in the normal mating ritual.
You were put in the friends zone because he didn’t know how or what to do to make something else happen or wasn’t convinced you felt the same way.
You become or became just his friend when he felt rejected and “settled” for anything that would keep him close to you – just in case or in the hope something may sooner or later happen.
You might think a guy will “friend you” because of a deal-breaker but it normally doesn’t happen that way.
If he doesn’t certain things about you he will in all likelihood NEVER become friends with you anyways because men take friendships with women much more seriously and scrutinize them more than they do with their guy friends.
A guy will put up with a lot of shit from another dude and still be friends but he won’t do the same for a woman.
Remember we’re talking about real friendships and not casual acquaintances. He might be around you once in a while but you won’t end up hanging out or doing things together UNLESS he’s physically or emotionally attracted to you.
There is a myth that men can not develop feelings for one of his “girl” friends but that is far from the truth.
BOTH the physical or emotional can increase the more time a guy spends with you.
Just like to you as woman, it generally comes down to HOW A GUY MAKES YOU FEEL – the same truth applies to men.
A man can begin to feel something for a woman (both attractions) slowly over time.
The most common scenario of a “woman being in the friends zone” happens because your attraction to a guy happens more slowly than him.
By the time you’re starting to feel something for him – you’ve already been friended and feels there’s no way to escape it now.
Your friendship with him is not granting you privilege to talk about with him and if you’re smart – which I know you are – then you must realize that once the topic is out, there’s no turning back.
Ask yourself a very important question:
Would you rather stay friends with him and wait out your feelings for him OR would it be simpler and easier to get it out there and see what happens?
Transform yourself into the future with him and imagine how it’s going to be when he has other women in his life, when he finds a girlfriend or worse yet – gets married AND you’re still feeling it for him.
Looking at it from that perspective might help you to move the process along and not wait forever for something to happen.
Sure you can wait him out and “see” what happens but there’s absolutely NO guarantee he’s feeling the same way about you or something will ever happen.
No sense of being stuck when you can be more open to meeting other guys.
My personal advice to you – if you’re liking or in love with your friend is to start immediately changing your interactions with him. Introduce some flirting.
Find ways to get with him where something more intimate might naturally occur.
Hopefully today’s post has helped you out a little and showed you exactly a little about the friends zone and the main reasons why you ended up there and what it mean, or can mean between and the guy you’re wondering about.
Since the transition to making DiaLteG TM just for men I strongly encourage and suggest you take a good look at my “only for women” – “all about guys” website appropriately named Why Do Guys…?
You’ll find lots of great stuff on understanding men there.
Your second choice and a great opportunity would be to look at the articles at the approach I’ve written for women. The Approach – For Women Category.
Thanks for stopping by and I do hope you found the answer you were looking for.
Hey guys – If at anytime you put a woman in the friends zone, please share your experience and reasons below. Women would love to hear all about it.